“Are you going to open it?” I asked her. She was busy eating strawberries. Not gonna lie they were really good.

“I still think this is over the top, but okay.” She gave me a humble smile with a sideway glance. She had been smiling all day. If she thought that the box was over the top, she was in for a surprise she saw what was in it.

She wiped her hands against the cloth and held the box gently. Her eyes went as wide as saucers, her lips slightly parted to give way for a held breath.

In the box was a rose gold necklace. Cliché, I know. However, it seemed fitting. It was her character. Rose gold roses were placed equidistantly from each other along the necklace. All custom made.

You'd be surprised what store owners are willing to do for a 15 year old with a big wad of cash.

“Oh. My. God. This is so beautiful.” She gasped.

And as all cheesy stories go, mine was the same. It was like the perfect fairytale, a prince, a princess, and the best love story ever. Young lovers, fresh buds, ripe love.

So it goes like all the other fairytales:

I place a necklace around her neck.

She says she loves it.

She promises she's never going to take it off.

She says she’ll never forget this day.

Edward and Bella.

Troy and Gabriella.

…Thomas and Rose.

And as all my happy stories go, she died.

I did not do bad things to others or myself after it happened. I was hurt. I was crushed. And most of all, I was alone.

What I thought was doing good turned out to be the worst thing I've ever done.

I wanted to be like dad.

So one night, I followed him.

-----------------------------------

“You sit here more often than I do” Thomas said, the t in often was silent. I was glad it was silent, it annoyed me when people said it of-ten.

I smiled.  A genuine from-the-heart smile. I knew he would find me sooner or later.

It was snowing lightly, and I was perched on the ground of Thomas’s garden, sketching a few flowers. When I realized I was drawing the blue roses, bile rose a bit in my stomach. Thomas was scarily protective of them. They do not wilt for goodness sake.

I don’t know if he sensed my change of demeanor, but when I turned to him, he was no longer by my side.

“I don’t understand how you’re so good at drawing, but can’t mix two colours properly in paint class.” Thomas teased; he was filling the bird feeder.

“Well see drawing and painting are both art right. Football and swimming are both sports. You can be good at one or another or both. Bottom line you’re really smart so don’t ask dumb questions for the sake of conversing with me.” I didn’t know when I was harsh with my wordings and when I wasn’t, but Thomas minded neither.

“What do you want me to say?” He asked.

“I don’t know,” I tilted my sketchbook a bit, nervousness forgotten. “Ask Siri perhaps.”

He laughed. “And what do I ask Siri” he was being smart again and I played along.

“How to not be a smartass and grow a pair” I said. I knew he wanted to ask me something the moment he started dancing around with his words.

“Alright, alright, stop being an ass to me, I’ll ask.”

“Ask.”

“Do you like me, Raiden?” The question made my pencil drop, along with my heartbeat.

He was closer now -behind me- I could feel him.

I looked up and there he was. His white blonde hair covered with a few bits of snow. His lips cracking one of his soft smiles. He extended his hand, and I took it, hesitantly at first, then confidently.

He helped me up, and I straightened my clothes.

For a considerable amount of time, I was just looking at him. He was anticipating an answer. We were together for a good 2 months, and it was his right to get an answer. Thomas wasn’t one to waste time, but I wasn’t one to trust again.

But It’s Thomas.

“I don’t want you to feel pressured to answer it, I just really, really wanna know if you like me or not.”

“Thomas I-” he took both my hands in his and spoke.

“I know you like me, but do you like me, like me?” he asked.

For a moment, I thought that I was turning to stone, and becoming a garden statue.

“I’ll be honest with you Thomas, as much as I hate it, and I really tried, so much. But I don’t, like you that is…”

“Oh. I guess I should’ve known, but it’s just”

“Thomas I-”

“It’s fine Raiden, I will still be friends with you” he joked and I suddenly wanted to cry.

“Let’s go” He added, grabbed my hand and dashed towards the manor, my sketchbook and pencil long forgotten.

Thomas’s P.O.V:

--------------------------

We passed by Mags on our way inside, who was looking at us like two lovebirds. It was how we she looked at Rose and me, and I had a pinch in my guts. If only you knew Mags.

Once in my bedroom, everything was calm and warm. Raiden was confused. I told him to take off his shoes, which he did. I took off mine too, and we shrugged off our jackets. I rolled the sleeves of my shirt and started pushing stuff around.

We were in the middle of the spacious bedroom. Every piece of furniture was moved to the walls; as if they were nothing but pictures.

We were both wearing black. I was wearing black on my body and he was wearing black in his heart. My hand, his hand, two inches away in midair; arms too.

A spin.

Another.

Back to where we were standing.

Two shadows dancing in the middle of an empty space. Haunting the room with my ghostly white skin and his ashy dark soul. I had a black spot for him. He had a white spot for me.

Ying and Yang.

And with coordinated steps we moved. One foot forward, one foot backward. Another spin. My hand moved to his shoulder, two inches above it. His hand moved to my waist, two inches beside it. Like two magnets facing the same pole being pushed together. So close but not enough.

The music was soft and the air was musky. Glimmering of the moon and a twinkle of stars. But not those in the sky.

I taught him how to dance, and all the moves he needed to know for the masquerade, and I was glad he enjoyed every part of them. I wanted him. My whole wanted him. But he wasn’t available for me. He wasn’t available for anyone.

I was lying on my bed, gazing at the intricate details on the roof of it, lost in thought.

For a moment, I forgot Raiden was there.

I kept asking myself what was I doing?

Why was I letting myself get dragged into this? I couldn’t touch him. I couldn’t kiss him. I couldn’t hold him in my arms, and take him out like a lover, and I couldn’t tell him all the things I wanted to tell him. He didn’t even like me in a romantic way, and that had me thinking everything through.

You love him. That was why. I loved him. And I would’ve done everything I’ve done for him all over again even if he doesn’t like me.

“I love you” was one of the things I wanted to say, but I didn’t. For some reason, it felt like I actually heard it bounce across the walls of the room.

“I don’t like you Thomas, I love you. So much.” His voice draw my whole self to him, like an enchantment.

“Do you really?”

He nodded, tears dancing in his eyes.

“Can I?” I asked for permission. He knew what I wanted to do and agreed nonetheless.

I took him in my arms, and hugged him so tight. He was sobbing and I was melting in his embrace.

He slept in my bed that night, and I was so happy I didn’t sleep not one bit. I was up all night and I just wanted to make sure everything he ever needed was available for him because God I love him so damn much.

More soon x