Chapter 20

I couldn't wipe the stupid grin off my face as I went home that day. It was a wonderful feeling that I haven't experienced for quite a while.

But the fleeting moment was suddenly gone as soon as I went home. Napansin ko kaagad na halos walang tao sa bahay, bukod sa mga kasambahay na halos hindi makatingin sa akin. I scanned the surroundings and saw no one. Valerie and her children. Even my father.

Just when I was about to voice out the question burning in my head, Manang Joji suddenly showed up. Her eyes were red and puffy as she snorted on her handkerchief.

"Manang Joji!"

"Anna!" she exclaimed. Mabibilis ang mga hakbang niya at kaagad akong niyakap. Humagulhol siya. Her cries were enough to sent me into a frizz. Pati ako ay kinakabahan na rin ang nakakaramdam na ng matinding panghahapdi sa dibdib.

"Ano pong nangyari? Nasan sila? Si Papa?" I queried.

She continued crying. My legs went weak when she finally managed to say, in between sobs, that my father was rushed to the hospital today. He started throwing things around and acting like a child, wandering the mansion in his undergarments. When he was confronted by the housekeepers, he got mad and ended up hurting one of them. It was so unimaginable, and I started crying as I listened to Manang Joji.

"Tatawagan ka na sana namin, Anna. Dinala na sa ospital ang Papa mo."

I wiped my tears and nodded. Hindi na ako nag-abalang magbihis pa at dumiretso kaagad sa ospital. Halos hindi ako mapakali habang nasa sasakyan ako. Moments later, my phone vibrated. I received a text message from Blake, saying how he misses me and asking if he could call.

I ignored him.

Nagpapakatatag ako habang tinatanaw ang daan hanggang sa makarating kami sa naturang ospital. I quickly climbed outside the car and headed inside the hospital. Itinanong ko sa nurse kung may nakaregister bang Simone De la Rua dito.

"Meron po. Kaano-ano kayo ng pasyente?" magalang niyang tanong.

I bit my lower lip. "A-Anak niya po ako..."

She nodded and typed something to her computer. Pagkatapos ay itinuro niya ang kaliwang corridor.

"Nasa room 54 po ang Papa niyo."

"Salamat." Imik ko at hindi na nag-aksaya pa ng oras. Kaagad kong tinungo ang room 54. I knocked twice and went inside.

Tatlong pares ng mga mata ang napatingin sa akin—kay Samantha, Steve, at Valerie. As soon as she saw me, her lips pursed in disapproval.

"Buti naman naisipan mo pang pumunta dito. Your father has been rushed to the hospital, and you're nowhere to be found! Anong klaseng anak ka?"

I ignored her and went straight to my father's bed. He's sleeping but I could see the strains of fatigue on his old face. He looked older and he's shrunk a lot, like an old little man. Parang may kumukuyumos sa puso ko habang pinagmamasdan siya.

"Kung hindi ko nakita ang Papa mo, ano nalang ang mangyayari, ha?!" galit na usal ni Valerie. "Palibhasa kasi, wala kang ibang inatupag kundi ang lalaki mo!"

I turned to her sharply, my eyes narrowing. Nagpupuyos na talaga ang puso ko dahil sa nangyari kay Papa. And if she doesn't stop nagging me, I'd probably gonna lose my head.

"Mommy, tama na po..." mahinang sambit ni Samantha. "Kararating lang po ni Anna."

"Dapat nga hindi na siya pinapasok dito, eh!"

"Valerie." I straightened my back and stared directly at her. Walang kurap-kurap kong sinabi ang nasa isipan. "I am thankful that you have brought my father to the hospital. And I know I've neglected my father. I may not be a perfect daughter, but I still have my morals and manners. Class, Valerie. Hindi yun nabibili o napag-aaralan. You are born with it. Bitbit ko yun kahit saan ako magpunta. Bitbit ko rin yun ngayon kahit na nanginginig ako dahil sa nabalitaang na-ospital si Papa. I'm not asking you to have class. I'm just asking you to be quiet. And if you really have manners, you will leave the two of us alone because I wanted to speak to my father as soon as he wakes up."

"How dare you—"

"Mommy, tara na po!" ani Samantha at hinila kaagad ang braso ni Valerie bago niya ako masugod. Umismid si Steve. Ignored the three and turned to my father again. Hinila ko ang upuan at naupo sa kaniyang tabi.

"Tara na, Mommy, at gutom na ako! Nandito na si Anna kaya siya na muna magbantay sa Tatay niya..." ani Steve at nauna nang lumabas.

I could feel the weight of Valerie's glare at me as they headed outside. It didn't bother me one bit. Nakaupo lang ako at pinagmamasdan si Papa.

Papa and I talked. And I could see how sorry he was for everything that's happened. I don't want to face the painful reality that maybe, I am losing time. I wanted to be the one to take care of my father, as I failed to do it with my mother. Ayokong bigla nalang siyang mawala sa akin na hindi ko pa naihahanda ang sarili ko. I don't want to go through the same pain again.

"Anastasia..." he croaked.

Napaigtad ako. Papa is slowly opening his eyes and his lips are moving. Hinawakan ko kaagad ang kamay niya at pinisil.

"Papa, si Anna po ito..."

"Anastasia..." he muttered again, his eyes half-closed. Napapikit din ako ng mga mata, iniinda ang sakit na unti-unting dumudurog sa akin.

"Papa, may gusto po ba kayo? Tubig?" ani ko at patayo na sana nang maramdaman ko ang mahinang kagat ng kamay niya sa braso ko. I looked down at his trembling hands and then back to his face. My heart shattered into pieces when I saw silent tears slipping from his half-closed eyes.

"Walang kwentang asawa ako sa iyo at iresponsableng ama kay Anna... nakakahiya. I couldn't face you. I'd probably never be able to see you again. An immoral man like me is bound to burn in hell while you're in the paradise right now. Anong gagawin ko... si Savannah, Anastasia... hindi ko siya pwedeng iwanang mag-isa... She's still a little girl for me..."

Dahan-dahan akong naupo at nakinig na lamang sa mahihinang usal ni Papa. He keeps on calling for my mother and I'm glad Valerie isn't here at the moment. I'm sure she'll turn into a mad beast once she hears her "husband" calling her ex-wife's name instead of her as soon as he wakes up.

"I'm sorry, Anna... I'm so sorry..."

A sob was caught in my throat. I tried to swallow the lump but more tears came into my eyes. kinagat ko ang pang-ibabang labi habang nanginginig ang mga balikat. Tinakpan ko na lamang ang bibig habang patuloy sa pag-agos ang mga luha at ang pagbuhos ng emosyon ko.

I promised to myself that I'm going to be strong for the sake of my father. But what am I doing right now? Nahihiya din ako sa sarili ko.

Mula noon ay araw-araw na akong nagpupunta sa ospital. Valerie only stayed there when my father was rushed but now she's been out and about, doing God knows what. Papa fell severely ill. There are times when he'd frown at me, because he couldn't recognize me at all.

"Anna, magpahinga ka muna..." ani Blake na malamlam ang tingin sa akin. He handed me a cup of coffee. "I'm sorry, I couldn't find any open coffee shops at this hour. Sa vendo lang ako bumili."

"It's okay. Thank you, Blake..." I said silently.

Inilibot niya ang paningin at bahagyang kumunot ang noo nang may mapagtanto siya. My father is out for a test that would only take a few minutes, so we were left alone in his hospital room.

"Hindi nagpupunta si Valerie dito?"

I shrugged, taking a sip of my coffee. Marahan ko itong inilapag sa katabing lamesa at tumitig sa kaniya. "She doesn't need to be here, anyway."

"Anna..." he sighed. I know he's weary. Blake tries to be here as much as he can. Kaming dalawa ang nagbabantay kay Papa. Even his father came to see his old friend and I could see deep regrets in his eyes.

"Kung buhay lang sana si Anastasia ngayon, I know your father can make it..." mahina niyang usal. "Anastasia gives him so much life that when she disappeared, he was never the same man before."

I wanted my mother to be here, too. She can handle this thing better. I know she'll be the strongest and my father will be able to recover. Siya lang naman ang hinahanap ni Papa. My presence here isn't much appreciated but I stayed anyway, even if he doesn't know me anymore.

"Get some sleep. Ako na ang sasalubong sa Papa mo," ani Blake.

Tumango ako at hindi na nakipagtalo pa. We're both tired. Ihinilig ko ang ulo at pinagkasya ang sarili sa maliit na couch. Blake surprised me when he pulled out a fleece blanket from his backpack. Nilapitan niya ako at kinumutan.

"Sleep well, okay? Your father's going to be alright." He said and kissed my forehead. Napapikit ako at nang magmulat ng mga mata ay nakitang nakatitig siya sa akin. My lips curved into a small smile.

"Thank you..." I muttered before dozing off to sleep.

For the next few weeks, it has all been about my father. The doctor has been very honest with me and told me that his condition is deteriorating. Nabubuhayan lang kami ng loob kapag minsang tinatawag niya akong Savannah o di kaya'y hinahanap si Savannah kahit nasa harapan na niya ako.

"Keep talking to your father. You're doing a good job." He said and patted my shoulders.

I nodded and then glanced at the frail, old man that is my father. He had once been the wealthiest man in La Union with an athletic built and charming smile. Now he's just an old man who couldn't go to toilet by himself. It is very hard to watch him succumbing into the illness day by day. Tinatatagan ko na lamang ang loob dahil alam kong para din ito sa aming dalawa.

"Miss Savannah De la Rua?"

I stared at the middle-aged man with round glasses and a kind smile. He appeared in the hospital room one morning and introduced himself as my father's lawyer. Pamilyar nga ang mukha niya. I think I saw him in the house when I was still a kid.

"I am Atty. Frances de Guzman, your father's lawyer. I came here today to check on him when I heard he's in the hospital. Pasensiya ka na, Anna, at ngayon lang nakarating sa akin ang balita. I spent the last two months abroad."

I nodded gratefully. He's the one who arranged the annulment papers for my parents. During the most crucial parts of my life, he's always the witness. And now that my father is ill, he's here again.

Unti-unting nawala ang ngiti sa mukha niya nang makita ang kalagayan ng tatay ko. Nilapitan niya ang kaibigan at bumuntong-hininga.

"I never expected this to happen. I'm so sorry, Anna..." nilingon niya ako na nangungusap ang mga mata.

I nodded gratefully. Ipinagkrus ko ang mga kamay sa dibdib at tinabihan siya.

"Hinahanda ko na po ang sarili ko, kasi palaging sinasabi ng doktor ang pwedeng mangyari kay Papa kapag nagpatuloy pa ito."

"Well, you know what's going to happen if anything happens to your father, right?"

I turned to him, a bit puzzled.

"You are his sole heiress and trustee, Savannah. Sa iyo mapupunta lahat ng ari-arian ng mga De la Rua dahil ikaw nalang ang nag-iisang naiwan. Unless something happens to you as well ay saka lang mapupunta sa kaniyang bagong asawa ang kayamanan ninyo."

"So, Valerie gets nothing out of him if..." I trailed off and choked. Halos hindi ko maipagpatuloy ang gustong sabihin.

"Yes. His new wife gets nothing... even a single cent. Your father emailed me a few months ago to arrange the papers. Hindi na rin ako nagulat. The De la Rua properties are fruit of your parent's hard work. Naalala ko pa noon kung paano halos nagpapakamatay sa pagtatrabaho si Simone at Anastasia lalo na nang dumating ka. They're not the best partners, but they're good parents out there for securing your future. Walang kinalaman si Valerie doon kaya't wala siyang karapatan sa kahit anong pagmamay-ari ninyo. Maybe he's going to give her some token. But I doubt it'll be a three-digit amount."

Para akong nabunutan ng tinik sa sinabi ni attorney. My father promised me that he's going to file an annulment for his second marriage with Valerie but I doubt he can do it until he gets a little better. Gusto kong gumaling siya hindi lang upang mahiwalayan niya si Valerie kundi pati na rin ang makita niya kung papaano ko unti-unting ibabangon ang negosyo namin.

"But I heard that the hacienda is not doing good nowadays. Anastasia is not just beautiful but also a brilliant businesswoman. It's a shame that she left. Pakiramdam ko'y doon nagsimulang bumagsak ang negosyo."

"Don't worry about it, attorney. Aayusin ko po ang iniwan ni mommy para sa akin."

He smiled ruefully. "You're just like your mother, Anna."

"Salamat po..."

Summer is about to end and I still haven't made a move about college. I was too engrossed in caring for my sick father while Valerie is out there, wasting his money in endless shopping and going out with her friends. At first, I ignored it. But when I heard that she even hosted a brunch with her wealthy amigas, that's when I got furious and confronted her.

"Papa is in the hospital, fighting for his life while you're here wasting his money?"

"I'm not wasting his money." She lifted her chin arrogantly. "Pera ko din yun. Isa akong De la Rua, Anna. At hindi mo maipagkakait sa akin iyan. Besides, matagal na itong napagplanuhan namin. Nakakahiya naman kung biglang hindi nalang matutuloy dahil nasa ospital si Simone."

I pursed my lips, containing my anger. If there's anything I could be proud of, it's taking after my mother's trait to control her anger no matter how bad the situation is. Composure. Class. Caliber. These are the three C's that Valerie wouldn't have, even if we're sharing the same name.

"If you have any empathy left in your body, Valerie, now is the time to show it. We're losing time. We're losing Papa..." I choked on a sob at the last part of my sentence.

Valerie looked guilty for a second, but she quickly concealed it with an arrogant shrug.

"I'll visit your father soon. I'm sure he'll feel better once he sees me..."

That is, if he could still remember you...

Blake mentioned college a few times during his visit to the hospital. He said he'd arrange Atty. de Guzman to find a competent university for me here in La Union. Buo na ang desisyon kong tungkol sa negosyo ang kursong kukunin. If I am going to take over the hacienda, I need to prepare myself for it.

"There's Sta. Veronica College, Saint Louis College, at Don Mariano Marco Memorial State University..." he enumerated. "But I'll have to check first and narrow down the list. Sigurado ka na sa kursong kukunin mo?"

I nodded quietly. Inilapag ni Blake ang hawak na notepad. He reached for my hand. Naging dahilan ito upang mapaigtad ako at mapatingin sa kaniya.

"Everything's going to be alright, Anna. Be strong."

Isang tipid na ngiti ang lumitaw sa mga labi ko. I like that he's here, cheering me up. Sometimes, when I'm alone in the hospital room and my father barely recognizes me, I could feel my sanity slipping.

"Why don't we get something to eat?" he glanced at his Rolex. "It's still 9. May bukas pang mga restaurants ngayon."

I hesitated for a bit. Ayokong iniiwan si Papa kahit na minsan ay tinataboy na niya ako at ibang tao ang hinahanap. But Blake managed to convince me to go with him. Nangako akong kalahating oras lang na mawawala at lumabas muna ng ospital. As soon as I stepped out, the fresh night breeze caressed my cheeks. I sighed away. I can't remember the last time I allowed myself to relax.

Despite the burning worry at the back of my head, I enjoyed a quiet dinner with Blake. It's nice to go out sometimes during these difficult times. And I'm so thankful that he's been nothing but a patient man since he learned what's going on with my father.

Time was against me. It ticked so slow that every second is agonizing me to death. I was alone and reading a book when I heard my father move. Napaangat ako ng tingin. Minsan ay nagigising siya at kinakausap ako na para bang bago lang kaming magkakilala.

Papa is muttering something under his breath until he started shaking. Doon na ako napatayo at mabilis na tinungo ang intercom upang tumawag ng mga nurse na pwedeng um-assist sa amin.

"Papa, what's wrong?" I asked, trying to calm him down. He continued muttering and shaking and I could already see foam in his mouth. Naghihisterya na ako nang dumating ang tumatakbong mga nurse. I was pushed away from my father while they communicated in language that I do not understand. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at pinilit na patatagin ang sarili. This is déjà vu. But it has got to be the worst déjà vu I have ever experienced. It's like a nightmare that I couldn't wake myself from.

"Call Dr. Santos!" I heard the head nurse command, while she's pressing her hand to my father's chest and checking the tube.

Nakatayo lang ako sa tabi, pinapanuod ang Papa ko at ang mga nakapalibot na nurse sa kaniya. The doctor arrived after a few minutes. He sent me a worried look before he checked my father.

May kung anong itinusok ang doktor kay Papa upang kumalma siya. Unti-unting nanlanta ang katawan niya at tumigil na din siya sa agresibong panginginig. I hesitantly stepped towards my father. Tinabihan ko ang doktor.

"Be strong, Anna. Be strong for your father. Now is the best time to be a good daughter." He said, but his voice is laced with finality and the disappointment of someone who could no longer do anything to save him.

"Papa..." my voice croaked. Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at hinawakan nang mahigpit ang kamay niya. Silent tears slipped from my eyes. "Pinapatawad na po kita..."

The nurses and the doctor stepped away, giving us some space. I held my father's hand in the end, and watched him close his eyes. A tear fell from his left eye. Hinalikan ko ang kamay niya at napaluhod sa tabi ng kaniyang kama.

Simone De la Rua died that night.