Special: Anna's Letter

My love,




Today is the happiest and saddest day for Mommy. After two years, finally, we are blessed to have you. However, on this very day, an important part of my life silently passed away. Don't worry, love, because you're going to meet him soon. He's a fighter, a noble, a royalty. You'll grow up hearing tales of a black puma who protected mommy until his last breath. I'm not going to feed you fairytales that will warp your thoughts of a make-believe fairytale. Instead, I'm going to tell you adventures that will teach you about courage, love, and compassion.


I don't know how to feel right now. It's the mixed emotions that's confusing me. Funny, right? Mommy is already an adult but sometimes, her feelings still tend to confuse her. But it's alright. That's how we are—humans. I tried to push my loneliness away and instead jotted down possible names that would befit you, my love. Even if I don't even know your gender yet, Mommy is excited to meet you soon and spend time with you.


So many things have happened for the past few years of my life. Don't worry, you'll never stumble upon this letter at a young age where hatred, revenge, and danger are foreign concepts to you. I just pray that you never encounter any of these bad things in your life. But if you do, I hope that you are brave enough to face it.


A terrible woman came into our lives. She has a split personality. It means sometimes she's good, sometimes she's bad, and sometimes she doesn't even recognize herself. I know, love, this is complicated. But this terrible woman tried to ruin our family—our legacy. If not for Daddy and the brave, black puma, I don't know where I could be right now. They're our savior. I have never known any bond stronger than what I have with them. Sadly, the brave, black puma bid goodbye to us earlier this morning. He's old and sick. When people or animals grow old, they slowly go back to where they came from. Our brave, black puma has gone back to the eternal realms silently today. I could almost hear him saying that his job here is done. You are already here. He has protected me until the day I have secured you. He's leaving the job to Daddy.


Remember the terrible woman I just told you about? Well, she's confused and mentally-ill and ended up hitting the brave, black puma, leading to an amputated leg. Mommy cried for many nights while Daddy is in the operating room. I know, I know. It seems bad, isn't it? But now that I've thought about it, I don't even know where I got the strength to go through it all. Maybe a part of my subconscious knows that you are coming into our lives and I needed to be strong to overcome it so that today, I can welcome you with a much-better, healed heart.


I was raised by a strong, elegant woman who married her principles more than her own husband. It was both inspiring and terrifying. You will meet her soon, too. She taught me a lot of things. Most of the things I do is in honor of her and the family legacy.


I just want you to know that our family isn't perfect. Bad things happen, love. But there are also good things that are worth celebrating—you. I didn't realize that my dream finally came true when I had you. To feel you growing inside of me is a marvel and I will forever cherish the start of my motherhood today. I want to be a strong, compassionate mother to you. But let me say sorry first if sometimes, Mommy shuts herself out. Sometimes, I still have bad dreams about the terrible woman. Sometimes, I miss the brave, black puma terribly that my eyes get wet. When you feel sad, your eyes get wet and tears roll down your cheeks. But don't worry, it's just temporary. I'll recover and stand up again and again. I needed to be strong for you, be there for you, and care for you.


You must be wondering about Daddy, by now. Well, he's a very good man and I know he's going to be a wonderful father for you. I couldn't ask anyone else to father my child than him. But just like me, Daddy has bad sides, too. He gets silent when he's mad and sometimes, he has his own way of expressing his feelings. But that doesn't mean he doesn't love you. For him, you are his entire world. 


What I ask of you, love, is to grow with a happy heart, be compassionate, and be a gentle soul. Daddy and I are very eager to meet you soon. We will do everything we can to provide you a safe, comfortable life. I hope you also learn to humble yourself and be contented with what you have. You'll be happier, gentler, and resilient than ever. Right now, I am wondering what you'll become when you grow up. Will you be a writer? A baker? A lawyer? A business owner? I can't wait to find out. Whatever you want to be in life, I will support you with all my heart and help you whenever I can.


You already have friends waiting to meet you. Mommy has friends with little angels like you who would like to play with you as soon as you're here. Take your time, love. Whenever you are ready, we are here for you.


You are the greatest gift in our lives, darling. I have yet to meet you but I already love you so much. If we can fast forward the time, we will. Right now, we'll patiently wait for you to be ready and enter this little world we created just for you.


You are my treasure—the greatest. You are the most precious thing in my life. I love you.




Excited to meet you,


Mommy 

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