Recap...

I continue having a panic attack but I hear someone unlocking the bathroom door. I feel them come closer and hug me. I lean into it, it's nice having comfort. I don't care who it's from anymore I just need it.

Kiera:

It's been about a week since I had my break down. I wished I would've known earlier that my cousins have the keys to my bedroom and my bathroom. At least it was only Alfeo that came in though, he didn't even tell Allessandro what I did to myself which I'm grateful for. It came with a price though. Now I have to go to him whenever I start to get thoughts about hurting myself. It sucks but I think I'm starting to trust him. He's kind of like Santo.

Lately though I just feel this numbness. Like I'm close to feeling something but I can't quite feel it. I'm in pain but I can't feel it. I know I have emotions but I can't feel them. It's like I have everything trying to get in but I can't feel it. Everyday I just go through the motions. Eat, act like the "perfect girl" to my cousins, go to school, try to avoid Adonis as best I can, come home and act "perfect" again, sleep, have a nightmare, and then repeat. That's all I do. And everything just passes by like a blur.

Ever since the poster situation my cousins either look at me with disgust or pity. I hate it. They still talk to me but there's something different about it. I can't tell what it is but it's just different. Even with Alfeo. Although I don't get to many looks from him ever since I told him I hated pity, he still talks to me differently. It's like they know something I don't or they've done something bad. It's weird. Because last time I checked these men don't feel guilty about anything they do.

Alfeo parks the car once we get to school and I get out. He waves goodbye and I do the same before I turn and walk into the school. The posters were taken care of the day they happened but that didn't stop the entire school from seeing them. I now hate this school even more. Everyone has their own opinions about what happened even though the majority believe I was raped they came to different conclusions about that. Some think I wanted it, some blame the outfit I was wearing, some think it's my fault, and others understand what rape is so they blame the men that did it to me and the person that shared those posters. I hate all the attention that the situation brought me.

As if it isn't hard enough to heal from now I have to deal with teenagers that don't understand the meaning a word. There are also so many rumors about what happened. My favorite is the rumor that this was planned by me and the guys as a kink thing. Like how stupid can teenagers get? Actually. I might give them a little credit because they did find out who the men were considering half the football team haven't been to school since the situation and they have all been marked missing. Although to them it's just rumors that it was them. They have somewhat figured it out. Wether they believe it or not. So many girls have said that because they're "hot" they could've never done such a horrible thing. Looks aren't a factor in crimes.

I make it to first hour and sit down. Adonis comes in not long after and sits next me. He does this now every chance he gets he sits next to me. I don't even know why. Whenever someone says they care about me there's always something else they want from me. And the only thing men have ever wanted from me my entire life has either been to hurt me or have sex with me. The only people that haven't have been Tony and Santo. Maybe Alfeo as well. I still don't trust Adonis and I don't think I could ever trust another guy again.

I'm glad though. He didn't try to talk to me the whole day, he just watched me or sat next to me. He does this some days other days he'll try to talk to me. He says it's because he wants to protect me. I don't believe it for a second though. He's just nice to talk to sometimes. Only when I want to though. It's either annoying or nice. And I don't care who he anymore. Even though I don't trust him. He hasn't tried to hurt me, yet.

The school day ends like usual and I enter Alfeo's car. Once we get home I go straight to my room. Not long after Allessandro comes in. Without knocking. "Kiera," he says coldly as he walks, no, more like stalks over to me. "I have some important people coming tonight so I want you to act accordingly and wear what I had Antonio put in your closet, ok," he says. He's like a robot. Showing no emotion and cold. "Ok," I say. He nods and then says "Come down at the usual dinner time and stay up here until then." He walks away when I nod and shuts the door.

I wonder who's coming? What if they're like the Kings? I hate the Kings. I roll my eyes. I don't like the majority of the people in this house anyone who deals with them I'll probably hate as well. I don't have the will power to care anymore so I just watch TV until it's almost 7:00. I'm assuming Allessandro also wants me to do my hair and makeup for this as well so I go get my outfit and get ready. Once I finish I look at myself in the mirror. This outfit is completely unlike what Allessandro would chose. Why would he let me wear this? I check the time and realize it's 6:57 so I have no time to add anything to cover myself. I just leave the bathroom and rush downstairs. It takes awhile to get through all the hallways so I need all the time I can get to get to the dining room on time. Luckily I did. I don't want to deal with an angry Allessandro.

Her outfit.