🍎 Nineteen

Layla stayed in her room all the way into the afternoon, pretending to work. She made an attempt to, but only ended up sitting at the small desk and staring out at the orchard thinking about what happened in the kitchen. One minute she was applauding herself for doing the right thing by getting out of there, and the next she was furious with herself for leaving.Β 

Of course, she didn't have to guess what would have happened. But now she'd never know how it would have felt. She'd spend the rest of her time here wondering what it would have felt like to kiss him, to let everything else go just for that moment.

It was around four when her phone rang, jolting her out of her daydreams. To her surprise, Colin's name lit up the screen.

They'd texted a bit since her first night, just pleasantries about her making it there okay and if she liked where she was staying. She decided not to mention that she was staying at the orchard instead of the lodge in townβ€”it was a detail that he would no doubt scrutinize for its lack of professionalism.

She picked up the phone with a furrowed brow. "Hello?"

Not exactly the lovey-dovey greeting that one might expect from an engaged couple, she thought bitterly. If it wasn't so depressing, it would almost be funny how un-couple-like they were.

"Layla." His voice was steady, but hesitant. "Hi."

"Hi," she greeted again, her body prickling with anxiety at the apprehension in his tone. It was strange enough for him to call, but now she knew for sure that something was wrong. "What's up?"

It wasn't five yet,Β  which meant he'd still be at work--even if he didn't need to be. Being a workaholic was basically the one thing they had in common. "Just... checking in."

"Oh." She decided to play along, even being almost certain that curiosity wasn't the reason for his call at all. "Well, everything's great here. Kenzie and Marshall are really happy with their progress." When he stayed silent, she prodded, "How are things there?"

"Well..." There was a long pause, then a sigh. "That's actually why I'm calling."

She sat up a little straighter, the worry in her gut doubling at the confirmation. Was it something with her parents? Did something happen to the gym? Or had the merger gone sour? "What is it?"

"It's..." Another sigh from Colin had Layla rolling her eyes with impatience. "It's this, Layla. It's the bootcamp. My parents sat down with yours this morning, and it's just not gonna work."

"Whβ€”" Her anxiety turned to anger in a quick, hot flash. "I haven't even finished the test run! How the hell can anyone say if it'll work or not? They haven't seen the results, they haven't seen the numbers!"

"They don't like it, Layla." His tone was stern, words sharper than they had been a moment ago. "It's as simple as that. It's too much of a diversion, it takes away from the focus of the business."

"I was under the impression that the focus of the business was helping people get healthy."

"You know what they mean. We're gym based. Our focus should be on more gyms, more classes, more products. They don't think we need a random venture tacked onto the business. They don't want to go that wide. It's not personal."

She didn't replyβ€”she knew the words that came out of her would be ones she could never take back.

"They wanted me to tell you, so that you weren't disappointed when you came back."

This time the venom came pouring out of her before she could stop it. "If I wasn't disappointed, it wouldn't feel like home."Β 

With that she hung up, tossing her phone onto the desk. She shouldn't have been surprised, and she knew that. It was crazy of her to think this ever would have been approved, but she did. She let herself believe in miracles againβ€”without even realizing. And look what became of it, she thought.

Her phone rang againβ€”this time, it was the word Dad that flashed on screen. She clenched her jaw and stood harshly enough to send the wheeled desk chair skidding across the floor. If her father was calling that soon after Colin, then...

They'd been in the same room! Probably had her on speakerphone, all without her even knowing. Good, she thought with a wave of fury, storming over to the dresser. Let them know exactly how she felt. There was a small wave of gloating triumph knowing they heard just how loveless a conversation was between her and Colin. Let them know the truth, too. Let them have to deal with whatever guilt or regret it makes them feel for setting it all up in the first place.

She yanked out a sports bra, tank top, and a pair of running shorts from the drawer, slamming it shut. After changing in a haze of anger--strewing her clothes onto the floor without a care-- she grabbed her shoes from the closet with a huff and tugged them on.

Her phone rang again, but she ignored the call from her mother as well, silencing the device and leaving it sitting on the desk. Praying not to run into anyone while in such a sour mood, she hurried downstairs and outside, needing the fresh air and the ache of a good workout.Β 

Let it ring, she thought as she closed the front door behind her. Let it ring a thousand times for all I care.

The run she took around the grounds wasn't like the gentle ones she'd been taking Kenzie and Marshall on. No, she needed a release, an outlet for all the anger that was simmering inside of her and threatening to boil over. She kept the pace brutal, and used a route that had her going up hills and over rough terrain.

Her lungs burned with satisfaction, legs basking in their power. After a while it felt like she could run forever, and there was a part of her that wanted to. Wanted to just take off, become someone else, start over.

But unless she was planning on getting amnesia, there was no way she could ever really have a clean slate, no matter how far she got from New York. Even if everything around her was unfamiliar, everything inside would still be the same.

She looped around after a while and slowed her pace as she approached the wedding barn, starting her cool-down. Even after all that, she was still angry, and now that time had passed the sting of disappointment was starting to settle in as wellβ€”not only in the loss of the boot camp, but in herself for ever thinking it could succeed.

When she got to the crest of the hill, she let herself come to a stop as exhaustion washed over her. Nothing like a double dose of sadness to knock the wind right out of a fury-induced workout. It was all too muchβ€”she wanted to cry, to scream, and for what? Over a silly little business idea?

"Layla?"

She looked over at the sound of the gentle voice and locked gazes with Annie, whose eyes widened. Layla realized she must have looked like a madwoman: sweaty, red-faced, and no doubt showing all the anger she hadn't bothered to hide.

She did her best to soften her expression. "Hi."

"Are..." Annie hesitated, fiddling with the camera in her hands and seeming afraid to ask the obvious question. "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," Layla answered instinctively, then shook her head on a harsh breath. She turned away, but looking out over the rows of trees only made her heart tear more as the truth escaped her. "No, not really. My fiancΓ© called. The boot camp is over. Once I'm done here, I'm done."

Annie knew about the trial-run, Layla knew, because she'd explained how she'd started the program during their workout the other morning. "Oh, Layla. I'm sorry."

"It's..." She shrugged, facing Annie again, whose scared look had melted into sympathy. "I just wanted one thingβ€”one thingβ€” to myself. I've been fully dedicated to the business since the day I left high school, and I figured my parents would recognize that, that they'd agree I earned it, you know? But before the trial run is even over they kick it to the curb!"

She knew she was rambling and that her voice was raising again, but she couldn't stop her flaring temper. "I mean, God! I've been working my ass off for years, I do everything they askβ€”I'm marrying a man I don't even have feelings for just for the business, and they can't even let me have this one thing!"

A blush rose to Annie's cheeks, causing Layla's brain to catch up with her mouth and realize that she'd just completely unloaded onto her. Not only that, but she'd spilled the beans on her relationship with Colin.

"Sorry," she apologized, running a hand over her forehead. What was she turning into, letting her feelings overflow like that?

"Don't be. Do you want to come in and sit down? To talk about it?" Annie asked, gesturing to the open barn behind her.

She was sure that if there was ever a good listener on the planet, it was Annie. But as tempting as the offer was, she couldn't accept it. She'd gone too far into this rabbit hole, and it was time to start digging herself out before it got too hard.

Layla shook her head again. "No, I'm... I'm sorry. I didn't mean to explode like thatβ€”I'll be okay."

"Are you sure? I just finished up with work, soβ€”" she stopped when Layla held up a hand.

"Thanks, Annie, but I'll be fine. I just need a shower and some time to think. I'll see you," she said, jogging away before she could change her mind.

She'd gone a long time without the comforting words of a friend, and she didn't need to start relying on them now. She wouldn't have them back in New York, so there was no good in getting used to having them here. She'd get through this on her own, just like she always did.

Soon, things would be back to normal. This change of scenery would all be over, just a distant memory of fresh air, the wide open country, and the fresh, never-ending yearning in her heart.

How had she already grown so comfortable here? Somewhere deep down, she'd managed to convince herself that it wouldn't be over so soon. But the fact was, it was already coming to an end. She'd be back home before she knew it.

Maybe if there were other brides and grooms, other trips away from the city, she could always have this feeling of freedom and possibility. Like she was on the cusp of a better life, like she could outrun reality just for a moment and pretend it was permanent.

But now there was no hope for even that. She had to wonder if it mattered, and decided it probably didn't. She doubted that anywhere would ever feel the same as here.


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