Doug The Vampire Hunter


"Hey Will?" Ethan started

"Yeah, what's up?"         

"Big ask but Sarah's busy with family plans and Jane needs a babysitter, so can you fill in?"

"Aw, course can't leave baby Ethan on his own now can we?" I mocked, pinching his cheeks

"Ha, whatever, thanks" he smiled

//

Jane was rewatching Dusk, again, so I decided to sit downstairs with the boys and watch Doug The Vampire Hunter. It was a load of BS but I'd rather watch a middle-aged man try to hunt the supernatural than a Twilight knockoff.

"Rory! Vampire's don't even need food!" I heard Ethan yell

"You know I'm a stress eater!" he mumbled through all the crisps in his mouth.

"Shove up," I squeezed inbetween the sofa arm and Rory, the boys looking at me confused, "Jane's watching Dusk"

"Oh." They said in sync

"Scare Finde rule number eight, don't be afraid of scares" Doug's voice echoed from the TV.

"Doug's fearless" Benny stated, "He's a machine designed to like delete fear from itself"

All of the boys nodded in agreement. "Hey guys, we're live outside this year's Day with Doug Winner!" The camera panned over to a familiar looking door, it was Ethan's house. "This superfan gets to hang out with me and go on a scare-find in his own town!" As Doug's hand reached over and pressed the doorbell, coincidentally someone pressed Ethan's doorbell. Was he really this stupid?

"Uh, come on!" he groaned, "Who'd bother us now?" Um, maybe the same guy on the TV who's filming your door?

"That kid must have a crazy luck bonus" Rory commented as Ethan went to answer the door, "Like a plus 6"

"I automatically hate this jerk, he should be and he isn't" You're gonna regret saying that Benny.

We all watched the TV as the door opened and to the other's surprise, it was Ethan. Obviously.

"Hey big man!" he voiced it echoing from both the hallway and the TV now, "Name's Doug Falconhawk!"

"Ethan! You'll never believe who won the contest!" Benny yelled down the hall

"You Ethan?" he questioned

"Hi!" he murmured awkwardly

//

"I dig your decorating style Ethan" he complemented

"Ow, ow, ow" Benny repeated

"What's wrong with you?" I questioned

"He's here, this is real, this is a thing that's happening" Ethan reassured his friend, finally stopping him from pinching the skin around his forearm.

Suddenly, it came to my attention that Rory was either growing extremely quick or had just been really tall and I'd never noticed it.

"Dude, this is off several hooks!" Quickly, my arms wrapped around his shoulders, pulling him down. I kept our hands together to prevent it from happening again, like a kid trying not to let go of a balloon.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing, there's an action figure of me!?" he exclaimed in disbelief.

"No, I made that out of other figures!" Ethan explained, "See you've got Wolverine's groin but nobody has awesome hair like you do I had to sculpt that by myself."

"Is that what you used my clay for?" I whisper-shouted

"Yeah, now tiny Doug can kill a vampire!" My eyes widened at this comment, immediately facing towards Ethan, knowing he would've clocked it as well.

"Guys" he whispered, pulling us into a huddle, "I know this is the most awesome thing that's ever happened, ever. But it is also a complete disaster!"

"Bunk! You couldn't name five reasons why"

"I can name eight: Doug hunts paranormal stuff, Erica's a vampire, Sarah's a vampire, Rory's a vampire, Willow is a vampire, I'm a seer and you're a spell caster and an idiot!"

"You got lucky!"

"Huh, I'm pretty quotable!" he mentioned, reading the biography of himself.

"You two have to stay away from Doug," Ethan mentioned to me and Rory, "It's too risky!"

"No problem" I deadpanned

"Are you kidding me dude?" Rory started, "I was a geek before I became Lord of The Night, no way am I passing up the chance to become Doug's assistant."

"Usually the girls buy the calendars" Doug stated, a bit misogynistic.

"Oh yeah um" Ethan pointed at me, "Willow bought it for me. Ok fine, we can hang out with Doug but no matter what we have to keep him away from the girls"

"Thank god" I whispered

"Not you! Sarah and Erica, duh!" Benny snapped

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