22.

"Jolene?", he said questioning, as if he didn't know I was real. Did he really just call me by my first name or am I dreaming? I watched his eyes widen when he looked down at my body.

"Are you okay?", Derek said and stepped by side, so I could enter.

"Oh", I said and looked at my bloody clothes again,"I um didn't change yet, but it's healing".

"Then why are you here?", he asked me and closed door behind me.

"I don't know", I said truthfully and watched him move to me until he stood in front of me again,"I just didn't feel like going home now".

"Okay", he said as if he understood,"Why did you run away earlier?". Derek slowly moved to his living room. I followed.

"I was exhausted from the torture", I explained,"I needed blood and didn't want to hurt Stiles, so I drank from strangers, that I wouldn't hurt the ones I care about".

Derek nodded and I watched him sit down on his couch, which made frown. I spoke up:"Are you hurt?".

"Yeah", he smiled shortly,"But it's healing".

"Oh great", I said and realized how lost I was right now. I quickly grabbed myself a cigarette and gave Derek a questioning look, if I was allowed to smoke in here. He nodded. I lit the cigarette with magic and breathed in the smoke.

"What do you mean with 'that you don't hurt the ones you love'?", Derek asked and gave me a sign to sit down next to him.

I felt awkward standing here, so I sat down and faced him:"I saw other vampires killing their own family and then they turned off their emotions".

"I've heard that vampires feel emotions stronger or nothing at all. It makes me wish I could be a vampire", Derek smiled nostalgically.

"What do you mean?", I asked confused,"No emotions and no humanity turn you into a monster. It makes you even worse". He watched me interested in what I was telling him.

"Well it makes us even worse", I corrected him,"I don't wanna end up like this again".

"Again?", Derek asked,"Did you turn your emotions off once?".

"Yes", I explained. He looked me in my eyes and I could tell he wanted to know more so I quickly added with a smile:"I need alcohol for this. Do you have some?".

Derek smiled too and pointed to a cupboard:"There should be some bourbon". I used my vampire speed and grabbed the bottle.

He looked at me surprised, when he saw how fast I was, making me chuckle. I ripped the cap of and took a big sip straight from the bottle.

"I turned my emotions off, because I couldn't live with the betrayal that I had to experience right before my death, before I turned", then I told him everything that I told Stiles one time. I didn't know why exactly I opened up to the alpha, that I hated, but it felt right. Derek even moved closer to me and put his arm around my shoulders as I was telling him my story and we were drinking his bourbon.

I finished:"That's why I turned my emotions off. Why do you want to turn it off?".

"Well now I don't want to turn my emotions off anymore. But back then when I was still in Highschool, I wanted to", Derek spoke up and took a sip alcohol before he was able to continue,"My first real love died, because I tried to turn her into a werewolf. She died in my arms. Back then I wasn't able to live a second without feeling guilty".

"Oh I'm sorry", I said and gazed at the ceiling.

"I never told anyone about that", Derek stated.

"You're the second one I told about my past", I answered,"Seems like we both opened up".

"Hm", he hummed. Now I felt completely lost again like I didn't belong in his loft. Mostly because i felt like he didn't even want me here.

I stood up:"I'm sorry for bothering you. I'll go home".

"No wait", Derek quickly said and grabbed my wirst softly. I faced him. He stood in front of me and our eyes locked.

"You can stay. Take a shower. What ever you need", he explained and added after my confused look,"You drank alcohol. You can't drive like that".

I looked to the floor:"I'll take a cab or something. It's fine really. Thanks for yeah the bourbon and um talking I guess".

"Please stay", he whispered and shivers went over my body,"I wouldn't have let you go anyways".

I decided to stay. Derek gave me a towel and a shirt from him, so I could wash the blood off of my body and get out of the nasty bloody clothes.

I put his shirt on and took a look in the mirror. I was wearing it as if it was a dress, it was so huge on my body. It made me laugh at myself honestly. Overall this situation seemed to be so different and off but then also perfect at the same time somehow. If that made sense.

"Is your wound healed? Peter hurt you pretty badly", Derek asked, when he heard me enter the living room again. His back was still turned to me.

"It's fine again", I answered and he turned around and looked at me. A happy smile appeared on his face, which made me smile too. I never saw Derek smile often. So if he did, I also smiled.

"How is your wound looking?", I asked and he didn't say a word. He just lifted his shirt and I saw the wound from Peters claws, that was already healing. Then his abs caught my eye and they attracted me magnetically. I couldn't help it, but touch his skin gently, making his heart skip a beat.

Derek watched me. He also seemed to be in a kind of trance. His hand touched my cheek softly and he lifted my face, so I had to look him in his eyes. I watched him lean in a bit and whisper in my ear:"Is it okay, if I'd kiss you right now?".

I admired him for a moment before I could answer. The strong and bad alpha is a gentleman in his core. I smiled and answered:"It would be perfekt, Derek".

Our lips collided. The kiss was soft but I could feel the fire Derek had in him and he wanted to use it, just like me. The alpha pushed me against the table and picked me up, making me sit on the table.

His hands ran over my body, making me go crazy. The kisses were great. It was that kind of kissing where you get addicted to, and I did. I wanted everything of him.

So I ripped his shirt apart and my hands touched his naked skin, which sent electric shocks through his body. He hummed pleased, but I wanted more. My vampire side took over and I pushed us with my vampire speed across the room.

Derek looked at me with a smirk on my face while his hands helped me get out of his shirt that I was wearing and revealed my black lace set. Within seconds our lips met again. The kissing was intoxicating as we were walking towards his bedroom.

When we arrived Derek pulled back and just stood there admiring me. But I didn't want to pause things. I grabbed him by his belt and whispered, when our faces were only a few inches separated:"I want all of you".

That's when he finally realized, that he can lose control. Derek grabbed my face and our lips collided hungry, hungry for more.

I opened my eyes and looked at sleeping Derek with a smile on my face. Last night was perfect.

Then I heard someone entering the loft and sat up. I took a look around. We destroyed the bedroom, after we both let our supernatural sides take over.

Derek sat up too and smiled at me:"Good morning".

Before I was able to answer him, I heard Erica shouting:"Derek?! We are here!".

"Oh god I forgot about the betas", the alpha said annoyed,"Sorry".

"It's fine", I answered and kissed him. Derek kissed me back, but then we quickly got up. He put some clothes on and went to his betas. Meanwhile I was searching for my clothes, then I followed him in the living room.

"Jolene?", Isaac said confused,"Why are you here?". Derek and I answered him with nothing more than a smirk.

„Answer me!", Isaac shouted after I passed him and wanted to leave the loft.

I turned around. He was staring to get on my nerves, so I answered unbothered:"It's none of your business".

Before Isaac ran after me, Derek hissed:"If you follow her now, you're no longer apart of my pack".

Then I left for school. And I already had a feeling, that Isaac is going to confront me again.

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