A/N: Ok a few words and I really hope you listen.
First of all thanks so fucking much, the story is doing better than any of my others were when they were being written¡
Second of all the story is coming to an end- he said even though he knew it'll drag on for at least 5 more chapters, but like it only gets worse from here x
Without further ado:

"I'm so nervous, Thomas" I said.
The mansion's main garden was decorated to the fullest. Red and black were the theme colours. These colours never predict anything good.

Everyone was dressed in tuxedos and fancy dresses. I was in a tux too, but let me take you a little while back.
---------------------------
"Stop arguing, we're not going." I dismissed his attempts. His mental health mattered to me more than anything.

He huffed. "You don't understand. I want to go. I need to do it for you and for myself."

He was so damn stubborn.

"Can I?" I motioned at his body. I was always wary before touching him. He didn't nod like usual, but he hugged me instead. "Raiden I don't want anything to hurt you, ever-"

"And to do that I need to step out of the box around my head" he gave a valid point.

I didn't break our hug, despite it being longer than normal hugs. I just couldn't get enough of him, and every time we touched it was like the first time all over again.

"Hey love birds, am I interrupting something?" Aiden peered through the living room door at their house. "Woah! Raiden is touching something other than himself!"

A pillow flew right towards Aiden's face. "I don't even touch myself, asshole"

"No wonder you're always cranky" Aiden dropped into the armchair.

Raiden tucked his legs under him and leaned towards the arm of the sofa. He was wearing long sleeves and sweatpants. His hair was a mess of black strands against his tan face.

For the first time I noticed how long his eyelashes were, and it had me feeling a certain way.

"I never thought I'd say this, but damn Rai you're almost never home anymore." Aiden teased.

"Well we're always-" Raiden gestured for me to stop talking.

"Fuck off" he told his twin. They had a weird relationship because Aiden just laughed.

"Let's go Thomas, we have a tuxedo to buy" Raiden surprisingly said and dashed outside the living room, leaving his brother confused as hell.

"Here goes nothing" he took a breath and entered Dress to Impress for the second time.

I knew, that for any normal person, it just sounds stupid. What's the big deal? He's just going into a stupid store, right? Wrong.

The world would be a much better place if people understood that some people have problems dealing with day-to-day 'normal' tasks. And that was okay. Just like someone is good at math and bad at chemistry, some people are good at dealing with immense pain, but are bad at going into a clothing store.

"I'm okay, I promise" he reassured me.

I sneaked my hand into his, and realised it was probably our first time doing such thing in public, and this time I was the one who freaked, because I didn't know how would he react. I didn't want him to have another panic episode.

His head snapped towards me, him being a little shorter than I was. I saw nothing but determination.

He slid his hand from under my coat and around my waist, and hugged himself against my body. It was warm and brave, and that's how we walked to the formal clothes section.

"Zac no longer works here?" I asked Lucas, who was from our school. He was serving the men's section, which was usually handled by Zac Grayson, captain of the football team, and a good friend of mine. Though we haven't really had a decent conversation for weeks despite being on the same team.

"No Zac's been busy with his boyfriend and son" Lucas explained. "I heard from Rue they're planning to get married" Lucas lead us through the formal clothes section while talking nonstop; Raiden still attached to my hip, and I could feel his anxiety whenever he held tighter. It made him feel safe. The thought that I made him feel safe made me so content, you have no idea.

"Marriage in highschool man, that's whack isn't it?" for a moment I forgot Lucas was still there. I forgot the world was still there. Fuck the world I had Raiden.

"Well if they love each other and are capable of commitment, I don't see why not" Raiden added to the conversation for the first time. His grip was tighter.

"Tuxes for the masquerade right?" I nodded. Everyone around town knew about the masquerade, though not a lot were fortunate to go.

"Lucky asses" Lucas said. "I would kill to go to such a party. Man the food is great"

"I would know" I said. Lucas wasn't that sharp. He didn't put two and two together and figure out that it's my mom who was organising the event.

Despite it being for charity, to mom it was just an excuse to enforce her upper high-class status, and flaunt a new set of jewellery which cost could rebuild the whole school. Hell it would be enough to bargain with Satan and bring back the casualties.

Though if you ignore mom's intentions, it's an event for a good cause.

I picked a tuxedo for Raiden; black wit silver accents. Silver tie and cufflinks. I liked the combination and Raiden would look so damn good in it.

I already had mine tailored and ready. I wanted a custom tailored one for Raiden, but he would skin me alive if he had to be measured and probed by someone.

Lucas gave him the right size, as estimated by him, and Raiden went into the changing room. Meanwhile Lucas headed off to help someone else after excusing himself politely. Well as polite as Lucas could get.

I waited in anticipation, wondering how Raiden would look like in the tux. Then wondering how Raiden looks like without the tux. I brushed the thoughts off.

I've never thought sexually of Raiden, and I didn't like to do it despite how much I wanted it. The boy was violated in so many ways, and I didn't want my thoughts to contribute.

My love for him was purely innocent.

After a short while of not hearing any shuffling, I knocked on the door. "Are you done?" I asked. He didn't reply.
"Raiden?" I was getting worried when he didn't answer again, and I heard a sniffle.

Fuck it. I opened the door and went inside. Raiden was on the floor of the small changing room, still in his clothes, and the tuxedo in his lap.

"I'm so stupid" he cried.

"Shh don't say that. What's wrong?"

"I don't even know how to dismantle it or what to wear first or where this thing goes. I look so pathetic leave me alone" he hid his face away from me.

"I told you, you don't have to do this. Not for me not for anyone."

"For myself. I'm doing this for myself. Because I'm tired of being a coward and not doing things and hiding away in myself. And for you. I want to do it for you because I love you and you deserve so much better than the mess I am."

"You're a mess Raiden Haile, but you're my mess, and I don't care. Now let me help you with that.

We fixed everything and hung the shirt and the vest and the rest of the articles.

I turned around when Raiden was taking off his clothes to dress.

To stay turned was the hardest thing I've ever done in my life.

Until I turned, and was horrified by what I saw.

P.S. Sorry for the late chapter, more soon, and early I'll try I promise.