It’s hard for a rose to shine in the middle of a cruel storm, bond to destroy the last weak hope slightly attached to a fragile soul. However, everything can change when out of nowhere a helpful hand will gently protect the little flower..
I never liked people who kept trusting in dreams that will never come true, instead of moving on and doing something that can be more meaningful. But, life decided to help me realise that every destiny gives its unique colour to this world, even if some people need more time to shine. It all began when I met him..
I was already in my 2nd year of highschool in Korea. A lonely soul fighting to be recognised in a total different world. My father’s job opportunity changed everything: my dreams, my will, my feelings towards others.
I always wanted to be a good student and make my way to a great university that will allow me to fulfil my dream of becoming a professor. I wanted to be the change. I wanted to give another definition to the word ‘education’.
However, daddy decided to ruin everything, even if he could have just let things like that, cause this job was as good as the one he already had.. I mean… why should people live their lives as other tell them?
I’ve always respected my family, but they never supported my dreams. My parents were against my wish of teaching other people. They thought that nowadays being out there in the middle of all those stupid cameras was the big thing; they wanted me to be a celebrity, an idol as some say…
Ever since I was a kid, my mum would drag me to photoshoots, beauty contests and stuff like that, daydreaming to one day see me on stage receiving awards and all that crap. I would have rather stayed at home and enjoy a good book on a sunny afternoon. But I never complained about it, because thanks to my parents I had everything a kid needs and I hoped that some day I’ll be living my dream..
I can’t tell you how much I hated those stupid fake girls showing off in front of the camera. I couldn’t be like that.. I also hated the way I looked.. my skin was fair and I had a nice figure. Why this hatred? Because thanks to that, people would do everything to show me their envy. Add the fact that I was the best student during my school time… you’ll now picture the whole idea in your head..
Anyway.. here I was, trying to understand and embrace a new culture, working hard to learn a new language, while pleasing my mum and auditioning to become a trainee… my ‘luck’ shined: I did became one..
Already a year passed since then, yet I didn’t really like this, cause I couldn’t keep up with my school activites. And I just saw my dream fading slowly in the thick fog of an uncertain destiny, while I was stuck in a life I didn’t ask for.
But, there was something good in all this: I got a new friend, probably the only true friend I’ll ever have: Kim Joon Myun, the most stupid scared little boy you’ll ever see.. I’m telling you, this guy would freak out about everything.. I once found him in front of a training room, crying slowly..
This wasn’t one of my best days and I acted like a total stupid.. I did something that a true friend would never do.. that is a lesson to remember.. I asked him what happened… He replied: “No one is here! I think I’ve missed class!”
Me: “Yah… Joon Myun.. this class was cancelled, dumbo!”
Joon Myun: “But why? We have to train. How will we be able to become great artists if we don’t work hard? ”
Me: “Well.. most artists have talent..”
Joon Myun: “Don’t start!”
Me: “What? Everybody told you this already! You’re really losing your time. Five years have passed, yet there’s no sign that you’ll get in any group. You keep believing in an impossible dream.. You should do something that can really help people.. You should fight for something that matters..”
Joon Myun: “At least I struggle to fulfil my dream.. You’ve forgotten yours already.”
He was damn right.. While he was doing something, I just silently let others guide me. But, I wasn’t lucky enough to have support from my parents as he did..
Me: “Yah.. don’t drive this conversation into my direction..”
Joon Myun: “I am your best friend and I know exactly what’s happening in your heart.”
Me: “You know nothing.. There’s no one who can understand my feelings.. not even you..”
Joon Myun: “You’re losing hope.. that’s not what I used to see in you.. I always thought you’re strong enough.. don’t do this to your self..”
Me: “What else can I do? I am not the rich one which has the luck to do whatever he likes..”
Joon Myun: “Don’t be like this..”
Me: “I am.. I’m sick of all.. I can’t stand the fact that I live my parents’ dream, I can’t stand that people don’t mind their own business.. I can’t stand that you are so lucky.. I.. I envy you.. I.. really hope you’ll never be able to become a singer.. why can you live your dream and can’t I?”
I stopped realising what I’ve just said.. I looked at him worried, feeling guiltiness slowly stabbing my conscience… He smiled patting my shoulder, while I kept apologising.. I just hurt my best friend because I couldn’t accept the fact that I was a coward.. I thought it's easier to do this than to fight for my own dream.. I would never forgive myself..
*
“Good afternoon, teacher! Have a nice evening!”
Me: “See you tomorrow! Take care!”
I waved to them, until they took the school bus.. Well.. another day that ended good.. I put the books inside my bag and smiled at the trees that kept dancing slowly to a mild tone of the wind.. Since I didn’t have much to do at home I decided to go in the park nearby..
I felt so happy seeing all those people hanging around, laughing, chating, living the moment.. I sat down on a bench, thinking about some new ideas for my classes..I don’t know when did time fly so quickly.. It was already dark when I realised I was still there.
All those memories disconnected me from reality.. I looked at my watch, then took my scarf and wrapped it around my neck, getting up and heading to the park entrance, when I saw someone walking slowly near the lake..
Don’t know why, but I felt I should keep looking at that scene, as if it was meant for me to be here at this moment.. I got closer, leaning against a tree, when that soft voice made me startle..
“Nice evening, isn’t it?”
I couldn’t move an inch, although I wanted to run away.. far far away from him.. He turned around and approached me, smiling.. I couldn’t stand his kindness, not after what I’ve said to him in the past..
Me: “What are you doing here, Suho?”
Suho: “Hm.. so even you call me like that now..”
Me: “Oh.. sorry.. I mean..”
Suho: “It’s ok… How’ve you been?”
Me: “Good.. and you? Is it hard to be an idol?”
Suho: “Well.. sometimes.. but since it’s what I’ve always wanted to do, I feel happy no matter how much I have to work..”
Me: “I’m glad to know that.. you deserve all this.. you were strong enough to follow your dream..”
Suho: “I am not the only one..”
Me: “Ah… yeah.. well.. it all happened thanks to you, because you made me realise how wrong I was to let others live my life.. but.. I did pay a price..”
Suho: “I know.. your parents must have felt sad about that..”
Me: “I never saw them ever since I decided to quit..”
Suho: “It must have been hard… all by yourself..”
I nodded slowly, smiling.. It was indeed.. but I didn’t lose my hope, because I always had him to help me go on.. He looked at me when I said that, then let out a sigh.. I turned around, looking at the starry night, when he came closer and hugged me..
Suho: “Why? Tell me why?”
Me: “I couldn’t forgive myself.. Not after what I’ve said.. I hurt you, Suho.. I couldn’t pretend that everything was normal, with that memory hurting my heart..”
Suho: “Silly.. do you really think that affected me? You were only trying to let out all that sorrow that kept growing inside you, until you couldn’t breath anymore.. I happened to be the one which helped you get over it.. I don’t mind that you said all that to me.. But I don’t understand why did you decide to just leave.. why did you leave? I needed you.. ”
Me: “You needed someone trustworthy.. I was afraid I’ll hurt you even more due to my envy.. I was bad, Joon Myun.. Very bad.. I’m ashamed of myself..”
Suho: “Don’t say that..”
Me: “It’s true.. I had to do this.. I had to get away and find myself.. anyway.. it was the best thing to do.. I am glad that you managed to keep your faith.. You’re probably feeling content now.. Everything is fine.. the whole picture is complete..”
Suho: “Not quite.. the picture of my life is not yet complete.. how can it be.. since you’re not part of it?”
He stood in front of me, caressing my face, then took me in his arms, asking me to never leave him.. I couldn’t do that anymore.. because now I needed him.. more than anything..
I was the rose in the middle of a storm.. He was the hand that protected me.. Even if he wasn’t with me all this time, I could still face all the hardships destiny threw in the storm in which my life got stuck only by thinking at him or seeing him there on the stage..
He was always in my mind, in my heart.. He was always near me.. Now it was time for me to be there for him.. Now the flower had to shine for the protector.. Now I had to finally give my heart a chance to love..
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Hope you guys liked it! Thank you for reading! Please continue to love and support EXO. God bless you all!