I Don't Quite Remember 《On》

The weather outside is cloudy with some drizzle once in a while.


There hasn't been any sun for the last week, actually.


The mood is somber.


And in all honestly, it frustrated that silver cat On by lot since she has a deadline to make another song to be performed next week, yet she couldn't compose any good songs.


The mood is not cheerful enough...


'What if I'm unable to come up with anything till the end?'


It would be their father's death anniversary soon... and yet she has nothing to shared with him?


Great.


Now she's depressed.


Whining as she rested her head on the piano, two hands were placed on each of their shoulders soon.


She could smell the scent of cirtus as well.


Smiling as she realized who's visiting, On turned her heads to be greeted with her two younger brothers and her uncle.


"Take a break, On. You seemed distressed"


Choi Han offered his niece a cup of lemonade.


One that tasted the exactly same as the one that their late Grandpa Ron would usually made for their late Father Cale.


"Thank you, Uncle. And nice to meet you guys again, how was your tours?"


The three of them are successful artisans.


Raon with his magnificent paintings and Hong with his indepth poets.


On, herself is a world known pianist and songwriter.


It has been like that for the last century.


By now, the only people from their inner circle who's still alive are none other than the four of them...


Unfortunately, the others have passed away from various reasons.


The four of them are the only ones alive to live up their legacy.


Which is exactly why, On is saddened that she couldn't think of cheerful lyrics nor melodies that could represent their joy.


"Well, I mean, there are times that we're not happy as well, noona."


Raon started, trying to cheer her up.


"Dongsaeng is right"


Hong smiled at her as well.


"Why don't you try to write whatever you're feeling right now? You shouldn't be pressured with the very thing that you adores... remember why did we pick these 'hobbies' on the first place?"


Raon wanted to capture the moments.


Hong wanted to reenact the memories.


While On?


She wanted something a bit different.


'I choose music to represent my emotions'


Because that's how Cale used to.


That red-head who often had a hard time to express himself, sometimes turned to music to tell the world how he feels.


'Me too...'


Staring at her hands after putting the empty cup down, she just remembered why she chose piano instead of anything else.


"What am I feeling now..."


She mumbled before gulping thickly.


What she is feeling now is a storm.


The type of storm that's quite yet forming a typhoon that swept away anything nearby...


This emotion of hers has been sticking with her lately.


'I... I want to give it a try...'


And with that, her long delicate fingers began to dance across the keyboard.


You're my lowest low and highest high
Would I have chased it if I knew
Losing you meant I'd be half alive
I see you every time I close my eyes
But the image is discolored now
Like a photograph that's fading over time


The three men were quite as they listened to her silent cry.


They're listening to the hard truth that they themselves don't want to hear.


The truth that they don't want to ever face.


Everything fades over time...


And it hits me then
I don't quite remember
How your skin felt on my skin
I don't quite remember
All the little angles of your smile
It's been awhile
Thought that I'd always remember
But I don't quite remember


Raon and Hong immediately feels tingle of regret from actually encouraging their noona to do this.


And now all of them got hurt as they were to meet with harsh reality.


Even with pictures and poetry... they couldn't reenact the exact memories.


They couldn't keep the feelings intact.


On how their family comforted them when things gets hard.


On the way they'd caress their backs or heads to praise them for their achievements.


On the way they'd uniquely smiled.


...and only now that On reminded them of the bitter truth that they realized that what they have right now has mostly been fabricated or sugarcoated.


When I think I'm ready to move on
I find another trace of you
A corner of my mind you still can haunt
I'm scared deep down that might be what I want
To keep a little piece of you
Convince myself that you're not really gone


The four of them had tried.


To live happily and move on.


But the latter is something that they could never do.


Not when they kept anything related to their family dearly on their Villa and Black Castle.


They preserved their keepsake, which in return only hurts them more every time they sees every little reminder that those happy time would never be able to get repeated...


But it hits me then
I don't quite remember
How your skin felt on my skin
I don't quite remember
All the little angles of your smile
It's been awhile
Thought that I'd always remember
But I don't quite remember


They couldn't remember...


The way Eruhaben and Ron would pat their shoulders or heads.


The taste of Beacrox cooking or Alberu's cookies.


The loudness of their ever chaotic family...


They couldn't remember the shape of Cale's smile.


'I thought I'd always remember...'


They were mistaken.


During the day, I'll be alright
But it's a different story at night
I get lonely
You're not here to hold me
So I curl up in bed like I always do
Wrap myself up in my memories of you
But now lately
They're getting hazy


'No, Stop. Please...'


Raon wanted to beg as his tears started to gathers on his eyes, ready to fall anytime soon.


After all, what she's singing right now is exactly what he's suffering on daily.


The thoughts of him would be left behind by everyone... including these three last remaining of their family.


It pained him.


A whole lot.


In the end, he couldn't lie to himself as he let his tears fall to the ground.


That black dragon already past 100 years old yet he's still the Crybaby the four of them knows.


And it hits me then
I don't quite remember
How your skin felt on my skin
I don't quite remember
All the little angles of your smile
It's been awhile
Thought that I'd always remember
But I don't quite remember


By the end of the song, On could be heard sobbing softly.


Raon is crying on Choi Han's embrace, while Hong turned around as he silently let his tears of sorrow falls down.


It was a rainy day outside when they realized that none of them were truly okay...

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