"That's the worst way to miss somebody. When they're right beside you and you miss them anyway."

― Pittacus Lore

Natsu walked into the hospital room. It was quiet except for the beeping of machines and the steady breaths artificially pumped into Gray's lungs. He saw Juvia in a chair pulled up close to the bed, sitting next to Gray and holding his hand. She looked up with tired eyes.

"Natsu!" she whispered in surprise.

He smiled passively at her. "Hey, Juvia." Natsu nodded down toward Gray. "How's he doing?"

Her eyes turned sadly down at the unconscious, raven-haired man. "The same. Gray-sama hasn't woken up."

Natsu walked up to the bed and gazed down at the pale face. Those taped eyelids, the wires, the tubes ... it was too much! Still, he knew he needed to be here, to be with Gray and support him in any way he could.

"Hey, um ... I wanna talk to him," Natsu said awkwardly.

Juvia reluctantly let go of Gray's hand. "Okay." She stroked those fingers as she slowly rose, and then she left the room to give Natsu some privacy.

Natsu sat where she had been, in a hard and uncomfortable chair warmed up by Juvia's body, but otherwise a stiff and cold place to sit. For a minute, he merely gazed down at that sleeping face.

"Hey, droopy-eyes," he finally said. "Sorry for chasing her out. I don't like being in here when someone else is in here. It makes me feel like I have to watch what I say, what I do, and even ... how I feel."

The truth was, he did not want others to see how deeply this sight—Gray so close to death—affected him. He let out a deep sigh. Then his voice tried to turn cheerful.

"Hey, I was talking to Happy today, telling him stories about the two of us when we were kids, before he was born. I told him about this one mission, we were probably eleven or twelve. Maybe you remember. It was this thief. Instead of stealing cool stuff, he kept stealing cheap jewelry, like bead necklaces, friendship bracelets, and those plastic rings you get at carnivals, all this really crappy stuff. It was all cheap junk, yet he kept stealing them, and no one could catch him. He must have been a hell of a thief, except he was stealing stupid crap.

"Anyway, for whatever reason, Erza was insistent on taking the mission. None of the adults wanted it. I mean: Plastic Necklace Thief! Sounds so lame, so it was up to us kids to find him. She dragged the two of us along. We were arguing the whole way there; Erza got pissed off at us so many times. Neither one of us wanted to be there, but Erza was scary even back then, wasn't she? We didn't dare disobey her."

Natsu let out a sigh and watched the monitors, the bouncing green line that showed Gray's heartbeat, the billows pumping air into his lungs, and the saline drip keeping him hydrated.

"You saved me," he whispered. "I don't know if you remember that. I just barely do. It wasn't just that he was stealing plastic. He could change it. He had this piece of theater costume jewelry, and he made it into a massive diamond necklace with magic. So cool! He offered to make us rich if we'd let him go. We couldn't, of course. Even if it was cheap stuff he could have bought for a few Jewels, we still couldn't let theft go unpunished. So then he attacked us. He turned Erza's armor into lodestone, and she magnetized to some metal until she couldn't move at all. She wasn't as good at Requipping armor back then; she mostly just did weapons. Then, he tried to change my scarf."

Natsu reached up and stroked the white muffler. He had to clean Gray's blood out of the material after that fight. It was all white again, but somehow, it was like he could still sense a bit of Gray's essence soaked into the material.

"You knew how precious this scarf is to me, and you jumped in the way. He couldn't turn flesh into other material, so your clothes started to turn into gold. It weighed you down, and you fell hard. Then, typical of you, you just stripped out of those clothes in an instant. You fought him, and he kept aiming for you. Every time something got hit, you just threw it off. Your shoe got hit, you threw it off, your pants got hit, you stripped out of them, until finally you were totally butt naked."

Natsu laughed at the memory, but hearing nothing in return—seeing no smile or anger or anything from Gray—saddened him.

"That's when ... when you managed to knock him out," Natsu muttered. "I was so pissed. You were the one who saved me. You save Erza, too, and ... and that just pissed me off, that you did that."

He looked at the pale face, wishing for some response. Natsu stroked back a strand of black hair that had slipped out of the headband keeping Gray's hair back. The strand had landed near the tube shoved down Gray's mouth and into his throat, so Natsu gently brushed the hair aside.

"You're probably going to be pissed about this: me saving you," he said softly. "Well, this is just payback, just ... just ... getting even with you. For back then. I owe you. That's all," he whispered sadly, letting his fingers stroke along the forehead.

The skin was so cold. He wondered if he should keep holding Gray's face to warm him up. His fingers drift down toward the icy cheeks. Then suddenly, Natsu yanked his hand back and wiped aside a tear.

"Dammit," he hissed, angry that he was getting emotional again. "You know, that day, that mission ... I really hated to think about it. It was so annoying, watching you fight when I was too scared, fearing my scarf would be turned into platinum or something. That really scared me. And there you were, stripping off all of your clothes. I let my scarf be a weakness. You have no weakness. Well, not with clothes, at least. And ... it made me envious.

"Oh! And then," he said in excitement, "after he was caught, you got to keep everything that was yours. Oh my goodness, you ... you had all this money suddenly," he laughed. "You looked like such an idiot when the Magic Council guards suddenly returned all of your clothes, this box filled with solid gold clothing. Your eyes went huge! I remember, you sold that solid gold shirt to some noble for an outrageous amount. And your pants! Your shoes, someone even bought the socks. You even sold your underwear! Damn, what sort of pervert buys a kid's golden boxers?"

Natsu cackled, but still there was no response from Gray. As funny as the memory was, seeing Gray not responding felt like a stab to his chest.

"I ... I was so jealous," he said softer, saddened that this funny memory was not fully being shared. "And then ... you took that money and ... and you moved out on your own. We were still just kids, but you suddenly had the money to move out of the orphanage and get your own place." His head dropped. "That was when I really got mad ... and envious ... and I hated you, because ... you weren't around as much anymore and ... and it wasn't as much fun. So I started saving up. I wanted to move out, too. I couldn't afford anything in the city, only that cabin. Then I lived there with Happy, so it wasn't as lonely. But ... I wanted to live in my own place, because you got to move out first."

He shifted around in the uncomfortable seat.

"That whole mission back then annoyed me so much, but ... but it doesn't annoy me anymore. It's just funny, a nice story to tell. A story about us. One of our crazy adventures from when we were kids ... growing up ... together."

Natsu's fingers slid along Gray's cold cheek, and his eyes softened with sadness.

"When did those memories stop becoming so annoying?"

He wanted to remember Gray's laugh, his voice, the way his fist felt so cold as he punched Natsu. He wanted to remember all those adventures they had, and all the fights, all the challenges, every brawl. Those memories were truly precious.

Suddenly, he realized he was caressing Gray's face in a weird way. Natsu yanked his hand back in shock.

"Man, what am I doing?" He laughed softly in awkwardness. "Sorry. Why am I saying sorry? Could you even feel that?" He patted the cheek, not hard, but enough to get a sound of slapping flesh. "Hey, Sleeping Beauty, can you even hear me?" he called out. "I'm talking to you, idiot, and you're not responding."

He sighed and glanced away. He probably should not be slapping Gray like that, not with all the tubes and hoses and wires.

"Maybe you can hear me," he muttered. "Maybe, somewhere in that frosty brain of yours, you're struggling to come back. Even if you can't understand what I'm saying, maybe ... just hearing my voice ... maybe that's enough."

He reached down and laid his hand over Gray's fingers.

"Hear me, Gray!" he pleaded. "Listen to my voice and come back to us."

He squeezed the fingers. Then he picked the limp hand up, held it with both of his hands, and squeezed his fingers around the frosty touch. Natsu leaned his head over their combined hands in prayer.

"Please. I'd do anything. Just bring him back to me. I just want him to wake up. I ... I wanna hear his voice, and argue like normal. I just ... want him ... to come back."

He let out a heavy sigh. If there was a god out there, he wanted a miracle. He stared at Gray's face, and he hoped, with all of his heart, that his prayer would be answered.

"I'd do anything to have him back," Natsu whispered ardently. Then he let go of the hand and gently set it back down. "I'm not really all that religious, but ... it doesn't hurt, right? I don't know what else to do or say," he admitted with a weak smile. "Maybe I should ask Mira and Lisanna. They're religious and stuff. I know they're going to the cathedral to pray for you. Lisanna invited me to come with them. Maybe I'll go next time. Couldn't hurt, and perhaps it'll do some good."

He pulled away and stood up from that uncomfortable chair.

"Well, I just wanted to tell you that story. Happy and I were talking about it. I figured I'd mention it. So..."

He reached down and caressed Gray's cheek again. His brow furrowed tightly with all the emotions he was bottling up, all the fear and sadness and guilt. Natsu's teeth clenched, and he leaned over close, holding those cheeks to force his burning emotions into this cold shell of a body.

"Seriously, wake up. Okay? Just wake up," he whispered angrily. "Your dream can't be all that interesting. Wake the hell up! I hate coming here and seeing you like this. I hate going to sleep terrified that I'll wake up to hear you died in the night. I hate this! So wake up. Come back to us."

He let go of the face and stood up again. Maybe his words would reach into that comatose mind and pull Gray out of whatever abyss he had slipped into.

"I'll send Juvia back. She likes to stay by you, y'know. She's always here. We ... miss you. All of us." He patted Gray's limp hand again. "Well, see ya around, stripper."

Then Natsu walked away. He paused by the door and looked back, hoping that maybe Gray would sit up and make a snarky remark about getting overly-emotional again. Instead, it was just the even breaths, the beeping machine, and the silent body lying under a white sheet. Natsu's head dropped, and he quietly left the room.

***

It was raining. Natsu heard the drops on his roof, tapping a chaotic cadence on the shingles. A low roll of thunder woke him. He was ready to just roll over and go back to sleep, but there was a glow in his room.

"Happy?" he mumbled, thinking that maybe the Exceed had gotten up to use the bathroom.

He peeked open his eyes and was stunned to see Gray standing over his bed.

"Gray! What are you doing here?"

Gray smiled sadly at him. Natsu stared at that melancholy face in confusion. Why was he not saying anything? Where was this light coming from?

"Gray?"

Those cold lips parted, as if about to speak, but instead he silently turned aside.

"Gray, what is it? What's wrong?"

Then he realized Gray was standing here, in his room. He was awake!

"Gray! Wait a minute, you're ... you're here! You're up. You're..."

No ... his feet were not touching the ground. The glow was under him, around him, and Gray's feet strode a hand's-width above the wooden floor.

"No," Natsu whispered, shivering in dread. "What? No way..."

Gray paused and looked back again. He smiled plaintively yet silently, then lifted a hand in farewell.

"No! Gray!"

Natsu tried to scrabble over his bed. He fought the cocooning sheets that tangled his legs and held him back.

"Graaay!"

Gray turned and walked away. The light around him got brighter and brighter, blinding Natsu.

"Wait! Nooooo!"

***

Natsu bolted up in bed screaming, a hand reaching out to the fading vision of Gray leaving eternally.

In a nearby hammock, Happy yawned. "What's wrong, Natsu? Did you eat something bad?"

Natsu had sweat on his brow, and his muscles were shivering with adrenaline. He looked around the room. It was dark, the rain tapped noisily outside, and the clock read three o'clock in the morning.

Was it a dream, or a premonition?

"Gray," Natsu whispered.

He leaped out of bed, threw a coat over his pajamas, yanked the white scarf around him, and ran out, still barefooted and without an umbrella. He raced down the hill, guided by smell alone since there was no moonlight, nothing to light up this dark rain. He panted as he ran through the town, feeling like he was still in a nightmare. The rain seeped through his coat, drenching his pajamas, and his bare feet splashed in puddles. Finally, the hospital loomed ahead. The emergency room was still open, so he ran inside there.

He leaped right at the lady at the reception desk and slammed his fists down, dripping water all over the place. "Gray Fullbuster, Room 54. Is he okay?"

The nurse looked utterly confused. "Sir, visiting hours..."

"I don't want to visit him," Natsu shouted. "Just please ... he's been in a coma all this time. Is he alive? Please, just have someone check on him."

"Do you have reason to believe his life is in danger?" she asked skeptically.

"I ... I don't know," he gritted in frustration. "A dream. A really horrible dream. I know it sounds stupid, but please. I just need to know if he's okay."

She sighed, but she picked up a communications lacrima. "Is this a post-op nurse? Yes, this is the ER front desk. The patient in Room 54, can you make sure he's okay?"

She waited, and Natsu drummed his fingers in nervousness.

Finally, the nurse perked up. "I see. Thank you. No, it's just a worried friend here in the ER. Yes, he knows about visiting hours. Some people just really need to know that their friend is okay. Yes, thank you." She hung up and smiled to Natsu. "Gray Fullbuster is still comatose. He had a slight problem earlier tonight and required an operation on his lung. It's called pleurodesis, and it's meant to help heal his collapsed lung. The operation was successful, and he came out of surgery half an hour ago. It took some time to stabilize his blood pressure, but he is in recovery and doing well."

"Are you sure he's alive?" Natsu asked, still feeling his heart racing from the nightmare.

"The nurse checked. His breathing and heart rate are fine. His blood pressure is low, but that's to be expected for someone in his condition. We'll know more in the morning. Now, please get some sleep, sir, and dry off before you catch a cold. You may return during visiting hours."

Natsu slumped in relief. "Thank you. Uh ... sorry if I was acting weird."

"I've seen far worse, sir," she smiled. "Please, do get warm before going back to sleep. There's a nasty cold going around."

"Staying warm isn't a problem," the Fire Dragon Slayer muttered. "Thanks, really."

He slowly turned away and left the hospital behind, walking out into the downpour. As the adrenaline faded, deep sleepiness started to wash over his body. He dragged his bare feet along the rain-soaked streets, not at all looking forward to the long hike back to his house.