Sacrifice

"You can have anything in life if you will sacrifice everything else for it."


― J. M. Barrie






The next day, Natsu was at Kenta's hideout before sunrise. The healer had kept his word and did not run away. Natsu knew too well, getting threatened by Erza could make most people give up the idea of disobeying her.


He had explained the situation to Happy, who agreed to keep this as a secret from Gray. Then it was time to get to work. While Happy watched with worry, Natsu laid on the hard slab, vaguely shaped to contour the body, and Kenta strapped him down.


"Is that okay?" the healer asked as he adjusted some of the thick belts.


Natsu hated feeling confined, but he figured this was a small price to pay for Gray's happiness. "I guess," he muttered, testing his arms and legs, making sure the restraints were tight but not so bad as to cut off circulation.


"Now, before we begin, I have this stone," Kenta said, reaching into his pocket. "Little blue fellow, you take this stone." He handed Happy a similar smooth rock. "If you grab it and squeeze it, I'll be alerted. Only do that for emergencies, like if he really has to use the bathroom, if the restraints snap apart, if he passes out, or if he begins to vomit blood."


"What!" Happy screamed.


"Boy, you'll need to wear a mouth guard. I saw too many people bite their tongues on this thing." He went to a sink to wash the mouth guard. "I need to warn you: it is painful. Don't try to hold it in."


Natsu's brow tightened. "What do you mean?"


"I've heard large men scream like little girls on this thing. It's that bad."


Happy gulped hard and looked at Natsu with worries.


"If it's painful," Kenta went on, dabbing the mouth guard dry, "no one can hear you. Let it out. Internalizing it can be worse for you."


Natsu shifted around to get more comfortable. "I've been through pain," he said determinedly. He heard a whimper from the Exceed. "It'll be fine, Happy. Although, this bed is uncomfortable. Don't you have a pillow or something?"


"Oh. I guess I could give you this." Kenta took a throw pillow from a nearby couch and tucked it under Natsu's head.


"Ah, better," he smiled.


Just then, there was a knock on the door.


"Okay, that's them. Open your mouth." Natsu did, and Kenta fit the mouth guard inside. "I will start this on the lowest setting, so you can feel it turning on. It'll gradually increase. You'll feel tingling, then a stabbing sensation, then ... well, it'll hurt," he warned, pouting that he once again had to harm one person to save another. "I'll shut the door. There are two doors here, that way any screams from this room won't reach the patient in the other room, even if I have to leave your friends to come back here."


"Hey," Natsu called out as the man began to leave. His words were garbled by the mouth guard. "I'm serious, don't tell Gray I'm doing this. He's mad enough that I saved his ass. I don't want him to refuse treatment just because I'm saving his ass again."


"Understood," Kenta nodded. "I must say, Fairy Tail really is something, to go this far for your teammates."


"Because Gray's also my friend," Natsu muttered. "He better appreciate this ... stupid ice princess."


Kenta just laughed and went on to the main room, shutting the connecting doors. He opened up just as Erza knocked again. He opened the door; the three Fairy Tail wizards stood on his porch.


"My apologies. You arrived sooner than I expected."


Lucy wheeled Gray in while Erza went over to Kenta. "Is everything prepared?" she asked with eyes that demanded to be told how Natsu was doing.


The man began to sweat nervously. "Y-yes, everything is ready and ... um ... comfortable."


Gray glanced over from his wheelchair. "Comfortable?"


Kenta floundered with stutters at what he could say, but Lucy quickly rescued the scene.


"He means you'll be comfortable. Now, we need you to get up on this table. Up you go!" she said with a cheerful smile.


He shifted his body from the wheelchair to the strange bed, and Lucy grabbed his paralyzed leg to help lift it onto the bed. Gray kept up his usual sangfroid attitude. However, deep inside, his heart pounded with hope. If this worked, he would no longer need to rely on others just to move around. He would ask Natsu to burn that damn wheelchair.


"Where's that flame-brain, anyway?" he asked as he settled in.


Lucy and Erza shot one another wary glances.


Gray scoffed in annoyance. "Stupid idiot goes running all over Fiore looking for this place, and he can't even stay around to help out."


"Gray," Erza scolded quietly. "Natsu was busy this morning."


"Doing what?" he grumbled. "I bet he ran down to the beach to go swimming ... moron."


Erza slipped away. "Kenta, restrooms?"


He glanced over and saw the stern look in her eyes. "Ah ... um ... lady's room is through this door."


Gray chuckled. "You have a men's and lady's restroom?"


"Believe it or not," Kenta said stiffly with indignation, "this used to be a respectable medical clinic, and I was the head doctor."


"Perhaps it can be that way again, if you change your ways," Erza told him.


Kenta sighed and looked around at how his little clinic had fallen since joining the dark guild. "It would be nice, I suppose. Helping people again, healing the sick and poor. Beats imprisonment."


Erza went through the first door and into a tiny hallway, no bigger than a broom closet. Kenta had explained that, in order to keep sounds from reaching the patient, both doors and all of the walls were soundproof. There was a trick to the two-door system. The first door had to shut before the second door could be opened. Sure enough, as soon as the first door closed, the second swung outward. This room felt much warmer, but she figured that was due to Natsu's natural heat.


The Fire Dragon Slayer was strapped down on the matching bed. It was awful to see him like this, but he had persistently volunteered. At least Happy was with him, although the Exceed looked worried.


"Are you okay, Natsu?" she asked.


He sounded sleepy from waking so early to get here before Gray woke up. "Yeah, I'm here. Bored. Uncomfortable."


"What's in your mouth?" Erza could barely understand his words.


"Mouth guard," he muttered through the gag. He glanced over to her. "Gray's here?"


"He's getting settled in." She walked up to the bed and looked at the straps and probes stuck on his body. She sensed the dark magic that seemed to purr around the device, like something living, waiting, and hungry. "I'm really worried about this machine. We don't know how it's going to react to you."


Natsu scoffed through the mouth guard. "I'm a Dragon Slayer. We have lots of magic in us. I'll be fine."


"I sure hope so. If not, let me know right away."


"I have a comm-lacrima to let the healer guy know," Happy said, showing her the stone.


"That's reassuring." She looked down at Natsu again, truly concerned for him, and stroked back his pink hair like the worried older sister she often tried to be. "Don't be stubborn. We can rotate turns. We can even call in other people from Fairy Tail. You know everyone would be willing to help out."


"No. Gray can't know about this. If more people know, it'd be easier for someone to let it slip out, and then Gray will know," Natsu said, struggling to talk. "If he finds out this is powered by our magic and life force, he won't want to continue treatment."


"I'm afraid you're right," Erza sighed. If it was her—if people were risking their lives to help her—she loved Fairy Tail, she knew she would do the same in a heartbeat, but to be the receiver of those sacrifices really was difficult to accept. "Let me know if it's too much. When you need a break, tell us."


"Yeah, yeah," Natsu muttered petulantly.


Erza stroked his hair back one last time with sisterly worry, and she finally left the room along with Kenta.


Natsu gave a sigh. He kept telling himself, not much could be worse than opening his Second Origin. That was something torturous that he suffered through to gain the strength to help Fairy Tail be the strongest guild in Fiore. Now, it was time to bring back one of their strongest members.


A few minutes later, a different side door opened, and Kenta walked in from the outside cold. "We'll be starting soon," he warned. "Remember, this room is soundproof. Scream if you need. And kitty..."


"Happy," the Exceed corrected.


"Right, Happy. Don't use that stone unless it's an emergency. He'll scream, expect that. This is really going to hurt, I'm not kidding, but if it's too bad, you have to let us know. Perhaps we need a codeword," he mused. "Something you can say when it's truly too much."


"Stupid ice princess?" Natsu offered with a smirk.


Kenta chuckled. "Something you won't say so easily."


"His name, then," Natsu said. "If I shout his full name, it's too much. Not just Gray, but Gray Fullbuster."


"If you can remember to shout that when it's truly unbearable," Kenta nodded. "Do you understand, Happy?"


"Aye," the Exceed nodded. "Don't message you unless he vomits, goes unconscious, the restraints break, or he says Gray's full name."


"Right, because it will be agonizing, and he will be screaming. I'm serious, scream and let it out," he told Natsu. "Don't try to be brave. I've done this many times, I've seen what this can do. When you scream and don't internalize the pain, it helps the body to endure longer."


"I don't normally like screaming from a little pain, but I definitely do want to endure until Gray's healed," Natsu said in agreement.


"I'll start really low today, but I'll slowly increase it. The treatment will last only three hours."


"Got it. I'm all fired up! Let's do it," Natsu grinned.


Kenta left through the side door again.


"Natsu?" Happy frowned. "I'm scared. Is this really okay?"


"What would you do if Carla was hurt and lost her tail?"


Happy's mouth dropped in a sharp gasp of horror. Carla's lovely, silky, sweet white tail that Happy always wanted to pet, just a little bit. "I ... I'd do anything to help her get it back."


"Exactly," Natsu nodded. "I may fight that perverted stripper all the time, but I'd do anything to bring back his leg so he can do missions with us again." He stared up at the ceiling as he waited for the inevitable pain. "Anything," he whispered. "If it's Gray ... to heal him ... I'll do anything!"


Happy pouted as he saw the sadness in Natsu's eyes mix with stubbornness clenched in his jaw. "Natsu," he whispered, but Happy said nothing more.




Kenta walked back into the main room of the clinic. "Are you settled in, Mister Fullbuster?"


"Yeah, I guess so," he muttered, laid out on the metal bed with a pillow under his head.


"Are you ready for this?"


Gray's mouth twisted up. "It's not painful, is it?"


"I told you, there will be a little tingling, but it shouldn't be agonizing, no more than having your foot go to sleep and then waking up."


"Ugh!" Gray frowned. "That's pretty painful."


Kenta laughed stiffly and turned away. "Not in comparison," he mumbled under his breath.


The tenseness in his eyes showed his worry about how the donor would suffer. He was used to the way his dark guild did things. Normally, someone would seek him out with a teammate who was severely wounded in battle. He would have with him two or three victims, sometimes the people they had recently been fighting. Their lives were forfeit. They were victims—nay, sacrifices—to the dark guild. They would have been killed anyway, so Kenta had to keep them alive long enough to power the machine. Often it took the victim's life. Sometimes, especially if the victim was a wizard, they survived. If they were that fortunate, their luck was not for long. They were a dark guild, after all. Kenta only asked that they execute their prisoners away from his clinic.


Now, here were these teenagers from a light guild, optimistic, hopeful, eager to give anything for one of their own. He read a quote once that magic was not giving away from someone else, but giving of one's self with no expectation of getting that sacrifice back. These people were true magic users.


While Kenta walked over to a control panel set against the wall that separated the two rooms, Lucy went over to Erza and whispered her name, questioning silently how Natsu was doing.


"He's fine," Erza whispered back.


Gray heard and looked over. "Huh? What are you girls talking about?"


"Ah, nothing," Lucy said sharply.


"Ready?" Kenta asked.


"As I'll ever be," Gray sighed in boredom. "What is that you're messing with?"


"The machine's control panel. It controls this and the ... um ... other half," Kenta said awkwardly.


Gray wondered why he had stumbled over his words. "What other half?" he asked sharply.


Lucy came to the rescue again. "The battery. It takes a huge battery. It's in another room because it's ... loud."


"Oh, okay," Gray said, leaning back down.


Lucy cringed at that. "Battery?" she whispered, hating to think of Natsu that way.


"Shh," Erza warned. They could not upset Gray, not at such a delicate time in his healing.


"Okay, let's start her up." Kenta flipped on some switches and turned a knob just a little. "How's that for you, Mister Fullbuster?"


"Well, fine so far," he decided. "I feel a tingle, but it's in my lungs."


"Yes, it tends to work on internal organs first and eventually works on extremities. I heard you had damage to some organs. That will be fixed. It'll work it's way down to the thighs eventually. Lucy, you said you can direct magic flow. How about we do that?"


"Nah," Gray said, relaxing into the feeling. "My lung has been hurting for months, especially in the cold. If this can fix my lung too, I'd like that. The leg can wait."


Lucy cringed as she thought about how Natsu was powering this, but Gray sounded so nonchalant. Erza put a hand on the blonde's shoulder and shook her head. If Gray needed his lung fixed too, they might as well get it healed.


"A little more," Kenta said, turning the device up a fraction. Erza saw him checking the stone in his pocket. He nodded in satisfaction before turning it up a tiny bit more. "That's all I dare do for today," he muttered. "Now, we sit back and wait."


Gray laid there, feeling the warm, buzzing tingle in his chest, but otherwise he was ready to drift off to sleep. Kenta sat silently, watching the control panel, sometimes checking on the stone or walking over to check on Gray, but everything seemed to be fine. An hour ticked by.


Lucy finally leaned over to the redhead and whispered as softly as she could. "Erza, I'm worried about ... the battery."


She was worried about Natsu, too, although she had been silent the whole hour. "I'll check." She got up and walked to the door again.


Gray jolted from a drowsy nap. "Bathroom trip again?"


"How are you doing?" Lucy asked so he would not worry about Erza.


"I'm fine. Bored out of my mind, though. Maybe I should bring a book to read next time."


Lucy tried to smile, but she looked to the door and the other room, where she was sure silent boredom was hardly the problem.




Erza entered the connector hallway and waited for the second set of doors to open. She realized just how good the sound proofing was when those doors opened and she heard screaming.


"Natsu!" she shouted, racing in with dread.


"Arrrrrrgh!" Saliva was dripping out of the mouth guard as he thrashed against the restraints.


Erza put her hand on his body to hold him down. "Natsu!" she screamed. "Dammit! We need to turn this off."


"No!" Natsu bellowed. He huffed through the pain. "Don't. Don't turn it off. I'm ... aaaaaaaaaargh!" His body arched as the veins in his neck stiffened out.


"Natsu!"


"Just ... hurts a bit," he huffed. "Kssss ... hurts more than I thought it would."


"Natsu," Erza cringed. "I'll tell him to turn it down..."


"No!" he yelled. Natsu tried to calm himself. "How's Gray doing?"


"He's fine," she said, rubbing back his hair. This time, the pink strands were drenched in sweat. "Apparently, it's working on his lung and intestines first."


"His ... guts," Natsu panted. "That's ... good. I remember ... cauterizing ... arteries in his ... g- ... guuuuts! Rrrrgh! Ah! Dammit!" He gritted down so hard, only the mouth guard protected him from biting his tongue or cracking his teeth.


"Natsu?"


"No! No, it ... it's fine." He twisted around, trying to fight the pain. "When we were ... in ... rarrrgh ... E-Edolas ... Wendy and I ... were strapped in ... in ... a thing. Old guy ... King ... F-Faust?" he asked, too tormented to remember names. "Yeah. Faust. He strapped us to something. Sucked our ... grrrrraah ... our magic out. It hurt just like this. Almost ... dammit ... exactly like ... this. Ugh, gyaaaaaw!"


"Natsu," Erza said, holding his cheeks. They were no longer fiery and soft; they were sickly cold and sweaty. "We should switch places now."


"No!" he shouted, and Natsu looked up into her eyes. "I can take this. If you suddenly disappear, it won't be good."


Erza struggled against stinging heat in her eyes. "Natsu..."


"It's fine," he sneered, and suddenly Natsu collapsed down. "It's ... fine, Erza. It's fine." He gulped hard. "Just ... gotta get used to it. That's all. Play through the pain, right? I've been through worse. Drink?" he asked.


Erza saw a bottle of water nearby, removed his mouth guard, and poured some into his mouth. He swallowed needfully. When some dripped out of the corner of his mouth, she gently wiped it away. Then she poured some of the cool water on his head and slicked his sweaty hair back.


"Please," Natsu said, and his eyes opened out of their agony to look at her with determination. "Don't tell him. Please, don't let him know about ... about this."


Erza realized, now that she saw how bad it could be, Gray definitely should not know. She nodded in agreement. Then, realizing she was only making Natsu try to act brave, she put the mouth guard back into his mouth and left the room. She returned to the silent, sleepy room where Gray was dozing off. It felt surreal in here, knowing that just another room over Natsu was in pain.


More time passed. In one room, it was boring waiting with nothing more to do. Lucy summoned Lyra to play music for them, and Gray laid on the bed smiling contentedly. In the other room, it was like a torture scene from Hell. Natsu thrashed against the restraints and screamed as magic was sucked out of him at a horrific rate. The only thing separating these two extremes was a single soundproof wall.


Natsu began to sound raspy and looked truly sick. Happy went over to the bed.


"Natsu?" he whimpered.


"I'm fine, Happy," he said weakly. He did not even have the energy to move anymore.


"You're not fine," he insisted worriedly. "You're going pale."


"It's ... fine." Suddenly, his eyes widened in shock, and his body collapsed flat.


"Natsu?" Happy asked in dread.


"No, it ... it stopped."


Happy looked up at a clock on the wall. "It's been three hours."


"Has it?" Natsu sighed with a light, weary smile. "Feels like all day."


The door opened again, and Erza walk back in. "Natsu?" She pulled the mouth guard out and saw stab marks where his sharp canines had pierced down into the plastic.


He looked over with a weak and half-insane smile. "Hey, Eeeeeerzaaaa." Her name dragged out wearily on his lips.


"You look like crap."


"Yeah," he laughed, staring off and barely conscious. "I feel like crap." He sounded like he was trying to make a joke, but his words were scratchy coming out of his throat. "Ooh damn, that sucked."


"Tomorrow, I'll take over. You can sit with Gray and relax."


"No!" he said, the sleepiness gone. "Look, Erza, I ... I don't think I can walk. If Gray sees me, he'll know I was up to something. If we're both like this, he'll figure it out real quickly." He panted as he struggled to stay conscious. "I don't want him to know how we're healing him. I don't want him ... to s-suffer ... knowing we're sacrificing this much."


Her mouth dropped in protest as she realized what he was saying. "Natsu!"


He glared at her, pale with fatigue but with a glint in his eyes that seared any arguments. "I'll do it!" That was all he could manage. He fell back down flat and stared at the ceiling. "Tell him I left. Tell him I went home."


"He's already mad that you're not around. He thinks you're goofing off."


"That's fine. If he hates me, that's fine. Anything is fine," he said, barely aware of what he was even saying anymore. "You and Lucy ... protect him." He rolled over to look at her and begged her with all the sincerity he had. "Please! Protect him."


Erza shook her head. "You can't..."


"I'll handle it!" he shouted angrily, but that only weakened him more. He fell flat down again. "Just ... don't let him find out. I don't want him ... to feel ... g-guilty. This is my burden. Mine alone. I couldn't get to him in time. I was there, I saw him get shot, and I couldn't get to him. He almost died ... because I wasn't quick enough."


"That was not your fault," she yelled.


"I couldn't protect him!" Natsu shouted in rage. He looked at her again with tears in the corners of his eyes. "This is my way of making up for it. I need to do this. It's the only way ... the only way I can forgive myself."


Erza saw such sorrow in Natsu's gaze. She knew she should protest, but this look ... she had felt this strongly about protecting her friends many times. She knew the feeling well, and she knew Natsu was too stubborn to budge on the matter.


"I'll stay here," he decided firmly. "I'll make sure this bastard healer doesn't leave. I can rest up here in the clinic. Maybe he can even heal me some. When you bring Gray back tomorrow, I'll stay in this room. Gray must never know I'm here."


"Are you sure about this?"


"Absolutely," Natsu glowered in stubborn determination, yet his scratchy voice was fading. He had to swallow hard to ease the raw ache.


Erza shook her head, knowing in her heart that this was a bad idea. "I don't like it."


"Hey, it's not fun for me, either," he chuckled weakly, "but it's the only way. We can't ever let him know. Tell Lucy, too. Gray must never know we did this. I don't want him to suffer guilt and depression ever again." A silent tear slipped down his cheek. "I can't handle seeing him like that. Hearing him say he wants to die, seeing the pain he's been suffering all these months, all that mental agony eating away at him, and that ache in my heart as I constantly blame myself ... this pain is nothing in comparison!" he sneered. "So don't let him know. He can be as angry as he wants at me for ditching you guys, but I never want him to feel suicidal again. Never!"


Flames flickered in his mouth at the fiery conviction. Erza was relieved to see that he still had some spare magic within him. The machine had not sucked him dry. His strong feelings infected her and made her proud. Natsu and Gray fought all the time, but she knew deep in her heart that their rivalry only made their bond that much stronger. They might be polar opposites, but they were best friends. There could be no summer without winter, no heat without cold, no Natsu without Gray.


She stroked back his hair and smiled down at him. "I get it," she said gently. "Still, if it's ever too bad, just let us know. I don't like to see you in pain, either."


"Sure," he nodded. "Keep him happy, okay?"


"I'll watch over him for you," she promised. "Happy, Natsu is in your care."


"Aye, sir," the Exceed said with worry saddening his large, round eyes.


"Don't be an idiot," she scolded the Dragon Slayer.


Natsu grinned brazenly. "You know me!"


"Exactly," she snapped. Still, despite her worries, she leaned over and kissed his forehead. "Take care, Natsu." Then she turned and left the room.


Happy walked over to the bed and leaped up beside Natsu. His face was caught somewhere between apprehension, anger, and asperity. "You're not doing well at all. Why didn't you tell her the truth?"


"Because she can't do this," he said quietly, staring up at the ceiling in weakness. "I can't let this happen to Erza, or to anyone."


"Natsu..."


"It'll be okay, Happy. And Gray ... he'll walk again. Everything ... will be ... okay." He grinned to himself, but then he immediately passed out.

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