T W E N T Y F I V E

SPENCER SAT DOWN in the empty chair next to his mother, waiting for her to notice him.

She was engulfed in writing in her journal but when she finished the page she was writing on, she looked up. Diana Reid stared at her baby boy, in shock and admiration.

"Spencer? What are you doing here?" She threw the journal down and smiled, the wrinkles on her face more evident than ever.

"Mom, I told you in my letter. I wrote that I would be coming to visit today." The smile on Spencer's face fell a centimeter but he quickly picked it back up.

"Oh yes," She covered her mouth before nodding. "Yes, you did. I must've - forgotten, I suppose."

Diana looked at her son once over, "You look so skinny, have you been eating? I sent you that recipe book, have you tried it yet?"

"Yes, I did but. I'm not exactly a cook." He responded, his shoulders slumped in shyness.

"Nonsense. You used to cook all the time when you were younger. I remember you would make me dinner all the time." She waved her hand.

"That was macaroni and cheese." Spencer said matter of factly.

"And it was delicious every time."

A buzz from Spencer's pocket brought his attention away from his mother for a second. It was a text from Scout. He quickly typed out a response and sent it back to her.

Diana gazed at her son and the bright smile he got from his phone.

"Something's different about you."

"Hm?" He looked up and tucked his cell phone back into his pocket.

The elderly woman looked at him over again, her eyes landing every few seconds on somewhere different. He didn't look differently overall. He wore the same clothes, had his hair styled the same way, and his sneakers were just as dirty as ever.

"You're standing taller. You stopped slouching." She brought a finger to her mouth. "What changed?"

"I did?" Spencer rolled his shoulders back, changing his center of balance.

"You don't fool me, Spencer."

"I wasn't trying to."

The woman paused again, "Are you wearing contacts?"

"I always have, it's been a few years."

"No, no," Diana waved her hands around. "Not that. You're eyes, they're lighter. Are you wearing colored contacts?"

Spencer shook his head.

"Hm." She hummed and grabbed Spencer's hand.

She stared at him hard. Her son was different, yes. But the moment she realized why, relief washed over her like a calming wave.

"What's her name?"

Spencer's eyes widened, "How-"

"A mother always knows. I've been telling you this for years, Spencer. I know you, you're my son. It would be criminal for me not to." She smiled at him. "Now, who is she?"

His face flushed from embarrassment, "Scout. Her name is Scout."

"How peculiar. Almost like the book."

"To Kill a Mockingbird." He nodded, finishing the thought for her.

"And?"

"And what?"

"And, are you dating her? What's she like? How did you meet her? C'mon Spencer, don't leave out all the details. A mom literally dreams of moments like these. I've never heard you talk about a girl before. Oh, please tell me I'll get to meet her."

Spencer's mind raced through all the questions. He wasn't expecting his mother to bombard him but he also didn't think that she would outright ask him about her.

"Well - she's funny. Hilarious, actually. I don't think I've ever met such a witty person, besides you of course." Spencer directed a smile towards Diana.

"And she's smart, not book smart. But she's logical and talented, really. It's like I can't keep up with her half the time, almost like my brain just turns off and looses half of my vocabulary. Scout, she's stands out. Not obnoxiously but in her own way, she knows who she is. And this one time-"

Diana watched her son ramble, the same way he always did whenever he was passionate about something. He had her by the ear and never let go.

"What?"

Spencer stopped, looking at Diana. The amusement was evident on her face.

"Nothing," She raises her hands, "Nothing at all, keep going. How'd you meet her? Online?"

"No er, she's on the team. A new member to the BAU. We went on an undercover case a few weeks ago. And she was my partner. I was alone with her for a whole month and I feel like I learned so much about her, and sometimes I feel like I don't know her at all."

"That, Spencer," She pointed at him. "Is a great emotion. You always loved to learn and figure things out. I'm surprised you haven't figured her out."

"I can't," He shrugged. "It's almost impossible."

"Well, I'm just glad you found yourself a girlfriend. Maybe then you can start to settle down, raise a family. I never liked you working on all that dark stuff."

Spencer pursed his lips, "She's not my girlfriend."

"And why not?"

"It's not that simple."

"It really is, Spencer. Do you like her?"

He nodded, "I do."

"Does she make you happy?"

"Yes."

Diana winked at her son, "Then I don't see the problem. Next time you see her, kiss her."

"I," He kicker himself for what he was about to say. "I already tried that."

"And did you kiss her?"

"No, but-"

"Spencer, you're thinking too hard about it. Maybe she likes you back and is waiting for you to make the first move. You both'll be stuck in limbo until then. Trust me, it'll be a lot easier if you don't think about it. Learn to turn off that big brain of yours and be primal. Otherwise, you'll just go numb."

His light brown eyes fell to his hands. He could still feel the cold metal of Scout's car that he pressed against when he leaned down to kiss her. The feeling itself made his whole body go numb and he didn't like it. Not one bit.

"What if she rejects me?" His voice, barely above the tone of a whisper.

Diana grabbed the chin of her son and lifted his face to hers, "Then she would have made the biggest mistake in letting go of the only and only Doctor-"

"Spencer Reid." Scout mumbled under her voice, as she reached the apartment complex of her fellow team member.

The air was cold and Scout was grateful that most people were inside to shelter away from the snow. At this time of night, the entire street was deserted.

So, being the curious girl that she was, she decided to go on run to Spencer's apartment. She knew it was empty as he had left for Las Vegas earlier yesterday.

"I shouldn't be doing this." Scout said as she stood in front of the building, bundled up and with a hood covering her head and parts of her face.

"But am I going to? Fuck yeah, I am."

She quickly jogged to the side of the building and grabbed at the rusty fire escape, careful to not make too much noise. Spencer's apartment was on the third floor from what she recalled. It would be easy enough to get there without being seen.

Once Scout figured she was on the right floor, she peered inside. The living room was just as much of a mess as it was before and the books that were stacked against the walls was the sign she was looking for.

She pulled out from her bag a long and flat piece of metal that she wedges into the crevasse of the window. With a small grunt, Scout used all her force to prop it open and carefully fit her hand in to unlock it.

"There we go." She smiled proudly and stepped into the room.

The smell of coffee and peppermint wrapped around her, reminding Scout of the event that occurred earlier that week. While the apartment was empty and she knew that Spencer was away, she wanted to make sure that the doctor was really out of state.

She pulled out her phone and quickly transcribed a text message to him.

"Hey, hope everything goes well with your mom. Keep me updated on when you get back, maybe we can grab some pizza and hang out before Christmas." Scout read her text out loud.

She read it over once more, "Do I sound too needy? Maybe I should put a smiley face or something?"

"Ugh," Scout said with a groan and hit send, "I hate this, I feel like I'm in middle school. It's embarrassing."

Her phone buzzed with a response not even a minute later which brought a smile to her face.

Sure thing. And thanks, I'll let you know when I come back :)

She chuckled as she noticed the smiley face her had put at the end of his message. Maybe Spencer thought the same thing as her but didn't chicken out. With a shrug, Scout tucked the phone away and looked around the apartment.

It was just as she remembered it but it lacked the warmth Spencer brought to the space. A hit of guilt overcame her as she realized what she was doing.

"I just trespassed on the apartment of the guy that I like. Why am I even doing this? What the hell is wrong with me?"

But she knew why, she was scared.

Here he was, a tall and intelligent man that she couldn't control herself over and Scout had the nerve to think it would all be okay. As if she could actually be with him? No, Xander would find out and he would use it against her. He would use Spencer, maybe even hurt him. Or worse, he could force Scout to hurt him.

The idea frightened her. When she shot Spencer months ago, all she was focused on was the mission. And now, she knew who he was and what he was like. Scout couldn't do it again.

But was Spencer even worth it?

She didn't know him, at least not everything. And that's why she found herself in his empty apartment. She was looking for a reason to not trust him, for a reason that have her feelings to be nothing than lust and obsession.

"Okay, if I was Spencer Reid, where would I hide all my secrets?" Scout mumbled to herself as she walked around.

She was careful to not touch anything unless there was a feeling to search deeper. The living room was a dud as it only had books. And so was the kitchen.

When she walked into the bedroom, Scout made a direct beeline to his nightstand and opened it. Inside were small nicknacks like a solved Rubik's Cube, scrapes of paper, and old takeout receipts. A frown formed on her face until she dug around more, feeling a hard leather cover graze her fingertips. She grabbed whatever it was and pulled it out.

"A journal? I guess I didn't peg Doctor Reid to be the nostalgic type." Scout sat down on the floor and propped her back against the bed.

October 24, 2012

I had a phone call earlier today with Maeve. She asked about my headaches and sleep deprivation and I told her they were getting better. She sounded nervous on the phone but she always does. I attribute this to the recent email she got from her stalker but I did not want to ask. I knew that if I did then it would upset her and she would hang up.

Instead, I suggested that we should meet personally and face to face but she disagreed. Maeve is scared that her stalker would find out and hurt me. I did not want to say that I didn't care if I was hurt but she cares too much about my wellbeing and I assume she wouldn't react well if I did. And while I know my feelings for her are strong after talking these past 6 months, I didn't realize until I said goodbye. She said I love you, as if she had said it to me a million times before and it had become muscle memory.

Before I could respond, she hung up the phone. A part of me believes that it was merely something she would say to her ex husband but the other part says that it was subconscious reflex and she actually meant it. For now, I don't know and I'm having trouble thinking straight because of it. Perhaps I'll ask her next Sunday about it.

December 5, 2012

Today, I missed the biggest opportunity to meet Maeve. I had called her earlier on Sunday, just like I always do. And she sounded different, as if she was no longer nervous but excited. I didn't want to ask about it because I didn't want her to change her voice, I liked the sound of it. But Maeve has always had a beautiful voice.

She believes that her stalker is gone after two weeks of not receiving emails or phone calls. And she asked me to meet in person. I was scared, completely terrified but I agreed. I asked to see her at my favorite restaurant, Ameci's, remembering how much she loves pasta. As I waited for her, I had thought that I saw her stalker and called her to not come.

I was rash and impulsive as it was not her stalker and I did not end up seeing her. She instead left me with a book, The Narrative of John Smith, and wrote a quote inside. Maybe next time, I'll buy her a book and write a quote inside as well.

January 16, 2013

I don't believe I can write anymore. She suggested that I write about our phone calls to keep track of my mental progression. However, as I look back to my recent entries, none of them contain discussion of my mental state. She has plagued my dreams for so long that now she is in my nightmares. It is possible that she may leave, but I do not want her to go.

Scout sat there, digesting the words that she read. She flipped through the last few pages and found nothing else after that entry. More questions plagued her mind. She snuck into his apartment to find answers but was left dumbstruck.

Her head was filled with rapid firing words and the confidence in the feelings that she had for the doctor diminished.

Who was he writing about? Was Spencer in love with her? What happened? Did they break up? Did he cheat on her? Or did she cheat on him? Why was he hiding this? And above all-

"Who the hell is Maeve?"

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
Oh no, Scout is poking her nose in places she shouldn't. And now she's having doubts about her feelings for Spencer because of it. But Spencer is more than certain of his.
I smell trouble right around the corner for these two.
Also, thank you for those who pick up on my grammar mistakes. I don't reread my chapters after I write them cause I'm too excited to post.

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