Zhang Hao third person POV

Zhang Hao buried his face back into his hands as he heard the others rush over to him, wrapping their arms around him as his eyes began to water. Before he could control it he broke down letting out loud cries as the others tried to sooth him.

Zhang hao had seen the rumours even before the show had aired when people 'exposed' his 'hetrophobic' post that he made back when he was in high school. After that, it was followed by people digging up his old dance practices, claiming he danced and dressed too feminine. And now, even as the show aired each week, Zhang hao had noticed this continued, with him ranking 5th in the first elimination and his views being way lower than Hanbin despite also being the center.

Zhang hao had only just started to rise in popularity, having won against Hanbin in the tomboy performance, though as the second elimination came up he was still anxious for how popular he really was and what more about him would be exposed. He held onto the others for a while until he felt his tears slowly dry up, glancing up to see Matthew, who was staring at Zhang hao with a frown on his face.

"I r-really like Hanbin, I don't k-know if it's in that kind of way yet but he's already one of my closest friends. I don't want to h-hurt him"

He spoke weakly as Matthew pursed his lips in thought, sitting down next to Zhang hao, eyeing him for a second before a sigh left his lips. Zhang hao felt Keita move away from him, standing back up as he met Zhang hao's eyes.

"Hao hyung are you okay if I leave you with Matthew? I feel you two need to talk without me"

Zhang hao looked back to see Matthew who gave him as weak smile, he then glanced back at Keita and hesitantly nodded, Keita waving at him and leaving the two alone. Zhang hao had never really been one on one with Matthew before this.

He looked back over to Matthew, as Matthew grabbed his head, pulling Zhang hao to rest his head on the Canadian's shoulder.

"Hao hyung I'm not going to get mad at you but can you please answer one more thing for me?"

Zhang hao looked down to his hands as he began to pick at his nails, though he murmured in agreement.

"If you don't know if you like hyung, why do you keep kissing him?"

Matthew asked quietly as Zhang hao felt himself tense up at the almost invasive question. If he was being honest, it was something he didn't know how to answer.

"Well he's attractive.."

Zhang hao mumbled as Matthew scoffed, playfully poking the others head at his childish response.

"I don't know how to explain it Matthew, I find him attractive but I don't know if I like him yet. I've been pushing those thoughts away because I don't want to risk people thinking I'm gay but when he kisses me or we are so close I so badly want to kiss him....ah this is embarrassing"

Zhang hao's words trailed off his he hid his blushing face back into Matthews shoulder, not realising the younger could still see his rosy ears. He heard Matthew laugh at his response and he couldn't help but to relax at the sound. In a way it felt nice to finally tell someone, even if that was Hanbin's best friend that was likely to tell the Korean later on.

"Hao hyung are you sure you don't like him?"

Matthew asked half heartedly, taking Zhang hao off guard as he pulled himself off of the others shoulder, staring at him in surprise, his red cheeks on full display.

"I-I"

Zhang hao spat out, trying to come up with the words to deny his accusation as Matthew snickered, standing up and holding out a hand for Zhang hao who quickly took it, getting up and straightening out his clothes.

"Hao hyung you don't need to know yet, that's okay but please go apologise to him and don't go kissing him if you don't want to date him. I'll come bother you again if you do, okay?"

He teased as Zhang hao strictly nodded, following Matthew outside of the cupboard and back into the darkness of the kitchen, trailing behind the Canadian as they headed back to their dorms.

"The survival announcement is tomorrow, I'll talk to him after, okay?"

Zhang hao asked softly as they reached Keita's room, Matthew nodding before tugging Zhang hao forward into a hug as the older stood still, unsure how to react, still unfamiliar with Matthew's friendliness. After a couple seconds Matthew pulled away and smiled at Zhang hao warmly.

"Have a good night hyung but I better see you and Hanbin acting normal tomorrow"

Matthew pivoted his foot and walked away, leaving Zhang hao to his own thoughts and in some sense, his guilt.

-

I decided to do a more fictional Haobin story called 'lean on me' that's set in high school with Zhang hao as a foreign exchange student so if that interests you go check it out! The first chapter is already out :)