remember when i said i didn't want my friends to know that i kissed ashtray? yeah.. that didn't last long.

"WHAT?!"
"oh my god."
"you're being serious?"
"like deadass?"
"holy shit."

not even two days later i cracked and told them everything.

they were all standing up , and talking way too loud for my liking. so i pulled them down , ignoring everyone's stares.

"be quiet!" i told all of them , as they were looking at me with wide eyes.

"malani. this is the best thing ever , are y'all dating yet?" hazel asked.

i squinted my eyes , "do you not remember what i told you not even a year ago?"

she slowly shook her head , "you've told me a lot of things.. not even a year ago."

"about the fezco thing?" sage asked , getting a groan from the other two in response.

"malani who gives a shit!" anna slapped her hands on the table , looking me in the eyes.

"just don't tell him." hazel shrugged , and sage nodded , agreeing with her.

"oh yeah , it's almost as if me and ashtray don't live in the same house." i rolled my eyes , leaning back in my seat.

"so be super sneaky , duh." anna smirked , looking behind at where ashtray was sitting and then back to me.

i shook my head , unsure of this whole thing.
"it could've been just a one time thing."

they all rolled their eyes , "it could be. talk to him and see."

i laughed a little , i told him to pretend it never happened.. he'll probably get annoyed with me changing my mind.

but after the three kept trying to convince me , i eventually gave in. i'm way too gullible.

-

school ended , and i quickly made my way over to ashtray , only to see him standing not too far from miles.. who i was avoiding.

ashtray looked over at me , making me sigh in relief.
but when i waved for him to come over to me , he rolled his eyes and looked away.

no yeah , i deserve that.

i followed behind him the moment the bell rung , hurrying past miles and every other teenager that pushed their way out of the door.

"ashtray!" i shouted , walking faster to grab his arm.

but the moment my hand touched his arm , he stopped walking and turned to me. "the fuck do you want malani?"

i put my hands up in the air , not touching him anymore. "woah, tough guy. can we talk?"

he gave some look , basically saying "are you dumb?" without saying it.

"pleaseeee." i added , rocking back and forth.

he rolled his eyes , turning away and walking to fezcos car once he pulled up.

"was that a no?" i asked , walking closely behind him.

he ignored me again , making me grow annoyed and bored. maybe i should try to talk to him. it was once kiss , i should just drop it.

and since we were in fezs car now , i stopped waiting for him to answer.

fezco parked at the store , every week day the store is open until six , so usually me and ashtray go here after school. unless one of us ask him to take us home , which is like 99% if the time , me. ashtray goes with fez always.. except for when we kissed but , you get it.

all three of us walked into the store , fezco sitting in his usual spot and ashtray going into the freezers.
while i leaned against a wall near where faye sat last time lexi howard came here.

"are you and lexi dating , fez?" i spoke up , making him lift his head and look at me.

he smiled a little , shaking his head.

i smiled at him , he likes her. it's cute.

"what about you? that boy ash talked about a while ago?" this made me widen my eyes , fezcos NEVER asked me about boys.

i tensed , "no.. i don't like him."

he raised his eyebrows , giving me some look i couldn't quite understand. "everything good , mal?"

i quickly nodded , not wanting him to ask further and end up cracking , telling him everything.

"yeah. i just.. you know , it didn't work out."

he slowly nodded , i could tell he didn't believe me. but he didn't push further , and i'm glad he didn't because i would've cracked.

but he did ask one more question.
"do you like someone else or something?"

i looked up from the ground , not even taking the chance to look over at the freezers because he could easily put two and two together.

"just lie to him."

this feels so shitty. i shouldn't lie to him.

"i don't know , maybe." i shrugged , that's not really a lie. i'm not 100% sure how i feel about ashtray.

him nodding and looking over and the freezer made me bit my lip , praying that was just a coincidence and he didn't look over there because he knows.

the store door opened , and rue walked in.

"hey malani , hey fez." she smiled , giving both of us a small salute.

"hi rue." i smiled back.

she came over to us , dabbing up fez.
"whatchu doin here , rue?" he asked her.

"just.. came by to talk." she chuckled a little , hitting his arm playfully.

once the two started having their own conversation , i got up and made my way into the freezers.

ashtray listened to malani and fezcos entire conversation the second fez said , "that boy ash talked about awhile ago."
he knew "that boy." was miles , and he wanted to know if she still liked him.
he thought she did , but when she said no and "maybe." liking someone else , he was a little surprised. a hoped that someone was him.

"i'm bored." i complained the moment i walked in , ashtrays head shooting up at the sound of my voice.

"yeah me too , i've had to listen to you talk for twenty minutes." he replied , making me roll my eyes.

in someway i thought it would be different , talking to him now. but i did basically tell him to pretend to act like we never kissed , i'd act the same way.

"it was five minutes or less , relax." i said , sitting next to him.

he just nodded , going silent and keeping his eyes on rue and fezco.

we were alone , i could take this as my chance to talk to him. but fezco might hear. honestly , would care? yes. most likely?

i'm not risking it.

"do you think we should pretend it never happened?"

never mind , yes i am.

his eyes moved to me , "you know fez might hear you." he sarcastically put his hands on his cheeks , opening his mouth pretending to be shocked.

i rolled my eyes , leaning back in the chair.
"yes or no , asshole."

he shrugged , "i think you're stupid for listening to that little "rule" at all."

that isn't a yes or no.

"becauseee. it feels wrong , if he don't want us to.. be together or anything like that , we should listen." i told him.

he raised his eyebrow , "then there's your answer."

that only made me grow annoyed , "what do you think?.. lie to him? keep it a secret?"

a small smile slowly appeared on his lips , making me squint. "you're gonna keep a secret from fez? YOU?"

i crossed my arm , not finding him funny at all.

"bullshit. you'll tell him everything the moment you're under pressure." he chuckled , talking low.

i opened my mouth , going to defend myself but stopped. he's right.. i don't do well under pressure.

AUTHORS NOTES:

if you have any ideas at all feel free to tell me them , please 🙏🙏🙏🙏

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oh yeah , for sure!

(sorry i thought that was funny... yk bc that's my story.. okay.)

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gonna be completely honest , probably not😭 i've written three ashtray books that now if i tried to write one about anyone else it would be bad and feel weird LOL.. (sorry , i maybe can. idk)

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