The crowd carried me outside the airport like noisy blue waves, while I kept myself in a blank state… I couldn’t hear anything around, I didn’t understand why the old lady was yelling at me.. I don’t know how I ended up on the bench and why did that man tell me to take care next time..
If that little girl hadn’t come near, giving me a balloon to cheer up, I wouldn’t have realised I’ve been crying all this time. I thanked her, pinching her cheek shortly before she ran back to her mum who greeted me, nodding slowly.
Time seemed to stop suddenly.. I had no idea what to do, I couldn’t get myself together.. I just stayed there looking at the ground… My mind focused only on his words: “I need you.. I’m leaving.. Please come.. just once..”
I didn’t make it… He was gone.. He left me.. And why? Because I was so stupid to believe my friend.. I listened to her instead of understanding my own heart.. Now that everything was revealed, my entire confidence was shattered.. I couldn’t trust people anymore..
It all started when his travels made things difficult for our relationship. We barely had the chance to see each other more than 3-4 days.. At first, I didn’t mind the situation, since I knew how hard it was for him to be so far away due to his job. I kept supporting him, not complaining about a thing.
But then.. time passed and doubt slowly arose in my heart.. I felt that he had another reason to not stay at home.. I didn’t want to say it, but I really thought he found someone else.. I could sense the coldness in his voice, in his actions, whenever he returned home.. I felt something changed.. I just couldn’t understand why and when it happened.
*
It was already midnight when I finally heard the doorbell ringing.. I stood up and ran at the front door to open it. He came in, kissing my forehead, then he went in the bedroom , dragging his luggage..
I followed him, looking for some clothes to give to him after he’ll get out from the shower.After that I prepared a little sandwich since I knew he probably slept in the airplane and skipped his meal again.
He sat on the couch, closing his eyes.. I put the plate down on the coffee table and sat near him, caressing his hair..
Me: “I missed you!”
“Hm.. I know.. same here..”
Me: “Are you going to stay longer this time?”
“I’ll leave the day after tomorrow.. I have projects to finish.. Ah.. I am going to sleep..”
Me: “You didn’t ask me how I’ve been..”
He turned around, running his hand through his hair, saying he was tired and we can talk tomorrow. I stood up, walked towards him and wrapped my arms around him, resting my head on his chest.
Me: “Let’s talk now.. I need you…”
“Come on.. don’t be such a kid..”
Me: “Please.. just 5 minutes.. stay here..”
“Why are you acting like this? I said we’ll talk tomorrow..”
Me: “You know very well you’ll be gone before dawn.. You give all your time to your job.. Why can’t you also give me these 5 minutes? Our home has become just a hotel room for you.. There is barely time for us to be together.. You continue your work even when returning from your trips..”
“Don’t start again.. I don’t feel like arguing.. I am here.. isn’t that enough?”
He pushed me gently away and head back to the bedroom, not even looking at the snack I made for him.. I changed my clothes, brushed my hair and layed down on the bed, near him, reaching for his hand.. He felt me and turned.. I let out a sigh, while staring at him.. Before closing my eyes, I answered his question: “You’re here Luhan.. but not with me anymore..”
*
I tried to get rid of the idea she just suggested to me, although I knew I also thought of it.. I kept playing with the teaspoon, resting my chin on my other hand, while she continued to talk..
“You know I am your friend.. I want the best for you.. Why don’t you accept the fact that he’s not interested anymore in keeping this relationship alive?”
Me: “I just want to know why? What have I done? What was my mistake? Why doesn’t he want to talk with me, to tell me what’s inside his heart? Why is he keeping himself away from me?”
Friend: “Maybe.. he found someone else.. That could explain all those trips and his behaviour.. He just doesn’t give a damn about you anymore..”
Me: “But.. he could just have told me.. Why would he do this? We could have discussed things..”
Friend: “Sometimes people find it comfortable to start a new story while holding the pen that created the old one.. I think it’s better to just end this game.. You can’t keep pretending nothing changed.. You both are getting suffocated by this bond.. You need to release yourselves. Let it go..”
*
The phone kept ringing for the past 2 hours, yet I did not pick it up.. I layed in bed all day, feeling sick.. The whole room seemed to spin around.. I felt thirsty… there was no water.. and no glass anymore since I knock it down.. great..
I opened my eyes, feeling a warm hand on my forehead and saw him glancing at me, worried. I didn’t hear him coming.. maybe I fell asleep.. He kept calling my name, while I was blinking slowly, trying to see him clearly..
Luhan: “Why didn’t you answer my calls? What happened? Why are you like this?”
Me: “Too many questions.. You don’t have the right to ask even one..”
Luhan: “You didn’t touch the food in the fridge.. were you planning to starve yourself to death?”
Me: “That will be such a relief…”
Luhan: “What are you saying??”
Me: “Leave, Luhan! I don’t wanna see you.. ”
Luhan: “I can’t let you in this state..”
Me: “Like you care..”
Luhan: “Don’t say that.. I love you…”
Me: “No.. you used to.. not anymore.. there is someone else.. I know it..”
Luhan: “You keep on with this stupid idea..”
Me: “Aren’t I right? Your behaviour tells everything.. you’re acting so cold with me.. you keep yourself buried in papers at work, ignoring me..”
Luhan: “Honestly.. I don’t think I am the only one that behaves differently like there is nothing to care for.. I’ll make you something to eat..”
His words stabbed my heart, weakening me even more.. I was the guilty one now?? I was the one that stopped fighting for this relationship? I was the one that preferred to stay aside? If only I was the one to blame.
I tried everything to get things back to normal.. I even let him have his time to reflect and decide what to do, moving in my flat.... I just wanted him to finally open his heart to me.. He interpreted this as my wish to end our story.
Luhan: “I hope it’s tasty.. ”
Me: “Thank you.. I’ll feed myself..”
He put the bowl on the bedside table, then took his bag and walked outside the room, but suddenly turned around.. Our eyes met.. I couldn’t reply to what he said.. I just let my tears fall.. The echo of his words filled up my mind: “I need you.. but I will not force things.. I’ll wait for you..”.. I never came back.. neither did he..
*
The blue ribbon slipped from my hands.. I saw the balloon dancing in the air, getting out of reach.. I kept looking at it, when I realised it was sunset time already.. I was still sitting on the bench in front of the airport..
Just like the balloon got lost in the sunlight, I sank in my sorrow, remembering all these moments.. There was something that filled up the glass.. The phone conversation I heard this morning.. I picked up the receiver to make a call when I heard my friend speaking to someone..
I can’t believe she did this.. Her evil laugh still resounds in my mind.. Every word she said is now a wound of my heart…
Friend: “I finally did it… He leaves today.. ”
Voice: “I see.. Should I say congratulations? I guess the path is clear now.. That’s your chance to enter his life..”
Friend: “I will.. step by step.. I’ll be closer to him..”
Voice: “I still don’t get it how did you manage to separate them..”
Friend: “If you plant the right seed you get exactly what you need.. I just made both of them believe they were cheating on each other… nothing too difficult since my stupid friend already had this doubt.. I struggled to convince him though..”
Voice: “Are you satisfied? You just ruined a family..”
Friend: “Don’t start.. I was supposed to be his love but she got in the way…”
Voice: “Ha.. you just wanted his fortune.. You don’t know what is love.. Otherwise you wouldn’t have played with my feelings..”
Friend: “Ah.. come on.. you’re just my buddy.. there’s no way I could possibly look at you..”
Voice: “You know what? I pity you.. Having to recourse to such dirty methods to get someone.. You don’t deserve to be happy… And you won’t… He will never look at you, mind my word.. Because she’s still inside his heart.. You will not be able to make him forget her.. And there will be no chance for you to enjoy his money..”
Friend: “You bastard!”
*
The stars kept smiling at the earth, while the moon embraced it with its pale light.. Planes kept landing or departing to another world, people were swarming here and there, animating the atmosphere, but not my soul..
I stood up, holding my bag.. I wanted to get back home.. hm.. home.. for me, this word sure lost its meaning.. I looked at the sky once again, then I turned to call a taxi when I saw someone standing near the bench attached to the one I sat on for the past hours..
He raised his hand, touching his face as if he was wiping his tears.. Seemed like I wasn’t the only one defeated by destiny.. He took a deep breath and turned to look at the moon, startling when our eyes met..
The next seconds felt like years.. I thought my heart stopped beating and I was now seeing my dear ones for the last time.. But it didn’t seem like an illusion and I was convinced it really wasn’t, when he touched my face, gently caressing it.
I was still shocked when he took me in his arms, hugging me tightly, crying. I kept spacing out, not able to grasp the situation. His sob brought me back to reality.. I looked at him, while wiping his eyes, asking him to calm down..
Me: “Shh.. Luhan.. please.. stop crying.. don’t be a baby..”
Luhan: “Ha.. look who’s talking… then why are you crying?”
Me: “Because I am a damn stupid..”
Luhan: “Me too.. I shouldn’t have let things like that.. I should have fought for you.. for us.. It’s only my fault.. Forgive me..”
Me: “No.. don’t blame yourself.. I should be the one asking for forgiveness because I didn’t trust your love.. ”
Luhan: “Neither did I..”
Me: “Luhan.. please believe me.. there wasn’t anyone in my life..”
Luhan: “Things are clear now.. ”
Me: “What do you mean? Did you…”
Luhan: “I know everything.. Her friend came at the airport.. If it wasn’t for him.. I would’ve probably been in the plane right now..”
Me: “I arrived too late today.. I could have lost you.. I would have stayed alone, while you would have chosen another flower..”
Luhan: “No.. never.. because I am yours.. now.. and forever!”
____________________
Hope you liked it! Thank you for reading! Please continue to love and support EXO! God bless you