i bit my nails sitting at my the same seat i've sat in since the school year started, for some reason, this time i'm more nervous to see amelia.

i felt.. bad? i didn't know for sure that she liked me or anything, but i was pretty sure. and i didn't want to maybe lead or on or have her thinking that she's getting anywhere with me.. because she isn't. i like ashtray, which makes me feel bad.

because i know 100% if i was in her position, i would be upset.

"hey!" that now familiar voice make my stomach turn.

"hey amelia." i gave her a small wave, turning to see her smiling at me already.

i tapped my nails on my desk, hoping at any moment the teacher would start talking and the awkwardness i felt would ease.

"hey, so i was wondering.. can i sit with you- and your friends at lunch?" she seemed nervous to ask me, and me being me, i could say no. that's rude.

"sure." i gave a slight smile, nodding and then turning back around as the teacher finally started talking.

this couldn't be so bad? i mean maybe we can end up being friends?..

——————————-

"are you sure mal?" hazel asked me, after i had told the three of them that amelia would be sitting with us today.

"it's just one day-." before i could finish my sentence i felt someone sit next to me. "hey!"

i smiled at her, turning to see my three friends giving her unsure looks, which only made me roll my eyes.

"this is sage, annalise, and hazel." i told amelia, pointing at each of them as i said their name.

"hey, amelia, right?" hazel spoke up first, making me let out a breathe of relief.

anna gave me a look, before sighing and joining in on hazel and amelia's conversation, which sage joined in soon after.

i just listened to the four of them talk, remembering some of the things amelia says, that way if we do become friends i can have those things in mind.

... that was until relationships came into the conversation.

"so, malani. do you have a boyfriend?.. or girlfriend?" amelia asked, turning to look at me.

anna raised her eyebrow, almost as if she was about to say something. so i made sure to speak before she did.

"uh.. is complicated?" i nodded.

i knew i should tell her about me and ashtray, that way she would know i like someone at the moment, incase she does like me.

"what about you, amelia?" annalise spoke up again.

i shook my head, not wanting to just put her on the spot like that. "um.. i mean, there's someone in mind but i think they're dating someone or something." she shrugged.

anna slowly nodded, before amelia spoke again. "what about you guys?" she asked the other three.

the three all said either "no." or shook their head, before quickly turning it back to her. "so, who do you like amelia?"

i shook my head, kicking annalise under the table.

"uh- you know.. just someone?" she nervously laughed, which made me feel bad at how they were putting her on the spot like that.

but i soon felt better when sage started a new topic.

——————————-

well, she went from sitting with us at lunch to hanging out with us all day.

currently, the four of us were sitting outside, about a block or two away from the store.

"i'm thirsty." hazel groaned, leaning her head on me.

"we can go to the store, if y'all want to." i suggested.

"the store?" amelia turned to me, sitting next to sage.

don't get me wrong, i love anna, hazel and sage. but it feels nice having another person around, learning about her and her interests.. and overall just hanging out with another person.

"oh yeah, it's a family business." i nodded.

"cmon, we can show you." hazel stood up, waving her hand for all of us to follow, which we did.

once we started waking amelia started the conversation, in the worst way possible.
"so, malani. you never told me who you like earlier?"

i looked over, not wanting to say it and feel bad if i am the person she likes. "uh..."

but once i felt sage nudge me, and nod her head. i sighed, ".. ashtray."

i furrowed my eyebrows, watching her pace slow and her face.. drop?

fuck.

"oh." she quickly fixed herself, giving me a small smile and turning.

the rest of the way was awkward, luckily we weren't that far.

"hey fez!" i greeted him, them following in the store close behind me.

"hey mal." he gave me a small smile.

i turned, seeing amelia looking almost confused, awkward. "oh- this is amelia." i pointed at her, and she gave him a small wave in return.

after that we all split, getting drinks. before joining back together at the register to pay.

"thanks." we all said, laying money on the counter and grabbing out drinks before walking out.

"who was that?" amelia asked once we stepped outside the store.

"my.. brother?" i answered, unsure to call him that since we weren't exactly siblings.

eventually ashtray was brought up again, and i explained to her how me and him weren't exactly able to date, and why.

i didn't wanna leave her hanging, so i had to explain. i just hope i won't regret telling her that.

—————————

i finally got home, tired.

once i passed the couch i was met with faye asleep, and ashtray and fezco weren't in the room.

so i slowly walked passed fezcos room, the door a little cracked. peeking inside, i saw his tv on and him asleep.

so i tip toed in the room, turning off the tv and putting the cover on him before walking out and shutting the door behind me.

i sighed, walking to my room and taking off my shoes and jacket.

after i sat down on my bed, before i could lay down and get comfortable. i bit my lip, deciding if i wanted to go see if ashtray wasn't sleeping or not.

fez could get up at any moment.
or faye.

fuck.

i took a deep breathe, quietly opening my door and slowly walking to his room. the doors closed, should i knock?.. that could wake fezco up..

i shook my head, opening the door.

once it was open and i could see, ashtray head whipped around at the sound of me stepping in the room and slowly closing the door behind me.
"hi."

he furrowed his eyebrows, "what are you doin?"

"good question." i replied, walking over to his bed and sitting down.

his eyes followed me the whole way there, now sat up. "you know fez-."

"could wake up any second? yeah." i finished his sentence, becoming bold all of a sudden.

he nodded, leaning back. "where were you all day?"

i slowly smiled, laying down on my back and looking up at the ceiling. "did you miss me or something?"

i heard him scoff, making me chuckle.
"i was with my friends.. and amelia."

i wasn't sure if i should call her my friend yet, today was our first time hanging out.

"amelia? why were you with her?" i listened to his voice, continuing to look up.

"i don't know.. she sat with us at lunch and we ended up hanging out." i shrugged, thinking if i should tell him i told her.. about me and him.

he hummed, going silent for a second. "i think she had a crush on you or some shit."

i turned to look at him, "yeah.. annalise said that too."

he nodded, seeming to be getting tired as time went on.

"i told her.. about liking you.. you know, i kinda felt bad.. if she does like me, and i was talking about liking someone else." i told him, watching a smirk creep on his face.

"you like me? woah." he sarcastically put his hands up, waving them around.

i rolled my eyes, "what? ew, never."

he chuckled, shaking his head. "you know, i'm surprised fezco hasn't found out yet."

"find out what? that you kissed me? i think that's all you." i smiled, making him roll his eyes.

"butttttt, how would he find out we kissed anyway? it would be different if we were dating or something." i added on.

he raised an eyebrow, "dating?"

i squinted my eyes, "yeah..?" but quickly scoffed and turned once i realized what he was doing.

"aw, you want to date me mal?"

"shut up." i responded.

and eventually we started some sort of conversation- or well, i more listened to him talk as i grew tired listening to his voice.

i tired keeping my eyes open, fearing that i'll fall asleep here and fezco will see and question it.

but as ashtray kept talking, my eyes grew heavy and i fell asleep.

AUTHORS NOTES:

sorry i've been busy so i didn't really have time to update.

ooo drama 😱😱😰😰🤯🤯🫢🫢🫢

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