for the third time this week , i bit the inside of my cheek either watching amelia and ashtray talk , or when i'm sitting next to her and she's talking to me.

after a few days ago when she sat next to me , she's done it everyday since. she'll speak to me for a minute and then after that we just really looked at each other.

and at lunch she sat in the same spot , once person down from ashtray. only this time , when the guy who sat between them would get up her and ashtray did talk.. sometimes.

i hate that i feel jealous just seeing them talk , but i can't help it. my thoughts go straight to them liking each other.

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ashtray sat beside me on the couch , faye on the other one and fezco in the bathroom at the moment.

i glanced over at ashtray , wondering if i should ask him about amelia or not.

oh fuck it.

"sooo.." i spoke up , trying to think of how i could go about this and not sound jealous.

he looked over at me , "what?"

"your.. friend amelia- she sits next to me in first hour. she's nice?.." i shook my head once my words left my mouth.

he squinted his eyes , "sure?"

i rolled my eyes at his response , hoping he would say more and i could get more of an answer if their actually just friends or not.

"she asks me about you." he spoke up again , making me whip my head around. "what?"

he nodded , "yeah. she asked if you were dating anybody." he started to open his mouth as if he was gonna say something else , but closed it again and kept looking at me.

why would she ask about me?
holy shit.
is she gay? or bi?.. or something else?
oh that's gonna be so embarrassing if she is.
this whole time i thought she liked ashtray and she might like me.

i had many questions circling my mind , but i just nodded and turned back to the tv.

i grabbed my phone , checking the time. 9:46
i pushed myself off the couch and made my way to my room , closing the door behind me.

as i do with almost everything i find out , i went to the group i had with hazel , annalise , and sage to tell them what ashtray told me.

and once they were done all giving different opinions , it was ten thirty-five.

i sighed out of boredom , turning on my tv and going to netflix to watch something until i get tired and eventually go to sleep.

however , two hours passed and i still didn't fall asleep. watching three different things , you would think i would get tired. but nope.

that was until my door opened and ashtray slowly walked in , making me sit up. "wanna go somewhere?"

i furrowed my eyebrows , it's midnight. and ashtray.. never wants to go anywhere. so him asking me if i wanted to go anywhere definitely surprises me.
"it's midnight?"

he rolled his eyes , coming closer and throwing the hoodie that was sat on my desk at me. "it was midnight when you went to waffle house."

slowly , i put the hoodie on and got up. "aw, your taking me to waffle house or something?"

again, he rolled his eyes and waited for me to slip on my shoes , and immediately after i was done , my phone in my hoodie pocket and all. he grabbed my wrist and pulled me out of my room.

"will you-." i started , quickly being cut off by his hand going over my mouth.

he didn't say anything until we were in his room , "shut the fuck up. fez could hear you."

i put my hands in the air , pretending to surrender. "okay big guy, sorry."

he shook his head , opening the door in his room that lead to the alley way outside , and walked out after me.

he glanced behind me as we started walking down the alley way, most likely checking is fezco heard the door close. but once nothing happened he turned back around and looked straight ahead, and i followed since i had no clue where we were going.

"why'd you bring you amelia earlier?" he spoke, his voice was quieter than usual.

i kicked at the rocks on the ground, looking up at him for a split second. "i don't know.. i was just telling you, i guess."

in all reality i thought he would tell me that the two of them were dating or something similar to that. and i didn't want to wait to see for myself, if they were. so i brought it up in hopes he would just tell me.

i looked up again, and he just nodded in response, before going silent again.

"so, where are we going anyway?" i asked, looking to see we had been walking straight for almost ten minutes.

again, he shrugged. "you don't know?" i squinted my eyes, he asked me if i wanted to go somewhere and he doesn't know where we're going?..

"i said 'somewhere' that isn't a specific place." he looked over at me.

i rolled my eyes, "well yeah, but i thought if you asked me to go somewhere at midnight you would have a place in mind."

and again, he shrugged and kept walking. that was until we walked past some path, it had a lot rocks leading down to something but i couldn't see what because it was dark.

but he turned, walking down that path. so of course, i followed him.

"oh this isn't scary at all." i mumbled, but he heard because he chuckled, shaking his head.

i kept my eyes on the ground, scared to look around and get paranoid. that was until i ran into his back, making me take a step back and look up.

"what are you-." i paused once seeing he had stopped, and in front of us was like a pond, thing. there was a wooden ground near it, up a little higher than the pond, im guessing so you can maybe fish or sit there and not get wet.

overall it was pretty.

i slowly stepped in front of him, going to walk to the wooden ground. and i sat down, which he soon joined.

we sat in silence, looking down at the water and listening to the wind and the crickets around us.

it felt and looked like some movie, to say the least i was enjoying it.

"why do you care so much if fezco finds out we kissed?" his voice was soft, and quiet. much softer, and quieter. than how he usually speaks.

"i don't know.. i guess i just think i should listen to him, if he doesn't want anything going on between us. you know, he raised me. it's the least i could do." i shrugged, looking over at him, although he was already looking at me.

"so whyd you kiss me again?" he asked, referring to at the party.

i bit my lip, thinking of how i should respond. these type of questions make me nervous, so i looked back down at the water. "i don't know."

he stayed silent for a minute, making me look back over at him. he was still looking at me, only this time he was smirking, making me confused.

"do you like me, malani?" he said sarcastically, making me roll my eyes.

"you? ew." i joked, making him chuckle and look back down to the water.

but that was a huge lie, joking or not. i did in fact like him, and everything in me wanted to tell him right now. but i was too much of a pussy to say it.

so instead, i pulled my knees up to my chest, hugging them to stay warm as i kept my eyes on the water in front of me.

AUTHORS NOTES:

guys how should i make them get together? i wanna do it soon but idk how i should do it

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