Chapter 32

Guys today was just horrible. I literally was crying because of all the schoolwork. Cheer me up with your hilarious comments please, they always make my day.


It's Sunday night and the boys are back from London. They didn't do a lot today They just slept until 11, looked for a nice restaurant to have brunch together and went for a nice stroll.


Now Harry and Louis are hanging out in Louis' room, not wanting to have Jay or Lottie near them. They wanted to be together, just the two of them.


Harry is laying on the bed vertically, Louis' head resting on his stomach. Louis is laying horizontally, feet supported on his desk chair. Harry can't help but play with Louis' hair. It's so soft.


There has been a silence between the boys for around ten minutes. It is not the awkward type but the relaxing one. Louis' breaks the silence.


"Hazza?"


His eyes are still closed as he speaks, enjoying Harry's touch.


"Yes, boo."


"When did you realise you were gay?"


Harry shouldn't be surprised by Louis' question. It was very predictable that he would want to know more about Harry's journey, for sure after the kiss they shared in London. Automatically Harry smiles when he thinks about the kiss. He thinks it was the most romantic kiss ever. It could come out of a romantic movie.


"I was fourteen when I got curious, sixteen when I realised that I only liked boys. I immediately came out to my family and friends when I was sure. I waited around a month to come out in public."


"How did you know? That you only liked boys? " Louis opens his eyes and he removes his head from Harry's stomach, the taller boy feeling empty and cold without Louis' touch. He places himself next to the boy, lying down vertically now as well. He looks at Harry, elbow on his bed and head supported by the palm of his hand.


"I had a girlfriend. We were together for quite a while and she wanted to have sex. I always looked for excuses why we couldn't have sex and I only went over to her place when she was on her period. I even marked it on a bloody calendar. You get it? Bloody? Period? Okay never mind back to the story.


So it was her birthday and my mom told me I was allowed to sleep over at her place. As much as I really didn't want to, I had no choice. We were in her room and she started kissing me and touching me and I couldn't get hard... Until."


Harry stops speaking and Louis looks curiously at him.


"Until what,?"


"Until I noticed a poster from Leonardo Di Caprio shirtless hanging above her bed. I fucked her but my mind was with shirtless Leo."


Louis starts to laugh so loud, putting his arms on his stomach.


"This story is so good! I thought it would be like at least a bit dramatic, not you getting of on Leonardo Di Caprio."


Harry blushes and breaks eye contact with Louis. Immediately the smaller boy stops laughing.


"Don't look away, Haz." He puts his finger under his chin, making blue and green meet.


"Thank you for sharing that story. I feel honoured that you wanted to share it with me."


Harry smiles at Louis, his hand looking for Louis' and grabbing it.


"If you have ever questions about sexuality or if you ever want to know things about me, you can ask me. You know that right? I don't have secrets for you."


Louis' butterflies are waking up again, going for a ride in his stomach. He is so crazy about the boy. He is sure that he is falling in love with him, but as long as he is not a 100% sure he won't tell him. He could never hurt Harry again. He will not lead him on. But it's getting really hard to not just kiss the hell out of him. The kiss in London was more than perfect and Louis has dreamt about it, having the best sleep he has had in a while.


Louis plays with Harry's fingers.


"Thank you. You are so patient with me. I don't think I could handle myself. I don't deserve you honestly."


"Don't say that. You are precious. I don't think you see how amazing you are. Being confused doesn't make you worth any less. I told you, I won't force you. If there is a day that you say that you are completely ready, willing to start something with me, I'll be the happiest guy alive. If you accept yourself but don't want me, will be painful but I will be by your side and if you figure out that it's only girls for you then I demand that I will be the godfather of your children." Harry jokes.


Louis laughs a little as well, but not too enthusiastic.


"I'm really scared that history will repeat itself." Louis finally admits.


"What happened?"


"I'm not ready to talk about it. I haven't talked about it since it happened. I will tell you, just not now. Finding and accepting myself does also mean that I have to find a place for that memory that it doesn't influence my thoughts. I think that's something I have to do on my own."


"Whenever you want to talk, I'll listen."


Louis can't take it anymore. He cuddles into Harry and buries his face into the crook of his neck. It feels warm and trusted. Harry wraps his arms around the small figure and pushes him closer to himself.


It doesn't take long for Louis to fall asleep in the curly haired lad's arms and Harry just can't bring himself to wake him up. He places his own head on Louis' using it as a pillow and takes in his intoxicating scent again. He hopes that one day Louis will feel the same for Harry as Harry feels for Louis. He wants to fall asleep like this every single night. He really hopes that his heart, that beats like crazy, won't wake his precious boy up.


--


It's 8 o'clock and the boys still aren't up. Jay is really confused. It's Monday and they have to school. She walks upstairs and walks into Harry's room but the only thing she sees is an empty bed, weird. She then walks over to Louis' room, seeing the most adorable scene ever. Both boys are completely cuddled up and they are snoring softly.


Jay takes her phone and snaps a picture, putting it in her album where she keeps all the pictures of her son and the American exchange student. She smiles and carefully closes the door again, dialling the number of the school. They can miss a day. It was an exhausting weekend.

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