Results


(Song in second slide)

3 Days Later

"Okay the results came back. They both say the same thing and well maybe you should take a look for yourself." Chloe says handing me some papers.

I was scared to look at them. This is gonna tell me everything I need to know. I already figured that if Cassie did drug me that she most likely raped me as well. That's the only reason for her to do something like that. I took a deep breath before reading both papers.

POSITIVE FOR MARIJUANA

POSITIVE FOR KETAMINE

Ketamine. She drugged me with fucking ketamine. Why? What the fuck does she get from this? How does she possibly benefit from raping me?

As soon as my life starts going good, it takes a turn for the worst. Why can't I have a good day? At least just one.

"Are you okay? Wait no, that's a stupid question. Will you be okay?" Chloe asked.

"Maybe one day. But I won't be no time soon." I answer honestly.

She hugs me to comfort me and I give in. Now knowing this, what am I supposed to do?

____________

I sat in the studio that's in my house. I turned one of these rooms into an almost professional style recording studio. Music has been my therapy since this situation started. The last three days have been the hardest of my life.

Maddy and I haven't spoken since she walked out. That shit is killing me. I've texted her a few times but she won't even respond. If I'm hurting then I can only imagine how she feeling.

I wanna tell her what Cassie did. But I don't even want to talk about that my damn self. I'm a victim of rape. How do I heal from that?

My phone rang and I quickly looked at it hoping that Maddy was calling. I was met with disappointment when I seen Rue's name. Don't get me wrong I love my cousin to death but that's not who I want to call.

"Yeah?" I said answering it anyway.

"You cheated on Maddy with Cassie? Seriously?" Rue says.

"Not really. I don't even wanna think about it." I answer.

"What do you mean not really? Lexi told me everything. Apparently Cassie told Maddy the full story. She told Maddy that you initiated it. That you started feeling on her first." She replies.

And it just gets worse. First she drugged me, raped me, now she telling everyone a false story.

"Maddy believed her?" I asked.

"From what I know, yeah she did. How could you possibly do something like that?" Rue asks.

Why does no one ask to hear my side of the story? Why am I immediately the bad guy? Now Maddy has this narrative of me that ain't even true.

It's crazier that she believes that shit. After everything Cassie did to her and she's just quick to believe that bullshit. That honestly speaks volumes.

"I didn't. All I'ma say is Cassie lying to everybody. That girl is not innocent." I say.

"So what did happen?" Rue asked.

"I don't feel like talking about it right now. But her story ain't the truth. She's the devil in disguise. I gotta go." I reply and hang up.

That's so low of Maddy to even fall for that. I know she's smarter than that. Or at least I'd love to believe she's smarter than that. Even then she should know me better.

I understand that she's mad at me and upset with me but that don't give her the right to believe absurd shit.

For the first time in a long time, I cried. I may not ever get Maddy back. I could just show her the drug test papers and explain it to her but for now I won't. I don't even feel comfortable talking about it to anybody.

At least not right now anyway. I'm still learning on how to deal with it myself. A part of me may never be okay again. I think my biggest thing is that I'm strong all the damn time.

I'd have to let my guard down to talk about this and I don't feel right doing that. Just not yet.

I pulled up a beat that Jaden sent me. I express myself better through music and it typically makes me feel better.

I read over the song I started working on last night. Adding and changing some lines as I read along. When I felt like it was good and expressed everything I was feeling, I set everything up to record it.

Leave the picture on the dresser
I knew you wasn't ready when I met ya
You say you gon' leave, but I won't sweat ya
My mind been made up

Plenty times I swear, I could've gave up
Plenty times, inside I'm hurt, but play tough
Everytime you give up on me, I be callin' back like we done made up
I just wanna meet whoever made love, 'cause it hurt
And it's weird (Love is weird)

Yeah, baby, I need you to be here, be my friend
Hold my hand
Will you forgive all my sins?
I'll probably never fall in love again
I sat in that tub again

I had thoughts to slit my wrist, but then, I knew that you'd be pissed
I didn't, what's the point of me livin' if this the way that I'll be feelin'?
Why won't you stay? I just don't get it

Cryin' to nobody else
I ain't got nobody help
I feel like I'm by myself
Freeze my heart, it's gon' melt
All the things that I been through, this probably the worst I felt
You don't give a damn, I speak my peace and you just say, "Oh, well"

Yeah, stay on the other side of the fence
I done noticed, what's for you is for you, what's meant is meant
I done did a lot for us than just make love
Then, it's like we break up, see, you like to take stuff
Take my heart and put it on the train tracks
Or take a silver bullet and just aim it where my brain at

Bleed for ya, breath for ya, here for ya, need for ya
Don't know how you did it, never saw myself leavin' ya
Thought you wouldn't change, but it's okay, I still believe in ya
Even though I can't tell you what it was that I seen in ya

Hard times, they only get better
I had told you I won't let up
Told you, one day I'ma rock you like my sweater
Told you one day, I would treat you way, way better than he ever did
You messed it up
I know you don't care, but now, you out of love
Life is tough, you the one that been 'round when my life was rough
I was there, I'm the one who came around and piped you up

How I'm supposed to make you mine when you can't make a house a home?
Baby, I thought that we was grown, some things I wish would've been shown
You don't really love me, I just wish I would've known
It's been easier, I just wanna be alone

Leave the picture on the dresser
I knew you wasn't ready when I met ya
You say you gon' leave, but I won't sweat ya
My mind been made up

Plenty times I swear, I could've gave up
Plenty times, inside I'm hurt, but play tough
Everytime you give up on me, I be callin' back like we done made up
I just wanna meet whoever made love, 'cause it hurt
And it's weird (Love is weird)

Yeah, baby, I need you to be here, be my friend
Hold my hand
Will you forgive all my sins?
I'll probably never fall in love again
I sat in that tub again

I had thoughts to slit my wrist, but then, I knew that you'd be pissed
I didn't, what's the point of me livin' if this the way that I'll be feelin'?
Why won't you stay? I just don't get it

I mixed and mastered it before uploading on my YouTube channel. I posted it on my Instagram page also. I sat back in the chair and cried thinking about my fucking life.

__________

I woke up in the studio to the sound of my phone going off. I sighed looking at the weed everywhere and half drunken bottle of Hennessy on the floor. This is so depressing.

"Hello?" I say not looking at the caller ID.

"Y/N, Maddy is in labor. We're rushing her to the hospital now." Lexi said quickly.

"Which hospital?" I asked.

She told me which one and I hung up. I quickly stood up and got myself together. I grabbed the hospital bag and other important shit before rushing out the door.

My baby girl is finally about to be here. That's the only thing going good for me.

_____________

Song: Toosii - Love Is

Cassie's honestly evil and I hate I had to make her that way.

Not Proofread

Until Next Time.

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