Y/n pov

I was getting dressed for my new job since my last one went sorta bad

Flashback

Y/n: welcome to hells kitchen what can I get you

Karen: first of all your the guy who ruined our meal aren't you

Y/n: uh no ma'am -

Karen: where's your manger

Y/n: not here

Karen: well find him, or my boyfriend here is gonna send you on a first-class trip to sleep

The make demon walks up the same height as y/n but slimmer

Demon: you heard her

Y/n:...(inhales then exhales) ma'am if, you know what fuck this

Then y/n proceeds to rip the males head off and hands it to the woman

Y/n: find him Yourself

Flashback over

Y/n pov

Y/n: good times, hey loona you ready yet

I looked back as she was still under the sheets

Loona: no im in pain, and it's all your fault dick

Y/n: I didn't hear you complaining yesterday
Oh, y/n harder~ break me~

Loona: fuck you asshole, where are you even going

Y/n: to this new job I found, seems like it's up my ally, besides they just need a bodyguard

Loona: well don't kill this one

Y/n: I'll try not to, now get your ass up I gotta lock this place up and you got work right

Loona: oh fuck, I do

She finally got off the bed and was but naked as she looked back at me

Loona: what?

Y/n: mmm, one more time

Loona: wait what

Then I grabbed her and started kissing on her neck while rubbing her pussy and breast at the same time

Loona: no, ah~ I have to go to ah~ work

Y/n: fuck work, I wanna fuck your brains out

Loona: I spoiled you too much

Timeskip

Loona pov

In the room with the imps as they were talking about something dumb again but I couldn't focus because of how much pain I was in

Loona: (fucking y/n he just had to go another round now it hurts to fucking move )

Then I got a text from him

Y/n- you okay baby girl😀👍

Loona- no my pussy feels like hell thanks to you fucker🖕 go to work already

Y/n- im at the building now

Blizto: hey loony who are you texting

Loona: none of your business

Moxie: id like to go on record that dispatch is supposed to give us the right info on a target it's very simple

Loona: oh sit on a dick moxie

Moxie: you sit! Sit on...a...and the...DO YOUR JOB!!!

Blizto: hey we don't blame our screw-ups on loona she didn't do anything wrong (hugging loona)

Loona:(growling)

Moxie: are you kidding me sir she's awful

Flashback

Loona was reading hell hound monthly when the phone started ringing so she picked it up

Loona: hello imp

Millie: loona I got stabbed call mo-

Then she hung up the phone

Next

blitzo: happy adoption anniversary loonie I got you a little something

Loona: is it a cure for syphilis

Blitzo:...i...oh

Loona: THEN I DONT WANT IT!!!

She grabbed the present flaming it on the ground as spiders crawling all over her body

Loona: ugh!

Blitzo:(outside on window perch) im sorry blood spiders

Loona: goddamnit

Next

Loona was watching a music video on the computer when moxie walked up to her

Moxie: um excuse me did you just fax me an ad for weight loss

Loona: no

Moxie: w-what, why would anyone send me this

Loona: come on you know why

Next

Loona was digging through the fridge for the food

Loona: whoever bought the fucking avocado salad im taking it because I have the worst hangover right now

Millie: why would you drink on a work night

Loona: im hungover from this morning dumbass

Then moxie walked in

Moxie: isn't that my lunch

Loona: you know what I can't take this right now I need to go blow off some fucking steam

She then proceeds to run outside the building and put kick a baby in a stroller like it was the NFL and she was paid to do it

Next

Loona answered the phone and it was stolas
Looking for blitzo

Loona: blitz that really rich asshole is on the phone and he said it's urgent, wants to talk to you. Sounds a little dtf

Blitzo: oh God it was one time! If I hadn't slept with that privileged asshole none of us would have access to the living world

Moxie:... you what

Loona: BLITZ

blitzo: I HEARD YOU!

Flashback over

Loona pov

Blitzo: look the point she is a valued member of our family and we don't get rid of family

Moxie: we aren't a family sir you are the boss we are the employees you treat her like she is some troubled teenager. She's more like a meth-addicted homeless person you let man the phones

Loona:🖕

Blitzo: that is offensive without homeless people I wouldn't have half the joy and laughter I do in this life

Then he walked towards the window and laughed

Blitzo: speaking of employees we've got a new guy coming in today

Millie: a new guy?

Moxie: sir we don't have money for another employee

Blitzo: well good thing I hired him as a bodyguard

Loona:(wait~)

Then there was a knock at the door

Blitzo: that must be him

He went towards the door and opened it

Blitzo: everyone I'd like you all to meet our new bodyguard hellhound that fucks the most ass in hell y/n l/n

Y/n: sup

Loona:(oh shit)

Millie: oh his fur is so different

Then millie began touching him and rubbing his head

Loona: (growling)

Blizto: you okay there loonie

Loona: yeah im

She looked up as y/n was about to laugh

Y/n:(snorts) loonie

Loona: oh my God

Blitzo: well y/n this is the group this, thats millie, over there is her shrimp dick husband moxie

Moxie: hey!

Blitzo: im blitzo your boss also the o is silent and then over here is the love of my life loonie

Y/n:(trying not to laugh) hello everyone, loonie

Loona:(puts head on desk)

Y/n pov

I sat down next to loona as blitzo looks at me

Loona: this was your job

Y/n: surprise~

Blitzo: you two know each other

Y/n: well yeah she my-(loona covers mouth)

Loona: childhood friend

Y/n: right~

Moxie: can we get back on topic here sir

Blitzo: what about the family thing

Moxie: no but we can add that to the conversation can, you please stop finding me and millie outside of work

Millie: Oh come on moxie it's not that bad

Moxie: im sorry, WHAT!

Y/n: thats funny

Moxie: just stop doing that

Blitzo: I don't see what the issue is it is something that you don't want me to see

Moxie:...no

Blitzo: you a baby Weiner haver

Loona&y/n:(laughing)

Moxie: sir! What you say and how you act is totally INAPPROPRIATE!!!

Millie: calm down mox you gonna have another panic attack

Moxie: I AM CALM!

Then Billie starts rubbing his head like a baby

Y/n: someone's got small people anger

Blitzo: look I don't judge the boring couple stuff you do outside of work hours so don't judge me

Moxie: oh I do judge you sir quite alot actually

Millie: moxie he's our boss

Blitzo: no, no, no it's fine your husband is just (sigh) how do I say this without offensive. Retarted

Moxie: does immaturely it's helping me make you feel better about yourself sad single life

Blitzo: it actually does yes

Loona: the only reason you have a girlfriend is because you're easy to manage

Millie: No He's Not You Bitch!

Loona:(growling)

Blitzo: hey! Do not talk to my receptionist that way she's sensitive

Loona: yes I am

Y/n: yo this is better than comedies

???: you guys are all fucking assholes

We all looked back as the kid on a stretcher was awake

Y/n: why is there a human child here

Loona: because moxie can shoot the backside of a mountain

Moxie: this company is such a mess

Nobody pov

???: God can you all shut up! It's been a little hell trying to pretend I'm paralyzed so you fuck shits wouldn't kill me but now I want that I want the sweet release of death

Then he points at blitzo

???: you are a selfish greedy clown and I'm a kid we're supposed to like clowns even the creepy ones

Moxie: hey not thats

???: if I wanted to hear from a spineless jackass and rip out your spine and ask it some shit

Millie: thats my husband your talking too

???: hehehe thats your husband, id figure you for a slut but I don't know you needed dick that bad, and you two

Loona: yeah

Y/n: something you wanna say

???: no I don't have anything to say I don't talk dogs and im more of a cat person

Y/n&loona: 💢💢💢💢

Blitzo: wow you know kid you kinda are a piece of shit

Then loona phone rang

Loona: oh fuck guys I just got a message from our client. Guess he was the right target after all

Blitzo: who

Loona: him

???: me!?

Loona: yep

Blitzo: they wanted us to kill an actual child

Loona: thats why there saying

Then y/n mauled the boy into little pieces and then whipped the blood off his lips

Y/n: okay I feel better now, what

Blitzo: well we need to handle this respectfully

In the human world

Lady: please if anyone has seen my boy please contact me - ahhh!!!

She screamed as the bloody body bag of the boy landed in her hands as she looked up

Blitzo: you're welcome

Y/n: suck it bitch!

Back in the demon world

Y/n pov

Blitzo: welcome to the family y/n also don't be late tomorrow

Y/n: gotcha

The three imps left as loona and I were the only ones

Y/n: so im assuming you don't want to tell your dad I've been banging his daughter

Loona: first stepdad okay, second no

Y/n: I don't see why not

Loona: because he'll freak and you are the only boy I've been with since being with him, right now he thinks I own my own house

Y/n: thats sad

Loona: yeah so no spilling the beans unite I say so

Y/n: really

Loona: fucking yes

Y/n: thats fine but I get booty privileges anytime I want

Loona: don't push your luck I've been in pain all day because of you now let's go home

Y/n: damn it's like you've already moved in

Loona: bring your ass!

Y/n: alright already! Loonie

Loona: don't call me that!
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