Chapter 13

Chapter 13



The thought of being finally an adult thrilled me, as the stylist focused on applying my makeup. Inipit ko ang pang-ibabang labi. No one would call me a kid anymore.


I stared at the attractive stumble of my hair as smile crept up to my lips. The stylist made a good job on making me look very mature. Though I really miss Greta, I think she'd do a great job for more parties that she'd dress me up.


My phone vibrated. Bumaba ang tingin ko sa hawak na cellphone at nakita ang text na kaninang umaga ko pa hinihintay. I quickly glanced at the clock. It's already 8 in the morning. Kakagising lang ba niya?


Blake:


Meet me in the woods tonight.


Sumilay ulit ang ngiti sa mga labi ko. I could imagine him, sitting up on his bed, half-asleep and yawning while typing a text for me.


Kumalat ang init sa mga pisngi ko nang bigla kong naisip kung anong maaaring suot niya ngayon. Though I've never seen him in his pajamas before, I'm sure a man like him wouldn't bother wearing one when he's sleeping. He's probably topless... or maybe...


Ano ba, Savannah! Nakakahiya ka!


The stylist shot me a weird look when she saw me shaking my head by myself. Kaagad akong umayos nang upo at nginitian siya. I quickly typed an 'ok' reply and placed my phone atop the dresser.


Muntik na akong atakihin sa puso nang biglang mag-ring ang phone ko. Panic rippled throughout my body as I stumbled for my phone and cleared my throat.


But all the excitement disappeared when I saw the caller ID.


Papa.


Ilang segundo pa akong tulala at nakatitig sa phone ko habang tinitimbang kung dapat ko ba itong sagutin. My heart ached at the raw pain that's still fresh as it lingered inside of my chest. Nagkatinginan pa kami ng stylist na para bang nasa kaniya ang sagot kung dapat ko bang sagutin ang tawag mula sa amang iniwan ako dalawang taon na ang nakakalipas.


"Excuse me po..." I said silently, and pulled myself up after a while. I decided to be mature and accept the call from my estranged father. These wounds will never heal if I keep on running away from my past.


With shaking hands, I opened the big windows of my room to let the air in. Ang stylist ay naupo sa dulo ng aking kama at pinaglaruan ang mga makeup brushes niya habang may kinakalikot din sa sariling cellphone.


I could hear the heavy breathing from the other line, and even the hesitation.


"Savannah?" came my father's deep, baritone voice.


"Papa." I said in a clipped tone.


He let out a sigh of relief. "I thought you're not going to answer my call again..."


A pang of guilt hit my chest, which I decided to ignore. Nakatanaw lang ako sa abalang mga tauhan sa baba na nags-set up para sa party ko mamaya.


"Happy birthday, sweetheart." He said in a forced cheerful tone.


"Thank you po."


"You're 18 today, right? Ang laki mo na..."


Somehow, his brittle voice clawed a grave inside of my chest. I've never heard him this vulnerable. The last time I saw him, he was in pain and his eyes are full of regrets.


"Opo..."


"K-Kumusta ang Mama mo?"


My eyes unconsciously wandered to look for my mother. I found her talking to the young city mayor, laughing and exchanging pleasantries as she guided him inside the mansion. I've noticed that they've been seeing each other frequently, ever since she was spotted and featured in a local magazine. My mother's ethereal beauty never faded, and the young city mayor seems enthralled. She's already in her 40s, but there are times when she'd look younger than me.


"Ayos lang po si Mama."


Papa cleared his throat. I'd be lying if I deny that I miss my father, too. No matter how toxic he is, he's still my father. And I still miss being his girl before Valerie ruined our family.


"I see..."


Gusto ko sana siyang kumustahin. Hinigpitan ko ang hawak sa aking cellphone, nagtatangkang hugutin ang lakas ng loob para makausap nang maayos ang aking ama. All these inconsequential conversations would not make sense to me. I wanted to know if he's okay, if he's healthy, and I wanted to ask about Baste...


"Papa—"


I was cut mid-sentence when I heard a voice, female, sexy, and horribly familiar, called from a distance. She's calling my father by his name. And the laced tone of her voice made me sick.


"Simone! Breakfast...."


My father cleared his throat again. I heard muffling sounds from the background, and then it went quiet again.


"Sorry, hija. What was that?"


I refused to believe that the voice belongs to Valerie. Masasaktan lang ako. But I know her too well to be mistaken. Blinking back the tears from my eyes, I shook my head even though he cannot see me.


"W-Wala po. Sige po, Papa. Inaayusan pa po kasi ako, eh. Salamat po sa pagtawag."


"Oh." I could hear the disappointment and sadness in his voice. "Alright. Mag-iingat ka, anak."


"Opo..."


"I love you, Anna..."


Hindi na ako sumagot pa at pinatay na ang tawag. Nang-iinit ang sulok ng mga mata ko habang nakatingin pa rin ako sa kawalan. The way he said it... I know I'm not the Anna that he's referring. It was for my mother.


I took a deep breath, struggling to calm myself. It's my birthday today. Valerie is miles away from me. I can't let her ruin a very special day.


Determined not to be affected by that disturbing voice, I smiled at the stylist and told her to continue the application of makeup. It took us another 30 minutes before finished and I headed downstairs.


"Anna! Look at you..." my mother beamed when she saw me descending down the stairs. I'm already on my champagne ball gown in classic blue with white undertone. The little brilliants of fire on my wrist glows even in my slightest move. It was a gift from my mother that she gave last night and told me to wear it for the party.


"Hi, Mama."


"Ang ganda-ganda mo, anak!"


"Not as pretty as you..." I pouted.


She laughed softly. Mama is wearing a silk green jumpsuit and pearl necklace. She paired it with black square heels and a pair of Chanel sunglasses. Since she's tall and lean, she looked like someone who stepped out from an Italian movie.


"Hindi mo po ba ipapakilala sa akin si Mayor?" I continued to tease her, grinning from ear to ear. May kausap pa ang Mayor sa likod pero maya't maya ay sumusulyap siya sa Mama ko.


"We're just friends, hija..." she shook her head, but the smile on her lips and the glow in her eyes told me otherwise. Tumango ako at hindi na siya kinulit pa.


My mother formally introduced me to the city mayor, and after exchanging polite kisses on the cheeks, the videographer and editor approached me to start shooting for my debut memoir video.


Ibinuhos ko ang kalahating araw sa shooting. Minsan ay nagti-text sa akin si Blake. He wanted to call, but I couldn't sit down and talk to him while everyone is busy.


The visitors started to arrive, and as expected, halos lahat ng naroon ay mga kakilala at kaibigan ni Lolo at Lola, pati na rin ni Mama. I invited some of my classmates out of courtesy, and I'm surprised that some of them showed up even though we're not that close.


Magtatakip silim na nang magsimula ang party. The food is great, the music is a blast, and the decorations are very pretty. Mama and Lola Amelia really did a good job on preparing and hosting for the party. The 8-tier royal blue cake intimidated me and the band that they hired to personally play for us.


Mga pinsan kong lalaki ang nakasayaw ko sa 18 roses, habang dalawa naman ay galing sa mga classmates ko. Lolo danced with me, too. He's such a good dancer and kissed me on the forehead before letting go. Even Barin got a chance to dance with me. We were just circling around each other and I patted his head as he was assisted back into the mansion.


I entertained some of my classmates out of respect and to mind my manners. Mama is seen talking to the mayor again and some of her amigas. Lolo and Lola are dancing with the jazz music.


The idea of throwing a party for my birthday horrified me at first, because I thought no one would come and it would be boring. But with my family and relatives here, I decided that I'm going to be just fine as long as I have them.


Naramdaman ko ulit ang mahinang vibration ng aking phone. Bahagya akong lumayo at tuluyan nang nagpaalam sa table ng mga kaklase ko nang makitang si Blake ang nagtext.


Blake:


I'm here. See you in 10.


Kinalma ko ang puso at napatingin sa kakahuyan. Malapit lang ito sa palayan. We wouldn't be able to meet at the fields tonight because it is visible from the garden and anyone would easily spot us.


Everyone is still busy eating, dancing, and drinking. I saw it as an opportunity to escape and run to the woods using the shortcut. Frowning at my big ball gown, I wondered briefly if I could make it to the woods without tripping. Hinubad ko nalang ang suot na heels at nag-desisyong magpakita kay Blake na ganito ang suot.


Glancing at them once again, my heart throbbed with so much joy. Even though part of my family is ruined because of a woman, I'm still thankful that I have them. Mama, Lolo, Lola, my relatives, and my cousins.


I lifted the skirt of my gown and then started walking towards the back gate. Some of the guests are drunk and now that the program is officially over, I'm sure no one would look for me.


Mabagal ang paglalakad ko, dahilan na rin sa wala akong saplot sa paa at maputik. The night wind blew, and the moonlight's soft glow is my only light that leads me to the woods.


Hinihingal na ako nasa kalagitnaan pa lang ng palayan. Maybe it's because of the gown. I could hear music inside of my head. Nilibang ko nalang ang sarili at inignora ang panunuot ng pagod sa mga buto ko.


I took a little journey to the unknown


And I come back changed I can feel it in my bones


I fucked with forces that our eyes can't see


Now the darkness got a hold on me


How long baby have I been away?


It feels like ages though you say it's only days


There ain't language for the things I've seen


The truth is stranger than my own worst dreams


I glanced around when I finally reached the woods, looking for the familiar white pick-up that Blake uses here in the city. Mabagal akong naglakad habang hinahanap siya. I am tempted to text him but I wanted to surprise him.


I have seen what the darkness does


Say goodbye to who I was


I ain't never been away so long


Don't look back them day are gone


Follow me into the endless night


I can bring your fears to live


Show me yours and I'll show you mine


Meet me in the woods tonight


"Anna."


I almost yelped when a strong hand caught my arm. Swallowing the fear when I recognized the familiar manly scent of Blake, I turned and saw him staring down at me.


"Blake..." I breathed.


"You're running." He said in a slightly disapproving tone. "Baka madapa ka pa." he said, gesturing to the grandiose gown that I am wearing.


I smiled at him and took a step back. Unti-unti ko ding tinanggal ang braso mula sa kamay niya. "Am I late?"


"You're not late." Blake said darkly, as he shoved his free hands inside the pockets of his hoodie.


"May pupuntahan ba tayo?" tanong ko sa kaniya nang bigla nalang siyang maglakad papunta sa kung saan niya ipinarada ang kaniyang sasakyan.


"Yes."


I followed him and climbed inside his car. Destiny is my friend tonight. As soon as I turned on the radio, the song I was humming to myself earlier played. Lord Huron's 'Meet Me in the Woods' is such a refresher.


Hindi matanggal ang ngiti sa mukha ko habang inaatras ni Blake ang sasakyan hanggang sa makalabas na kami sa kakahuyan. I turned off my phone and placed it inside the compartment. The mansion is getting smaller in my vision until it became a dot as we headed south.


I spotted two small bottles of whiskey when I opened the compartment. Binalingan ko si Blake na seryosong nagmamaneho ng sasakyan. Wala pa man akong sinasabi ay inunahan na niya ako.


"You can't drink that, Savannah." He said sternly.


I pouted. "But I just turned eighteen!"


"And?"


"Pinayagan nga ako ni Mama na uminom ng vodka kanina sa party ko, eh." Pagmamaktol ko pa.


"Yeah, well, I'm not your mother."


"Eh ano ka?"


"Ano nga ba ako?" he murmured under his breath. Tumaas ang kilay ko, hindi pa rin binibitawan ang hawak na bote.


Hindi ako nakaimik kaagad. Unti-unting lumuwag ang hawak ko sa bote hanggang sa tuluyan ko na itong ibinalik sa compartment. I bit my lower lip as the question swam inside of my head.


Ano tayo, Blake?


I can't voice it out. I'm afraid that if I ask a very critical and risky question, it'll ruin everything for us. Him, searching for me from La Union to Negros is already a big thing. And him, kissing me before I turned 18...


We're not friends. We're not lovers, too.


Binalingan ko si Blake. No matter how many years have passed, I still feel the same attraction towards him as if seeing him for the first time.


I guess it's safe to say that we're somewhere between being friends and being lovers.


The drive lasted for about 45 minutes, before I caught the salty smell of the beach. My heart fluttered again. So, he's taking me to the beach tonight, huh?


Napatunayan ko nga ang teorya nang bumagal ang takbo namin pagkarating sa isang resort. He parked the vehicle and turned to me with serious eyes.


"Hindi mo pa sinasagot ang tanong ko..."


I shivered at the rough edges of his voice. Swallowing hard, I averted my gaze away. Hindi ko kayang makipagtitigan sa kaniya, lalo na kung ganyan ang intensidad ng mga titig niya.


"W-We'll talk about that later." I said, faking bravery.


"Okay." Blake replied coolly, and then climbed out of the vehicle. Pinagbuksan niya ako at inalalayan pababa. Doon pa niya napansin na wala akong suot na sapatos.


Frowning, he stared at my bare feet.


"Where are your shoes?"


"Iniwan ko sa mansion."


Blake sighed and then crouched. Tumaas ang kilay ko at nang mapagtanto ang balak niyang gawin ay kaagad ko siyang pinigilan.


"Blake, ayos lang ako—"


"Your mother would kill me, Anna, if you hurt your feet and scar your precious skin." He said under his breath, handing his shoes to me. Ang itim nalang niyang medyas ang naiwan. "Besides, I still have my socks. And it's sandy here, so..."


Bahagya akong na-guilty na kailangan niyang mag-paa dahil nasa akin ang sapatos niya. I slipped into his shoes and even though it's twice as big as my feet, it's comfortable and warm. Binalingan ko ulit si Blake at nahihiyang ngumiti sa kaniya.


"Salamat..."


He nodded and held my hand as we entered the resort. I'm sure it's an expensive resort. Kakaunti lang ang tao. And the decorations looked very expensive. The stone pathway is decorated with fairy lights that generated a soft, yellowish glow in the dark. I could hear the crashing of the waves from a near distance and the faint music coming from someone who's playing the violin. Nakangiti kaming sinalubong ng babaeng receptionist.


"Mr. Sobreval?"


He nodded again. Humigpit ang hawak niya sa kamay ko nang nilapitan namin ang desk.


"This way, please." She said politely. She's one of the rare females that doesn't get attracted to Blake. Or if she's really attracted, she's doing a good job hiding it from showing on her face.


Or maybe because I'm with him?


The thought made knots in the muscles of my stomach.


Pumasok kami sa isang maliit na function hall kung saan nanggagaling ang musika. There are few other couples and one family scattered inside, eating quietly and murmuring over the soft music playing in the background.


The receptionist gestured towards the table. She made sure we were properly seated before she smiled and left us. Food is already served and a bottle of chilled wine is waiting to be opened.


Bahagya akong ngumuso. "You don't want me to drink your precious whiskey but there's wine?"


"The package came with a bottle of wine." He explained calmly, opening it expertly using bare hands and then pouring me a little amount of red liquid.


I groaned out loud. Seriously? He's still treating me like a kid!


"I can handle wine."


"No, you can't."


"May wine din kami sa mansion. Lolo likes to drink. Sometimes, he'd pour me a glass." Depensa ko pa.


"I don't want you to get home drunk, okay?" he said in his most patience voice. "Your mother would kill me."


Irap ang naging sagot ko kay Blake dahil alam kong talo naman ako. We started eating. Even though I'm full, the tasty spare ribs with sweet and spicy sauce and the pasta got my mouth watering in delight.


May ibang patingin-tingin sa amin. It must seem weird to them that I'm wearing a ball gown while Blake is just wearing a plain hoodie. Even though he's dressed simply tonight, the brute is standing out in the crowd. Nagmukha tuloy akong pilit sa suot kong gown.


I asked him about his brothers. Supladong mga sagot lang ang natamo ko sa kaniya. Iniba ko ang topic at si Jess ang pinag-usapan namin. He said she's starting to take musical lessons and will probably stay in La Union for college. Nabanggit niya rin na minsan silang nagkikita ni Jess para kumain.


"Let's dance," he announced when the waiter cleared out our plates.


I blinked at him.


"What?"


"The music's good. Let's dance, Savannah..."


When Blake stood up, I panicked for a bit. May iba pa kasing mga tao! Kung bigla lang kaming sasayaw, paniguradong pagtitinginan lang kami.


"Blake..."


"Come on. I wanted to be part of your 18 roses but since I wasn't able to attend your party, please do the honor of dancing with me here. It's the best I could do."


"O-Okay..."


He grabbed the flower from the tall, slim vase sitting on our table and wiped the stem before giving it to me. Nahihiya kong tinanggap ang rosas mula sa kaniya habang iginigiya niya ako patungo sa raised platform, malapit sa lalaking nagp-play ng violin ngayon.


My life is brilliant


My love is pure


I saw an angel


Of that I'm sure


She smiled at me on the subway


She was with another man


But I won't lose no sleep on that


'Cause I've got a plan


I placed my hand gently on Blake's shoulder as he snaked his other hand to my waist and pulled me closer while whispering the lyrics of the old song.


You're beautiful


You're beautiful


You're beautiful, it's true


I saw your face in a crowded place


And I don't know what to do


'Cause I'll never be with you


Ipinikit ko ang mga mata. I have never felt at peace with my life until now. I don't even care that the patrons are watching us. Some are even recording videos. But the both of us are just too engulfed with each other that the outside world didn't matter anymore.


Yes, she caught my eye


As we walked on by


She could see from my face that I was


Fuckin' high


And I don't think I'll see her again


But we shared a moment that will last 'til the end


My mind wandered far and my heart decided to burst out of my chest. I am melting at Blake's feet, at loss and helplessly in love with him. I know he can see it in my eyes. I've been in love with him since I first saw him in our mansion, five years ago.


Maybe I was dreaming. Maybe I wasn't. Or maybe I was in a weird space between being alive and floating in a fantasy. I saw him lowering his head and made no hesitation to raise on my toes to meet his lips and kiss him.


Hot. Melting. And beyond aggressive. It was the same demanding kiss I received for the first time, only much harder this time. The surroundings melted, and the next thing I knew, we are inside his pick-up, kissing each other until our breaths could no longer sustain us.


Parang may sumusunog sa baga ko sa halo-halong nararamdaman. My head is dizzy with the kiss and my mind only knows Blake at that time. He slipped his hand inside the heavy skirt of my gown to caress my thighs. I gasped in the newfound sensation. I could feel the shiver down my spine and then I melted into him again.


Kisses in the movies are way different than this. I never knew it held so much power that keeps drawing the two of us together. Blake really knows how to please a woman. It's like he's born to worship a woman's body and take her to ecstasy.


Parts of him are burning with cool flame, his edges rough, and his heart, even though it's caged with steel, is pure. His face is strong and his eyes are dangerous. And just like the naïve girl that I am, being drawn to his peril is my only talent.


"Blake..."


"Hmm..." he moaned, kissing the corners of my lips and then tracing my jawline.


Ipinikit ko ang mga mata at pinilit na mag-isip nang matino. My mother would be crazy looking for me by now! Kailangan ko nang umuwi.


"I need... I need to go home."


Blake doesn't seem to listen to me. Bahagya kong nilakasan ang boses ko, determinadong huwag magpa-apekto sa nakakaliyo niyang mga halik.


"I need to go home, Blake. My mother is waiting for me."


"Okay..." he pressed one last kiss to the hollow of my throat and then pulled away. "I'm gonna take you home before I do something stupid."


My cheeks burned with embarrassment. Kaagad kong inayos ang palda at naupo nang maayos. I took a deep breath. Hinihingal ako. I wanted to ask for some water but I'm too shy to say anything right now.


Pinaandar na ni Blake ang sasakyan at nagmaneho paalis sa resort. I glanced at the digital clock and winced when I saw that it's already 1 in the morning. The guests have probably gone home by now and my mother must be worried sick looking for me.


"We still haven't talked about 'us', Savannah..." he said while in the middle of driving, making me jump in my seat.


"U-Us?"


"Yes." He said darkly. "You're not answering my question."


I bit my lower lip.


"If you're still not ready..." he trailed off and then glanced at me. "We'll talk about it tomorrow, then."


"Okay..." mahina kong sagot.


Pagod ang katawan ko pero buhay na buhay pa rin ang utak ko. I just turned 18 and I'm experiencing this kind of things! I wanted to tell Mama and ask her what to do.


Part of me wanted to tell him that I wanted him so bad. But I couldn't ignore his playboy history, too. Paano kung isa lang pala ako sa mga babaeng gusto niyang paglaruan? I should take a step back before it happens, right? Blake is still a very good friend to me. Ayokong masira lang ang matagal naming pagkakaibigan because it didn't work out.


Iginiya ko ang tingin sa kalsada. Malapit na kami sa mansion. I'm not sure how I'm going to say goodbye to him. Should I kiss him again? Or just pretend that nothing happened and smile cutely just like what I always do?


The thoughts quickly vanished inside of my head when I noticed something different as we were nearing the mansion. The unmistakable alarming sounds and even though the sky is dark, I could still make out the thick haze from the distance.


My heart thundered inside of my chest. Maging si Blake ay napansin din iyon.


"B-Blake... pakibilisan..." ani ko sa garalgal na boses.


I can't be right...


He stepped on the accelerator and sped down the road as we drove into the greatest nightmare of my life. The firetrucks are everywhere, a thick crowd is forming, and everyone is panicking.


The mansion is on fire.

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