Today started off as a good day.

Delilah and I slept through the night in our own beds. I ate a good breakfast and didn't feel sick. The commute to work was nice and I was in the middle of an engaging conversation with Luke. But it came to a halt when we walked by Penelope's office.

We walked in and saw he crying at her desk. "Are you okay?" Luke asked.

She seemed startled to see us and quickly wiped away her tears and sprung out of her chair.

"I'm okay, really. You guys can go." Luke shook his head and closed the door to her office. "We can't just leave you like this, talk to us."

I had a feeling I knew what this was about. "Is this about Spence? I know you saw him."

She nodded her head at my question. I knew that seeing him was rough on me, but I didn't expect the others to feel the same way.

"He's hurt."

My morning wasn't so good anymore. Luke had a concerned look on his face. "How bad?"

"Real bad. Like 'he should be in protective custody' bad."

I couldn't help but worry that it was my fault. I go and see him and now he's hurt. Maybe they figured out I was a fed.

"Does he have any friends he can stick around?"

"He's got two," I spoke up. "Yeah, Delgado and Shaw," Penelope finished.

"Shaw? Like Calvin Shaw?"

"In his letter he did mention a friend named Calvin. You don't think it's-"

"I think so," he cut me off. "I'm gonna talk to Prentiss. Maybe I could talk to the prison board about getting extra eyes on him. Maybe Emily can see if his lawyer can do anything on the legal side."

A noise coming from Garcia's computer grabbed our attention. "That'll have to wait, we've got a case."

"I'll talk to Prentiss now and figure this out." He paused and put a hand on each of our shoulders. "We are gonna get Reid through this."

We walked out into the hall and I stopped Luke before he could get too far.

"Thank you... for doing this. I appreciate it."

He sent me a smile and was on his way to talk to Prentiss. He was gonna join us later while we were on the case. I felt a little rusty, it being my first case in a while, but I was prepared. Spencer always said compartmentalizing wasn't a good coping mechanism, but wallowing in my own self pity wasn't really an option.

We were off to Vermont catch this psycho killer. I had been doing fairly well on this case so far. When we were back at our hotel rooms, I made a quick call home to see how everything was going. Delilah had a better day at school, her friend Darcy still hanging out with her despite her mother's protests. But even from over 500 miles away, I could tell she really wanted me there.

She was already struggling with one parent temporarily out of the picture and I felt like a horrible mom for leaving her for work. My dad had reassured me plenty that I wasn't a bad mom.

I started to feel a little better when Luke finally joined us the next day. "Hey, how'd it go?"

"We can't get him into protective custody, but he should be protected by his friend Shaw."

"Was he the agent that killed his informant?"

He nodded. "Apparently he's got it pretty well there. I gave him a pretty good reason to help out Reid."

He started to walk away before I stopped him. "Do you think it's my fault? Do the others know that he's an agent? I wanted to visit him, but if it's gonna just hurt him I-"

Luke cut me off by lightly grabbing my shoulders. "It's not your fault. People in prison live in a world of their own and start fights with the others for reasons that may make no sense to us. But trust me, you're not hurting him. I bet he would say the same thing."

I nodded and then pulled him into a hug. "Thank you, Luke."

"No problem," he said as he pulled away. "Now let's go catch this killer."

A few days later, we caught our killer. A sleep-walker with a strange habit for stabbing. We made our way back to Quantico and I was ready to get back in my own bed.

When I brought Delilah back home, I sorted through the mail and something caught my eye. "Hey Dee, I've got some mail for you!"

She skidded down the hall and excitedly took the letter from my hands.

"It's from dad! I'm gonna go read it." Within a flash, she was down the hall and in her room.

I sat at the table and opened my letter, Spencer's chicken scratch bringing me some comfort.

Dear Ariel,

I'm not doing well. I know I shouldn't be telling you what's going on and make you worry, but I just really need someone to talk to. I got beat up, pretty badly. The other inmates don't like me, I've known that since day one. But I didn't expect them to barge into my cell and give me black and yellow bruises. They mentioned you before they beat me and if they didn't outnumber me and hold me down, I was sure I would've tried my hardest to fight back. But it's not your fault. I know your brain is probably in overdrive and you're probably blaming yourself. Nothing that happens to me is your fault, I swear to god, love. Penelope was worried and I know Luke did something to try and help me. I appreciate it, but I just know the other inmates are going to hate me more. They threatened me to move their heroine to them safely. If I don't, I know they're gonna hurt me, maybe even kill me. They made that extremely clear when they killed Luis right in front of me. They sliced is throat and there was nothing I could do. It was just like all those years ago when I watched Cole torture you. He was defenceless and I got him killed. My thoughts have become a lot more depressive lately. I'm starting to worry that I won't make it out of here. But the thought of coming home to you and our beautiful daughter brings me some sort of comfort in this desolate place. I even think about the future. I'm certain that I want to try and get a few more kids out of you, with your permission of course. But god knows when or if that could ever happen. I know it was hard to visit me. I know this is difficult on you and Dee and I feel like a total asshole for putting you through this. But if I don't make it out I just want you to know that you girls are the best things to have ever happened to me. The most peace I've ever had is the feeling of holding you both in my arms. I just hope I get to experience that again someday. I love you. Forever and Always, Spencer.

I had this sudden urge to break everything around me. My knees buckled from underneath me and I couldn't stop the loud sobs that left my mouth. I didn't even notice Delilah entered the room until she put her little hand on my shoulder.

I wrapped my arms around her, crying into her shoulder. I could tell I was making her upset, but I couldn't stop.

"I'm sorry, mommy. Will cuddles make you feel better?"

I pulled back and wiped the tears from my eyes.

"That would help, baby. I'm sorry about this."

She placed her little hands on my cheeks, a small smile on her face.

"It's okay to cry, mommy. You and daddy taught me that it's better to let it out than to keep it all in. Cuddles always help me."

"You're right, sweetie. Cuddles sound like a good idea."

We had bundled up together and put on a movie. For a six year old, she always seems to be right. Snuggling up with her did make me feel better.

While we were drifting off on the couch, my mind was racing. When he brought up the incident in his letter, my heart sank.

Some years ago, I had been kidnapped by my abusive step dad. Spencer had watched him hurt me and put me into a coma right in front of him. I was out for over a month and it was the worst time in Spencer's life. Every day, I could hear him beside my hospital bed, sounding so broken and scared. I never wanted something like that to happen to him again, but I wasn't there to stop it.

Later, an idea popped into my head. I have a couple tattoos and I've always wanted to get one for Spencer. So far I had 2. A purple tulip on my left wrist and Delilah's name on my left forearm.

That letter of his gave me more motivation to go out and get one. And I had the perfect idea of what it would be.

Tattoos are cool. I give them to my characters because I haven't gotten one yet, lol. But I hope you guys are enjoying the story so far!