I sat at the table silently, wrapping my arms across my stomach as I listened to Reid and Hotch argue outside the door. I felt the nervousness in my stomach rise as I anxiously chewed my lips and looked around the room. It was strange, given the circumstances, how much I missed rooms like these; rooms where Reid and I used to sit for hours and talk.

I turned towards one of the information boards across the room, eyeing the photos of the victims they'd gathered. I scanned their names and faces curiously, suddenly feeling sick. My stomach bubbled violently, causing the contents inside to rise up to my throat. Without a second thought, I covered my mouth and searched the room for a trash can. When I spotted one I ran over, dropping to my knees as I released whatever I had left. As I gagged I felt tears stream down my face. I clutched the garbage can tightly against my chest, hearing the door open and close a couple of feet away.

I kept my head down, closing my eyes in embarrassment. Even though I couldn't see them I knew they were looking down at me, their eyes burning holes into my skin as Reid let out a frustrated sigh and walked away.

"Isla," Hotch walked to my side, resting his hand on my shoulder.

"Please don't," I groaned. I spat into the garbage can one last time before sniffing loudly and wiping my eyes. I swallowed hard, feeling my throat burn as I looked up at him with tired eyes.

"What happened?"

I closed my eyes again, letting out a heavy sigh. I heard footsteps again; assuming they belonged to Reid as I closed my mouth too. I hoped, maybe, that if I just shut down Hotch would understand and send him away. I didn't want to see him right now. Not like this.

"Isla, please," Hotch's grip on my shoulder tightened, "I know this is highly unorthodox, but we think you may be able to help us."

All I wanted to do was help. Helping was the only thing I was good at, so, reluctantly I opened my eyes and looked at Hotch. I could see Reid holding a glass of water next to him, but I ignored it. "Okay."

Hotch helped me stand up. I felt my legs wobble the second I got fully upright. He wrapped his arm around the small of my back and helped me into the chair I was previously sitting in. Afterwards he turned to Reid and grabbed the glass out of his hand, setting it in front of me. "Tell me what happened."

I took a sip, feeling instant relief as it trailed down my burning throat. I let out a sigh, placing it back down before adjusting myself in my seat and leaning back. "I found that girl," I started calmly, "I, uh, was out with my brother and his girlfriend. We went to some club and I, uh, I don't know the name." I took a deep breath. "I lost them in the crowd and then some guy came and started grabbing me."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Reid's fist tighten at his side. For a split second I looked up at him, our eyes making contact almost instantly. He looked rough. His hair had grown a lot, curling wildly around his head, while is face looked tired. His eyelids drooped ever so slightly, while the bags underneath looked almost like bruises now. Across the lower half of his face grew some slight stubble, which threw me off the most. The entire time that I knew him he always shaved his face, so the sight was foreign.

I breathed in, watching his eyes dart away quickly. Hotch cleared his throat, pulling me back. I blinked a couple of times, shaking Reid's appearance out of my thoughts. "Sorry, uh, when the guy grabbed me I started to panic so I waved over a security guard, which scared him off."

"Can you tell us what the man who grabbed you looked like?" Reid asked.

The sound of his voice thew me off. I looked up at him again, watching as his eyebrows furrowed curiously. I nodded my head, closing my eyes as I tried to remember the details. Now that I was sobering up recalling memories came a whole lot easier. "He was tall. Probably six-two. Blonde hair, very military looking," I squinted behind my closed eyelids, trying to pick apart the details of his face, "he looked young, like barely legal young. White, uh... his smile was," I shuddered at the thought, "it was creepy. He wouldn't stop smiling even when he ran out of the alley way."

"So he's the unsub?" Hotch interjected.

I opened my eyes again, nodding. "After I found Maggie we went outside. I asked if we could go home, but her and my brother insisted on dancing to one more song. I agreed, but stayed outside because I was feeling sick. When they left I heard screaming. I tried to..." Just thinking about how alone that poor girl felt made me trail off. If I wasn't drunk I could've saved her. I could've done something.

"It's okay," Hotch reached out, placing his hand on mine. He knew exactly how I was feeling.

I let out a heavy breath, feeling my chest shake. "I tried to save her," I replied quietly, "but I got sick a-and before I could help, he, uh, he ran off." I stared down at at the table top, feeling Hotch's grip on my hand tighten. I shook my head. I felt ashamed, like I'd failed the team somehow.

"It's not your fault." Hotch responded calmly. He leaned forward in his seat. "This unsub is devolving. If you would've approached him, especially given the state you were in, you might not have been so lucky."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, but-"

"Listen to me."

I looked up, mimicking his intense gaze. "You did all you could do. If you weren't there we probably wouldn't have found the body so soon. Your call helped us." I knew he was right. Getting a call that quick was definitely a jackpot in this line of work. With a fresh body they could determine not only the exact time of death, but the approximate location of where the unsub could be.

Despite knowing that though, I still felt like shit. I pulled my hand away from Hotch's and grabbed the glass again. I stared at it for a couple of seconds, letting out a heavy sigh as I eventually brought it to my lips and downed the rest. As I did it, I felt Hotch watching curiously. His eyes scanned my body, stopping at specific parts before moving onto the next. I rolled my eyes again, knowing exactly what he was doing. He was profiling me.

"Are you just going to stare or do you have something to say?" I snapped.

Hotch leaned back in his seat, glancing up at Reid who remained still. After a couple of seconds he looked back at me, raising his brow as he stood up from his seat. He cleared his throat and smoothed out the front of his shirt. "Well, uh, I think you two should talk." He looked back at Reid. "I'll be waiting outside when you're done." Without another word he quickly left, closing the door behind him.

Once he was gone the tension in the room thickened. The idea of talking to him, especially now, made my heart hurt. I crossed my arms over my chest and glared up at him. His expression was absent, his eyes staring through my face as he mirrored my body language. Neither of us wanted to talk, that was obvious, but both of us knew we had to.

"What are you doing here?" He moved slowly into the seat across from me, leaning back as he narrowed his eyes.

"I don't know."

"You don't know?" He rolled his eyes and scoffed.

I scoffed back, everting my eyes from his intense gaze. I knew he wouldn't accept that as an answer, but right now I definitely didn't want to give it to him. He and I both knew how stubborn I was.

"Were you planning on telling me?"

I bit my lip, forcing myself to keep quiet.

"Or were you just going to move back and keep it a secret from everyone?" The tone of his voice was hard to listen to. I could tell how hurt he was. A couple of weeks prior to the breakup I basically ghosted him entirely, so he had every right to be.

"I wasn't going to keep it a secret from everyone," I responded in frustration.

"Just from me?"

"No, look I-"

He stood up abruptly, pushing the chair out from underneath him. It squealed loudly across the hardwood floors and toppled over loudly. As it did he slammed his hands on the table and looked directly at me. He was mad; an emotion I never thought I'd ever associated with him. His chest moved up and down profusely, as his hands slowly balled into fists against the tabletop.

Out of habit I stood up too, reaching for his hand, which he ripped away the second I made contact. His sudden movement scared me, causing me to jump and step back. "Spencer I-"

"You left me," he whimpered as he looked down at the floor, "you said we'd work things out."

"I know," a sob formed at the base of my throat, "I know I said that, I just..." I genuinely had no idea what to say. Everything in my mind at that moment went blank as I watched him straighten his stance and turn on his heel. Without saying another word he stormed off, slamming the door behind him as he left. I swallowed hard, feeling the guilt overtake me as I stood there alone and started crying. I brought my hands to my face and sobbed.

He hated me now and as much as it hurt, I couldn't blame him. Not long after arriving in London I started drifting. At first it was just little things, like ignoring texts or returning calls hours later, but eventually those tiny things grew. Instead of replying late I stopped replying all together. I'd avoid Skype sessions, claiming I was too tired to talk, screen his calls, delete unread messages; pretty much anything to be alone. At first I felt pretty guilty, knowing that what I was doing was wrong.

Hotch opened the door slowly, his face dropping the second he saw me crying. He walked over quickly, wrapping his arms around me as he patted my head "I'll take you home," he whispered.

I nodded my head, feeling him push me towards the door. As we walked through the building I stared at the ground, watching our feet step in unison. I figured Reid had probably stormed off, but not knowing exactly where he was made the walk through the building that much more terrifying.

Hotch walked me out to one of the SUVs, opening the passenger side door for me. I got in, thanking him quietly as I buckled the seatbelt and stared at the glovebox. He got in too, slamming the door shut before turning on the car and getting ready to leave. With a small sigh, he turned onto the road, glancing over me before looking forward. "Are you still at your old address?"

I nodded, watching him make a sharp right before continuing down the road.

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No," I sighed, "but I know you want me to anyway."

"Talking is good," he responded.

I gave him a dirty look. "You don't talk."

He opened his mouth to say something, but instantly shut it knowing I was right. Despite how horrible I was feeling, I still managed to smirk.

"Give him time," he eventually said.

"Time for what?" I scoffed.

"To heal," he responded, "he'll come around eventually."

"I really don't think he will." I frowned.

"Spencer's sensitive."

"Yeah, well, I think he's more pissed off than anything."

Hotch chuckled slightly. "He's very good at holding grudges."

I rolled my eyes.

For a while Hotch drove in silence. Every so often he'd peak over in my direction, letting out a heavy sigh when I'd look away from him. I felt bad for being rude to him, knowing he was just trying to help, but thanks to my stubborn nature, I wouldn't accept it easily.

As we pulled up in front of the apartment I looked over at him. "Hey, uh, I know this probably isn't the best time to say this, but I'll take the job."

Hotch looked over and nodded. "Good. I'll let Cooper know."

I nodded back silently and tore off my seatbelt. "Thanks again, uh, for that."

"It's no problem," he responded.

"I know, but still, I appreciate it." I gave him one last smile before opening the door and sliding out of the seat. As I closed it, I said a quick goodbye, waving as he drove off. Once he was gone I stood outside awkwardly, gripping my sides as I scanned the darkened neighbourhood. There were a couple of lampposts along the road, dimly lighting the way towards the main road. I bit my lip and watched a couple of cars pass, glancing my way as they rolled in front of me. A shiver ran up my spine remembering the guy from the alley. I knew the odds of him being around here slim, but I couldn't shake the feeling he was out there watching me. I swallowed hard and ran up the steps towards the door, shoving my hands into my back pocket before realizing I didn't have a key. I let out a small groan and grabbed my phone instead. I called Issac, leaning against the glass door as I continued looking out onto the road.

He answered immediately, breathing heavily into the phone. "Where the fuck are you? You said you were coming home," he snapped. In the background I heard Maggie mumble something, earning her a loud shush from her boyfriend.

"I'm sorry, it's a long story," I replied meekly, "can you please let me up?"

He hung up. I rolled my eyes, knowing in just a matter of minutes I'd be getting lectured. The buzzer near the door sounded off, singling me to open it. I gripped it tightly, swinging it open as I bolted inside and up the stairs. I looked behind me as I got onto the floor of the apartment, trying to remain as cautious as possible despite probably not needing to. As I opened the door I held my breath, peaking inside to see Maggie on the couch, gripping Issac's hand. He was standing in front of her, his other hand gripping the roots of his hair as he looked up to see me. He narrowed his eye angrily, ripping himself from Maggie's grasp as he ran to meet me.

"What the fuck, Isla?" I could smell the liquor on his breath as he spoke.

I scrunched up my face, cowering towards the door. "Can you chill please? It's like two in the morning," I whispered.

"I don't give a-"

I held my finger up to my lips, shushing him angrily. The last thing I wanted to get was yelled at again, especially by my drunk older brother.

He stopped, his arms sinking to his sides as he rolled his eyes.

"Listen, after you guys went back inside some shit happened."

Maggie snuck to Issac's side, wrapping her arm around the small of his back. She gave me a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," I nodded, "I just, uh, some girl got murdered in the alleyway when I was out there."

"Oh fuck," her eyed widened.

Issac remained silent, closing his eyes.

"Yeah. So, uh, after you guys went inside that happened and the police showed up. I went to the station to give a statement, but Reid was there a-"

"Reid?" Issac raised his brow, along with the level of his voice. I shushed him again, causing Maggie to look at both of us awkwardly. When she made eye contact with Issac he let out a sigh and wrapped his arm around her. "Reid is Isla's ex," he explained.

"Oh..." she frowned.

Now wasn't the time to talk about Reid so instead of saying anything else on the matter, I just pressed my lips together and nodded. Maggie seemed to understand, closing her mouth and nodding back as she gripped tighter onto Issac.

"Hotch just drove me home, I'm sorry I didn't say anything. I just wanted you guys to get home safe rather than sticking around."

Maggie reached out, placing her hand on my shoulder with a small smile. "It's okay, we get it. We're just glad you're safe too."

"Just don't pull that shit again, alright?" Issac pointed his finger threateningly.

I shrugged away Maggie's hand and rolled my eyes. "I didn't pull anything," I retorted, "so you can stop getting all mad."

"I'm not mad," he scoffed.

"Really? Because based on your body language you are. Your body's tense, your brow is furrowed, you're red in the face and you can barely keep quiet," I could go on and on, but I stopped, watching as his jaw start to clench.

Maggie let out sigh of annoyance, glaring at Issac as she gripped his hand and started pulling him away. "C'mon grumpy, let's go to bed." Instead of continuing the argument he followed her, slowly moving towards the bedroom door. He looked at me over his shoulder, still glaring as Maggie opened the door and pulled him inside. Once he was gone, she peeked through the doorway mouthing a quick sorry before closing the door.

The second he was gone I felt like I could breathe again. I ran my fingers through my hair and walked over to the couch, collapsing onto the pillow. While the sickness I felt from the alcohol had subsided I was starting to develop a headache from all the emotional stress. I adjusted myself so I was laying on my side and closed my eyes. For a while I laid there, motionless and ready to sleep. I could feel the events of the day slowly catching up to me. I let out small yawn and wiggled comfortably into the couch as I felt my phone vibrate.

"Seriously?" I whispered angrily. I let some air out of my nose, grabbing the phone from my back pocket. As I pulled up my text messages I realized how many missed ones I had. The majority of them were from Issac, along with a phone number I assumed to be Maggies. Both of them had sent me a series of worried texts, which I quickly read and deleted. After that I checked the newest one, realizing it was from Hotch.

Meet me outside the office building tomorrow at 7. I'll get you cleared through security and we'll get you started on paperwork.

I checked the time and groaned. He expected me to come in in five hours? I rubbed my eyes and set an alarm for six before throwing my phone on the coffee table and rolling over.