Some things remain the same. Like the fact that Aiden checked up on me before bed even though we weren't on good terms.

I still had no clue what mom meant with her another guy comment. As far as I knew I wasn't out to anyone, and concerning my incident, it was just me being at the wrong place in the wrong time.

"Can we talk?" Aiden asked, his face peering into my bedroom.

"If you're going you yell at me more, save it."

"I won't. I promise" he had a bit of sadness on his face which was very unfamiliar of Aiden. He was always a ray of sunshine. A person who made everyone happy and whose presence was always a relief.

He went inside when he felt safe. By safe I mean that I wasn't going to bash his head with an empty vase. Not that I would actually do it... I think?

I could feel Aiden trying to pick out what he wanted to say carefully as to not push any of my easily triggered buttons. The last time, I broke my phone- which frankly I didn't really need considering I had no friends and honestly not having mom call me every few hours was a relief.

"It's been four years Raiden" anger immediately flared in my eyes. "Please just listen for once in your damn life" he said in a surprisingly calm tone.

"We know, mom and I, that there was more to the story than what you told us," I felt my nerves tensing at what was going to come next, "And there are things that we did not tell you"

I had to leave my bed and pace to my windowsill because I couldn't remain seated.

I didn't have to tell him to spill what they knew because he did on his own. "Mom and I knew that you didn't just 'happen to be' at the Devil's Alley. We know it was your boyfriend and yes we know you're gay." my fists clenched on their own and I felt the urge to feel pain. That's how messed up I've become.

So many questions circled around the walls of the room. 'How long has it been since they knew?', 'what else did they know that I'm oblivious about?'

"Why did you wait for now to tell me that?"

"Let me finish, please" Aiden insisted.

"We wanted you to tell us. It wasn't really our business and we wanted you to be ready to come out yourself."

"So you mean to tell me you knew! This whole time! And did nothing about it?"

"Bullshit" Aiden snapped back. "We did everything we could. You didn't know any of what was happening in the background. The whole Hilltown Police was involved. They went over every traffic camera or security camera on site. There was absolutely nothing on there related to the incident. Absolutely nothing! They thought mom was lying but there was also your fucked up body in the hospital and no one knew what to-"

"SHUT UP." my hands were squeezing my ears in on their own." SHUT UP. SHUT UP" I didn't wanna hear anything anymore. "JUST LEAVE MY DAMN ROOM"

In art class, I snapped 2 brushes by how tense I was, and I ended up getting red paint on Evan Peterson's shirt which he did not like.

"Did it have to be the red one!" he sighed in frustration and grumbled something about it looking better if it were blue.

Even after a week of school, and art class passing on swiftly every day, today seemed to drag on.

Possibly because of yesterday night's rundown with Aiden was still tumbling inside of my head.

<><><><><><><><>
"You can't possibly be eating all of these?"  I exclaimed at the 4 burgers laid out in front of Aiden.

"I eat when I'm upset" he spoke after he swallowed a bite from the 5th burger that was in his hand.

"At least let me have one"

"Yours is in the microwave" oh my God.

He lowered his burger a bit and shifted his gaze towards me, lost in thought. His features fell even more and it was worrying me. Aiden can't be broken.

"Was I really that bad of a brother?" Aiden spoke softly. I placed my bag on the floor and pulled out my chair which creaked against the wooden floor.

"Elaborate" I didn't like where it was going.

"I mean something obviously made you scared to tell me the most important things in your life. You hid yourself from me even though I tried my whole life to show you that I had your back whenever you need to lean down. And even though you neared death... Sorry... You just completely tried to hide it from me. I get that you'd want to hide your sexuality and relationships from mom, but me? I considered you my best friend Rai" he sounded so hurt and sad that it made my heart clench.

It killed me that he was beating himself over it just because I was a coward that could never stand up for himself.

"I was just a fucking coward. Still am. I couldn't get myself to tell you in fear of - that -"

"I can't believe you." he slammed his burger down on the table. "You really thought I was going to stop being your brother or hate you just because of something as stupid as your sexuality? Raiden I don't care if you go fuck a tree" he laughed bitterly and took the biggest bite I've ever seen anyone take.

I felt like shit and food became the last thing on my mind.

"Aiden you have to understand me" I tried to explain but I was at a weak point in this conversation.

"What about understanding ME huh? Why don't you understand that I want to help you? You think it's easy for me to see you this way? Even in the rare times you laugh you look miserable. Your face looks tired all the damn time. I know you're depressed and I know you cry in your sleep and it kills me that I can't help you because you don't want to help yourself"

I thought about his words as I took a warm shower. I was disgusted with myself and with life in general.

That night when I lay in bed, I had a feeling for the first time that Aiden wasn't gonna wish me goodnight before he goes to sleep.

Yet once again I misjudged him.

I wasn't ready for anything and it took me by surprise that he came to my room so I pretended to be asleep. He approached my bed, lifted my hair off of my forehead and kissed it.

When he was halfway near the door, I called his name.

"I thought you were asleep" he said in a hushed tone which made me think how weird us humans are. We speak in low voices at night even if we know no one can hear us or no one is asleep.

"I'm sorry Aiden. I really am sorry"

"Shhh it's fine. I overreacted. Just go to sleep now"

"You're the best brother I could ever wish for. And I mean it" I confessed truthfully.

"It'll be alright Raiden. We'll be okay"

"We'll be okay."

More very soon I promise.

Sorry for the delay but my life was a t u r m o i l.

Don't forget to vote and comment por favor. Thank you for reading x