Ink had kept me for thirty-five years and nine months. At this point, there was no hope; there was no use to hope anymore. I knew that. Hope was just another unseen thing that had left me long ago; in its place was pain. For all intents and purposes, pain was my new hope. There was so much of it that I didn't feel it anymore. Death was painless. Breaking every bone in my body had no effect. Ink's newest paint was ineffective. I was incapable of feeling any kind of pain anymore; actually, mental pain still persisted, but that was different. Pain now felt like a small tickle; if I wanted to, I could measure the amount of pain that was being afflicted, but I was no longer affected. I supposed that my pain receptors had simply given up. When Ink realized that, he had a slight twinge of panic before gently calming himself down and formulating a plan. He would simply figure out what had happened to me through intensive study for a day; today was the day. As much as I wanted to be killed forever or set free, I knew that Ink would want to keep me around for his own reasons, and I still wasn't immune to his many types of mental torture, which were arguably worse than physical pain. I had just woken up.

"Good morning, Dusty!" Ink greeted. 

"Good morning." I picked up my Hope. 

"You're going to be going to the doctor today! Isn't that fun?"

"Yeah."

"Let me ask you..do you still love your brother?"

"Yes."

"Very well. The doctor will see you at noon, which means we have a few hours..I can't torture you until we find out what's wrong with you, so let's just play a simple game!"

Ink took my Hope from me and shut my eyesockets; he wanted to play "find Dust's Hope," apparently. Actually, I didn't think Ink was really that bad - didn't I? He was just misunderstood. He may have tortured a lot of people, including me, but that didn't make him bad - yes, it did - per se; it only made him misguided. If someone were to help him to be a better person, I believed he could do it - I doubted it - and perhaps then, he would be nicer. My soul had been feeling weird lately; I didn't know what it was. Ink said it was probably all the indoor air; he decided to take me on walks once a week to clear it up - he probably poisoned me..I didn't want it to be me..

"Okay, Dusty!" Ink let me open my eyesockets. "Go find it!"

"Okay." I looked around for my Hope; it was under Ink's dresser. 

"Good job, Dusty!" Ink patted my skull, which made me laugh; I really liked that. "Do you want to play more?"

I nodded; it was actually rather fun - was I crazy?! Fun?!

"All right!" Ink closed my eyesockets.

 The next couple hours were filled with repetitive games, but I didn't mind - it wasn't like I was being tortured. The repetition didn't bother me much, really; I preferred repetition over pain, even if I couldn't feel pain anymore, for some reason. Ink seemed to enjoy it too, which was good - I shouldn't have been thinking like that! - since I assumed that he didn't really have much fun, being a dictator. When the clock turned to 11:50 A.M., Ink stopped our games and gave me back my Hope.

"Okay, Dusty!" Ink giggled. "Are you ready to go?"

"Yeah." I held my Hope close.

"All right! Stay close, Dusty!"

"Okay." 

Ink proceeded to lead me out into the hallways, where we would take a five minute walk to the hospital section of the compound; I hadn't been there before, and I wondered what it looked like. When we arrived, Ink made me sit in a seat by the entrance while he made sure that everything was prepared. As I looked around, I found that it looked like a normal hospital; that was interesting, somewhat. I waited for roughly seven minutes holding my Hope as Ink talked to some doctors. They seemed to look at me as if I was murdering everyone in the room as he spoke; I didn't understand that. When Ink finished, the group of three doctors and a dictator approached me; the doctors seemed nervous.

"Hello, Dust." The lead doctor seemed friendly. "How are you feeling today?"

"Fine." I answered; I was feeling quite healthy at the moment. 

"Would you mind coming with us?"

"Okay." I stood up out of the seat. 

"I'll be watching." Ink stated. 

"Yes, Sir." The doctors led us to a specific room; I supposed that I would be staying there for the day. It looked like a regular hospital room.

"Okay, Dust, would you take a seat?" The lead doctor gestured to a checkup table, where I obliged. "Thank you."

"What are you gonna do?" I wondered.

"Today?"

"Mhm."

"A complete physical and mental checkup - nothing to worry about."

"Mental?" I didn't understand why an insane person would need a mental checkup..

"Ink requested it; I'm sure it will be fine."

"Okay.."

"We'll start with the physical. I assume your magic is inhibited?"

"Yeah.." I hadn't used magic since before I was captured; I had forgotten it even flowed through me at times.

"All right." 

The doctors went through the many different procedures of a physical checkup over the next couple hours, and by the time it was over, every bone in my body had been checked; that was quite intensive. Ink watched the entire process, trying to figure out what was wrong with me; the doctors reported everything to him. For me, it was rather tiring. they ended with the soul, which took another hour; I was bored, but I supposed that it was better than torture. When the doctors finished, they took out a medical book as Ink approached them.

"So?" Ink was impatient. "What is it?"

"Analgesia." The lead doctor answered.

"What?" Ink had no clue what that meant.

"He has developed analgesia: the inability to feel pain."

"That's stupid. Can I stop it?"

"At this point, I do not think so."

"Ugh..what about mental pain?"

"We will check that now, Sir."

"Good. Get to it!"

"Yes, Sir." The doctors walked back over to me. 

"All right, Dust." The lead doctor looked serious. "I am going to ask you some questions. Can you promise to tell the truth to every question?"

"Um..okay.." I felt like that was a given, but I would oblige them.

"Okay. First, how do you feel?"

"Bored.."

"How long have you been devoid of pain?"

"Um..all pain?"

"Yes, when was the last time you ever felt any type of pain?"

"Uh..now, it would be...eight months, three weeks, five days, two hours, six minutes, and thirty-three seconds."

"I am not going to ask how you know that..but there has been no feeling of pain since then?"

"Nope."

"Why do you react to it if it doesn't hurt?"

"Was I not supposed to? They would have just gotten angry if I hadn't.."

"Do you feel obligated to react?"

"I guess so..I didn't really think about it. If they don't gain satisfaction from me, they'll just go hurt someone else.."

"I see. And because you do not want anyone else to be hurt, you give the desired reaction to appease the ones who desire it?"

"Pretty much."

"What are your thoughts on the high ranks who hurt you?"

"They have different reasons..some of them are just worse than others."

"The ones who are kind?" 

"They're my friends."

"Ink?"

"I..guess he's okay - no he isn't! - I-I mean..I don't know?"

"That was quite a..change..are you feeling well?"

"My soul..feels weird.." 

"Does it hurt?"

"No..just tickles.."

"I see. Would you tell me how you feel about Ink once more?"

"He's nice - he's horrible! - I guess.."

"Indeed..I think that should finish your checkup.."

"What's wrong with him?" Ink asked.

"It seems that he is developing somewhat of an attachment to you, but there is another part of him that wants nothing to do with you. He is quite literally in a mental battle with himself." The lead doctor seemed concerned. "That is not healthy.."

"Are there any repercussions?" 

"If it is allowed to continue, it would only get worse, to the point where he could act like your best friend one minute, only to attempt to assassinate you the next."

"That's interesting.." Ink liked that idea.

"O-of course, there are numerous ways to stop the growth of the condition at this stage, and he could be quite content with simply fearing you for the rest of his life!"

"What would be involved in that?"

"He would have to be away from you for a while-" The lead doctor was cut off.

"Absolutely not!" Ink snapped. "On the contrary, I think I'd like to see this continue. It would be quite..amusing. Would one side eventually win?"

"It is hard to say..if the side that despises you wins, he could block you out and defy everything you do. If the side that likes you wins..well, I couldn't say."

"What about that mental torture?"

"In this frame of mind, he would be very susceptible to any kind of mental torture.." The doctor felt sorry for me. "With the fact that there is a part of him that likes you, the torture could appear to him as if you were disappointed by something he did, and he would try to adjust whatever he believed he did wrong to something better..if you were to take advantage..it could completely change him."

"How long would it take to begin seeing signs of this?"

"Perhaps a day, perhaps a decade; I do not know."

"So I just treat him like I always do until he starts showing signs?"

"If you wish to go down that path.."

"Oh, I do."

"In that case, yes. The side that despises you may eventually go silent, but I doubt that it would ever completely disappear."

"I see. Thank you, doctor."

"Yes, Sir.." The lead doctor seemed very sorry for me; he didn't want to tell Ink all of that.

"Are we done here?"

"Yes, Sir - unless you would like a checkup?"

"No, I would not. Come, Dusty!"

I stood up, getting off the table, and walked up to Ink. 

"You and I are going to have a wonderful time in the next few years!" Ink giggled. "Aren't you excited?"

"Sure.." I wasn't.

"Good luck." The lead doctor was wishing me luck, but Ink took it for himself.

"Thank you!" Ink laughed. "Let's go, Dusty!"

"Okay.." I followed Ink out the door.

Ink led me back to his room, where I no doubt faced torture ahead of me. I feared mental torture more than physical torture; my mind was damaged enough as it was - I didn't need it destroyed further. When we arrived in his room, he began to talk about everything he had planned for me, including all the torture he would bring upon me; it didn't sound so bad - it sounded horrible! - to me, really. I would simply endure it, just like everything else! As I listened to him talk, I wondered what my brother was doing; surely, Papyrus was doing something great! He's the best, and he could do anything he put his mind to! When I continued to listen to Ink, my mind was once again filled with visions of torture, and that was torture enough. I cried myself to sleep that night, simply waiting to be tortured throughout my dusty nightmare; there was nothing else to do. I wished that I could see one of my friends in the morning; they might have been able to help me, even if I didn't think it was possible in the first place. Maybe Ink would help - no, he wouldn't! Why would he ever do that?! - me..I just didn't know anymore.

I just wanted to understand for once.

~~~chapter end woot~~~

Dust bean unhappy.

Thanks for reading my - not? - painful writing!

Bye!