Hanni POV

Life as an idol is filled with glory and pain all at once. After debuting a couple of years ago, you have risen to popularity, being one of the most successful and talented girl groups in the world. You have won countless awards, and with all the fame and success, you were unbelievably successful.

Many people would die wanting to be like you. But all the fame has its cost—losing your whole social life to your career.

As of now, the public has all eyes on you. You can't slip once, or it will become a scandal. You had to be proper and behave at all times, not being able to drop your "happy" smile for even a second.

If you are sick, you have to keep going...

If you miss your family, you have to keep going...

If you were exhausted to the point of almost passing out... You have to keep going...

All of it with a smile on your face...

Sure, being an idol was all you ever dreamed of, and you knew the risk of what you signed up for. But it was almost inhumane how they would work you to the bone.

As they put through countless hours of hard labor, your social life began to die. You had no time to enjoy your life anymore, always busy with activities, wearing you down.

You haven't spoken to your family in a few months. All your close friends were gone, and the company took away any way to contact them. And your love life... broken...

Y/N was the perfect boyfriend. He cared for you... He supported you... And most importantly, Y/N loved you. He loved you for who you are, "the smol bean with the beautiful smile."

He was the shining light in your career, the person who you trusted with all your heart, and was there to be my number one fan from the very start. You remember having doubts during your trainee days, wondering if you could make it.

———-Flashback———

Another monthly evaluation... 35 trainees were eliminated. Many of your friends that you trained with from the very start were all eliminated in this round of evaluation, you being lucky and scraped by.

They were preparing the debut group of 5 members, and due to HYBE being such a big company, many talented people were able to become trainees. But most of them wouldn't last, with more than 99% of trainees being kicked out of the debut programming for not being ready to become an idol.

As the stress became increasingly higher, and with your head on the chopping block, you were worried that you would be eliminated in the next round.

You remember going to the coffee shop after practice to relax and relieve your stress in peace.

However, even though you wanted to relieve your stress, you could feel the sadness heavily show on your face, unable to hide it. You knew you should put on your mask of emotion, pretending to be okay, but you knew you couldn't. Unlike the usual "Happy Hanni," you were filled with sorrow, with a big frown as evidence.

As you walked into the cafe, the smell of freshly roasted coffee beans filled the air, with the door making a loud chime. As you walked in, you noticed that Y/N was working in the back, helping make drinks while another employee was taking orders.

The cafe was unusually packed today, making your already stressful situation worse. You hoped this place would be nice and quiet like it usually is, but God had other plans.

You met Y/N at this coffee shop, and after a couple of times seeing each other, you guys became close friends, and he slowly became a person you developed feelings for.

You told him about your trainee life and he was very impressed. He was very happy for you and was always there to listen to you practice singing.

Every time he would compliment you, making butterflies fill your stomach.

You didn't know why you liked Y/N so much... You just did... Every time you see him, your heart would flutter, and he seemed so kind towards you...

You sighed slightly that you couldn't talk to Y/N as you ordered your drink and sat at a table near the back.

You pull out your phone and scroll through social media. You notice that many of your close friends posted stories about their fun lives, many of them being happy and wandering around the world.

You also noticed that many of your friends now had a significant other, many posting adorable photos of their lover. It made you jealous... You wished that you were able to experience that.

As a trainee, you were forbidden to have a love interest with anyone. And as an idol, that became a standard. Even if you could sneakily date some, the amount of time you had to work, it just wouldn't work out.

Even as a trainee, you would have no time to even hang out with friends, spending countless hours taking dance & singing lessons while also being forced to take media classes.

You would get to the HYBE building at 6 am, and you would leave to go home at 8 pm; it was exhausting, to say the least. But you did it anyway cause you knew if you didn't, other trainees would surpass you.

As you sat in the chair, waiting for your drink, you could feel tiredness fill your body. You feel your eyelids become heavy. As the exhaustion of your continuous practice, you could feel slumber taking over.

You wanted to get your coffee, but since the cafe was so busy, it might take a while. You rest your head on the table, and you begin to rest, taking a small nap on the table. As your world fades into slumber, you drift off into unconsciousness.

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*CLANK*

You suddenly wake up from the loud sound. With a groggy vision, you look around, and no customers are left, just Y/N placing chairs on the tables, closing the cafe up for the day.

As you lifted your head, fully waking up, it seemed that Y/N noticed that you had woken up.

Y/N: "Finally awake sleepy head?" He asked as he continued to pack up the shop.

Hanni: "Yeah...  Sorry for overstaying. I didn't mean to fall asleep," you said as you rubbed your eyes and bowed, apologizing for any inconvenience.

Y/N: "It's no problem." He said as he cleaned."It's getting late, do you want me to walk you home?" he asked. Late? What time is it? You check your phone, and you notice the time.

Hanni: "10:39!" You screamed as you began to pack your stuff to leave. It was really late, and you didn't want your parents to get mad at you.

You gather your stuff, but you notice a small note on your table and a jacket you have never seen before over your shoulders. Without time to think, you quickly grabbed everything and promptly apologized for overstaying before rapidly leaving.

You rushed home, and you got an earful from your parents. They were worried sick about you, having no idea where you went. They also questioned you about the random jacket you had, but you were also clueless. But after the scolding, you went to your room, and as you cleared out your pockets, you noticed a note.

You tried to remember where it was from until it blanked on you.

"Ah... this was on the table," you thought. You opened the note and read what was inside.

Dear Hanni,

Hey, I just wanted to let you know that you are doing great. You are the most talented person I know, and I know that you are doing fantastic in your trainee programming. I don't know much about you, but you've been looking exhausted and worn out the past few days, and I'm a little worried about you. Please take good care of yourself.

If you ever need an ear, I'll be here for you. As your self-appointed number 1 fan, I'll be there to support you until the very end.

Once again please take care of yourself, and continue being amazing. I know you will be an idol one day, and I can't wait for that day to happen. Good luck, and stay strong!

PS: You can keep the jacket.

Sincerely ,Y/N

You slightly blushed at the nice gesture. He probably gave you that jacket to keep you warm. He's also worried about you, and he noticed that you've been different recently.

Hanni: "He's so cute..." you muttered.

You constantly reread the note, your heart fluttering every time as you hold his jacket close to you. You bounce in happiness as you feel your heart beating fast.

——————-

As you remember those memories, you begin to smile. You remember that you guys started off as strangers and became best friends into lovers. It was a crazy and long ride, but one filled with happiness. However, the ride was nearing the end.

You were happy and in love with Y/N, and you couldn't imagine being with anyone else. But you can feel, as time passed, you began to feel like something was missing.

You didn't have that spark anymore. The feeling of love that you used to have. He used to be on your mind 24/7, but you were so occupied with work, it felt like you forgot about him.

You tried to ignore your feelings at first since you knew that you had feelings for Y/N. You firmly believed that what you were feeling was just a phase. But these feelings you had only grew stronger.

You felt bored and bound in the relationship, and you couldn't shake the feeling. It got to the point where Y/N felt like a problem since he would prevent you from resting after your long day since he would want to chat.

Before, you would love to talk to him, but now, you loathe the idea sometimes, thinking nothing besides wanting to rest.

You tried to push through and make things work. She didn't want to hurt Y/N, but you knew what you felt wasn't love anymore. You fell out...

You knew you were the problem too... Y/N was a terrific boyfriend. The best partner you could ever ask for... but you were the problem... you were selfish, thinking about yourself and not him.

It was sad...

You didn't feel the same rush of excitement when you saw him, and you didn't look forward to spending time with him like you used to.

You only knew one thing...

That you didn't love Y/N anymore...

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This was actually a very spontaneous chapter I wrote. Was supposed to be something else but wanted to include a little bit of Hanni's perspective. Next will be the birthday chapter. Fun fact I was planning for this to be a really short chapter but wow. Ideas just kept popping in my brain and I just wrote them all down. Anyone hope y'all have a nice day.