Chapter 4

"Let's cut class."

Muntik ko nang maibuga ang iniinom kong tubig sa sinabing iyon ni Jessica. She sounded bored, and placed both of her feet atop the desk. Sinita ko siya pero inignora niya lang ako. She yawned and throw her head back, glancing at me.

"Ayaw mo?"

"May quiz tayo sa Araling Panlipunan mamaya, Jessica." Mahinahon kong wika sa kaniya.

"Eh ano ngayon?" she rolled her eyes. "Hindi mo naman siguro ikakamatay ang isang missed quiz."

Natahimik ako sa sinabi niya. I glanced down at my lunch box. We've been friends for a week now, and so far, I am starting to like her. She's not like Denise or Shanna. Whatever she's thinking, she's saying it out loud. Jessica Marfori has a strong female voice, something I adore about her. Kaya nga lang, she's often judged because of the way she talks and dresses. I even heard girls badmouthing her at the ladies' room. Hindi ko nalang sinabi kay Jessica because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

And maybe they're badmouthing me too because I'm hanging out with her. I learned to ignore what they're saying because I'm happy with her company anyway. Those people who are talking ill to us couldn't even return my smiles when we bump across the hallway.

"Kahit na. Baka magalit sa akin si Mama."

Nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Jessica mula sa kaniyang phone. Pinaningkitan niya ako ng mga mata.

"Based on how you talk about your mother, I couldn't imagine her getting mad at you. Atsaka, kilala naman talaga ng buong La Union ang Mama mo bilang isang eleganteng babae."

"That's why I shouldn't disappoint her." I pointed out.

Jessica snorted. "Ever the good girl, Anna..."

Ngumuso ako. Even though we have completely different beliefs in life, I like how she's respecting our differences. Hindi niya ako pinipilit sa mga gusto niya. And she doesn't get mad at me for liking the things that I like.

"Susunduin ka ni Blake mamaya?" biglang tanong niya sa akin.

Nagulat ako at napatingin sa kaniya. Palagi ko ring kinukwento sa kaniya si Blake. Ganun din ang ginagawa ko kapag magkasama kami ni Blake. Si Jessica nalang palagi ang bukambibig ko.

"She seems good to me..." Blake commented, one afternoon, while he's driving me home. "You should let me meet her some time."

Tumango ako at sumang-ayon. Jessica is really a good person. And she's so fun to be with. Even though she's been misunderstood by many, she's cool and a ball of sunshine despite the black outfit scheme.

She kept her heart pure and her nails black.

We haven't talked about what happened at the car. We both pretended it didn't happen in the first place. Until now, I'm at a loss for words whenever I think about it. Gusto ko itong ikwento kay Jess, pero nahihiya ako. she is so experienced when it comes to relationship and boys. Marami na siyang naka-relasyon. She knows exactly what to say, how to act, and what to do with boys. While I'm left gasping in the dark.

Ilang araw nang ginagabi ng uwi si Papa kaya naisipan kong dalhan siya ng pagkain sa office niya. I told Blake about it, and he said it must be because the hacienda needs more workers and it's the peak season. Sumang-ayon naman siya na tutulungan niya ako.

I packed some tuna sandwiches, apricot juice, several apples and oranges, grapes, and a lettuce salad in my picnic basket while Blake waited patiently at the formal living room. Nagpatulong ako kay Manang Joji sa paghahanda ng mga dadalhin ko kay Papa.

I also asked Mama to come with me, but she declined and said she has a headache. Itutulog niya nalang daw iyon.

"Ayos lang po ba kayo? I could stay here and ask Blake to take the basket instead."

Nginitian ako ni Mama at hinalikan ang noo. "No, darling. You should go and see your father. Ayos lang ako dito. Atsaka nakakahiya kay Blake, baka may iba pa yang gagawin."

Tinamaan din ako ng hiya dahil sa sinabi ni Mama. Inisip kong busy din pala si Blake sa sarili nilang hacienda. He's managing their hacienda with his three brothers and it's a truth that we cannot deny, that their hacienda is more bountiful and bigger than ours.

"Wala ka bang gagawin mamaya? Baka nakakadisturbo lang ako..." wika ko habang pababa ng hagdan. I changed my uniform into a white summer dress and a pair of flip flops.

Nag-angat ng tingin sa akin si Blake mula sa kaniyang phone. Mabilis niya iyong isiniksik sa bulsa.

"I'm not doing anything, Anna. I'm at your disposal."

Ngumuso ako. "Pwede namang ako nalang mag-isa ang pumunta sa hacienda eh. Umuwi ka nalang sa inyo."

"And what? Let you go alone in that..." tinitigan niya ang suot kong dress. It shows a bit of my skin due to the spaghetti straps and it stops mid-thigh. It's one of my favorite dresses from Brandy Melville because it's cool and refreshing to wear. "that dress?" he said, like he's restraining himself from pouring out his frustration.

Tiningnan ko ang suot ko at kumunot din ang noo. "What's wrong with my dress?"

"Too short, young lady."

Halos malaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. "This is not too short! This is a summer dress!"

"I know. That's why I'm going with you." Tumayo na siya nang tuluyan na akong makababa at kinuha ang basket mula sa akin. I look so small, standing next to him. Hanggang kili-kili niya lang ata ako. "Let's go."

Hindi na ako nakipag-away pa sa kaniya at sabay na kaming nagpunta sa hacienda. Hindi naman kalayuan ang hacienda mula sa mansion namin. It's just down the hill, and we have a huge flower garden to pass by.

Papa initially built it to satisfy Mama. But it turned into business when some tourists are begging to come inside and see the beauty of the garden. Some would buy flowers and some would ask for tips in growing these beauties. Dito madalas iginugugol ni Mama ang oras niya. She's also part of the hacienda business, but mostly, it's Papa who's doing the work.

Medyo maputik ang daan dahil maulan kaya mabagal ang pagpapatakbo ni Blake. I didn't say anything when he turned the stereo on and a song from Nirvana blasted, making my ears bleed. Nakikisakay lang ako sa kaniya kaya dapat ay behave ako.

Nakita namin si Baste at ang tatay niyang si Mang Dante habang papalapit kami sa hacienda. Both of them are attending to the horses. Walang saplot na pang-itaas si Baste, at tulo nang tulo ang pawis niya. I suddenly felt bad for him. Dapat siguro ay niramihan ko ang dalang pagkain para makakain rin ang mga trabahante ng hacienda?

Blake frowned upon seeing me watching Baste in a distance. Nilingon ko siya. Mas lalo lamang lumalim ang kunot ng noo niya.

"Wala bang dress code ang mga trabahante ng hacienda niyo?" tanong niya na parang nagpipigil ng inis. "Bakit hubad nang hubad ang isang yan?"

Tumaas ang kilay ko sa naging tanong niya. "Si Baste?"

"Whatever his name is."

"Mainit kasi, Blake, kaya nakahubad siya. Tsaka nasanay na rin naman ako."

"Anong nasanay?" gulat na gulat niyang tanong sa akin. Ngayon ay may bahid ng galit ang boses niya. "Nasanay ka nang makakita ng mga hubad na lalaki, Savannah?!"

Uminit ang mga pisngi ko sa sinabi niya. The way he had said it... it made me feel like I'm such a pervert. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin. This is so awkward for me.

"H-Halos kababata ko na si Baste, Blake..."

"Kahit na! He shouldn't be taking his shirt off and flaunting his body to everyone!"

"Hayaan mo na..."

"Kakausapin ko ang batang yun mamaya."

"Blake!"

"No buts, Savannah."

I sighed and went silent. These days, I noticed that we were always arguing. And the subject of our argument are boys. Hindi naman siya ganito dati. I don't know what happened that he's suddenly so possessive and protective of me.

Ipinarada ni Blake ang kaniyang civic, at may isang trabahante na kaagad na lumapit sa amin. Humingi siya ng pasensiya sa putik sa sasakyan ni Blake at nagpresenta na lilinisan niya ang sasakyan.

"Ayos lang po, salamat." Magalang niyang wika sa matandang trabahador.

I smiled at him. Ilang taon na din siyang nagtatrabaho sa amin. We were truly blessed to have such hard-working hacienda workers. Blake has fired three of his men for the past months when he found out that they were thieves.

"Si Papa po?"

"Nasa office niya, senyorita."

"Sige po, salamat..."

Sumunod sa akin si Blake nang baybayin ko ang daan patungo sa opisina ni Papa. It's not that big, compared to his main office at the mansion. Gusto lang niyang may opisina siya malapit sa hacienda, so it wouldn't be hard for him to manage the papers while on the field.

Kumatok ako at pinagbuksan ng kaniyang sekretarya. She smiled at me when she saw me and her smile got even wider when she saw Blake behind me.

"Hi Miss Savannah! Napadaan ka po?"

"Si Papa po sana..." nakangiti kong wika sa kaniya.

"Nasa loob pa po ng opisina niya. May kausap pa po."

I nodded and pointed at the leather chairs lined next to each other near the door.

"Hihintayin ko nalang po siguro dito sa labas."

"Sige po, Miss." Nilawakan niya ang pagkakabukas ng pinto at pinapasok kaming dalawa ni Blake.

He looked around the office and then went silent. Ako naman ay matiyagang naghintay kay Papa at sa bisita niya na lumabas. Medyo nagtataka lang ako dahil kalahating oras na ang lumilipas ay hindi pa rin sila lumalabas.

"Baka gusto mo nang umuwi..." nahihiya kong wika kay Blake.

"It's fine." He assured me. "I have nothing else to do, Anna. Ihahatid pa kita pauwi sa inyo."

"Pwede naman akong magpahatid kay Baste."

"I won't let that shirtless boy drive you home. Ako ang maghahatid sa iyo, Anna." Matigas niyang wika.

Naputol ang pagtatalo namin nang biglang bumukas ang tinted glass door ng opisina ni Papa. A woman in her early 30's stepped out, looking dashing in her Jimmy Choo heels and faded jeans that made her legs look so round. She even has a Chanel handbag rested in her arms elegantly and her makeup is perfect. She glanced cattily at me, before she turned to my father who followed her outside.

"I'll expect you to be here, tomorrow, Valerie. 8 am sharp."

Isang matamis na ngiti ang inalay ng babae sa Papa ko. "I'll be here 15 minutes early, Sir."

I stared at her as she stepped out of the office and into the late afternoon sun. It seems like she's been the darling of the crowd and had caught the attention of everyone. Sinundan siya ng tingin ng mga lalaking trabahador ng hacienda.

"Papa..." bati ko at nilapitan siya. My father greeted me with a kiss on both cheeks.

"What brought you here, hija?" tila gulat na tanong ni Papa sa akin.

"Uhm... dinalhan ko po kayo ng pagkain." Nahihiya kong inangat ang basket at nginitian siya.

Papa nodded and gestured me to come inside his office. I wanted to ask who the woman was, but I know it's rude so I kept my mouth shut.

"Blake! It's good to see you here. How's your father doing?"

And soon, the two men were talking over the sandwiches I prepared while I couldn't take my mind off the fashionable woman earlier. She's dressed for the Paris fashion week instead of visiting Hacienda de la Rua. And that alone bothers me a lot.

Nang pauwiin na ako ni Papa ay hindi ko na napigilang tanungin ang sekretarya niya kung sino ang babae kanina.

"Nag-apply po sa hacienda bilang sekretarya. Ililipat na kasi ako sa main office, Miss Savannah." Magalang niyang sagot sa akin.

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Nagkatinginan kami ni Blake. She's not dressed for the part! I thought she's an investor or something.

Hanggang pauwi kami ay siya pa rin ang laman ng isip ko. Blake must've noticed my distress because he suddenly spoke in the middle of the road.

"I'm sure she's just into fashion or something..." he shrugged. "Huwag kang masyadong mag-alala, Anna."

"Something about her... feels off." Naisatinig ko nalang.

"Want me to do a background check on her?"

Binalingan ko si Blake at nag-isip saglit. Then, my shoulders slumped in disappointment.

"No. It's okay. It would be rude to look up on someone like her. Gusto lang ng trabaho ng tao."

"Just tell me if you want it, I would gladly do it for you."

"I'm great, Blake. She doesn't look like someone who'd do me bad."

"Well, the thieves in our hacienda are well-dressed and well-versed so there's no telling..." he shrugged.

I never told Mama about Papa's new secretary because I was waiting for him to tell her by himself but he never mentioned the beautiful woman in his office, even after several dinners later.

Iwinaksi ko na rin sa isipan ko ang babaeng iyon. I trust Papa and I know he's not going to do anything that would hurt Mama.

"Punta ka sa Halloween costume party namin..." wika ko kay Jessica, isang hapon habang naghihintay kaming dalawa kay Blake na sunduin ako pagkatapos ng klase.

She turned to me, a bit shocked. "You're inviting me to a De la Rua party?"

I nodded happily. "Yes."

"And it's a costume party..." she blinked slowly.

"Yes."

The Halloween costume party is my mother's idea. And I loved it a lot. Every year, I get to dressed up like my favorite cartoon character. Last year, Mama helped me with my Tinker Bell costume. And it was so fun to see Papa's serious business associates dressed like Jack Sparrow, Roger Rabbit, and Captain Hook.

"Woah. Baka hindi kayanin ng kinikita ko sa gig ang gastos para sa costume, Savannah. Nakakahiya naman kung mukha lang akong basura doon."

"Don't worry. I'll let you borrow whatever you need for your costume. Punta ka, please?"

Matagal siyang nag-isip. I stared at my friend hopefully, praying hard that she'll say yes to my invitation. Mayamaya pa ay naglakbay ang tingin niya sa likuran ko at unti-unting umukit ang isang malawak na ngiti sa kaniyang labi.

"Tell me that hottie is going to the costume party, too..." she said in a whisper.

Nilingon ko ang ininguso niya at nakitang papalapit na sa aming dalawa si Blake, seryoso ang mukha at mukhang kakagaling lang sa trabaho. My cheeks reddened and I nodded to my friend.

She squealed in delight. "Girl, I am definitely coming to that party!"

Nagtawanan kaming dalawa. I finally introduced Jessica to Blake, and they seemed to like each other. Alex stopped texting and sending me rose these past few days. Sa tuwing nakikita ko naman siya at tinatangkang kausapin ay hindi niya ako pinapansin, o iniiwasan niya ako.

I admit I was hurt. He made me feel so ugly just when I'm starting to believe that I could be as beautiful and elegant as my mother. Alam kong disappointed din ang parents ko dahil hindi siya sumipot pagkatapos ng ilang beses na invitation ni Mama sa kaniya for dinner.

"Doon tayo sa The Basement." Jessica said comfortably, once we're both settled at the backseat. I caught the disapproving look in Blake's face, upon the mention of the bar. I sent him an apologetic look through the rearview mirror.

"Isn't that a bar?"

"Oo. May gig kami mamaya. Gusto kong manuod si Savannah." Jess turned to me and winked when Blake brought the engine to life.

"Alam ba 'to ng Mama mo, Anna?" tanong ni Blake sa akin.

Kaagad akong tumango. It took me a while to convince both my parents that I'm going to that bar. Kung hindi ko nabanggit na kasama ko si Blake ay malamang hindi nila ako papayagan.

"Alam niya, Blake."

"Hindi ka iinom." Matigas niyang wika.

Mabilis na umalma si Jessica. "Eh anong gagawin niya dun?"

"Manunuod lang siya. Iuuwi ko din siya pagkatapos." Seryoso niyang wika.

Ngumuso ako. Lumapit si Jessica sa akin at may ibinulong.

"Hindi mo naman sinabi sa akin na conservative pala ang poging 'to, Savannah..."

We both giggled while Blake is driving seriously and in silence. Dahil walang traffic jam ay mabilis kaming nakarating sa The Basement. Papalubog na ang araw kaya marami-rami na ring tao sa loob at labas ng bar.

It's my first time stepping inside a bar. Para akong batang dinala sa amusement park. I stared at the surroundings, comparing it to the bars I've imagined inside of my head every time I read novels.

There are people dancing, drunk people telling jokes, a bartender trying to flirt with the female tipsy customer, and bottles of brandy, wine, vodka, and rum lined next to each other.

I can't believe that a 17-year old Jessica is working here.

"Dito kayo..." iginiya kami ni Jess sa isang bakanteng table, malapit sa maliit na stage kung saan siya kakanta mamaya.

Blake pulled a chair for me. I murmured my thanks and sat down. Umupo siya sa tabi ko at inobserbahan din ang paligid.

"So, what can I get you?" Jessica queried. Binalingan niya ako.

"Uhm..."

"Iced tea for her." Mabilis na sagot ni Blake para sa akin. "And a glass of brandy for me."

"Kill-joy..." Jessica rolled her eyes and sauntered towards the counter. I apologized again to Blake.

"Are you sure she's your friend?"

I chuckled nervously. "Ganun lang talaga siya. But swear, Jessica is a pure-hearted girl."

"Really..." he said dryly.

She came back a few minutes later with our drinks. Napansin kong nagpalit din siya ng damit. The Jessica outfit, I must say. A pair of black tights, black and red corset, and a vintage leather jacket that made her look like a 20-something woman instead of a 17-year old student.

"I'm going to perform in a while..." she said, gathering her thick, black hair in a ponytail. "Sit down and enjoy." She said, winking at me and walking confidently towards the stage. Nagpalakpakan kaagad ang mga tao pagkakita sa kaniya.

I turned to Blake and smiled, before taking a sip of my iced tea.

"Salamat nga pala sa pagsama mo rito sa akin. I really wanted to see Jess perform."

He shrugged and downed his glass of brandy in just one gulp. I know he's the kind of guy that has a high alcohol tolerance, kaya nagtaka ako nang hindi na siya um-order pa pagkatapos niyang maubos ang kaniya.

"Ayaw mo na?"

He turned to me, his eyes serious. In the stage, I could hear Jessica greeting the people a good evening and announcing the title of the song she's going to sing.

"I can't be drunk, Savannah. Ihahatid pa kita sa inyo..." simple niyang sagot.

I pouted again. When I heard the familiar intro of the song, I immediately turned to my friend who's holding the mic right now, her lips moving sensually as she mouthed the first lyrics of the song.

Cinnamon in my teeth

From your kiss

You're touching me

All the pills that you did

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me

At arm's length don't work

You try to push me out

But I just find my way back in

Violet, blue, green, red to keep me out

I win

I was stunned when I heard her dreamy voice. I could compare her voice to an angel, or any soft creature. With her outfit tonight, I thought she's going to sing a maddening rock music but she's serenading us with Lana del Rey's cinnamon girl.

There's things I wanna say to you

But I'll just let you live

Like if you hold me without hurting me

You'll be the first who ever did

There's things I wanna talk about

But better not to keep

But if you hold me without hurting me

You'll be the first who ever did

I turned to Blake, who's surprisingly listening to her singing intently. Napangiti ako. I touched his arm and he jolted na para bang nakuryente ko siya. He quickly turned to me.

"Are you sure you're not going to order?" pangungulit ko sa kaniya. "You should enjoy yourself."

He sighed. "No, Anna. I don't trust myself when I'm drunk...and when I'm with you..." he said in almost a whisper.

I bit my lower lip and nodded. He turned to me again and placed a hand on top of my head.

"So be a good girl, okay? And behave."

I know I'm not drunk, so I was wondering where I got the courage to lean closer to him and smile sensually. Iyon kasi ang palaging itinuturo sa akin ni Jess. She said it works every time. And I want to try if it'll also work with me.

"And what will happen if I don't behave?"

"Anna..." he said in a warning tone.

I throw my head back and laughed, liking the newfound confidence in me.

"No... I want to know... what will happen?"

I almost yelped when he grabbed my waist and placed his hot mouth next to my ears. Nakikiliti ako at gustong ilayo ang mukha ko pero hindi ako makagalaw.

"I would do things that I shouldn't do to a sixteen-year old girl so behave, Savannah...." Marahas siyang suminghap at hinigpitan ang kaniyang hawak sa beywang ko, na para bang nanggigigil siya sa akin. "Stay still, baby, please?"

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah

Hold me, love me, touch me, honey

Be the first who ever did

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah,

Hold me, love me, touch me, honey

Be the first who ever did

I was starting to get dizzy by then as I got drunk on his perfume and weakly nodded my head. Jess' sensual voice continued to ring in the background while I struggled to catch my own breath.

It was such a relief when he finally pulled away from me. I clutched my chest, realizing that I fell on my own trap.