Stupid Author, Stupid Novel

[A/N: Just to let you all know, this will only showing important parts of their stories and some other parts that will be showed on the screen. And there will be novel spoilers so go read it before you continue this fanfic. Sorry if the characters are OOC. Merry Christmas and I hope you all enjoy this story!]


The screen shows a building. A normal building with a bunch of windows.


Shen Yuan: 'This looks familiar...'


The camera then zoom into one of the  windows where a young man in his twenties is sitting on a chair with a computer shining brighter than the sun.


Of course they cannot see the young man's face due to the darkness of the room and his back facing them.


The crowd is interested in the spiritual device that is literally shining on the screen when suddenly a voice spoke from the screen.


"Proud Immortal Demon Way is a YY stallion novel."


"What's a YY stallion novel?" Xie Lian ask, not knowing what YY stands for.


"YY stallion novel is a novel where the protagonist is very Op and is also a hoe that slept with every person they basically came across and take them into their harem." Shen Yuan said out loud, gaining a 'please-don't-expose-me-bro' look from Shang Qinghua


Luo Bingmei's mind went to a possible candidate of the description, Luo Bingge. He still haven't forgot how he came across about 10 woman just by walking into a corridor of the Huan Hua Places and some of them were even his shijies!


"Shizun you're so knowledgeable!" He cling onto his husband while his husband just smack him with his fan.


The screen now shows the cover of the said novel is before the voice continue. 


"In short, "Proud Immortal Demon Way" is an incomparably long, golden finger against the heavens, harem greater than three digits and with character and scene and a protagonist that even girls would like sort of cultivation novel.


It's the year's best stallion novel, bar none!"


"I have to said that Liu Su Mian Hua's Resentment of Chunsan is better than this." Rin said.


Shen Yuan's fan cracked.


"Our protagonist, Luo Binghe doesn't walk the lofty path of happiness. Instead he walk the dark, corrupted path of revenge fill with infinite slaughter."


Wei Wuxian had a small flashback of his Yilling laozhu self where he walked the demonic cultivation path and everyone refuse to accept him back then.


The screen then show a wooden basin flowing down the river 


"It all started with our protagonist was born and was immediately abandoned by his parents. Thanks to the protagonist halo, he was founded after nine cold days by the fishermen that picked him up. Since he was found at the Luo river during winter, he was given the name Luo Binghe.


The harem master and cry baby watched closely when their adopted mother appeared on the screen. 


"A washer woman pitied the child, took him in and  raised his as her own. The mother and son lived on, suffering the bullying of the wealthy. Quite sad if I said so."


Mo Ran, Hua Cheng, Wei Wuxian and Shen Jiu felt relatable at some part. 


"His mother gave him a jade pendant and the boy is very happy. Such happy family-huh? Wait! Don't make the protagonist an orphan again!"


The young boy is kneeling in front of his mother grave, crying. 


Aria then look down to all the protagonists that were looking at the screen with sympathy looks on their faces


'Ah right... they're all parentless!'


"Sad back story, check. Now it's time to find an enemy with a grudge! And who else is better then the Qing Jing Peak Lord, Xiu Ya sword, Shen Qingqiu!"


The little boy on the screen who looks about 14 is currently kneeling in front of his new master. Shen Qingqiu is seen standing with a fan covering half of his face. His facial expression is presented with a scowl that can be easily read by everyone.


Luo Bingge look back at the Shen Qingqiu in the screen full of hatred. 


"Shizun is not a villain, he's a god send from heaven." Luo Bingmei disagree with the label that the description that Shen Qingqiu got.


Xie Lian didn't know whether to laugh or cry.


Mo Ran thought he saw both version of himself at that moment. 


Chu Wanning pity both Shen Jiu and Shen Yuan.


Jiang Cheng: "What the heck?!"


Feng Xin: "What the heck indeed!"


Xue Meng: "A villain?!"


Shen Yuan: 'A scum villain with a sad backstory to be exact.'


Rin: "Keep watching!"


" 'What?! The female disciple that I raised so hard just got taken away just like that, I will abuse you severely!' " the voice impersonate Shen Qingqiu before the scene switch into the young Binghe getting whip by a disciple while the said man just watched. 


Lan Wangji, Wei Wuxian and Mo Ran look at the scene with a 'I-know-how-it-felt' look. 


Aria: 'Maybe we should have a whip club here...' 


"That's not what I sounded like, brat." Shen Jiu know the rumors about him fancy his female disciple, Ning Yingying but that wasn't the truth at all. He treated the girls nicely because he was helped by a girl back then in the Qiu household, in return he spared her when he burn the whole Qiu mansion to dust to be backstabbed by the same person later on. 


"Normally in these kind of story everyone knows no to mess with the protagonist except for the villain but remember no matter how much you hate the protagonist never, NEVER push him off a cliff, because that would be like giving him a scholarship! It's like a blessing to them!" The scene switch as the teacher push his student off the endless abyss, making the boy fall.


Shen Yuan: "Binghe, I'm sorry."


Bingmei: "It's not shizun's fault! Shizun don't need to apologize to this disciple!"


Bingge: "You can clearly see that scum push us off the abyss." 


Shen Jiu: ...


Shang Qinghua: "Scholarship? Really, cucumber-bro?"


Shi Mei: "Shizun, what is a scholarship?"


Chu Wanning: "This master have no clue."


Wei Wuxian: "Lan Zhan, do you think that I earn one of that already?"


Lan Wangji: "Mn."


Rin: "It's like an achievement to us modern people in our study or like a fund to help some students in the modern world. Normally I call this, the 'falling-off-high-grounds-scholarship-for-protagonists' "


The cultivators gave her a weird look.


Rin: 'Not my fault that the protagonists need to fall off high grounds for the plot.'


"When he finally got the scholarshi- Ahem, I mean- when our protagonist got his grudge, he can finally take his revenge! As he unlock his demonic seal- Eh? Where did that seal came from? Anyway, he took the demonic sword, Xin Mo and journey on the abyss. Oh and did I also forgot to mention that there's an elderly demon name Meng Mo inside his head? He also thinks that our protagonist is talented, handsome and one of a kind person. " The young boy have a demonic mark on his forehead along with a sword that is clearly up to no good.


"He killed the Southern demon king and took his daughter, Sha Hualian into his harem. Kill the Huan Hua Master and took his daughter into his harem. Killed his scum master and took his childhood friend-" the scene switched to each event that the voice mention and stop when the suppose scum master is lying on the floor in front of Luo Binghe.


The crowd excluding the SVSSS and PIDW people gasped.


Mo Ran: 'Just like TaXian-jun...'


Luo Bingmei: "Shizun..."


Shen Yuan: *close fan* "Binghe, this master won't leave you again."


Bingge look at his other self with disgust, Shen Jiu look unimpressed. Shang Qinghua look down the floor and cry internally. Mobei-jun is glad that his lord is not like that.


 "-yep, you guess it into his harem. In the end, he have a harem with over 3000 wives."




"3000?! How?! And why do you look so proud about that?!" Mu Qing yelled.


"My wives are smart and beautiful, what's wrong being proud of them?" Bingge said.


Shi Mei look at the demon lord with a blank look. 


Shi Mei: 'TaXian-jun is no better but at least he's not like this lord here.'


Wei Wuxian: "Lan Zhan how do you think that he manage the harem?"


"Do not gossip behind people backs." his husband recite. 


Feng Xin: "I don't want to deal with a second Pei Ming here."


Xie Lian: "Feng Xin, Mu Qing don't be rude." 


Hua Cheng judge the demon lord silently. 


Rin didn't pause the video so the image switch out as the voice continue their monologue.


"In the end Luo Binghe live happily ever after with his harem and Shen Qingqiu suffered from the torture of Luo Binghe." Luo Binghe is shown sitting on his throne with some women on both sides while Shen Qingqiu is looking horrible in the vase.


After that everything turns back into the white scene as the word Chapter 6666 showed up 


Rin pause the video for the cultivators to process the info that they just learn.


Aria: Anyone hungry? The bathroom is on the left behind you people and the food is on the table beside you people.


Wei Wuxian dashed to the table and grab an apple to eat not before his husband took a bite first though.


"Lan Zhan, you were testing for poison right?" 


"Mn." Upon seeing that the young masters are safe from eating the food, they went over one by one. Shang Qinghua notice a few cups of ramens and took one to eat. 


'Even though this food killed me, I still liked it very much.'  Shang Qinghua then ate his noodle in silence after he gave his king another cup though. 


The others took either the tea or the sweet that is serve on the table. They went back to their seat after finishing their business. 


Rin had already passed off from the food that they were eating. So Aria took over as the host.


"Welcome back gentlemen, we'll be watching Scum Villain Self-Saving System next! Just a reminder that we'll be showing some part of your adventure so sit back, relax and enjoy the show!"


[A/N: The author will be passing out now, Merry Christmas and have a good day/afternoon/night! Stay safe!]



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