T H I R T Y E I G H T

SPENCER WATCHED HOW Scout stared at the blank wall across his bedroom.

It was rare to see the boisterous girl deep in thought and silent. Usually she was bouncing off the wall, teasing him, and sometimes even trying to clean his apartment tho the best of her ability.

But her dark brown eyes barely even moved, only the occasional blink and the steady rise and fall of her chest, signaling that she was, in fact, still alive. Spencer himself hated when people tried to coddled him and pretend to be okay in their standards. He liked these quiet moments.

But seeing Scout in this state, it felt extremely wrong.

"JJ mentioned that Will has been wanting to go out on a date sometime soon. She brought up the idea of maybe you and I could look after Henry for them. What do you think?"

Scout's eyes didn't flicker, "Hmm."

"We could order some pizza, maybe even get some cheese bread? You could even bring some movies you think he might like? What about that new car racing game you just got last month?"

"Spence," She rose her brow and glanced at him, "I'm not exposing a little boy to Grand Theft Auto, it's not a kid's game."

His face fell, "Oh, I - didn't know that."

Scout gave him a sympathetic smile and readjusted herself, leaning against his body and placing her head on his shoulder. Sighing, Spencer placed a kiss on her forehead, pushing her hair back and away from her face.

"Talk to me, what's wrong? What's racing through that hard head of yours?"

She let out a large exhale and sat up, tying her hair up. He watched as she got out of bed, walked directly to the bathroom, splashed her face with water, and came back out. Leaning against the door frame, Scout bit the bottom of her lip.

She wasn't one to open up on how she was feeling. It was a rather odd thing to do and opposite of everything Xander had ever taught her. But sitting in front of her, she could tell that Spencer was trying his hardest to get through to her.

"It's been a week, Spencer."

"Since the school shooting?"

She nodded, "How the hell am I supposed to move on after that? I mean, I was there. I saw the look in his eyes. He wanted to die and if I hadn't looked away a that one moment, then maybe he might still be alive."

"You can't change the past, Scout. Dwelling on what you could have done won't bring him back. "

Heading straight to her bag on the floor, she dug through the extra clothes she had brought with her and found the manila folder that she had stashed at the bottom. She flipped in open and threw it on the bed in front of Spencer.

"Tyler Davis, 16 year old kid who was born and raised here in Virginia. He had two loving parents and a little sister, a tennis team star, was on good academic standing, had his own friend group."

His eyebrows scrunched, "How did you get this?"

"Garcia."

"I'm not surprised."

There was a silence between the pair as Scout went back to grab the file and stared at the picture of the teenager.

"I talked with his parents." She mumbled out with a loud breath escaping.

"And when was this?" His back straightened. "If I recall correctly, Hotch gave you the week off to recover after this case."

Scout shyly shrugged.

"Let me guess -- Garcia, right?"

Another pause of silence occurred.

"What about the other people that died?" Spencer inquired. "What about Officer James Brown? What about that teacher whose class you looked over, Randi Bourne? Or the janitor, Herbert Crowley?"

"Okay, Spence. I get it, I'm becoming obsessive. But I don't what I should do? I can't just forget it and pretend like it never happened. If I could do it again, I'd rather that he shot me instead off himself."

"Is that something that you really could do? If he had pointed that second gun at you and tried to pull that trigger, would you have not defended yourself?"

Scout stayed silent. He was right, she couldn't back down. It was too engraved in her head and body. Of course, he didn't know to what extent but her prior training with the BAU would have said enough.I

"Just -- be thankful that you didn't have to kill him."

Spencer ran his fingers through his messy waves of brown locks, "You -- You'll never be the same after you do."

He swallowed hard, like there was a room stuck in his throat.

"A few years ago, a man named Tobias Hankel kidnapped and tortured me. To be honest, I can't remember how many days I was there with him. After a while, time just seemed to blur all together and nothing else mattered than being in that moment. He wasn't the first person I killed, but it was the one that affected me the most. Sometimes, it still haunts me to this day. So believe me when I say, although this wasn't the best outcome, you being alive is all that I could ask for."

Scout's face fell. She couldn't tell him that she understood the feeling, that she had been there credit before. He couldn't know that she had killed more people that he did, all out of cold blood.

And she never felt any remorse after it.

But that boy, Tyler Davis, he shot himself. Scout had no control over the situation, no power. She wasn't that one behind the bullet. And when he stared at her in the eyes, knowing that she was going to be the last person he saw, she felt more emotion that she had ever before.

Death wasn't something that she could be apathetic towards anymore.

The rest of the day was continuously quiet among the pair of FBI agents. They did normal couple things: watched movies, ate dinner, and occasionally slip into one or two makeout sessions.

After finishing Star Trek for the third time that month, Spencer sat on the sofa with Scout's head in his lap. His fingers played with her mid length hair, occasionally trying to braid it but failing miserably. Each time a knot would form, she would roll her eyes at him but let it alone.

"What language do they speak in Star Trek, anyways?" She mumbled as the credits flew by on the screen.

"That would be Klingon, dear Scout."

Her face scrunched up, "Sounds like an STD."

Spencer stayed silent, watching the dark screen as she eyed him carefully.  Her eyes widened when she realized why the doctor wasn't exactly looking her in the eye anymore.

"Oh no, don't tell me."

"What?"

"You. You speak Klingon, don't you?"

"A small number of people are capable of conversing in Klingon. Its vocabulary, heavily centered on Star Trek-Klingon concepts such as spacecraft or warfare, can sometimes make it cumbersome for everyday use. It is sometimes referred to as Klingonese, most notably in the Star Trek: The Original Series episode "The Trouble with Tribbles", where it was actually pronounced by a Klingon character as Klingonee, but among the Klingon-speaking community, it's often understood to refer to another Klingon language called Klingonaase that was introduced in John M. Ford's 1984 Star Trek novel The Final Reflection, and appears in other Star Trek novels by Ford."

Scout sat up with a bright smile on her face, "Don't you pull that Wikipedia bullshit on me, Doctor Reid. You can't distract me!"

He raised his hands up defensively, "I may — know a little bit of Klingon."

"Oh good, so now you can tease me in a different language and I wouldn't be able to understand."

"Aw," Spencer patted her shoulder cheekily, "I can already do that with you, Scout. All I have to do is use big words."

Scout narrowed her eyes at Spencer and he returned the action.

"I'm going to give you to the count of three to run, Reid." She said in a whisper.

"Can you even count that high?"

"That's it!"

Spencer immediately jumped up off the sofa with Scout hot on his heels. She let out a rippling laugh and chased after him into the bedroom. When she ran inside, she looked around and found the room to be empty.

She paused, "Huh? Spence?"

"Big brain energy!" He yelled out from behind, wrapping his arms around her body, picking her up, and throwing her onto the bed.

The pair laughed together until their chuckles subsided to small giggles and then comfortable silence. Spencer stared down at Scout, his body pinning her down and his hands wrapped around her wrists.

Scout smiled. There wasn't room for anyone else in her mind at that moment. Spencer Reid, with his lips and hands and body, they dominated every recess in her brain, and every part of her body.

Her head leaned up to his, placing a soft kiss on his lips.

He gave into the softness of her lips around his, wrapping his arms around her small frame as her fingers played with the hair on the back of his head. It was a kiss that could flatten mountains down into the ocean and cause the stars to rumble in the sky. It was a kiss that could cause angels to fall and demons to weep. It was a passionate, demanding, soul burning kiss that could cause the Earth to be knocked off its orbit.

All of a sudden, her body had become very greedy for physical contact – the kind of physical contact that she knew Spencer could give her. She did not know why – she had gone over two years without a man, but, now, she couldn't live without it.

He was, without a doubt, the best that she had ever had. Of course, his competition was skimpy – she had only ever had two different experiences, and one of them had been a virgin when they met – of course, so had she.

But Doctor Spencer Reid knew his way around the female anatomy. Very well. Exceedingly well. Breathtakingly well.

Spencer got up immediately from the bed and turned on the volume of the television to the maximum. She inquired with watchful eyes but he ignored them as he pulled her back into his arms, starting to kiss her quickly.

He began to divest her of her clothing without speaking, his lips silencing all of her words until he moved to take her shoulder in his mouth.

"Why did you want the sound up?" She asked breathlessly, watching him as he suckled on the curve of her shoulder.

He lifted his head and grinned at her. "Because I want to make some noise."

A mischievous smile crossed her face. "Why? Are you going to scream?"

"No." He grabbed her beneath the arms and lifted her off her feet, her back still against the wall.

"You are."

She did.

"Oh, wow."

Scout laid her head on his shoulder, trying to regain her breath. Somehow the couple now found themselves on the floor next to his bed and Spencer grinned, feeling the carpet burn on his back.

He chuckled, and kissed her cheek.

"Good?" He sounded breathless, as well.

She nodded. "Yes. God, yes."

"Bed?"

She nodded again, and, with his hands beneath her bottom, he carried her there, laying her down and stretching out beside her. She snuggled up to him, her head on his chest, and listened to his heart as it slowed to normal.

"This job, does it ever get easier?" Scout mumbled, slowing trying to stop herself from slipping into slumber.

Spencer hummed, "No, it never does. Eventually, you just start to feel yourself become numb to it all. And then you can't help yourself from looking back and wondering just how you got to that point."

She yawned, trying to cover her mouth with her free hand but struggled.

"I don't — I don't want that," Whispering out until it formed into another yawn, "Sometimes, hmm, I still wished I worked - in the mailroom."

He stared down at her, face contorted at the new information she had said while half awake.

"Do you want to quit the BAU?"

Now with eyes closed, Scout finally fading off, "I can't."

Spencer laid there with the slumbering girl in his arms, soundly asleep. Though he prides himself on his brain and it's quick thinking, her response left him stumped.

Why couldn't she?

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AUTHOR'S NOTE:
two updates in less than 24 hours? who am i??