the next few days me and ashtray barely argued , i don't know what's going on but it's making my head hurt. i'm so used to us arguing 24/7 that now , it doesn't feel normal that we aren't.

"i'm hungry." i thought out loud , sitting next to ashtray , faye and fezco on the couch.

"me too." faye agreed , making ashtray roll his eyes.

"ash can take you to go get something." fezco spoke , making me whip my head to him.

"like drive.. me?" i hated when ashtray would drive , he's so reckless. especially when fezco isnt in the car.

"malani , cmon." ashtray shook his head , standing up and grabbing the keys.

i waited a second to see if fezco or maybe ben faye would stand up , but neither of them did.

"now or never." i heard ashtray mumble behind me , making me stand up and grown.

"if he crashes , that's on you fez." i warned him , only making him laugh in return.

"imma crash on purpose." ash told me , getting in the driver seat as i got in the passenger seat.

i didn't give him any type of reply , putting on my seatbelt and mentally preparing for this.

as soon as he pulled off , out of instinct i grabbed his arm.

"malani , you can't do that." he said , almost swerving because of how fast i gripped his arm.

"sorry." i laughed , letting go of his arm.

this reminded me of a couple days ago , when cal came to the store. that was the first time i had noticed me and ashtray having littler arguments , and now we barely have them at all.

i don't think he's noticed though , he hasn't said anything.

"what do you want?" he asked , looking over at me for a quick second.

"mcdonald's." i pointed to the pick "M" sign.

he just nodded , pulling into the building.

"what do you want?" he asked me again , this time in the drive thru.

"chicken nuggets happy meal.. with apple slices." i answered , making him squint his eyes.

"you're fourteen. a happy meal?"

i rolled my eyes , "yes , ashtray."

he shook his head , turning to order.

once we had our food and everything , ashtray made his way back home , letting the only sound in the car be the radio.

it felt almost awkward sitting in the car , just us two.
and yeah me and ashtray might argue a lot , but it's never awkward.

"where was you all night , at the new years party?" i decided to start a conversation.

"selling." his normal short answers.

"outside? or what?" i asked again , doing anything to keep the conversation going.

"yeah." and after that i didn't really know what to say , and he didn't say anything so i just kept quiet.

-

"he looked jealous."

"he kissed her.. ashtray didn't."

"yeah but she went home with ashtray."

"they live together , he can get over it."

"i still think ashtray and mal look better together."

hazel , sage and anna were currently talking over new year's eve , the party. how me and miles kissed and how he "looked jealous" when i left with ashtray.

"have you talked to miles since the party , mal?" hazel asked me.

"nope." i answered , i didn't have his number or anything , the only time i could talk to him is at school.. and i'm far too scared to go up to him.

"see , no." anna shook her head , making me confused.

"what?" me and sage said at the same time.

"he kisses you and doesn't talk to you for four days.. no , mal." she said , pointing a finger at me and then taking some of hazels chips.

as if it was on cue or something , someone tapped my shoulder.. and it just happened to be miles.

"hey , malani."

i turned around too quickly , honestly excited to see him. "hi."

i heard someone scoff behind me , making me turn to see anna shaking her head.

"anna." i heard sage mumble , and then they were silent. anna doesn't like miles very well.

"so.. i was wondering if i could get your number." he said , rocking back and forth.

"so we can talk more.." he added , and i took his phone from his hand , putting it in his phone with the contact name , "malani"

"thanks. see you later." he smiled at me , waving as he walked off.

once i turned back around i was met with sage smiling , hazel looking at anna , and anna looking at me with an unimpressed look.

"mal.. are you dumb?" anna finally spoke.

"what?" i rolled my eyes , me and miles could end up being just friends.. it was one kiss.

"i'm just saying , i don't know if miles is the best idea." she shrugged , dropping it after that.

i nodded , anna liked to give her opinions.. i'm used to it.

-

later that night , me and my three friends agreed on meeting at waffle house. it wasn't far from my house , but fezco was sleeping so i didn't ask to go.. more of just left out of my window.

once we all had our food and sat down , we made some sort of conversation. until ashtray and that girl he was sitting with a little bit ago was brought up.

"did you ever find out what that girls name was.. the one that was sitting with ashtray?" sage asked me , making hazel and anna shut up to listen to my answer.

"no." i responded.

"i don't think they're dating anyway , he seems bored." hazel shrugged , getting a nod in agreement from anna.

"well , i'm done.. are y'all?" i changed the subject , not wanting to talk about ashtray of all people.

"yeah." they all said at the same time , cleaning up a little bit and then heading out.

we split , going our own ways home. and once i was home , i opened my window back up and climbed through. i turned around , taking off my jacket and shoes.

"where was yo ass?"

"jesus fucking christ , ashtray. what are you doing in my room?" i jumped at his words , not expecting anyone to be in my room.

he was sitting on my bed , looking at me.
"bored , where were you?"

"bored?.. you never come in here when you're bored." i said , ignoring his question and sitting down next to him.

he just shrugged , looking at me.

"i was at waffle house." i finally answered , still looking at him.

"mm." he hummed in response , laying down on the end of my bed.

this reminded me of when me and ashtray were younger , he would always sit in here for a little while , but that changed once ashtray hit the age eleven.

i moved over , laying next to him. which made him turn and look at me , but he didn't say anything.

"so , are you and that girl dating now?" i tried to start a conversation.

"nah , i don't like her." so i guess anna was right.

for a second i was almost happy to hear that response , which made me feel some type of way.

why would i care?
i like miles.

... right?

AUTHORS NOTES:

why is it so hard to come up with things to write 😔

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