T H I R T Y F I V E

SCOUT BIT HER lip and twisted Sumo's leash around her wrist as she waited anxiously.

She honestly didn't know what she was going to say to him. In fact, it rather scared her. And she wanted to apologize but she didn't know what would happen after she says 'I'm sorry'.

Would he accept her apology? Or would he turn around and slam the door on her?

"That's not something Spencer would do, right?" Scout peered down at the pup who merely wagged his tail and licked her shoes.

She sighed, resisting the urge to bolt away or slump into a pile of nothingness. It was her mother's fault after all. She was the brute one, they were her words that directed themselves to Spencer. Scout did nothing wrong.

'Well, you didn't defend him either.' She thought out of good conscience.

Right, good conscience. Like Scout had any of that. She was, most importantly, an assassin that had fallen for her target.

She bit her lip again. Fallen. Not in love, of course. But just a small crush and filled with infatuation.

Falling in love was...out of the question? No, impossible more like it.

'What if?...You'll end up in love with him and dragging him into this mess of a life. You can't do that to him. He has a good future; with a job, and a group of friends and family who loves him. And, to be frank, if Xander found out about him, there's no telling what might happen. If something happens - if you get caught, Spencer will get stuck in the middle of it all - that could ruin his life.'

She had a job to do and she could react in two different ways: 1) she could complete it and protect herself and her mother or 2) fight it and hope that no one would ever come to the knowledge of her abilities.

But Scout had to protect her mom. It wasn't like Harper Wiley was a bad person; in fact, she was logical and filled in the role any mother should. She protected her daughter and did her best to own up to her mistakes.

"Why? Why the hell would you say that to him? He's my coworker, not some enemy!"

Harper rolled her eyes, sending a glare to the taxi driver in hopes that he would ignore their conversation. The sound of her wheelchair banging in the trunk would frustrate her through every pothole and speed bump.

"Scout-"

"No, don't Scout me! Did you hear yourself back there? Did you hear how rude you were to him? That was completely unnecessary and I'm actually embarrassed. I need you to be nicer-"

"And I need to fly to Greece, run into a handsome man, and live out a summer romance but sadly, Nicholas Sparks is a writer and not God."

Scout huffed in response, "In case you forgot, we're under Xander's thumb and fleeing the country isn't a financial option we have."

"Which is why I'm so protective over you." Harper stared at her daughter with a kind of pain a mother should never have to experience. Her gaze was filled with dread of the unknown, not being able to predict if they were going to be alive the next day.

For all Harper knew, her supposed-to-be-dead husband could flip a switch and kill them both.

"Mom," Scout softened. "I can protect myself, I'm a big girl now. You said it yourself, I'm practically 007 in killer boots."

Harper chuckled and pushed a strand of her hair back, "I know but there will always be things I can't protect you from. Whatever Xander has planned and him being in our lives is my fault. I should have pushed him out sooner but now it's too late. And you have to deal with my mistakes while I'm stuck in that chair all the time. I can't help you as much as I would want to."

"We'll get through Xander's bullshit together and once we're done then we can relax without him breathing down our backs, okay? I'll take care of the heavy lifting, you just tell him to leave me alone every once and a while."

Harper sighed, "I just want you to be happy, Scout."

"Xander can't control my happiness not matter how hard he tries."

"Scout?"

She turned around and came face to face with the tall doctor carrying a bag full of groceries. Something about the look on his face made her feel uneasy. Maybe Spencer didn't like her anymore after the whole debacle?

She wouldn't blame him if that were the case.

"Spence - hi. Do you um, need help with that?" Scout tried to smile but it just oozed awkwardness.

He shook his head and readjusted the grocery bag in his arms, eyeing her up and down, "I - I got it, thanks."

"Right," She pursed her lips and pulled her hair back. "Look, I know this kinda sudden and unexpected but can we talk?"

"Oh uh sure, yeah."

The pair stayed silent looking at each other. Scout shifted from one foot to the other hoping that he would understand. But the doctor simply gazed at her with the same kind of emotion.

"I was hoping," She pointed to his apartment, "Maybe we could talk - you know - inside?"

"Oh, oh! Right, sorry. Let me just - find my keys, hm." Spencer struggled to drop anything, reaching into his front pocket but not being able to grasp it.

Scout watched, trying not to outwardly chuckled at his lack of dexterity, "Here, let me."

She grabbed the keys from his pocket, careful to not push up against anything or get to close. While Spencer, on the other hand, turned red with embarrassment at her touch. Unlocking the door, she went in first and let Sumo roam around the space while he set down his food in the kitchen.

The apartment hadn't changed since the last time she was there - which happened to be the time she snuck in and snooped through his belongings.

"Do you want some - water? I think I have milk. Or I can make a fresh pot of coffee"

"I don't-"

"You don't drink coffee, right." Spencer inhaled sharply through his teeth, mentally hitting himself for forgetting.

"Water is fine with me."

He nodded and got her a bottle from the refrigerator while he decided that coffee was just what he needed. Being jittery wasn't but that would be a problem he'd figure out later.

Scout watched him, leaning against the counter and trying to find the correct words to start the conversation. On the other hand, Spencer knew exactly what he wanted to say to her.

"Why didn't you introduce me as your boyfriend?" He blurted out, stunning her in the process.

"- What?"

"You said bodyguard, not boyfriend. I mean, are you really that embarrassed of me? What's wrong with me?"

Scout raised a brow, "Besides your taste in music?"

"Oh, so you resent me because of my taste in music?"

"No," She rolled her eyes, "I hate you because you're not Freddie Mercury. C'mon Spencer! Is that really what you think of me?"

"I don't know what I think anymore."

Suddenly, whatever confidence Scout had faded into nothingness. The person that she knew to be the smartest in the world didn't know what to think of her.

"Scout, I didn't mean it like that." Spencer tried to retrace the conversation but failed. The damage had already occurred.

"Oh? Then what did you mean, Spence? Cause you're confusing me more than ever before. Did it ever cross your mind that maybe I wasn't ready to call you my boyfriend to my own mom? Especially since we never even talked about dating or going out?"

Spencer paused, "It may - have crossed my mind."

"Then why are you basically punishing me for being the reasonable one here? Hell, do you even want this?!"

"Of course, I do! I've never wanted anything more in my life. But my God, Scout. You are so confusing sometimes! You make me feel like the dumbest person on the planet without even trying. And all I can wonder is why she would even bother with an idiot like me?"

"Spence -"

All his anger drained away and his shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry. I - never meant to hurt you or make you think that I don't want this - because I do. But I just don't know what to even do sometimes."

She brushed off any irrationalness she was feeling, "Why do you even want this - want me? I'm a mess all the time, I'm impossible to understand."

She looked at him standing before her, the infamous Doctor Spencer Reid in all his fascinating ways and jaw-dropping peculiarity.

He shrugged and, crossing his arms above him and resting his hands on his head, he looked up at the ceiling, "Because I love you." He dropped his arms and looked at her. "Because I've fallen more in love with you every day and have been since the second I saw you."

Shock and surprise settled over her face, and she blinked at him slowly. "Wh - what?"

He sighed and leaned against the counter, as well, but careful not to touch her. "I don't know what to call it. Love at first sight, I guess. I know – it's stupid, and clichéd, and unbelievable, but – it's true."

She looked at him, standing next to her, his head bowed, his arms crossed over his chest, his hands clasped loosely. He looked – defeated.

"S - since you spilled coffee all over me?"

He gave an embarrassed smile. "Yeah. And, in that moment, all I wanted was to find out more about you. And have you smile at me. And hear you laugh. And feel the touch of your hands. And – and – hold you in my arms."

She looked at him, but was unable to speak through the lump that had suddenly formed in her throat.

He continued. "And you didn't want anything to do with me. And I didn't know what to do so I pushed you away and whatever idea I had of you. I was afraid I would get hurt again. And – being me – I saw that maybe I could be with you if you let me in. But you didn't want – just me. You weren't impressed by just my brain. So I thought – 'I can be anything for her. I can be anyone she wants.' And that was wrong. I should have just been myself and not pretend like I knew what I was doing. And I'm sorry that I did. But I'm not sorry about the time I've spent with you, because – I've never been happier."

During the course of his speech, she had covered her mouth with both of her hands, and, after he had finished, she looked at him for a long while.

He watched her uncertainly. "Say something. Please."

Spencer reached out a tentative hand to her, and she allowed him to slide his fingers through hers. "I'm sorry."

"Me, too."

"Do you hate me?" He asked.

"No. I'm still – pissed, but I don't hate you."

"Do – do you – love me?"

Scout bit her bottom lip, "I think I'm still learning how to love someone. And I can't promise that I'll be perfect at it but I think that I could - in time and through whatever mess we create - I know I could fall in love with you."

Spencer, who's face softened at her words with deep admiration, pulled her chin towards him and left a small yet gentle kiss on her lips.

Scout smiled, showing even, white teeth, and a streak of mischief.

They looked at each other for a long moment. The ire faded from his face as quickly as the smile faded from hers, to be replaced by something less obvious. She was not sure who made the first move, but she did know that they burst at each other, all lips and hands and questing fingers.

He tasted incredible; his body felt incredible. Everything that had been locked up inside her for years, and all the sensations that had awakened in her, exploded within, clawing to get out.

Pressed up against him, his arms tight around her body, his hands on the small of her back, urging her closer, she felt his erection.

He slid his hands in the back of her panties, and she felt the roughness of his hands against her skin. She thrust her hands through his hair, attempting to draw him closer. His tongue pushed though her lips and she opened her mouth obediently to allow him access.

He growled deep in his throat and slid his hands within her clothing, cupping her bare buttocks.

"This is crazy." She breathed against his mouth.

"Do you want to stop?" He grabbed her earlobe in his teeth and sucked on it.

Liquid desire pooled in her loins. "No." She fumbled between them, and felt the barrier of his belt. "Belt." He unsnapped it and it fell to the floor with a clang. She slipped her hands inside the waistband of his pants, but he stilled her.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked, pulling away, and her hands fluttered to her side. She had a vision of Xander for a moment, but she blinked it away. He wasn't here, he wasn't in charge of her life.

"Yes. God, yes." She needed this. She needed him.

That was all the invitation he needed. He pulled her into his arms, enfolding her in a grip that was a bit painful, although she didn't care and dragged her into his bedroom. She managed to get her hands under his shirt, and began urging it off.

It caught on his watch, and he clumsily pulled it off and tossed it to the floor. They finally peeled his top off and it was flung across the room, joined a moment later by her t-shirt. She marveled at him for just a moment. His chest was hairless and well-defined, with small pectoral muscles and a strong, flat abdomen that she ached to touch.

In return, he stared at her, as if flummoxed by what to do next. A slow smile came to her face, and she stepped closer, putting her hands on his head and guiding him to her breasts. His mouth was warm and his tongue hard, and against her highly-stimulated breasts, it was exquisite agony. She gave a low groan and allowed her head to fall back, exposing her throat. His hands slid to the small of her back again and he lavished attention on each breast in turn, and then worked his way up her neck to her mouth.

She slid her fingers into the top of his pants and began tugging them down, freeing his erection and pushing him back onto the bed. She grabbed his calf and pulled each shoe off in turn while he watched, magnificent and impressive in his nudity, a smile on his face.

She shoved her underwear down, stepped out of them, and climbed onto the bed, straddling him. She crawled up to him, full of sexual confidence she didn't know she had until it dawned on her.

"You wouldn't happen to have - you know - protection?" Her face turned to a blush.

Spencer nodded and pulled a condom from his nightstand, sending her a shy smile but it didn't matter in that moment.

"I like strong women." He kicked off the remainder of his clothes.

She gave a wolfish smile. "Good."

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
and i oop-

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