"Can you please shut up for just one minute" Aiden screamed at no one in particular. "We can't figure anything out if everyone is talking at the same effin time."

"I rather no one talk about anything because there's nothing to talk about" I surrendered.

"You bet your ass there is." my mom retorted through the speaker.

Aiden was sitting on the arm of the couch, I was on the floor with my back to the armchair, while Thomas (Yes, believe it or not he was at our house) was standing by the TV.

"We can't help you if you don't tell us everything from start to finish"

"No one can force me to say anything" I argued stubbornly. I did not want to speak of what shaped me to be the shell of a human I am now.

"No one is forcing you to say anything we're asking you so we could help" Aiden was trying hard not to show frustration but his voice said otherwise.

"WELL MAYBE I DON'T NEED HELP,” I screamed and stormed out of the living room straight up to my bedroom and slammed the door behind me.

You'd think 4 years later and moving away would be an opportunity to start fresh. Life doesn't work that way.

After I found the paper stamped to my locker I knew it was from him. It had to be him. I could hear his voice through it. I could smell him and feel his presence with those simple two words.

A part of me wanted to believe that it was a "new student" prank. But I've been a new student for 3 weeks. If anyone wanted to prank me it would have happened before.

That day at work, which was my second day and last day, I only thought about the damn message.

I had to leave work because Luna's father had to do "sudden and urgent" renovations.

Upside of that? I get paid the next 3 months without doing anything. It all sounded like it wasn't real, and I would have been over the moon if I wasn't thinking about my horrible nightmarish past lurking behind my back and peaking on me.

"Go Away Aiden" I said when I heard the knocks on the door.

"It's not Aiden" Thomas said and waited.

I didn't know whether I should let him into my room or not. My room represented me. It was what I was. Beige, colourless, dull. Boring. Undecorated. Lifeless. Cold. Lacking.

I was afraid of Thomas.

He wasn't like other guys.
Blake wasn't like other guys.

He only wanted to be my friend.
Blake only wanted to be my friend.

He wanted to be there for me when I needed him.
Blake wanted to be there for me when I needed him.

Very afraid indeed.

I didn't wanna let anyone into my life, I still stand by that. But I wasn't letting Thomas in.

Thomas was water. Full of life.

I was a dry wall with cracks in it.

Thomas was seeping through.

You can't stop water from reaching its destination. No matter how hard you try or what dams you build, water eventually breaks through.

I wasn't ready for Thomas to break through.

All of my inhibitions seem to wane though, the moment he says my name. He doesn't say my name in words only. I notice it even if he thinks I don't. He says my name in the way he reaches to touch me whenever he lets it slip his mind that I don't tolerate human contact.

He touches me way before his hand reaches me, and way before he retracts it discreetly.

"Come in" I sighed.

The door slowly creaked and then snapped closed. I heard his footsteps but I was on my windowsill so I didn't really look. I assumed he'd be looking at the small pile of phone scrap in the corner. I didn't clean it up but I did shove it to the very corner as a reminder that even the most valuable things break.

I chanced a glance at him and saw him looking at the bare walls of the room. I wouldn't blame him for thinking I'm a lifeless nothing.

"How did they take the life out of you?" Thomas murmured, but I didn't hear what he said properly.

"If you're here to-"

"I'm here just to sit with you." he quickly interrupted. "I just want to be in your company."

"Why would anyone want my company? You can choose whoever you like to hang out with and you can afford having croissants in Paris then eating pizza in Rome all in one day. Why would you choose sitting at a windowsill with a troubled loser in a bedroom version of a jail cell?"

"You're right. I can do all of those and probably more. But those things don't make me feel warm on the inside. Being in Paris doesn't make me feel happy like being on a windowsill with you. Eating pizza in Rome doesn't mean to me as much as it would mean if I eat pizza with you on the floor behind a bed." He was tracing his finger against the window and words can't describe how much I wanted to be that window.

"This is a cold town Raiden. But people like you, so pure, so innocent, make up for the missing warmth."

I shook my head. "I'm in no way innocent"

"I don't believe that" he quickly countered.

"I used to hang out with a guy, Blake, who I eventually fell in love with. He was involved in a lot of bad shit. I knew I shouldn't have gotten involved with him or his crew, but my I did. I wanted to. I wanted to know what was it like to be one of the bad guys.

Eventually I realised I didn't want to be involved anymore. And my dumb fallen-in-love ass decided to talk Blake out of it. Then after sometime Blake made sure I knew that leaving him or his people was not an option.

I didn't know what to do considering I was 14 and stupid while he was 18. Even our relationship was illegal and everything beyond it was illegal. His existence was illegal.

One day I decided to leave without him knowing. But once again I just proved to myself that I'm so dumb to think that he wouldn't be onto me. He followed me through alleyway after alleyway through a complex of alleys called-"

"The Devil's Alley"

"You know it?"

Thomas sighed. "Sadly I know it. Who doesn't?"

"My dumbass didn't know it was such a bad place"

"Stop calling yourself a dumbass because you're not"

I didn't know why I was telling him this but my hear seemed to pour out on its own. Maybe I felt safe in his presence? A safety I've never felt with Blake.

"Eventually Blake caught up to me with a few of his friends and they beat the shit out of me." just recalling that memory brought so much misery and weariness to my face I could feel it falling while my eyes decorated it with glistening tears. "He carved the first letter of his name on my lower abdomen. And planted scars all over my body. You know, just like you plant flowers. I was a flower bed for his knife."

I saw Thomas's hand reach out for me and as I predicted he pulled it back quickly. His body was screaming. My body was shouting too.

Despite what our minds wanted and were doing, our bodies were fighting just like how you force two magnets apart. But minds win when your mind's strong enough.

"You know this proves my point right?"

"Which point?"

"That you're innocent. Even your description of pain is innocent. The sorrow your eyes are holding is innocent. And you, Raiden, you are too innocent to go through this"

I moved away from the windowsill to my bed. I was starting to get colder as it started to snow lightly outside.

"It doesn't matter anyway. The damage is done and I'm broken. Nothing can fix it"

"As much as you believe it, you're not broken. You're made of steel and steel doesn't break; it bends. I can't promise you that I can bend it back the way it was, and who knows, maybe the new shape it's bent towards is better? But I can promise you one thing for sure: Blake will get what he deserves."

There was something sinister about the way he said that that worried me. I did not like where it was going.

Hey what's up guys. Quick note:

First of all a disclaimer:

Characters' opinions and actions do not represent the views of the author and do not necessarily mean I support/oppose them. They are characters of their own and have their own beliefs and opinions.

Second of all if you're enjoying it please give it a vote and don't be too shy of sharing your thoughts in a comment or two.

Third things third thank you so much for reading and if you haven't read Stepbrothers or Roommates it would be great if you check them out I promise you won't regret reading them. P. S. Linda is in all of them, just sayin...

Last things Last this was the last chapter of this year and I will see you guys with a new chapter in 2018...or by this upload rate by 2028 lol.

I hope you all had a wonderful holiday and I hope you have a wild but safe New Year's. Thanks for being the best x.