Doubts

She slammed onto the floor, trying her best to not to scream as her stomach stopped somersaulting and almost gagging from the amount of dust that was sifting from the ceiling and walls like snow, Jade peered through the brightness of the day. So when she time traveled she wouldn't necessarily travel to the same time that she was at in her own time. That was probably for the best though since it would be hard to find Petra's grandfather at five in the morning.


With only one glance around the room she was sitting in, Jade knew she was in a type of attic. It looked so different from Erik's nice little room, with furniture everywhere covered in white blankets like ghosts. There were at least a hundred mirrors in the room all reflecting her into the other so that when she peered into just one she saw a million of herself.


She stood up and brushed the dust that had settled on her. She only had thirty minutes to find Petra's grandfather. Walking through the inch thick dust, leaving footprints she walked to the door. She held her breath until the dust had resettled leaving another half inch covering her from head to toe. She turned the door nob that led out of the room, not expecting it to actually be unlocked, but it swung open nonetheless leading into a dust free hallway.


Glancing both ways as she checked for random people who might see her and think she were a thief, she hurried to the stairs. She finally made it into the alleyway without being caught and gave a sigh of relief. Now all she had to do was find any person off the street and ask them where the time traveler lived. Petra's grandfather was famous, his name was Alastair McClair. Being the only time traveler in a century, was important to a lot of people, a lot of powerful people.


"Hey," she said gently to a little girl with two blonde pig tails in her hair walking by. The little girl looked up at her and she continued, "Do you know where Alastair McClair lives?"


She nodded fervently and pointing down the street she said, "It's the large blue home. You can't miss it. There's a line all the way down to the viceroy's home."


"Thanks," Jade smiled, groaned inwardly as she took the first steps towards the blue home. How would she pass all of the people, waiting in line for him? In fact why were there people, waiting in line for him? From what little she knew about the man, he wasn't the type of person to entertain people with his power. She thought that he was a reserved man who liked his privacy.


Suddenly someone grabbed her hand and jerked her off the sidewalk and into a dark alleyway, squeaking with red eyed rats. She hadn't been there five minutes and she was already, breaking her promise to Drake!


"Grroff," she tried to say, but a hand was covering her mouth.



"Jade, it's me," the hands were lifted from her face and arms. Now that she could see, she was shocked to lay eyes on the younger Damien smiling at her. He seemed to be around the same age that of when she saw him last.


"Damien," she hissed, "what the hell?"


He continued to smile as if she was the very person he wanted to see at that moment. He was wearing the exact same clothes as from the train ride, except that he now had a small hat shielding his face. He looked elegant, very handsome. With a deep laugh, he said, "I apologize. I was just so surprised to see you so soon. I mean I honestly just got off the train and was heading towards - but never mind that. What are you doing here? And how did our little test work?"


"Um, wow," she managed and after blinking hard a few times, replied, "I'm here to see Alastair McClair. You know, to find out more about my time traveling. As for the test it looks like I can't change the future or past at all"


"Right," he muttered, but he wasn't looking at her, but rather out the alleyway. He seemed anxious, finicky by the way he was pulling at the edges of his sleeves and scraping the heel of one of his shoes along the ground. "He's a popular man."


"Well, it was nice seeing you again," she laughed, "but I really need to see him."


"Thing is," he said finally turning his attention back onto her, "he's not here."


"But there's hundreds of people waiting for a mile out side of his front door," Jade said slowly. Was he lying to her face?


His smile faded slightly, "Are they there now? They'll be waiting for a long time then. He isn't home, but I'd be more than happy to show you where he is. I know him quite well actually, although," he gave a short laugh as he said, "I can't say he likes me all that much, but once he knows who you are, he'll be jumping out of his shoes from joy."


"Really," Jade said, loosing all doubt and slipping into a smile again, "that'd be so amazing. Thanks!"


"Anything for you, my dear," he said flashing his white teeth at her in a grin. "I do have to warn you that it is quite some distance from here so you best get in my car and I'll drive the two of us."



"An important man like you doesn't have a chauffeur to drive you about?" She said following him out of the alleyway.


"Of course there is that option," he smirked, giving her a sideways glance, "but I enjoy driving, something about the speed; I suppose. Do you drive much in your time?"



"Well," she said, walking faster to keep up with him, "actually for the past few months I've been living in a world without cars and before that . . . well I never had the money." She felt suddenly awkward.


"Wanna drive," he laughed, he said gracefully skipping over the awkward moment.


Her eyes widened, "No, no, no, no I actually want to get there in one piece."


"Oh, I'm sure you'd do just fine," He said, putting a hand on her back to guide her through the masses of walking people. Many of them stopped to stare at him, a few reached out for him, plenty asked questions, and almost all of them took out a vast variety camera devices.


"Just ignore them," he said softly into her ear, hurrying her along, "not much further."


"Miss Lyra," one reporter sad shoving his way through the wall of people right next to her, "Miss Lyra, if I could have just a moment"


"You have the wrong-," she began with a frown. Damien laughed at the reporter's mistake and then gently hushed her and opening a door to a very expensive automobile for the world they were in, quickly helped her in. Thankfully the car was a model that was enclosed, some in this world were very open, but this was more of a modern car, similar to ones for modern worlds. He shut her door and then made his way around the car to the driver's seat next to her, where he started the engine and pressed after shifting gears pressed on the petal, beginning to move the car forward. The people parted, making a clear path for them and Damien sped the car up.


Jade laughed as the car zoomed along faster and faster. He glanced over at her with a smile, "He's out in the country."


"Really?" Jade said, letting her smile die, "How far out? I do need enough time to get back."


"About twenty minutes," he said sucking in air between his teeth, "but that's if we drive the speed limit," and he pressed harder on the petal, making them streak past the world even faster.


"You are experienced at driving right," she said, clutching the handle on the side of her door so tight that her knuckles were turning white.


"Very," he said confidently, glancing down at his watch, "but it'll still be fifteen minutes. You have thirty, correct?"


"Yes," she answered, "but I spent about six and a half before I ran into you."


"Mmm," he murmured making a sharp turn onto a thin old road that led out of the city and into the country, "should we risk it?"


"Most definitely," she replied, "I need answers as quickly as I can get them."


"And how long had it been for you since we met last?" he asked, not daring to take his eyes off the road at the speed he was driving.


"About two days," she sighed, watching meadows of green grass filled with black and white specks of sheep, fly by.


"Something upsetting you?" he asked, sounding concerned.


"No," she muttered, "just wondering how it is you changed so drastically in seventeen years."


"Right," he sighed, "well hopefully Alastair can give us answers that we want to hear, like I can change my future."


"Maybe," she thought out loud, "but that would change so much if you did become a better man in the future."


"For the better, I hope," he nodded, glancing nervously at his watch again.


"It's just not something I think should be messed with," she mumbled to herself as the car jerked up and down on the old road.


"So what exactly is happening right now in your time?" He asked casually.


"What do you mean?" She asked, shifting to face him, suspiciously.



"Like, why are you here in Monorail? It didn't sound like I was with you from what little you said," he said with a yawn.


"Why do you ask?" She said, biting on her lower lip.


"Just trying to make conversation," he laughed nervously as he made a sharp turn to the left.


"I'm sorry," she said, putting her hand to her head, embarrassed, "I keep forgetting that I can trust you since you're not the Damien I know."


"Trust me-" he trailed off, "to not do what?"


She watched him flex his hands, which were resting on top of the steering wheel nonchalantly and answered, "Well, in the future you might try to stop me from making this trip if you knew what time I had come from in the future. You already know that it's in seventeen years-"


"Stop you why?" He asked softly. Now he was pressing his lips together,


"I - you don't allow me to leave your home," she answered, almost to quickly. Was he trying to control her?


"You don't have to be afraid of me," he said, almost as if he was hurt.


"How long has it been?" she asked anxiously, wanting to leave his car. Was Drake right about yet another thing? Had Damien always been the same man? Was he trying to trick her somehow?


"Twelve minutes," he answered her, "I really think we should go back."


"I have ten minutes left," she sighed, "that is if you add the time before you found me and the time it took us to get to the car. I guess we should."


He slowed the car to a stop and looked at her compassionately, "I'm sorry, Jade. I really am. I'm sure next time you travel he'll be home."


She nodded with a sigh as he turned the car around and sped off back towards the city. Putting a hand to her head, she realized how terribly she had failed. Drake wouldn't be pleased nor surprised. She felt stupid even though it was by pure chance that she had landed on this very day and time.


"If it makes you feel any better," he added from her side, "I'll mention you to him, whenever I see him so that when you visit him. He'll already know your name and you won't have to wait in line."


Smiling she replied, "Yes, thank you."


"Jade," he said her name slowly, sounding out each letter, she shifted further into her seat so that she wasn't so close to him. She knew that she could resist his mind control if she tried hard enough. "Don't shy away from me," he pleaded, "from what you've said I've come to understand that I'm a terrible man in the future, but . . . that's honestly not me now! What have I done to loose your trust since the train ride?"


She sucked in air through her lips and rubbed her eyes. Why was she beginning to feel more and more apprehensive? Then the answer blazed into her thoughts in Erik's voice, "Since Damien had her entire apartment burned to the ground." "A lot," she began slowly, " has happened since I saw you last. I've learned more things about you. Each is more terrible than the last and I can't help, but feel that you're still trying to manipulate me! Or control my mind!"


"I won't bother you again if I see you then," he said gently, "if I make you this uneasy. I guess I just thought we were something like friends. What can I do to prove it you?"


Jade thought on that. What would Drake suggest? "Stop the car," she said suddenly and he obeyed her without a single question. "Look at me."


Damien's pale brown eyes with those pitch black pupils, veered onto her as he pressed his foot onto the break. "Yes?"


His eyes were so innocent looking as they rested on her unblinkingly and the further she stared into their depths the more and more she realized just how wrong she was about him. Drake had yet again infiltrated her own beliefs with his doubts. "I'm sorry," she muttered, "I'm being a fool. Of course you're different. People change."



"Don't apologize to me for heaven's sake! I should apologize a hundred thousand times for what I will do to you," he looked down at his watch, "About twenty seconds until. I'm truly sorry I couldn't get you back into the city. Will you be able to manage? We're very close."


"It's-" she began, but suddenly was pulled from what felt like out of her very own body and slammed into the cold ground. It was still dark and she wasn't sure where she was at all. How could she have been so utterly stupid? Why was it so damn cold? She didn't even know which direction to walk in. She was still too far away from the city to see its light. All she was sure of was that she was on a road facing either towards the city or country.


So with very little options she sat down, trying to keep warm until dawn. Somewhere in the distance a pair of lights flashed.

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