"I'm not talking to you" I said stubbornly as we entered a clothing store called Dress To Impress. Stupid name, good looking clothes.

"You just did" he countered.

"Dammit" I cursed. "What are we doing here anyway?" I didn't really ask before, and I didn't even inquire on where were we going. I just wanted a break away from my mess of a closet.

"We're going to need tuxedoes" Thomas said. Tux? wait what?

"Ha Ha" I laughed. Didn't say anything afterwards. Thomas went straight to the upper floor, leading me by his side. The store was a bit crowded for a mid Saturday.

"Why are you laughing"

"You're kidding right?"

"Not really no" I spotted a familiar girl from school. Flashy hair.

"I can't afford buying a tuxedo" I said nonchalantly.

Thomas sighed. I knew he was sighing because he wasn't gonna let me pay. The thing is, though, I didn't want him buying me shit. But at the same time I didn't have anything formal to wear for that damn party, that I agreed on going to, fully aware that it was a social event of the finest ones. Why did I even say yes?

Trying on clothes means social interaction.
You've never worn a tux.
You will look like a joke.
You are a joke.
I'm not a joke.

I am a joke.

You're gonna make a fool of yourself.
They're all anticipating how ridiculously stupid you'll look just so they could laugh at you.
No.
Thomas just wants to embarrass you.
No.
You're gonna look so stupid and they're gonna touch you in all sorts of places. Touching hurts, Raiden.
You will hurt.
Pain is gonna be your companion forever.
Hahahaha.
No.
No.

NO.

"Raiden what's wrong??" An echo of Thomas's voice rang in my head. "Raiden talk to me" his hands gripped my flail body.

He's touching you.
They all will touch you.
You can control the damage you give yourself but you can't control what they do to you.
Thomas is gonna hurt you.
Just like Blake.
No.
No.
"NO" I screamed, leaving the store in a rush as if it was on fire. And I ran. I was surprised I could ran in the first place, but I did.

"Raiden" he yelled but I couldn't respond.

Flashbacks to to four years ago came back rushing to me. The roads shifted from daylight to night and then back. It was all becoming the same and then normal again. I could feel their laughter behind me.

I was bleeding everywhere. My leg hurt and I couldn't yell because I was punched in the throat.

They wanted to rape me.

I was naked on the cold hard floor.

But then I wasn't.

I was in a warm car. It smelled so nice. And I was warm and covered. And I was safe. And an angel was speaking in my ears telling me I'm okay. Telling me to take his hand and just relax because I'm safe. I was safe. I am safe.

You are safe.

"You're okay Raiden. It's in the past. You're fine see. Look around no one's gonna hurt you anymore" Thomas calmed me.

Somehow I was sitting against a wall in a park and Thomas was crouching in front of me, and you could see his knees almost hitting his elbows because of how long his legs were.

How did he know what was in the past?

How did he know what's wrong?

Why was he still here and not running like a maniac? Basically like I was just a few minutes ago.

"You know?" I stared into his eyes which shared an understanding like mine. Though mine were glistened with a few tears.

"I know." he said. My whole flesh tightened against my bones, and my fists clenched.

I needed to go.

I pushed him and ran, not panicking this time, and he didn't follow.

Go back to him.
No.

Go home.
I didn't want to go home.

Go back to him.
No.

He didn't hurt you.
He saved you.

He hid it from me.

Go to the cliff.
My body shuddered.

I didn't wanna go anywhere.

Where I ended up made me wanna kill myself more than ever.

A small place with a smaller fountain and blue roses and a gazebo I helped paint myself.

Finding my sketchbook in there near one of the flowers made me wanna tear it apart.

I fell to the floor of the Gazebo and sobbed. I didn't know if Magdalena saw me enter and I hoped she didn't know.

"You don't have to like me, or love me, or hate me, or even talk to me. Just hear me out okay?" Thomas.

I sobbed like a child but I was silent.

"I didn't know who you were. I was there by accident. I was seeking relief from what I was going through myself. I heard your screams Raiden. You probably thought they were useless screams. I couldn't fathom what you could've been thinking or feeling or going through. I couldn't imagine how many things were going through your mind.

"I wanted to help you. I wanted to feel like I did something. And then I saw you. Battered on the floor and they were all around you laughing and joking and having fun when you literally were dying right there a few metres away from me. And I knew I could've ended up right there next to you. Equally as beaten, but I didn't care. I needed to help you and I didn't care where was I going to end.

"If I hadn't forced myself to go and get you. You could've died and I would've followed you. Not because I was deeply and madly in love with you from that first look. Or because some dumb connection was between us. I couldn't even see you properly let alone think of you in that way.

"But I do love you, Raiden. Believe it or not. And I know you do too. I know you've been hurt and I've seen hurt on you in every possible way.

"Please let it get through to you that all I want to do is protect you and your fucking tortured bloody heart."

I closed my eyes and for a moment everything was silent. Not even cold anymore.

Then his now so familiar footsteps closed the distance that separated us. And he was there in the gazebo looking at the mess I was. And yet he sat there, next to me, wary of the tiny distance between us.

He shuffled and moved and was restless for a few seconds, but then he took me back into his arms like every time.

"You're a brave boy Raiden, and I'm so damn lucky to be the one holding you like this. And I promise you whenever you go through anything, I'll be the one holding you like this and making sure all your pieces remain together. I love you Raiden, so damn much."

You are safe.

"I may have asked you before, but why? Why me of all people? Why not someone else with less problems and less... I don't know scars maybe?"

"You know, other people, they're all like mannequins. Each and everyone made from the same material and look the same. They differ of course, but do they really? And they talk about different things and they like different things, but it's all the same. You're weird, Raiden. And different. And I love weird and different. And I don't have to hide it or mask it. Despite whatever you've gone through, and wherever we stand and will stand, I'll always love you, and only you."

I believed it was true. I mean I surely knew it was all gonna break into hell, but for that short while I believed it. I convinced myself that it's true. And it was true, until the inevitable happened. And my unfortunate story went on.

More soon. Don't forget to vote!