Hawks had woken up a while ago, but he didn't even dare to open his eyes, or at least the one that wasn't covered with bandages. He just laid there, his back feeling like it was still on fire. Hawks could smell burnt skin and feathers, and he was quite sure he would never get that smell out of his nose. When he finally opened his eyes and looked around, he saw you. You were sprawled out on the armchair in the most uncomfortable looking position, just sleeping and he couldn't help but chuckle. Even though that hurt his back so much he wanted to cry.

You stirred awake as you heard a small chuckle from the bed. Honestly you hadn't been sure you would ever hear that sound again. The chuckle was quickly followed by a groan of pain.

"Keigo?" you muttered as your eyes fluttered open.

"Yeah, it's me...alive and... well?" he tried to joke.

"Omg, you're awake" you exclaimed as the tears started pooling in your eyes.

You were going to hug him, but you stopped yourself just before you touched him. He must have been in immense amounts of pain, and the last thing you wanted to do was to add to it. Hawks noticed your hesitation and sighed: "Thanks, I'm not really in any condition to hug you right now"

"You're in a lot of pain, aren't you?" you asked and wiped your eyes on your sleeve as you sat back down.

"Nah" he said, trying to laugh it off, but you could see the pain in his eyes.

"You don't have to lie to me Keigo, I can see you're hurt, and not just physically"

There was a while of silence, which was quite unusual whenever Hawks was around. Usually he didn't know when or how to shut up. You put your hand on his and squeezed it, trying to convey your support through your touch.

"I'm never gonna fly again" he said quietly and you could see the tears rolling down his cheek. "I'm never gonna fly again" he repeated more frantically.

You didn't say anything, you couldn't, because you knew that telling him that what he was thinking wasn't right, would be a lie. You lying to him wouldn't bring his wings back, it wouldn't make him whole.

Hawks didn't know how to feel. His wings were gone and along with them so would his career as a pro hero. All he felt was his back burning from the pain and the sudden, empty feeling that reached all the way to his soul. He was breathing raggedly, but he didn't even notice that himself, the humming in his ears was too loud for him to hear anything else.

"Keigo, hey" you said and took his face to your hands very gently. "You're having a panic attack"

Even though he eventually calmed down, the empty feeling wouldn't subside, and neither would the pain. He wasn't sure they ever would. He wasn't sure he would ever feel anything else than pain again.

"Could you... Leave me alone for a while?" Hawks asked quietly, and wiped his cheek on the blanket, drying the remaining tears away.

"Are you sure?" you asked.

"Yes!" he snapped, but added. "Sorry"

You left the room and Hawks was alone. He slowly and carefully got out of bed and limped to the bathroom that was on the other side of the room. He looked at himself in the mirror. The left half of his face was covered with bandages and the other side was bruised and slightly burned. He didn't really care about that though, he just wanted to see his back.

Hawks pulled off the hospital gown and turned his back to the mirror. He had to peel off the bandages that were covering the whole of his back and each strip of removed gauze left him breathing raggedly in pain. They revealed two gaping wounds in his back where his wings used to be. That sight made him completely crumble to pieces. His legs gave out from under him and he dropped to the floor. He couldn't help but start sobbing and pounding his fists against the tile floor. He would never fly again, he would never be whole again.