Farewell

  [For clarification that is just the chapter title. I'm not saying goodbye!]

[Edited July 26, 2022]

After Nico ended the call with Bruce, he headed back towards the Senate House. He didn't have a particular destination in mind, but he knew he wanted to be alone. The Senate House seemed like the best place to do that. He had a few decisions to make still that couldn't be left until later. The first thing he needed to figure out was how to say goodbye.

Should he even say goodbye? Nico knew that he wouldn't be able to do it in person, of course. That would be like asking to be stopped. He had to do it in some way that The Wayne family would only see after he left-- when it was already too late. The only thing that made sense would be to write letters. Of course, the demigod's penmanship wasn't the best because of his dyslexia, but he felt that he owed it to them to try.

Nico once again dropped his weapons off with Terminus on his way back over the Pomeranian line. The statue god was less than pleased to see him, but Nico tried not to let it bother him. Terminus could probably tell he didn't belong in the camp, being a Greek in all. Nico kept his head down and dodged a group of Senators who were all still complaining about Frank's promotion. No one paid the ambassador any mind.

The son of Hades hadn't made it too far in before he spotted Hazel, Frank, and Percy heading back towards the border. he ducked behind a column as they passed. He was in no shape to give a proper send-off and he didn't want to ruin her image of him by losing his composure. They passed him by without incident. They looked like they'd been friends for ages, not just a few days. Nico's heart ached with both longing and fear. He wished he had that kind of connection with someone. He never seemed to stay anywhere long enough to make friends while Percy didn't even have to try.

He was happy for Hazel and her new friends, but he was also afraid. A lot was riding on this quest and the risks were high, especially since the dead weren't staying dead. The possibility that they may fail or that they may not return weighed heavily on his heart. Hazel was the only other child of the god of death and he didn't want to lose her too. Nico watched them go, wishing he had the courage to give Hazel a proper send-off.

After the questers left, Nico retreated deep within the Senate House and found a quiet place to think. He tucked himself into a calm courtyard behind a pillar out of the way of any foot traffic. New Rome was bustling all the time, there were few places where he could be truly alone. He just wanted to be able to hear himself think. He pulled out his phone and scrolled through his contacts, looking to see if there was anyone else he wanted to call. There was nobody that he felt he could give a satisfactory farewell through a call. They deserved better than that. The more he thought about it, the more he realized how much he owed the people in his life. He couldn't just fall off the face of the Earth and leave them guessing about what happened.

[Trigger Warning: Suicide]

Nico had seen too many families grieving the loss of a loved one who had left the world too soon, some by accident and some by their own hand. It was debatable what a trip to Tartarus would count as. They would ask themselves how it could have happened and why the loved one would want to leave them. Hadn't they done enough? Why hadn't their loved one come to them when they were hurting?

Nico couldn't stand the thought of leaving his friends and family in that state of confusion and without closure. They didn't deserve that. He had to tell them something if only to spare himself from the guilty feeling. He didn't want to add gross negligence of human bonds to his long list of regrets. That decided it, he had to make sure that the people he cared about knew what happened. He had to let them know somehow.

No w he just had to decide how. He could call them, but he didn't know if he could keep it together. Would he be able to keep his resolve when he could hear the hurt in their voices? Could he really stand to make all of those phone calls? He could text them, he supposed, but he felt that that was too impersonal. Plus, the half-bloods didn't have phones and many of them couldn't read. Texting wouldn't be a good idea either. That only left writing letters. This would also mean that he could leave the letters for people to find and they wouldn't have time to stop him. It was the best option that he could come up with on such short notice.

Now he just needed some paper. He went looking and there was a scribe's station with some paper in it. The scribe was nice enough to give him some paper and lend him a pen. Nico retreated back to the quiet courtyard and found a shaded spot underneath a tree where he could sit undisturbed. Nico settled down and started writing farewell letters to the people in his life. There weren't many, maybe, but they were loyal.

Nico wrote the first letter to Reyna, hoping that she didn't find him writing them. How do you say goodbye to someone who you aren't really close to? Would it be inappropriate to make jokes? The son of Hades was no good at goodbyes, he usually just left and let people figure out what happened on their own. It wasn't going to be the most eloquent, but Nico would try to make sure that the letters made sense. Hopefully, they would even be legible.

Dear Praetor of the Twelfth Legion Fulminata,

Thank you for helping Hazel and me when I came asking for your assistance. I wish I had the means to thank you in some substantial way, but I don't. So, I'm going to do it in the only way I know how-- closing the doors.

This is the way it's meant to be, Reyna, you have to see that. It even says that the giants are meant to kill me. You know what happens when you try to cheat prophecies. I am deciding that this is how I want to go, by closing the doors and doing some real good.

I'm sorry I broke the promise. I'm sorry that I lied to you about so many things. Many of which will become clear if everything goes how I think it will. I'll see you sometime, ok? Hopefully later rather than sooner.

Nico di Angelo, Ambassador of Pluto, King of Ghosts

Nico folded up the letter and stuck it in his pocket out of sight. He planned on sticking it to her door and letting her find it or maybe sliding it through her mail slot or under the door. He'd do it tonight before he left. After that, he would return to Gotham to drop off the letter he had written for Ivy. After that, he would drop a letter off at Camp for Thalia to find. Then he would go back to the manor for the night and rest up for the trip the next day.

Nico hadn't been planning on going back to the manor but he felt that he had to. The demigod didn't want his last conversation with Bruce to be over the phone. He couldn't just leave it at that. Plus, he didn't want them to come to California looking for him only to find themselves in the middle of a fight between the Greeks and Romans. He couldn't let them get caught up in their bloody war. While he was back home he would take the time to leave the messages and prepare. As it was, he didn't have any of his provisions with him so he'd need to swing by the manor before he left for the pit anyway. He'd go home after he finished writing the letters.

The next letter he addressed to a certain Huntress that would definitely kill him if by some miracle the pit didn't.

Dear Thalia,

I'm leaving this letter to you so that you have something to glare at as you spit obscenities. What I have to say-- you're not going to like.

I know where the doors of death are. I know that there are two places that the doors must be anchored-- the mortal world and the Underworld. I don't know where they are in the mortal world, but the other side of the doors is in Tartarus. There are only a handful of people who know this.

The only way to close the doors is to free them from both sides. This means that someone has to be in Tartarus to both clear out the monsters and break the chains. Someone who knows the Underworld better than anyone else and isn't necessary for the quests. Someone like me.

It has to be me. I know you'd offer your help in a heartbeat if you knew that this was the only way, which is why I didn't tell you my plan. The world still needs you, Thalia Grace. Also, I am very sorry that I knew about Jason and kept him a secret from you.

I bet you aren't so keen on stopping me now, huh? By the time you will have seen this note, I will already be in Tartarus, so don't bother trying to stop me. I can do this Thalia, or I'll die trying. It's the only way and you know it. This is our one chance to end the war before it even starts. So this is what I have to do.

I know you'll be angry and hurt, but I hope you won't stay mad forever since that's as long as you've got. I've made my choice and I'll wait for eternity if I have to in order to see you again.

Fearfully,
Nico di Angelo

The son of Hades folded this note so that it was small enough to fit in his pocket. He considered if there was anyone else he might want to say goodbye to. Was there anyone else in this world that cared about him? There was the bat fam, obviously, but a note wouldn't cut it for them. He'd find another way to say goodbye to them. He'd figure it out when he went back to the manor.

He tapped the pen on his chin, enjoying the soft thump it made in his skull. He could probably stand to say goodbye to the Young Justice team, and Ivy didn't deserve to worry either. Nico laid his head in his hands for a few minutes. This was taking longer than he had expected and it was really emotionally exhausting. It kept reminding him that he really didn't want to give this up. He finally had a home, friends, and a family that cared for him. He finally had something to lose.

"Are you ok?" Nico looked up and saw Gwen watching him from the corridor that led out to the forum. He guessed she had probably been looking for a place to be alone too.

"Yeah, I'm just tired. I don't sleep well in new places." Nico replied yawning. She nodded, seeming to understand.

"What are you doing?" She asked, pointing at the pen and paper.

"I'm writing a thank you note to Reyna for her hospitality. And to a few other people who have saved my hide over the years. What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Terminus said you hadn't left yet and asked me to check on you. He wants you to come collect your weapons." She smiled apologetically.

"Wouldn't want to keep him waiting, now would I? Hold on." Nico pulled the stupid toga over his head and scrunched it into a ball. He considered the ball with distaste for a moment before he decided to send it back to the secret room in the manor via shadows. He drop-kicked the infernal thing into the nearest shadow and it disappeared. Gwen gasped but seemed more amused than frightened.

"Let's go," Nico said as he made his way over to her. She nodded, still looking at the spot where the toga had disappeared. Nico grabbed his weapons from the border god who berated him for taking advantage of his time. Nico restrained himself from pointing out that he had nothing but time. Gwen left the ambassador to his own devices. She was moving her things out of the barracks today and into the college dorms.

Nico made his way through the city until he found himself at the praetor houses. He briefly considered just leaving the notes right then and there, but he decided that it was too risky. Reyna could see it before he left and tried to stop him. She had the resources to make sure that he didn't leave this camp. He couldn't afford to have that happen, especially since it would mean that the Bat family would be on their way to California to get him. Nico didn't want to know what would happen if Batman met the Roman pantheon. That seemed like a bad idea.

Nico stopped at a café and sat at one of their tables to finish his letters. He started the onefor Ivy first.

Dear Ivy,

I want you to know that I really appreciate everything that you have done for me. I can honestly say that I wouldn't have gotten this far without you. Thank you.

I'm sending this letter because I have found myself in a situation that I don't expect to get out of. Don't worry, it has nothing to do with the Wayne family. They're really good people. They've done so much for me and I will be eternally grateful for that.

This problem has to do with my father's side of the family. They want me and all the people I care about dead and I can't let that happen. In this particular situation, my best option is to take one for the team. Even if it means giving up my life.

I just want you to understand that I know what I'm doing and that I'll see you again someday. You know, if you believe in the afterlife. Goodbye Ivy, thank you for reminding me of what it is like to have a mom again.

Gratefully,
Nico di Angelo

He had tried his best to explain the situation in mortal terms but it didn't really translate. It sort of made it sound like Hades was a Mafioso or something with the rest of his mafia family out to get him. The son of Hades just hoped that she would get the gist of what he meant. He really was going to miss her.

The final letter was the one he was dreading most-- mostly because he didn't know what to say.

Dear Team,

I know we didn't get off to a good start, and I'm sorry about that. You all seem like really good people and I am honored to have gotten to work with you.

I'm writing this letter to let you know that I am not in need of rescue. I know it is in your natures to come rushing into battle at the slightest sign of trouble. I respect you for that and admire how much you care. I just thought that I'd save you some time and tell you that I'm going to disappear for a long time and that I'm not in trouble.

I have a mission that I have taken upon myself. This mission is a solo mission in a place you couldn't follow if you tried. The other important thing that I should mention about this mission is that I don't plan on coming back. So don't bother coming after me-- there's no point in saving a corpse.

I'm making this choice. It is my decision and am going into this knowing fully the dangers and risks. I believe, however, that the risk to myself personally is of little consequence in comparison to the reward. I wish I could tell you more, but just know that this quest requires the abilities that only I have. That is why I couldn't involve you.

I just wanted to say thank you all for your hospitality and that I don't need, or want, your help. Should I never return to Gotham, you'll know what happened.

Wistfully,
Ghost

This letter Nico folded up and put in his other pocket. He didn't like how it sounded but there was no good way to say goodbye to a team who were mostly indifferent to your existence. Indifferent or not, he didn't want to inadvertently lead them into the middle of a bloodbath or worse-- to the edge of the pit itself. That being said, he couldn't tell them what the mission was. They'd never believe him even if he did try to explain it to them. Or maybe they would. They had run into some pretty crazy things throughout their careers if Dick's stories were anything to go by. Nico couldn't just keep the team in the dark either-- they might get worried. He couldn't even give them bits of the truth either because then they might start digging. How could he word this in a way that would keep them out of danger?

With his letters written as best, he could manage, Nico was ready to go place all the notes where those specific people would find them. The son of Hades decided that it would be best to lay out all the letters tonight and then head back to the manor to rest for a day or two before he had to head to the pit. He needed to be at full strength and he wanted to spend a little time with the bat family. Nico wanted his last days on the surface to be spent with his chosen family. He hadn't gotten to know them nearly as well as he would have liked to. They were still a mystery to him in many ways. He should have reached out to them more on a personal level and gotten to know them. Now he would die without ever really knowing who they are. Nico had hoped to go into the afterlife without regrets, but he figured that no one ever truly does.

He also needed time to draft a letter to Hades. There were so many things he wanted to say to his father but he could never find the strength to start the letter. Nico didn't know whether to curse him, thank him, or apologize. Or maybe try to do all three at once. The pair definitely had their differences, but Nico know that Hades cared about him in his own convoluted way. He allowed Bianca to Iris message Percy from the Underworld because she was worried about her brother. He allowed Nico to stay with him when he had nowhere else. He fought alongside him in the Battle of Manhattan.

Nico also knew that he wasn't exactly the best parent either, though he was improving. He almost melted him, tricked me into putting Percy in danger, and ruined their relationship, and he told his son that he wished Bianca had survived. Hades still saw his son in the same light that he did when the boy was twelve. There was also the fact that Hades had never publically claimed him.

The demigod knew that he also wasn't the easiest person in the world to deal with. Nico snuck a soul out of the Underworld. He fell off the face of the Earth for months at a time, failed to protect his sister, and disobeyed him frequently. Then there was the fact that Nico had helped Percy defeat him in his own realm and obtain the Curse of Achilles.

Nico knew that Hades wasn't the most fatherly god, but he did his best. Nico owed him at least that much credit. He deserved a note like everyone else. Hades isn't perfect-- no parent is-- but he tried his best to teach his son to be strong and independent. He made him tough so that he would survive. In our world, that was fatherly love.

With the letters in hand, Nico made his way to Reyna's house to drop it off. He already had everything he needed on his person so he could just drop the letter and go. Nico wouldn't have to risk Reyna reading it before he left and trying to stop him. Reyna's place wasn't far from the café. The house was white with a wrap-around porch and blooming flower boxes. It kind of made him wonder if Reyna did her own gardening or if she had people to do that for her. Nico wouldn't imagine that leading New Rome left much time for gardening.

The son of Hades stepped cautiously up onto the shaded porch and tried to picture Reyna coming up these steps after a long day. He couldn't picture Reyna living domestically. Cooking her own meals, relaxing on a couch, playing fetch with her hounds. The daughter of Bellona was a warrior at heart and Nico doubted suburban life would satisfy her for long. Still, it was a nice house.

Nico slipped the note through the mail slot and looked around one last time at the hustle and bustle of New Rome life before stepping back into the shadows-- ready to deliver the rest of his letters to their recipients. Nico landed a few blocks from Toxic Acres, deciding that it would be best if he walked in. Nico kept to the shadows as he edged his way through the rusted gates of what he's sure used to be a lovely gated community.

There was no animal life in Toxic Acres. Not even rats dared tread the fuming ground. No alley cats or raccoons rifled through the abandoned garbage bins. No birds chirped or flew overhead and even the flies seemed to know enough to steer clear. Since it was off the main road, Toxic acres was a very quiet neighborhood. As Nico trekked through the abandoned streets, the only sound was his own footsteps but even they seemed muffled by the oppressive silence that cloaked this place. It was completely still-- until it wasn't.

"Stop right there." Came a masculine voice behind him. Nico froze in place, surprised that this person managed to sneak up on him. The man's voice was warped, probably by some kind of breathing apparatus. Nico did a quick soul search and his heart sank when it was none other than Connor Kent.

"Show us your hands." Artemis came up in front of him with her bow drawn. His heart leaped to his throat and he thought of some very colorful language. This was the last thing he needed at the moment.

"What's this all about?" The newest Wayne boy asked, complying. He didn't remember deciding to play the dumb card, but it was too late to turn back now.

"Take a wild guess." She spat back. She really needed to work on this hostility. Of course, she didn't know that he was Ghost, but she could still work on not hating everyone the moment she meets them. Or maybe it was because he was in a Supervillain's territory. Yeah, that was probably the reason.

"What's your name?" Kaldur cut in, taking control of the situation he also had a rebreather on his face to filter out the toxins. Nightwing had yet to make an appearance but Nico doubted that the team was in Gotham without him. They were probably looking for that mystery boy from before. Aka Nico di Angelo.

"Nico di Angelo," he answered truthfully. He was kind of a public figure now so it wouldn't help his case to lie.

"You're that new Wayne kid!" Kid Flash shot into view, stopping next to the green archer.

"Oh right! I forgot about him." Artemis eyed him over, probably recognizing him from his first gala.

"Nightwing, you're our resident Gothamite. How do you want to proceed?" Kaldur asked, delegating. Nightwing landed in front of him, blocking his view of the archer and the speedster. From his expression, Nico knew that he was pissed.

"What are you doing here? This place is the territory of Poison Ivy. The air isn't safe to breathe." Dick glared at his younger brother but the son of Hades couldn't tell if there was any real anger behind it. He knew the bats wouldn't like the idea of him having a relationship with Ivy. This was the reason he didn't want them to know.

"I know that. Ivy gave me the antidote." Nico said matter of factly. He knew that this would annoy them-- pretending not to understand their concern.

"Why would she do that?" Artemis asked, confused.

"She's basically like a mom to me. She's only really a threat to people who disrespect the environment or get in her way."

"Ivy? Really?" Dick cut in. He wasn't acting very much like his Nightwing persona which told Nico he was actually very upset about this. His teammates seemed confused by this reaction too.

"Look, I'm not in danger and you're making me late. Can I go now?" Nico shoved his hands in the pockets of his jeans and clutched the letter that was meant for the team. He briefly considered leaving it with one of them but he decided that the risk was too great. He didn't want them to see it before he left.

"No. I'll escort you back to Wayne Manor personally and have a discussion with your guardian about this." Nightwing stared him down. "You can't just hang out with an environmental terrorist."

"She's an old friend! She would never hurt me!" He argued back. Nico didn't know if he was playing the part or if he was really angry, but Nico was starting to get the feeling that it was the latter.

"You're friends with Ivy?" Kid Flash frowned, glancing back and forth between him and Nightwing. Dick had told him before that Wally knows his identity. If Wally knows that Richard and his brothers are all part of the bat fam, he probably knows that he knows the secret too. That would explain the glances.

"I met her before she was... transformed." He agreed.

"So that makes her... motherly towards you?"

"I guess? I don't know why she likes me." he lied, "I just know that she does. She saved me from the Joker when I first moved here."

"You're really unlucky, aren't you?" Kid Flash said teasingly.

"Try 'has no sense of self-preservation'." Nightwing countered. Nico didn't reply. He usually did have some sense of self-preservation. Though considering what his plans were for the next two days, he couldn't argue the point on good conscience.

"Ivy's not a threat to me."

"That's not the point, number one. Number two, you have no idea what she would do if you somehow got between her and her goals." he guess he really was upset. Nico stared at him for a moment, surprised that we were actually fighting. He had never really fought with him before. Not like this, anyway. He didn't like it very much. He guessed he wasn't going to get the chance to leave Ivy her letter after all. He'd just have to hope that he got the chance before his departure or that Bruce might give it to her if he were to leave it somewhere he can find it.

Now he guessed he was going to be dealing with the consequences of this over the last two days he was spending on the surface. Awesome. He knew they'd find out eventually but this was awful timing, even for him. Batman knew of the first meeting he had with Ivy and how she protected him, but he had purposely hidden their relationship. He had no idea that Nico visited Ivy on his own time. He didn't know that he had kept Hazel there for a while, that he had spent the night, or that he was immune. Boy was he in for a surprise.

"Come on, we'll take you home." Kaldur rested his hand on his shoulder to guide him along.

"Please don't touch me. I don't like to be touched." Nico took a step back, out of Kaldur's reach.

"My apologies." The son of Hades allowed them to lead him onto the bioship and did his best to seem like this was the first time he had seen the inside. Nico couldn't bring himself to answer any questions or really engage with the team because he was too busy thinking about how disappointed Bruce was going to be. His last two days and Bruce was going to be mad at him throughout it all. The thought made Nico wish that he had never decided to come back to the manor at all.

If he had just shadow traveled to her porch, dropped the note then gone straight to the Underworld he wouldn't have time to be mad at him. It was a pointless wish. The team would have recognized him as Ghost if he had just shadow traveled onto Ivy's porch and Batman would still be mad at him. Though he supposed it didn't really matter because he's going to be plenty mad at him later anyway. What does it matter if he's mad now too?

"Are you ok?" Wally asked as we were landing in the back of the extensive Wayne Manor grounds.

"I'm fine." Nico waved him off impatiently.

"You seem tense, my friend. Are you worried about how your guardian will react?"

"No," Nico answered coldly. He knew exactly how Bruce would react and he wasn't so much afraid as he was frustrated. This was less than ideal and it made him angry that his luck could possibly have been this bad. The team seemed to take this as a 'yes'.

"Maybe you shouldn't have snuck out," Artemis said pointedly. Nico glanced at her but didn't respond. She wouldn't understand even if he tried to explain the situation.

"Come on. The sooner you get it over with the better." Nightwing hit a button and the bay doors opened. Nico followed him off the ship and watched as the rest of the team disappeared into the night.

"Dick--" The son of Hades started as soon as we were alone.

"I'm tired and I don't want to discuss the rocky road of relationships between civilians and villains right now. That's a three-hour lecture at least. I'm tired from looking out for a potential villain in training that happens to be my own little brother who knew we were looking for him but conveniently forgot to tell me it was him."

"I knew you wouldn't like it."

"You're right, I don't like it. That doesn't mean that I wouldn't have your back." He turned to face his younger brother, his eyes blazing. Nico had never seen him look this fired up. "We all hate that Tim pulls three all-nighters in a row with a caffeine IV but we support him." Dick was picking up speed now, "And we all hate that Damian sees everyone as beneath him but we'll still protect him and try to show him a better way." Dick was making broad gestures, desperate to make sure he got the message.

"Jason shoots people, Nico!" He didn't need to continue; he'd made his point.

"I'm sorry. I should have told you."

"Let's just go see what Bruce has to say about all this."

"You can't just forget it?" Nico asked, only half-joking.

"'Fraid not kiddo. The team will turn in mission reports to Batman and then we're both cooked."

"Fine, let's just get it over with."

[ I was planning on Nico leaving for the pit as soon as the questers left to save Death but that's not what happened in the novel so here we are for accuracy! Sorry for the wait!]

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