Recap...

I wish I got there earlier. I don't know how long she was up there. Maybe if I got there sooner this wouldn't have happened.

Kiera:

There are bruises around my waist and around my thighs. Hand prints. It doesn't take me any longer to remember what happened. Liam got me a drink and it was drugged then Chantel's friend lead me upstairs. How did he drug me though. I watched him pour it. Oh. The fucking bottle was drugged. And I got even more drugging myself even more. It's all my fault. Tears flow down my cheeks. Chantel must be a part of this. And Daniel to. He's been trying to get in my pants ever since I met him. I can't believe I let myself get raped again.

"Hey it's ok," Adonis says coming into the room. He goes to touch me but I pull away. He looks pained but covers it up and says, "I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that. Are you in any pain right now, should I get you pain killers?" He looks like he genuinely cares. I relax a little bit. I think he's oblivious to the fact this is partly Chantel's fault. "I-im in a little pain," I say wiping my tears to try and stop crying. It doesn't work. He nods and leaves I assume to go get pain killers.

He comes back a little while later with food and pain killers I take them and he hesitantly gets on the opposite side of them bed. "My mom made breakfast, you should eat," he says. I look for any signs of lies, when I see none I nod and start eating. I finish and wipe away any tears left on my face. I don't deserve to cry. "Your mom's a good cook," I say. He smiles a bit. He has dimples, they're so cute. "What happened last night," I ask him. He looks a little sad before saying, "I found you in the guest room with 6 guys around you. You were being raped so I beat them up and took you here. My doctor checked up on you and sayed there isn't any significant damage just bruises and some pain. After she confirmed you were physically ok I told her to put you in my hoodie and I took you back to my room to sleep," he says. I look at him confused. Why would he do that for me. "I-i didn't sleep in the bed with you, I slept on the couch," he says. He looked scared for a minute. I laughed lightly. "I figured," I said. He nods. If he made sure that the doctor dressed me than I'm sure he didn't sleep in the same bed.

"What time is it," I ask. I need to get "home" now. It's already morning. "6:10," he says. Fuck. "I need to go, my cousins will kill me," I say standing up. This time with no pain. Adonis nods and says, "Ok I'll drive you, let me just get you some sweatpants," he says and runs to the closet. He comes back a few seconds later and hands me the sweatpants turning around so I could slip them on. The sweatshirt is so big it covered my body from him. He didn't have to turn around. But the gesture was nice. I finish putting them on and tell him let's go.

He doesn't miss a beat and leads me out of the apartment to his car. He starts driving. "Oh what's your address?" He asks. I tell him and he drives me there I told him to park a little bit away so I sneak in. I crawl through the window and am relieved when I see my light still off and my pillows there. I put the pillows back and mess up the bed a bit. My bed always looks messy when I wake up because of my nightmares. After I do that I rush to my closet and hide Adonis's clothes in the back of my closet grabbing some of my own lounge clothes and going to the bathroom locking the door behind me.

I don't even bother looking at myself in the mirror. I'm sure I look like shit. I step into my hot shower and start cleaning myself up. I see all the bruises and hickeys on me and start scrubbing harder. I feel like I can feel them on me. I scrub harder and harder eventually collapsing on the floor of the shower and crying. It hurts so much. Just make it stop please. Why me? Why does this always happen to me?

I get out of my shower ignoring the pain coming from my body. I definitely hurt my skin. But that isn't enough. I grab a blade and go back to the shower sitting down. I cut myself once, for having nightmares every night. I cut myself a second time, for getting abused by my brother. I cut myself a third time, for going that party. I cut myself a fourth time for accepting a drink. And I cut myself a fifth time deeper than the rest, for getting raped again. I'm losing a lot of blood. I just watch it flow down the drain. Maybe I'll finally die I think before passing out.

I wasn't that lucky. I wake up a couple hours later with someone banging on my bathroom door. "Kiera answer me, are you ok," I hear Santo say. I gather the energy to respond. "I'm ok," I say. I hear him sigh loudly. "I was getting worried, you didn't answer me the first two times I called you. It's 8:30, I'm leaving for work. We'll all be out for the day ok," he says. "Ok," I respond. He says I love you and I say it back. I shut the now cold water off and stand up. I can't even kill myself properly. Did I really want to die though? I need to at least live for my kids. They'd probably be better off with Toby anyways though.

I walk over to the sink and wash off the blood. The water from the shower wasn't aimed at my arm so I have blood all over it. After doing that I go back into the shower and pick up the blade and hiding it before stepping back inside to rinse the rest of the blood off my body then rinsing the shower down so there were no traces of blood left. I grab the first aid kit and use antiseptic to clean my wounds before bandaging my arm and get dressed before I walk out of the bathroom.