🍏 Thirty

In the sunny, early morning after another invigorating workout, Layla followed Dawson through the rows of apple trees. It was a walk together, disguised as a tour while he checked for any warning signs of pests or disease before the next season.

Kenzie and Marshall were gone for the morning to see the latest updates on the construction of their house. Jack was cooped up in his office like usual, and Adam was busy manning the store like always. Apart from the few other workers like Lee and Frank, who were scattered around the orchard, no one was around to catch them. Still, Layla's mind raced with worryβ€”what if someone saw them in a compromising position and word got back to Kenzie? If they were careless, it could ruin everything.

"So when fall's over, what then?" Layla questioned as the leaves rustled over their heads. Birds chirped from somewhere nearby, and the gentle breeze caressed her skin. Soon, she knew, the weather would turn blustery and eventually bitter cold. The hills would be covered in brilliant, sparkling white, and the trees would bare themselves for the winter. "Do you get a break in the winter?"

An amused sound came from his throat. "Hardly. We spend most of the winter planning as much as we can for the entirety of the next year. And with the way Jack's been lately, getting a new idea every week, I'll be lucky if he doesn't want to turn this place into a damn Christmas tree farm."

She laughed, but the joke had her mind wandering. What was a McAden Christmas like? That beautiful living room was probably brightened with a real tree, not like the artificial one her parents pulled out of storage every year. She pictured old, colorful ornaments, each with its own story. Homemade pies and cookies for Santa. Piles of thoughtful gifts under the tree for everyone to open in their warmest pajamas.

Warm, cozy, and fun. Even they had their problems, she knewβ€”Jack and Dawson always at each others throats, and Cliff being gone for so many years now without so much as a visit. But despite it, she found herself yearning to be a part of the memories they all shared. She got the feeling that most people wouldn't be lucky enough to have ones half as pleasant.

"So... what if you end up staying?" Dawson asked, hand brushing against hers. The desire to link their fingers together ached in her chest, but she knew it was too much of a risk. "What happens with your parents?"

"Well..." Layla thought about it for a second, letting her gaze move up to the blue sky littered with fluffy white clouds. It was a question she'd been thinking a lot about herself, lately. If it wasn't for the weight of the merger that was resting on her shoulders, the answer would be a lot more optimistic. But as it was, she knew the damage would take time to repair.

"They'd forgive me," she finally answered. "If I leave the businessβ€”the mergerβ€”they'll be angry, I know that. But I can deal with that. What I'm more worried about is them being upset, or offended. They've worked so hard, and I'll be throwing their gift of a secure future right in their face."

"You have a right to your own life, Layla."

"I know. And in their own way, they know that, too. I just don't know if they'll ever understand. They'll forgive me for it, and eventually I think they'll even support me. But I just can't picture them ever really getting it."

"You know, my parents didn't understand why my brother wanted to be a musician at first."

The words had Layla turning to him in abrupt surprise. It didn't align with how she thought of Roman and Lillie Mae, especially since they always seemed to mention their oldest son with such pride. "Really?"

Dawson nodded. "Dad wanted Cliff to own this place someday. Mom was just worried he'd never make itβ€”but she'd never admit to that now."

"How'd he change their minds?"

Dawson grinned. "He didn't give 'em a choice, really. He kept playing until he was so good they couldn't pretend he was meant to do anything else. You'll prove yourself, Layla. When your parents see how much it means to you, how capable you are... they'll come around."

"Yeah. Maybe. I mean, it's not like they're bad parents. I don't want to make it seem like that. They just..." She sighed, shrugging. It was hard to describe it to someone else, when it was just something she understood after living with it all her life. "They want the best for me. In their eyes, that means success, money, security, you know? The two of them never put much focus on friendship, or love, or anything like that."

"Do you think they love each other?" he asked, voice all curiosity, no judgment.

"I think in their own way, they do," she answered truthfully. "They're a good match, and they respect each other. But if you mean love as in passion, or romance, then I'm not sure. Honestly, I think they never had the time for that kind of stuff. It's always been a surprise to me that they even decided to have me."

"I don't think most people consider love something you have to set time aside for. It's just... there."

"I know, I guess. But things are so fast-paced in their lives. You finish one thing, meet one milestone, and you're onto the next before you even get a chance to celebrate. Half the things they get invited toβ€”movie premieres, celebrity weddingsβ€”they don't even go. They're too caught up in whatever their next project is."

"Well, I guess I can respect the ambition, at least. But it's all reminding me of Jack. All work, no play. Jesus, you should've seen the way he looked at me the first time I used that Shining line on him."

Layla laughed at the thought. "No, I see your point. It's one of the reasons I like it here so much. I like the slowness. The fact that I just get to... be."

Dawson slowed to a stop beside her, and stepped forward so that her back was to one of the blossoming trees. He reached out, tucking away a strand of hair that had escaped her barrette in the breeze. "I hope it's not all you like."

She managed to shake her head, pulse pounding. They were so exposed, so out in the open, and yet she couldn't force herself to move away from his touch. "I can think of a few other things I might like a little more."

With a sly smile, he leaned in for a kiss, slow and sweet.

Layla murmured against his mouth, "We could get caught," even as she did nothing to fight him off.

He leaned back, still smiling. "I know. It's kind of exciting, don't you think?"

She giggled, but stopped short as his eyes went to something behind her and widened. He straightened, taking a long step backwards.

When he spoke again, his voice was casual and loud. "And that's how we... protect the trees from, uh, bugs. In the spring. Hi, Annie."

Layla's heart rate skyrocketed as she turned, catching a glimpse of the pale blonde hair through the leaves of the tree she'd been leaning against.

Annie smiled brightly, lifting one hand from her camera to wave at them. If she'd seen what they were doing, she was a damn good actress. "Hi! You're teaching Layla about the trees?"

He nodded, and Layla noticed with a surge of girlish giddiness that there was a flush of color on his face. "Yeah. Just some of the basics."

Annie walked over to them, sneakers crunching some of the fallen leaves that were scattered among the grass. "It's fascinating, isn't it?" she asked Layla. "I had to proofread all the information that Jack gave me for the fun-facts portion of the website. I never imagined I'd have a job that would teach me so much about trees."

"He had you make a fun-facts page for the website?" Dawson's eyebrows rose, voice filled with disbelief.

Annie narrowed her eyes, but smiled. "So this is how I find out you haven't looked at all my hard work."

"Guilty," he admitted. "Sorry. In my defense, I spend about as much time online as my sixty year old father."

"What are the pictures for today?" Layla finally managed to speak, pointing to the device around her neck.

"Oh, I'm just getting some content for the Instagram and Facebook pages. Mostly just some filler pictures for fall, which I figure are easiest to take in one go. I was actually just heading backβ€”I should get home and start editing these before I lose my momentum."

"I'll see you at dinner," Layla said with a wave. Dawson waved too, and the two of them shared a look once Annie's back was turned.

"Well," he breathed, scratching the back of his neck. "You weren't kidding about us maybe getting caught. She's like a mouseβ€”I didn't even hear her."

Layla laughed, but there was a foreign feeling in the pit of her stomach. It was something almost like anger. Why was she keeping them a secret? Why did she want so badly to go to Dawson and wrap her arm around his waist when he was talking to Annie?

"You're having dinner at Annie's?" he asked as they started walking again.

"Yes. Or, noβ€”" she tried to ground herself, tried to organize her thoughts. "Gabriela's coming home tonight, so Kenzie's treating us all to dinner at Rushing Waters. Did Annie ask you about taking pictures of you for the website?"

At the time, she hadn't thought anything of it. She'd been too caught up in her head, thinking that it meant Annie knew her and Dawson's big secret. But why did she want pictures of Dawson? Why not Jack, or Adam, or any of the other employees at the orchard?

He nodded, looking amused at the idea. "Yeah, she did. Wants a candid picture of me working for the website banner. She told you about it?"

"Yeah, she asked me if I thought you'd be up for it."

He glanced at her with a smirk. "I guess she can tell we're close."

"What if she can't?" The question was quiet as it escaped her, and he stopped to look at her, head tilting in confusion.

"What do you mean?"

She could feel her face heating up, palms getting clammy. "I don't know. I'm..." She raised her hand to wave the topic away. "I don't know what I'm saying."

The grin that came to his face was slow, as the understanding that eluded Layla seemed to dawn on him. "You're worried she's into me."

"Iβ€”" Her eyes went wide, mouth opening for a response that wouldn't form. "That'sβ€”I mean..."

"She took a picture of Adam working in the store," he said, and she felt the worry dissolve in her chest. "And one of some of the guys picking apples. As sorry as I am to say, since jealousy does look so cute on you, I don't think Annie sees me that way."

"I'm not jealous," the words rushed out of her, but she knew they weren't true. He gave her a look that told her he saw right through the argument, anyways. "Okay, so maybe you're right. She just... seemed to warm up to you fast. And if she doesn't know about us, then there's nothing stopping her from seeing you that way."

"She's coming out of her shell because of you and Kenz, is all. She was all chatty with Adam in the store yesterday, too. Well, chatty for her, anyway."

Layla softened, knowing he was probably right. She should be happy that Annie was finally getting comfortable with everyone, instead of worrying that she might be trying to flirt with her...

My what? Layla asked herself. Her secret lover? The man she was having an affair with? Until she came clean about everything, they would never have an official title. Not one that didn't make her feel like the villain on some soap opera, anyway. And as long as they were a secret, there would be other women, ones who were actually interested. Women who didn't know he was involved, who would try to flirt or seduce.

Even though she knew he wouldn't entertain the advances, just the thought of it stung. The thought was primal and embarrassing, but she couldn't deny it: she wanted to claim what was hers.

"All this secret keeping..." she trailed off with a sigh. "Between the lying and now... this," she didn't have it in herself to admit to the jealousy twice, "I'm beginning to think it's doing more harm than good. I've been thinking about it a lot, you know. About telling the truth."

"Well, you know how I feel about it," he said. "I just want you to be sure, Layla. I don't want you to feel like you have to."

"I'm sure." It was a surprise to her even as she said it, but it was the truth. Every ounce of her wanted to come clean. Wanted to give everyone the truths that they deserved to know. Wanted to stop trying to protect herself from opening up, from letting anyone in.

He cupped her face in his hands and placed a kiss on the tip of her nose, resting there in silence for a second. When he pulled away, his gaze was gentle, voice soft, "Whenever you're ready, I'm with you."

As she moved in to kiss him, it felt like her heart was swaddled, like every worry and fear melted away in an instant. It was scary in the best way, to realize that nothing had ever made her feel as safe as those words.Β 

I missed saturday smh 🀑

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