If it was one thing Priscilla hated, it was being embarrassed and being on the butt-end of someone's joke.

Just for reference, I'm going to bring you guys back to the summer before junior year.

It was a couple of days before my mom had decided to send me to rehab, the final day of classes. A tradition at our high school was a bonfire to kick off summer vacation. Everyone from each grade was invited to come, freshmen usually opting out.

I had just turned sixteen, Priscilla being fifteen at the time, but more mature than any of us at that age.

Okay, I can admit, I'd be on some shit that night.

My dad had just died a couple of months before, so it was probably the darkest time in my life.

Earlier that day, while Priscilla and I were shopping for a new top for her, we met us with some seniors.

We obviously lied to these girls about our actual ages, and they were kind enough to bless us that night with a ride.

Priscilla, being who she naturally was, made a silent agreement to babysit me that night.

She forfeited her drinking privileges, making sure I got home safe and didn't end up in the ocean.

So, let's fast forward.

A couple of Mike's Hard, half a Xanax and three hits of a joint later, the most clear memory I have from that night was sitting at one of the bonfires.

I was surrounded by our usual group of friends, Priscilla and I sharing one of those cheap beach chairs.

Priscilla sat on top of my lap, her legs sprawled out over mine, probably so I wouldn't have the eager to get up and wander.

Harry, a boy we had known since elementary school, slapped his hands against his thighs.

As he stood up, he grabbed his bottle from the sand, taking a final sip before chucking it.

"Aight, I'm officially bored," he announced, obnoxiously drunk, "I vote that we just get it out of the way now, and play a round of truth or dare."

Bebe cheered, throwing her small fists up in the air. "I'm down with that!"

"-Except," Harry interrupted her cheers, "if the person, for whatever reason, refused to answer the question or act out the dare,"

He groaned as he reached over to the cooler, lifting one of the cans of beer from the ice, "they have to chug a 40."

"Alright," "I'm game," the rest of the group began to get excited, sitting up on the edge of their chairs.

Amongst the group of sophomores, juniors and seniors, was Fezco.

He had dropped out earlier that year, during the winter break period, to have more time to care for his grandmother and work.

Quitting school wasn't an easy decision for Fez, but considering CPS began making monthly visits to their house due to his absences, he figured that would be the easier solution than to waste anyone's time.

And even though, he technically didn't attend our school, Fezco was always still invited to the events.

Harry began scanning the six of us in the group, "Okay, let's start with," he spun around, his finger out in the front of him as he came to a stop, "Rue."

"Huh?" I replied to the sound of my name, not having one fucking clue to what was happening.

I began to wander into sleep due to how much I had done that night, the sounds of crashing waves and the crackling of the bonfire, not helping me stay awake.

"Yeah," Priscilla began to tub my thigh, telling me it was alright to shut my eyes, "I don't think she's going to be playing."

She awkwardly laughed as I proceeded to knock out on her shoulder.

"Fine," Harry shrugged, his eyes not leaving the cleavage of Priscilla's small top as he sat back down, "you then."

The young girl's eyes widened, her face beginning to heat up as everyone stared back at her. She knew she couldn't exactly back down, especially since she didn't know what she was saying no to.

Priscilla began to feel an overwhelming sense of anxiety, she knew that her and I were the youngest of the bunch. The night of the bonfire was basically an audition for the oldest class-men to see if we were cool or not, adding extra weight on Priscilla's shoulders.

She had already received side eyes that entire night for being one of the more attractive girl in our grade but also for turning down the alcohol offered to her by the boys.

Priscilla dryly chuckled, pushing her hair out of her face as the wind began to pick up, "Go ahead."

"Okay, okay," Harry nodded, running a hand through his curly blonde hair.

He flashed her an arrogant smile, leaning back in his chair, his legs propped up high, "I dare you to come sit on this lap instead."

Everyone began making inappropriate noises and whoops, encouraging her to take the dare or switch it for something more challenging.

"Oh, come on," Bebe waved a hand at the two, "That's nothing, plus she's already got a seat."

Everyone began to laugh, watching as I continued to snore and drool on Priscilla's bare shoulder.

"Give her something harder," another boy added.

Harry leaned in closer to his friend, nudging him in the gut, "I'm trying to."

Priscilla rolled her eyes, instantly getting the reference to what was in his jeans.

Her eyes caught Fezco's , as he practically burned a hole in the side of her face. His fists clenched the armrests of his chair, alert in case the boy was willing to try anything with the minor.

"Whatever," Priscilla groaned, pushing herself off of her unconscious friend, "that's it?"

"That's it," Harry looked the girl up and down, taking in her small yet curvy figure as he reached his hand out to her.

As Priscilla took it, within seconds she was pulled on top of the older boy, his arm tightening around her lower half.

As she squirmed, Priscilla could feel Harry's grip on her hands becoming stronger. He continued pushing her bottom against his growing erection.

"Kiss her!" Harry's friend yelled out, causing the rest of the group, besides Fezco and an unconscious Rue, to get riled up.

As everyone chanted and clapped, Harry took it amongst himself to plant a wet kiss onto Priscilla's lips.

The girl could taste traces of alcohol and the weed on his tongue as he forcibly held her cheeks in his hand.

As the boy ignored Priscilla telling him to stop and her efforts to push him off of her, the kiss grew deeper.

Priscilla could see a couple of kids beginning to pull out their phones to record the dare.

That's when she suddenly stood up from Harry's lap, the motion causing Harry to topple backwards onto the sand.

Priscilla used the back of her hand to wipe her mouth as Harry began to cuss at her, telling everyone to stop the videos. The girl pushed past the group, trying to conceal the tears running down her face.

"Because Kat, I don't fucking want to, okay?"

"But, it's her birthday," the dark-haired girl argued, following after Priscilla as they stormed the girl's bathroom.

"I understand that," Priscilla opened up the bathroom stall. She practically slammed the door behind her, as Kat began to touch up her makeup in the mirror, "And I love Maddy, but I just really don't feel like going."

"My god, what has been up with you lately? First Cassie, now you, is everyone just going into this depressing I-don't-want-a-social-life tunnel?"

Priscilla leaned against the stall door, her forehead pressed against the metal. Her head began to pound between the sound of Kat's voice and the second bell telling everyone to go back to their classes.

It was back to her normal schedule for Priscilla. Five days a week of school, six of work, barely even giving the teenager her weekends to rest. At first, Priscilla thought that distracting herself this much, was a good thing. Being surrounded by other people, their problems and drama, when in all honesty, she just wanted silence.

Priscilla hadn't reached out to Rue since the week before and had blocked out Fezco completely. She had no idea where to start when it came to her feelings towards him. Priscilla knew that she hadn't been the most perfect girlfriend to him in the past, that she had come with a lot of problems of her own.

But, she never expected him to find interest in someone else.

Priscilla had finally lost her virginity and didn't expect it to come with this amount of confusion.

The girl didn't feel like herself anymore.

She didn't feel as confident, as strong minded as she prided herself to be.

She felt stupid.

Used.

If she had known anything that Rue had told her about Fezco before, of course she would've been more hesitant to lose her virginity to him.

She didn't expect her first time to be the way that it was.

So sudden.

Priscilla always imagined her first time to be somewhere special, like on a beach or a hotel room. Decorated with roses and candles and an overwhelming sensuality filling the room.

Not at two in the morning, with her parents asleep down the hallway.

As she began to experience everything she had wanted to in life, Priscilla realized that most of the time, it was followed by disappointment.

Kat began to knock on the bathroom stall, causing the girl's headache to grow. "We're going to be late."

The blonde ran a hand through her hair, taking in one last deep breath before flushing the empty toilet. As she stepped out of the stall, Kat began to gather her items off of the counter.

"Fine, don't go. But, you know who's going to have to hear Maddy's mouth the entire night? Me-"

"Fine!" Priscilla yelled aloud, startling the teenage girl, "Fine, I'll go! Okay?"

A sinister smile began to spread on the brunette's face, as she clapped her hands together in satisfaction, "Perfect!"

hey
we haven't talked since the other night
i just want to make sure you're good
i just hope you're okay
i'm scared i did something you wasn't okay with
so please just reach out p

Priscilla decided to close her phone, ignoring the following incoming notifications as she continued to get ready for Maddy's party.

As much as she loved to celebrate a birthday other than her own, the blonde continued to dread going to the party more and more. Priscilla regretted ever going to Rue's house that Friday night. Because, not only was her heart shattered from her own relationship dilemma, but Priscilla now knew about what Cassie had been doing.

Priscilla didn't want the responsibility of being the one to tell Maddy about her ex boyfriend and her best friend. She hated knowing a secret that no one else knew. After receiving the truth from her own friend, which practically felt like a punch in the face, she definitely didn't want to deliver that news to Maddy.

Priscilla had no one to talk to about how she felt.

She felt she couldn't go to Rue.

Priscilla had come to realization that she couldn't rely on Rue, not in the same way Rue could her. She was extremely upset with her best friend. Not only
for withholding what was going on with Lexi and Fezco for so long, but for her relapsing as well.

Priscilla hated to admit it, but her friendship with Rue was mentally exhausting sometimes. The constant lying to cover her friend's actions, the babysitting, the worrying and frustration. Rue never listened to Priscilla's advice, when it came to seeking help, or to just stop.

At first, the girl thought she had been doing right by her friend, covering up for her and not judging Rue for her own way of coping with her father's death. But, Priscilla realized that that just made Rue more comfortable and destructive.

It killed her how much her friend didn't care for herself, or the people around her.

Priscilla couldn't go to Fezco, for obvious reasons, or the other girls.

Even though they were her friends, Priscilla didn't feel like having her business become the group's gossip topic for the next month. Priscilla couldn't express her feelings in any form, which absolutely destroyed her inside.

She had never felt so alone.