The next morning I woke up alone. I woke up around ten, which felt like some sort of miracle in itself, especially since I'd managed to sleep throughout the entire night without waking up. I mentally patted myself on the back, feeling impressed as I got up and wandered over to my luggage. On the closed suitcase there was a small orange sticky note attached. I raised my brow and bent down to grab it.

Sorry we left without saying bye. Didn't want to wake you. Feel free to eat whatever and steal the shower. —- Maggie.

I smiled and tossed the note aside. I rummaged through the other suitcase, grabbing the rest of my toiletries before heading into the bathroom. As I passed through my old bedroom I realized how different it looked. Comic books lined the shelves, while various paintings and pictures hung on the walls. Issac was a lot like mom in that way. He grew attached to objects like they were people, while dad and I were constantly throwing shit out.

I took a long shower, scrubbing and shaving my body until I was sure I clean. Afterwards, I hopped out, grabbing a towel from the rack to wrap myself up in as I stood in front of the slightly fogged mirror. I brushed my teeth again and moisturized my face as the condensation from the glass started to fade away. Once I could see myself I frowned. Even though it'd only been a few days since that night of heavy drinking, I was still surprised at how sick I looked. I dropped the towel from my torso, inspecting my stomach and hips sadly.

I really needed to start taking care of myself. Based on vision alone I could tell at some point I'd gained a couple of pounds. My stomach puffed out and I could see a tiny set of love handles starting to develop at my sides. I sighed and grabbed my towel again, wrapping myself up as I looked away in disgust. Deep down I knew I shouldn't care. It wasn't like my body wasn't healthy. Yet, part of me suddenly felt uncomfortable in my own skin.

I wandered back into the living room and fished through my clothes again, eventually finding some workout gear. I figured now was as good a time as any to start exercising again; now that I was reinventing my life or whatever. I threw everything on and stole a couple of protein bars from the cupboard, quickly consuming them as I did some stretches on the floor.

After I finished, I grabbed my phone from inside my purse, narrowing my eyes at the screen. I swore under my breath when I noticed the low battery percentage, cursing at myself for not plugging it in last night. I thought about going for a run, but without music it'd barely be tolerable. I groaned, throwing my phone onto the couch before returning to the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

I took a couple of sips and leaned against the counter. I knew I should probably still run regardless. If I wanted to get better I had to at least put a little effort in. I downed the rest of my water and grabbed some runners out of my bag. Reluctantly, I slipped them on. It'd been a while since I'd worn them so they felt foreign against the balls of my feet. I took a couple of steps, wiggling my toes before I ran in place to get a good feel for them. Afterwards, I gave my arms and neck a good stretch and grabbed my headphones from my purse. I plugging them into the bottom of my phone with a sigh. It wasn't dead yet, so I could probably get a couple of songs in before it stopped working.

I selected the most upbeat playlist I could find in my library and threw my phone into the pocket of my leggings. Afterwards, I let out a couple of heavy breaths, staring at the door as I prepped myself for the sore muscles I'd definitely develop after this.

"Okay, let's get this over this," I mumbled to myself as I walked out the door and down the stairs. I pushed myself through the entrance of the building. Once I made it to the sidewalk I started running. At first I went pretty fast, moving down a couple of blocks, until I rememered running was more about pacing yourself than moving fast. I slowed down after that, catching my breath as I rounded the corner and continued up the street.

I got about four songs in by the time my phone died. I let out a loud groan, but continued moving. I wasn't entirely sure where I was going, but I figured I'd just wing it and eventually find my way back after.

I ran past a couple of familiar houses, narrowing my eyes. It felt weird being here again; kind of like deja vu. I slowed down my pace a little bit, breathing heavily as I scanned the area I was in. Out of the corner of my eye I saw the last place I thought I'd find myself. I felt my ability to breathe completely stop as I gripped my hips and tried to walk off the sudden burst of anxiety. My chest heaved violently, while my whole body drenched itself in sweat. I wiped my forehead with the back of my hand, sighing as I felt the various muscles in my body burn.

A little up the road, on the other side of the street sat the BAU. A place I'd almost forgotten about. As I walked past it I felt a sense of dread ball at the base of my stomach as I thought about all the people inside. I wondered how they were doing. It'd been a while since I properly spoke to most of them. After my move I only really talked to Garcia, mostly because she made me. The rest of them were so busy on the field it made it hard for me to justify contacting them.

I tried to turn my attention away from the building, staring forward as I slowly regained my breathing back. When I was ready I started running again, pushing myself further forward until I eventually crossed the street and wandered into a park nearby. Once I hit the grass I slowed down again. As I walked I undid the messy bun on my head, running my fingers through my hair before I pulled it up again and tied it tighter.

"Isla?"

I stopped in my tracks, looking around confused. I wasn't entirely sure if I'd actually heard my name or if I was just hearing things. Despite no music playing, I took one headphone out of my ear and turned on my heel, nearly gasping immediately. Standing in front of me, in all his shirtless glory was Derek Morgan. He looked over, confused as he ran up to meet me. "What the hell are you doing here?" He sounded pissed off.

"I, uh," I blinked and took a step back. I wondered if I could just make a run for it. Turn around and never come back. Obviously that wouldn't work. Morgan was way fitter than I was and would catch up to me in a second, so I brushed the idea away. Instead, I adjusted my stance, trying to loosen my body as I closed my eyes. "Hi."

"When did you get back?" When I opened my eyes again he was standing closer to me. staring down at my face as he knitted his brows together and clenched his jaw. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," I shrugged, "I just, uh," I cleared my throat, "I don't know."

He rolled his eyes and pulled me into him regardless. I let out a groan. Feeling his sweaty torso against my face wasn't necessarily something I expected to feel when I woke up this morning, so it took me by surprise. Regardless, I stayed put, wrapping my arms around him as I let out a defeated sigh and closed my eyes again. "You're a terrible friend," he said, chuckling to himself.

I knew he was only kidding, but I couldn't help but feel like deep down he was telling the truth. I was a terrible friend. Even after all he did for me at the BAU the second I left I basically abandoned him. That wasn't something friends did.

When he pulled away he sighed, clamping his hand onto my shoulder. "You okay?"

"No," I frowned.

"You'll be okay," he replied.

"I'm sorry I didn't call," I stared at the grass underneath my feet, "or text."

"Apology accepted."

I looked up, half smiling. Even after all this time I was surprised at how easy going he could be.

"Life happens," he shrugged, "plus you and I don't exactly have the most flexible jobs."

"Had," I corrected impulsively.

"Had?"

I nodded.

"So, does that mean y-"

"I just got back yesterday," I sighed, watching him open his mouth to say something. I raised my hand to stop him, already knowing what he was going to say next, "no I haven't seen him yet."

He closed his mouth and shook his head, holding back a slight smirk.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you, really, but London was hard. As soon as I got there I hated it and I didn't really know what to do."

"You could've called me," he offered, "we could've talked about it."

"Yeah I know, but after everything Prentiss went through to get me over there; I was too embarrassed to tell anyone."

"Did you tell Reid?"

"No." I scoffed.

"Why not?"

I laughed nervously. "Do you know how much emotional stress it took both of us to get me to go on that plane?"

Morgan frowned and shook his head.

"When I got on that plane I panicked. I had this gut feeling that I shouldn't go, but by the time I acted on it it was too late." I realized now I never told anyone that before. Not even Reid. I felt my body shake as I spoke, the threat of tears stinging my eyes as I scanned Morgan's saddened eyes. "I had to sit on that plane by myself knowing that this relationship would end."

Morgan closed his eyes, letting out a sigh. "You couldn't have known that, Isla."

"No, no, but I did," I said desperately, "I did, because I know myself. I know that when things are too hard for me to handle I just stop trying, which is exactly what happened." I brought my hands to my stomach, pressing my lips together as I felt the shaking in my body start to grow. I let out a couple of heavy breaths, steadying myself as I watched Morgan cross his arms over his chest and look away. "Morgan," I sniffed, "Spencer left because I pushed him away."

Without a second thought he pulled me into him again. The second I hit his chest I started crying, letting the sweat and tears smear disgustingly against my face as I wrapped my arms around his neck. I let everything out. All the sadness and anger and resentment flowed out of my body like a river as I held onto him for dear life. He didn't even think about pulling away, tightened his grip on body as I shook until I couldn't anymore. When it was all over I pushed him away gently, wiping my face with the backs of my hands as I coughed. I could feel my lungs throbbing in my chest.

"Did that feel better?"

"Not really," I replied, "now I just feel sad."

"You know you're allowed to be sad, right?" He raised his brow.

I rolled my eyes, "only bitches get sad," I mumbled jokingly.

"There she is," Morgan smiled, wrapping his arm around my shoulder, "my sassy lady."

I shoved him off, holding back a smile. I hated how easy he could make me feel better. It wasn't fair.

"You know the team would love to see you." I wanted to see them too, but I knew I wasn't ready. I needed time to heal a bit. Time to get my shit a little more together before jumping back into the friendships I left behind. I knew Morgan would understand, so when I told him that, I wasn't surprised when he just nodded and said okay.

After that we walked along the park together and talked. He told me about a couple of cases they'd been working on. It felt nice being back in that world, even if it was just to hear about it. I genuinely missed working there more than anything. Maybe even more than I missed Reid, to be honest.

In the middle of one of his sentences Morgan's phone began to ring. He closed his eyes, his sudden annoyance becoming visible as he pulled the object from the pocket of his shorts and brought it to his ear. "Morgan." He stopped walking and narrowed his eyes as he listened to the other end. Based on his face I could tell it was probably JJ calling them in for a case or something. He said a couple of words back, but by then I'd zoned out. Now that I wasn't apart of the BAU anymore, I figured I probably shouldn't listen in.

When he hung up the phone I gave him a warm smile. "Duty calls?"

"Duty calls," he repeated with sigh.

I snorted, crossing my arms over my chest. "Don't necessarily miss that much." I lied.

He rolled his eyes. "You're a terrible liar."

"Yeah, well, you already knew that," I retorted.

We walked back towards the BAU together. The closer we got the more anxious I felt. It was probably everyone's day off so they were most definitely on their way here, which meant the probability of running into them was pretty high. As we passed the parking lot I scanned it for familiar cars, immediately spotting Garcia's near the front of the building. I bit my lip and stared at the pavement below my feet.

"Are you sure you don't wanna say hi? The case is local so it's not like we're rushing out or anything."

"I'm sure," I replied, "besides, I don't think Strauss would appreciate my presence."

Morgan laughed.

"It was nice to see you though, really," I smiled and stopped walking, "I know the last few months were shit, but now that I'm back I really do want to make it up to you," I looked over at the building again, "and everyone else when I'm ready."

"They'd like that," he nodded.

"Well, uh," I looked over to the other side of the street, "I better go."

He nodded and pulled me in for one last hug. "I missed you, kid."

"I missed you too." I closed my eyes and gave him a tight squeeze before pulling away and sighing. "We should get drinks soon."

"Only if you're buying," he wiggled his brows.

"Okay, as soon as I find a new job we'll go out for drinks."

"I'll hold you to it."

"Good," I nodded, "now go save the world you beautiful bastard."

He bowed his head, smiling one last time before he turnd on his heel and ran off. I stood there, watching him for a couple of seconds as he crossed the parking lot and went through the front doors. When he was gone, I sighed and started running again. I moved along the sidewalk quickly, staring at the building with a small smile as I continued forward. Part of me wondered what it'd be like to just follow him in there to say hello. I knew how inappropriate it'd be, but it didn't stop my mind from wandering.

I ran the rest of the way home. By the time I got to the front door I was barely breathing. I grabbed it, pushing it open to see Issac standing in the kitchen. He turned around, raising his brow. "Where'd you go?"

"Run," I said breathlessly. I walked over to the kitchen table and sat down, pushing some loose hair out of my face. I grabbed my phone out of my pocket and threw it on the table before leaning back in my seat and rubbing the sweat off my face.

"How'd it go?"

"Terrible," I coughed, "I'm so out of shape it's not even funny."

He snorted and walked over to the table, holding a glass of water. He slid it my way and sat down. "Luke called while you were gone. I gave him your number."

"My phone died while I was out so I'll charge it in a sec." I took a long chug of water, almost immediately feeling better. "Thanks."

"Maggie and I are thinking of going out for drinks once she's done work," he licked his lips and looked towards the bedroom door before looking back at me and smiling, "you're more than welcome to come."

"You sure?"

He nodded. "Maggie's been dying to talk to you."

"Really?" I scrunched up my face.

"Yeah."

"Well, uh, yeah," I smiled, "I'd like that."

"Cool. You should invite Luke too. He doesn't have a lot of friend's out here so I'm sure he'd love to come," he suggested.

I took another sip of my water, slowly finishing it off before placing the empty glass on the table and standing up. I grabbed my phone, along with the charger from my purse, and plugged it in near the TV. I set it on the coffee table, watching as it started to charge. "You mind if I take the shower?"

"Please," he motioned to the doorway of the bedroom, "you smell like ass."

I rolled my eyes and grabbed my stuff.

After I finished showering I stepped out, feeling my muscles ache. I groaned and made a mental note to stretch more the next time I decide to run. I closed my eyes, slowly moving towards the edge of the counter where my clothes sat. I dried myself off and changed, throwing on some deodorant afterwords.

When I came out of the bedroom Issac was still at the kitchen table, staring mindlessly at his phone. I walked over and sat on the couch, grabbing my own and turning it on. When the screen flashed brightly I checked my messages, realizing I had more than a couple. The second I saw the names of some of the the BAU members I let out a sigh. Morgan most likely told everyone that I was back, which definitely made the whole avoiding thing a lot more complicated.

MORGAN SAID YOU WERE HERE. WHEN DID YOU GET HERE? WHY HAVEN'T YOU CALLED ME YET? WHAT THE HELL — GARCIA.

Hope you're doing well kiddo. Come visit when you get a chance — Rossi.

Hey girl hope everything's okay. We should go for drinks soon — JJ.

I let out a heavy sigh, scrolling through to read the rest. The majority of them were repeats from Garcia, sending message after message trying to get my attention. After that I read one from Morgan, apologizing for the slip up, even though we both knew he did it on purpose. The last message I got was from Hotch. I clicked his name, narrowing my eyes as I read it.

Hello Isla. I heard through the grapevine you're looking for another job. I might be able to put in a good word somewhere for you. Give me a call and we'll talk.

I felt my heart flutter in my chest and called him almost immediately.

"That was fast," he chuckled.

"Hi, oh, my god, hi," I stood up from the couch, feeling suddenly overwhelmed by his voice. It'd been so long since I heard it. I almost forgot what it sounded like, "h-how are you?"

"I'm good. How are you holding up?"

"I've been worse," I joked, "how's work?"

"Busy. Strauss is away on vacation so my workload is double at the moment."

"At least you get a break from the dragon lady." I pointed out.

He snorted.

"Hey, Hotch?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm sorry I stopped talking to you," I looked over at Issac who looked back at me, raising his brow, "and everyone else." I looked down at the floor, feeling slightly ashamed at how pathetic I probably seemed.

"It's alright. I didn't call either."

"Yeah, well, you have a job to do and a kid to take care of," I retorted.

"I should still make time for my friends," he replied.

I knew not to argue the topic any further. I brought my hand to my mouth, chewing my thumbnail as I walked around to the other side of the coffee table and started pacing. "So, uh, I got your text, uh, obviously."

"Obviously," he laughed.

"I promise I'm not just calling because of that. I really do miss you and would love to see you when I'm, uh-"

"When you're ready," he finished.

"Yeah." I nodded.

"Of course. Well, uh, the job itself is more of a temporary position. One of the forensic pathologists here is going on maternity leave so we need someone to fill her spot. We've got a couple of applicants, but obviously with your experience you'd definitely top the list."

I widened my eyes. "Am I even allowed back there?"

"Yes. It's a completely different field of work, so aside from your pervious medical experience they won't really take into account the rest of the stuff," he replied, "Cooper, the uh, chief medical examiner also owes me a favour." I could hear the smirk forming at his lips.

I remained silent for a while, weighing the pros and cons. Being back at the BAU would be nice. I'd get to see my friends again. However, I'd also probably end up running into Reid and I wasn't entirely sure if I was ready for that. I could avoid him though. The examiner's office was on the main floor and it was a big building so even if we worked a similar schedule we might not even see each other. Strauss was there too though. I knew she was on vacation, but how long would that last? The second she came back she'd probably just try and get me fired again.

"Isla?"

"Hm?"

"You don't have to decide now."

"Right," I laughed, "I don't know why I just assumed."

"It's okay. Just give it a couple of days. Call me back on Monday at the latest."

I narrowed my eyes, trying to remember what day it was. It took a lot longer to remember than I cared to admit, but once I realized it was Friday I nodded to myself and stopped pacing. "Monday, got it."

"I have to go though."

"Murder time already, huh?" I smiled.

"Indeed," he sighed.

"Okay, well, good luck. Be safe."

"Always am." I heard him chuckle slightly as he hung up the phone.