Chapter 14

I could smell the fire. It carries the awful fragrance of death and the cries of people burning. The thick wall of fire, higher than the gate's mansion, horrified me. Hindi pa man naipaparada ni Blake ang sasakyan ay tumalon na ako at mabilis na tumakbo patungo sa kung saan ang mga bombero at iilan sa mga tao ay nagkakagulo.

"Savannah!" pagalit na sigaw ni Blake.

I ignored him as my heart roared inside of my chest. Quickly scanning the crowd, I looked for my mother... Lolo Ferdie... Lola Amelia... Barin...

"They're not here..." halos naghihisterikal ko nang wika. I could hear the firefighters talking about the people trapped inside, and I burst into tears.

Kumalat ang hapdi sa dibdib ko nang makalanghap ng maitim na usok galing sa nasusunog na mansion. The flames are too high and it's impossible to get in. The fire is now running to the back cottage where we store the food for the animals.

"Mama!" I cried out loud. I frantically looked for her in the small crowd and my heart crushed when I couldn't see even a glimpse of her. I ran to the back door, sobbing out loud. The fire is getting stronger and there were sparks everywhere. Out of the corner of my eyes, I saw a huge shadow moved. Tumigil ako sa pagtakbo. The shadow kept moving back and forth through the fire.

Amidst the angry, red haze of fire, I saw Barin's crystal-blue eyes. Parang tumalon ang puso ko. He's trapped inside! He's whimpering and pacing back and forth, unsure how to jump from the fire.

"Barin!" I called to him, and he immediately turned. My face is covered with smoke, cheeks stained with tears as I shouted at him. "Come on boy, jump! Jump, please!" garalgal ang boses kong tawag sa kaniya.

Barin hesitated for a moment. He touched his paw to the flame and hissed angrily. Mas lalo pa akong naiyak. He's hesitating.

"Barin... please..."

"Anna!"

I saw Blake running towards me with a very dark look on his face. I ignored his anger and focused on Barin. He's still pacing back and forth. Hindi na siya makabalik sa loob dahil sa kumalat na apoy. Tanging ang maliit na espasyo na kinatatayuan niya ang hindi natutupok ng apoy at kung mananatili pa siya doon, I'd watch my pet die before my eyes.

"Barin! Please!" I begged again. "Come on! You can do it..."

Mahigpit ang hawak ko sa kamay ni Blake habang tulo pa rin nang tulo ang luha ko. A shrilling, cold scream left my mouth when the chandelier inside collapsed, startling Barin and causing more fire.

For a moment, I thought he's just going to stand there, looking majestic as the fire engulfs him alive. But my brave cat jumped as high as he could. His left hind leg caught fire, generating a low growl from him but he continued to run as fast as he could while the back door behind him is collapsing.

Sinalubong ko si Barin ng mahigpit na yakap. I got hurt from the fire on his fur but I didn't mind it. Burying my face into the crook of his neck, I cried harder.

"You're such a good boy, Barin..." I whispered through my tears.

"Anna, let's go." Ani Blake na kanina pa nag-aalala para sa akin. The fire is getting bigger and bigger. Umuusok na pati ang mga mata ko.

Weak from what had just happened, I pulled myself up. Hindi makalakad nang maayos si Barin. Hindi ko binitawan ang collar niya at mabagal kaming naglakad patungo sa harap ng mansion.

"Lolo!" I cried. Doon ko pa nabitawan si Barin nang makita ko ang Lolo na isinasakay sa stretcher. He's knocked unconscious and I saw a huge, deep red on his stomach. Parang bumaliktad ang sikmura ko sa nakita at gusto nalang manghina. "Lolo..." I cried as I held his hand.

"Anna..." he croaked. "Si Anna..."

My eyes are blind with tears as I stared at him. "Nasan po si Mama?"

His face is pained at the mention of his daughter. I couldn't see Lola Amelia. Tanging si Lolo pa lang ang nakita ko.

"Anna's still inside... Amelia, too."

Suddenly, I find it hard to breathe. The smoke, fire, and water have accumulated in my lungs and it is squeezing my heart alive. It felt as if my bones have been cracked and thrown into the ground. Nangangapa na ako. Blake is already talking to the firefighter and some random medical staff pushed me away from the stretcher so they could get my Lolo inside the ambulance.

Hindi ko na alam ang gagawin ko. Everyone's panicking and I'm still in my gown. Tulo lang nang tulo ang mga luha ko. Barin stared at the huge fire as I cried more. Suddenly, he pulled himself up and continued staring at the fire before he run and leap inside.

"Barin!" the scream left again from my mouth as I failed to run after him. May isang firefighter ang mabilis na nakahablot sa braso ko. I watched the black puma disappeared into the fire. Mas lalo pang lumakas ang hagulhol ko.

"Shit..."

I turned and saw Blake. My eyes widened in horror as I saw the same determination in his eyes. Itinakip niya ang basang panyo sa kaniyang ilong at katulad nang ginawa ni Barin, lumusong din siya sa apoy.

By that time, I have been knocked unconscious, too.

Everything is so finite. Nothing in this world lasts. The constant beep of a machine from the hospital is like a death sound. It is a scary sound because you'll never know when it would stop beeping. And with every beep comes the promise of the eternal unconsciousness.

I've never really thought of death. Rare, living people think of death while they were still alive. It's not something as pleasing as opening a gift or buying a new dress. While death is inevitable, it is still a scary thought.

When the stars exploded billions of years ago and created everything here on earth, why didn't the gift of being stardust comes with immortality? Why is infinity always an impossible idea? Why can't we be with our loved ones for as much as we want to?

My mind went blank while I was outside the operating room, waiting patiently for the only survivor of the fire. My dress is ruined. The nurse is very kind to lend me a pair of white shirt and pajamas earlier but I don't have the energy to stand up and change. Hindi ako maalis sa kinauupuan ko. Any minute, the doctors will come out and I am hoping they bring good news about my Lolo's condition.

Humugot ako ng isang malalim na hininga. It was such a long night, watching the mansion that the Villafuerte couple built from the scratch gone down into flames. The workers of the rice fields wept, their good friends shed a tear at the incident, and many people are coming to me, asking if I'm okay and saying sorry for what happened.

But really, who cares? They're gone. They're all gone.

"Anna..."

I weakly lifted my head and saw Blake. The moron acquired a second-degree burn when he leapt into the fire to retrieve my pet. Barin is already biting the collar of my Lola's shirt when he found her unconscious in the grand parlor. Blake lifted her up and they wounded their way out of the mansion but when I first saw my grandmother in his eyes, I know he was already carrying a corpse. It was too late.

Nanginig ang kalamnan ko sa panunuot ng sakit. I closed my eyes and let the tears fall. Blake sat beside me in silence. Then I felt something warm on my hands. When I opened my eyes, he was handing me a cup of coffee.

"Drink this."

"Ayokong—"

"Please, Anna. Hindi ka pa natutulog."

I'm too tired to argue with him. Kinuha ko ang paper cup mula sa kaniya. The coffee is so bitter and hot. I took it in one gulp and placed it back in my hands. I could see the small ripples of the liquid caused by my shaking fingers.

"Barin is being taken care of. He's burnt his back leg badly."

I winced. I'm too tired to cry now. All I know is I want to close my eyes and just breathe. Even breathing seems difficult for me now. My heart aches for my mother, my grandmother, my grandfather who's still fighting for his life inside, and my brave Barin.

"Anna..."

"I'm going to be alone now..." tears spilled from my eyes. I just turned 18 and my life turned upside down all of a sudden. If turning 18 means being adult and being on your own, then I want to remain 17 forever.

"Papunta na ang Papa mo dito, Savannah." Mahinang wika ni Blake.

"I don't need him." I said bitterly.

"Anna..." he said in a tone as if talking to a five-year old kid. "Your father will handle everything. Don't worry about it. I'm also here. My brother and father will be flying here as soon as possible. Na-contact ko na sila. We're all here for you. Ang kailangan mo nalang gawin ngayon ay magpakatatag."

How am I supposed to do that? More tears escaped from my eyes as the image of my mother's corpse flashed inside of my mind. She was found dead near the grand staircase. The mayor died, too. Some of the housekeepers have managed to escape, and some of them acquired severe injuries.

Bumuhos ulit ang mga luha ko. I can't believe two of the best women in my life are suddenly gone. It happened so fast. Without warning. Hindi man lang ako nakapaghanda. My last image of my mother is when she was waiting for my down the stairs, greeting me happy birthday and telling me that I looked so beautiful in my royal blue gown.

Nang iniluwal na ng pinto ang doctor na nag-opera kay Lolo ay halos mawalan na ako ng malay sa sobrang kaba. He was looking for an adult to talk to.

"Ako po. I'm his granddaughter."

"Where are his children? Mag-isa ka lang ba?"

"She's with me." Blake stepped up and looked him square in the eye.

I couldn't read the doctor's eyes. All I could see is tiredness and exhaustion from an emergency operation at 3 in the morning when my Lolo was rushed in the hospital.

"I'd like to be honest with you. His situation is not that good. He fell into a coma and there's no guarantee that he'll wake up again. He's damaged his kidney and his lungs are affected, too. There are few burns in his body. But I can see that he's fighting. That old man is a fighter." He tapped my shoulder with his hands and squeezed it tightly. "He needs your prayer."

The only time I got to sleep was when Tito Cristophe and Dexter Sobreval arrived. They looked so worried. Tito hugged me and told me that everything's going to be alright. They also assured me that my father is on his way here.

Paggising ko ay sobrang bigat ng pakiramdam ko. I stared at the blank wall for a few minutes, trying to convince myself that this is just all a bad dream. That if I sleep again, I'd wake up and it's still my birthday. I'm 18 and my family is complete.

Natulog ulit ako pero nang magising ay napagtantong hindi panaginip ang lahat ng nangyari. The fire was real, and it took my mother and grandmother away. The city mayor too, and some of the guests who have stayed late in my party. Wala akong nagawa kundi umiyak nalang ulit.

"Anna..."

I turned and saw my estranged father. This is my first time that I've seen him in two years. He looked older than I remembered him, with fine lines in his forehead and strains in his face. He's wearing his old brown leather jacket and just like me, he looks like he hadn't sleep yet.

Despite my hatred for what he did to our family, I found myself hugging him and crying desperately like a little girl that I am.

"I'm sorry, Anna... I'm sorry..." he murmured. "I promise to never leave you again..." Papa said as he kissed the top of my head.

Humigpit pa ang yakap ko sa kaniya. I missed hugging him so much. I missed his forehead kisses and his gentle voice. I missed having a father. Two years with my mother and grandparents have been great. Pero hindi pa rin nito mapapantayan ang pagmamahal ng isang buong pamilya.

Papa was there for me. Hindi niya ako iniwan. He knows Lolo would hate him when he wakes up only to find him but he didn't care much. He also arranged the funeral for my mother and my grandmother.

It was a dignified funeral service for the two of respected women. Many people attended and wept for their deaths. I saw a lot of unfamiliar faces and felt more alone than ever.

Mainit ang tirik ng araw pero hindi pa rin ako umaalis sa malaking tent. Papa arranged food services for the people who attended. Ilang beses na akong tinawag pero hindi pa rin ako gumagalaw mula sa kinauupuan ko. Blake tried talking to me and failed miserably because I wouldn't speak and wouldn't respond to any of his words.

Nevertheless, he stayed by my side.

Out of the corner of my eyes, I caught a glimpse of a familiar slender figure walking towards the other tent where most of the people are gathered. I turned sharply and my heart almost skipped a beat when I saw Valerie, who is walking gallantly as if she's in a runaway show and not a funeral. She's wearing a white laced maxi dress that hugs her perfect body and wore a pair of strap heels even though it's hilly.

Mabilis ang tibok ng puso kong tumayo sa kabila ng init.

"Anong ginagawa mo dito?" I almost shouted at her. My father and some other guests turned when they heard my angry voice.

Valerie turned to me, raised a brow and then gave me a once-over before she smirked. "I'm showing sympathy for your mother, Savannah. What else?"

"You have no right to show up here!" Naramdaman ko bigla ang paghawak ni Blake sa braso ko pero napuno na talaga ng galit ang puso ko para pigilan ang paglabas ng hinanakit sa bibig. "You're my father's mistress! You ruined our family! If it weren't for you, my mother would still be alive!"

"Well, too bad that bitch is dead, eh?"

Horrified and my emotions thrown all over the ground, I grabbed her hair before I felt her long nails digging into my skin. Doon na nagkagulo. Papa immediately pulled himself up. Pinaghiwalay niya kaming dalawa ni Valerie. Sigaw pa rin ako nang sigaw. Tears are streaming down my face as I cursed her, in front of my mother's coffin.

I was still crying even after my father silently scolded Valerie for showing up. Nanginginig ang buong katawan ko sa sobrang galit. I couldn't remember being this mad, and it hurts me to see that my father is still enthralled with that woman after all these years.

"That child has no manners, Simone!" Valerie spat, obviously angry at the humiliation I caused her. Most of the rich people in town have come to pay their respect to my mother and grandmother, and they have witnessed our little cat fight. "Is this how she's going to treat her stepmother?"

My face turned white as I turned to my father, who couldn't look at me now. I was expecting that the disappearance of my mother would make him realize that Valerie is indeed a mistake but now...

"Pinakasalan mo po siya, Papa?"

He couldn't answer me. I could feel my entire world collapsing by then. I looked at Blake and he wouldn't meet my eyes, too.

"Ikaw!" I jabbed an angry finger at his chest. "You knew about it from the start and yet you didn't tell me!"

I've never felt so betrayed in my life. This has happened twice. I've been disappointed by my father again. Kung kailan sinusubukan kong buksan ang puso sa kaniya, saka ko pa malalaman na talagang sinira na niya nang tuluyan ang pamilya namin.

"I married your father last year. You have no right to call me a mistress. Isa na din akong De la Rua!"

I could feel my heart ripping apart. Kumalat ang hapdi sa dibdib ko at nagliyab ng matinding galit. I could already feel my claws digging deep into that woman's face.

"Anna..." mahinang wika ni Papa.

"Please don't tell me you love me, Papa, if you really don't mean it." I sobbed.

"I really do love you, Savannah."

I shook my head and walked away. Blake wanted to go with me but because of anger, I shouted at him and told him to leave me alone. Nagpunta ako sa likod ng tent kung saan nakatali si Barin. He still had the bandage from his burns.

My eyes watered again as I stared at him. I fell into my knees and hugged him, as I continued crying out loud.