Chapter 11

Chapter 11




I stared at the jewel-like eyes and for a moment, got lost in the power that it holds to draw me closer. He's scrutinizing me, examining if I am a potential prey or a predator. I could hear his slow, trained breathing.


Hindi ako makagalaw. I was glued to the ground as he slowly lifted his head and majestically stood there, as if claiming his territory.


When my grandfather, Ferdinand Villafuerte said that he has a cat, I wasn't expecting a two-meter black puma to be lounging casually at the grand parlor of their mansion.


At first, I wanted to scream in horror, but my voice has betrayed me and I am now frozen to the ground. Pakiramdam ko sa matalim na tingin ng puma sa akin ay gusto na niya akong dambahin anumang oras.


Black, sleek, and glorious, he stood dignified with his head slightly tilted. Parang may mas karapatan pa siyang tumungtong sa mansion na ito kesa sa akin.


"Well, do you like him?"


I almost jumped at the sound of a deep baritone voice. Nilingon ko si Lolo at nakitang nakangiti na siya sa akin. A kind, amused smile is playing on his lips.


"It's a p-puma..." I stammered. I was so excited to pet the cat earlier, but when the cat is bigger and heavier than me, anyone would hesitate to be near the majestic animal.


"Yes, and he has a name. Barin. Which means warrior."


Parang gusto ko nalang mahimatay nang muling gumalaw ang puma. He is very keen of his surroundings, and protective, if I have to add. The way he looks at me tells me that he's not happy to be around strangers.


"Bakit po..."


"Barin is a new friend of mine." Lolo nonchalantly went to pet the cat. Barin purred and lay his huge head on my grandfather's lap. "He was dying when I first saw him during my trip in America. He was chased by hunters and was rescued, but it was clear that he's not going to survive the bullet wound on his legs and his stomach. Nagdadalawang isip sila kung hahayaan nalang nilang mamatay si Barin sa shelter."


Tinitigan ko muli ang puma. I've never met a cat this big, this wild, and this fierce. And my grandfather is holding him like he means the world to him. I could feel the connection between the two of them. Barin hols so much power in his eyes while Lolo's eyes are gentle and understanding.


"So, I volunteered to take him. I was told that I could never raise a wild cat in a domestic environment, and that assumes if Barin can survive the gunshot. I told them that he's a fighter, and he's going to be with me till the day that I die. The papers that allowed his transfer from US to Philippines are expensive that Amelia scolded me for it. But when she saw Barin, just like me, she fell in love with him."


"You have a strange taste for pets..." I murmured.


He chuckled softly. "Don't I?" his wrinkled hands continued to stroke Barin's head. He seems relaxed now, as he slowly closed his eyes for a nap on my Lolo's lap. "Barin is like a family to me now. Who knows? He can be your friend, if you want. You'll be staying here in the mansion from now on."


And just like that, the pain of losing all my friends and my life in La Union hits me. My grandparent's mansion is located in a small, sleepy town of Negros Occidental. Sobrang layo mula sa kinagisnan kong bayan sa La Union. May mga malapit naman kaming kapitbahay noong nakatira pa kami sa La Union, pero dito ay talagang wala. Maybe the fact that a black puma is living in the mansion is one of the reasons why people keep their distance from the Villafuerte family.


Tinawagan ko si Jess kagabi nang makarating na kami sa mansion mula sa mahaba-habang biyahe. Just as what I expected, she got mad at me for not telling her. Ilang beses niya akong binabaan ng tawag, until we were both crying because of the sudden separation.


"Mag-iipon ako, Anna, tapos bibisitahin kita. Tapos kapag naka-graduate na ako, diyan ako magtatrabaho sa Negros para magkasama pa rin tayo."


I know she might've just said it because she got carried away by her emotions, but I was deeply touched and eternally grateful. I never knew I could earn a friend like her in this lifetime.


My grandparents did everything they could to make me feel welcome in our new home. Mama is silent, and would smile at me now and then. Ilang beses niya rin akong tinanong kung okay lang ba ako. I assured and told her that I'm going to be just fine. I needed some time adjusting, and meeting the black puma today is a bit of a shocker.


"Barin responds well to gestures. Every day, I train him to behave like a cat. His wild and natural manners sometimes emerge out of the blue. He's learned how to do his business outside. Kapag pinapalaya namin siya sa palayan, sinisiguro kong wala ng iba pang tao sa lugar na maaaring matakot sa kaniya."


I really liked cats, even when I was still a kid. But the pain of losing someone so dear to you has ripped me apart when our 3-year old maine coon died. Simula noon ay pinagbawalan na ako ni Papa na mag-alaga pa upang hindi ako masaktan ulit.


What I thought was an act of love, a protection, has become my cage as I grew older. Papa raised a girl who is afraid to be left alone.


"One day, I'm going to set Barin back into the wild. Until he's ready to be in his own, I'll take care of him."


"Mawawala po si Barin sa atin?"


"People come and go, hija. Sometimes, no matter how hard you fight for them, they'll eventually leave you. So, you have to make the most of the time you're going to spend with people that you love. Mama, Lolo, and Lola are not going to be here for you until the end. So is Barin."


My heart ached at the thought of my Mama leaving me. Siya nalang ang mayroon ako. After my father has betrayed me, I can't imagine how my life would be without her. Ayokong isipin ang ganung mga bagay dahil masasaktan lang din naman ako.


She's always putting on a gentle smile and a strong spirit. But when we arrived at the mansion last night, I saw her step inside her parent's bedroom and heard her cry for the first time. Ang akala niya siguro ay tulog na ako. I spent most of my night listening to her crying and spilling her heartaches to her parents.


I wasn't a strong soul, like my mother. I cry easily and my heart breaks at the littlest of things. My heart is fragile and it easily spills to someone who shows me kindness, even if that someone isn't very interested with me.


"Anna, I want you to be young and bold and proud. I know sometimes you're unsure of yourself, and I have to remind you how beautiful you are. Your heart is pure, sweetheart. But that doesn't mean you will let the world abuse it." Mama would always say to me.


Ever since we moved into her parent's place, I could see that her decision was right. She's been happier, livelier, and more enthusiastic about life. To prove my maturity to her, I even urged her to see some interesting men in the town because she deserves it.


"I don't have time for other men, Anna. I have you, and it's you I will pour my time and focus my heart."


Ilang taon pa ang kailangang dumaan bago kami nakatakdang bumalik sa La Union. Sa hacienda. I don't know what I'll be expecting then. I'm sure my mother would do a great job in raising me to be a woman with vision, and I hope that when I reached the age of 23, I'll be ready to manage the hacienda, then.


Nasanay ako sa buhay probinsiya. My mother enrolled me in a nearby school to continue my studies. Gusto niyang dito na rin ako mag-kolehiyo. My grandmother, Amelia, insists that I should study abroad. Sa kadahilanang ayaw kong iwan si Mama, si Lolo, at pati na rin si Barin, hindi ako sumang-ayon sa plano niya.


"The opportunities will be great if you study abroad, hija. And you'll meet a lot of people. Creative people. Boring people. People with anger issues. People who grew up with love, and some people who grow up in violence. The only way to learn the world is to travel and meet different cultures."


"But she's too young to handle herself, Amelia." Lolo butted in. "Atsaka, walang kasama si Anastasia dito."


"Just let her decide, then. Ilang taon pa naman."


I wanted to prove to them that I am no longer young, and I can stand up for myself but I know I would be a big joke. I rely on my Mama a lot. Sa kaniya nalang ako kumukuha ng lakas sa dami ng pinagdaanan naming dalawa.


On the summer that year, we visited a relative in Cebu. It was my first time meeting some of my relatives from my mother's side, and I was glad that they're just as pleasant as my grandparents.


"Juice, gusto mo?" malumanay na tanong sa akin ng babaeng nagpakilalang Priscilla kanina. She's the daughter of my mother's older brother, Lorenzo. She's a Villafuerte, and she really look like on. Soft brown hair, pale skin, and doe-like eyes. Mas kamukha pa nga ata niya ang Mama ko kesa sa akin na anak niya. Her own mother died while giving birth to her younger brother and now it's just the three of them.


Nahihiya akong tumango. My mother is talking to some of her cousins who were living abroad. Umuwi sila sa Pilipinas para sa reunion na ito.


"Salamat..." mahinhin kong tugon nang ibinigay na niya sa akin ang basong may lamang iced tea. She's a few years older than me, and looks very mature. She's also in college and I'm sure she's being chased by boys because of her beauty.


"You're so quiet, Anna..." she said gently. Even the way she spoke is attractive. If not for the full curve of lips and the pale skin, no one would really know that we're related in blood.


Tipid na ngiti ang isinagot ko sa kaniya. "Nahihiya pa kasi ako."


"Oh." She looks confused for a moment, then smiled again. "Akala ko sanay ka na sa mga party at pagtitipon. Mahilig sa mga party si Tito Simone—" she immediately stopped mid-sentence and glanced at me again, this time, with a rueful smile on her pink lips. "I'm sorry, Anna."


I waved my hands and took a sip of my iced tea. "It's okay..." I stared at the damp rings from my glass. "My mother and father separated. Papa did a mistake. But that doesn't mean his name is not to be spoken around me."


"Kumusta naman kayo ng Papa mo?"


I shrugged. "He calls... sometimes." Sumasakit ang dibdib ko sa tuwing naaalala ko ang mga tawag ni Papa sa akin. He's always asking for forgiveness, and says he wants to see me again. Gusto niyang kausapin si Mama na makita man lang ako, at least once every few years. But my mother has cut off any connection with my Dad and won't accept his calls. Hindi niya rin alam kung nasaan kami ngayon. When he tried to call my grandparent's house, he received some stern words from my grandfather who seldom gets mad unless his family is involved.


I was tired when we arrived from our two-day trip from Cebu. Pati si Mama ay dumiretso na sa kaniyang kwarto. Lolo and Lola are having some tea at the porch, talking in quiet voices, and constantly holding each other's hand affectionately.


Nakita ko si Barin na prenteng nakahiga sa carpeted floor. He really behaves like a kitten. When he yawns, he makes sure that I see his scary set of sharp, white teeth. Sometimes, he'd stare at me as if judging my mistakes and then his eyes would turn soft whenever he hears my grandfather calling for him.


I've grown fond of his presence and didn't bother to ask for a normal cat in the mansion. Once, he'd tore my favorite ballet shoes and I got mad at him. I shouted at him angrily, forgetting that he's a mighty puma and I'm just a weak, tiny girl. He started trailing after me and rubbing his huge head on my legs. In other times, I would've been thrilled but I was upset and I ignored him.


Once I realized that he's really such a sweet cat, we slowly became friends. Sinasama ako ni Lolo tuwing umaga upang ipasyal siya sa palayan. He has his own personal trainer and sometimes, I am asked to feed him raw meat.


"Barin..."


He lifted his head lazily and stared at me, his eyes the color of the ocean are calm and gentle. I took it as an invitation to walk slowly towards him.


Hinubad ko ang suot na sapatos at isinandal ang likod sa mababang parte ng sofa. Barin scooted closer and sniffed me, before he comfortably lay his head on my lap. At first it was uncomfortable because he's big and it's heavy, but I've grown used to it as well. I started stroking his black, elegant fur.


"I really missed La Union, Barin..." I whispered to his ears.


Barin closed his eyes. My fingers found its way to his black leather collar with silver spikes. Pinaglaruan ko iyon habang nakatingin sa kawalan.


"I wonder if Blake misses me the way I miss him right now." I said to the wind. "And Baste... I hope he's not mad at me anymore."


Humigit ako ng isang malalim na hininga. My grandfather is right. I don't get to keep the people that I love just because I love them. I need to fight for them. And in a fight, when destiny is your opponent, it's almost impossible to win the battle.


I wanted to make the most of this separation. I've relied greatly on Blake and now that he's not here to comfort me, I needed to console myself. I made a new friend, though. Barin. Even though he can't talk, he listens very carefully and responds with his affectionate rubs. In an insolated place like this, Barin's presence is more than enough.


"Anna!"


Nilingon ko ang tawag sa akin ng isang kaklase. I smiled timidly at her and waited.


"Yung sa group project natin, sa sabado natin yun gagawin." She said, catching her breath, while the rest of my groupmates are staring at us expectantly. "Naisip kasi namin na gasto kung sa coffee shop tayo sa bayan gagawa."


I nodded, not sure what she's trying to say.


"Gusto sana nila, kung okay lang sa iyo, na sa mansion niyo nalang gawin ang project. Lolo mo si Ferdinand Villafuerte, diba?"


I stared at her, hesitating. Barin is in the mansion, and when he's inside, he's roaming the area carelessly. Kapag nasa labas naman siya, sinisiguro ni Lolo na kasama ko siya o di kaya ng isa sa mga tauhan niyang lalaki upang masigurong ligtas ito at hindi makakapanakot ng mga tao.


"Uhm..."


"Sige na, Anna! Gusto din naming pumunta sa inyo."


"Sasabihan ko muna si Lolo." Nginitian ko siya. "Nakikitira lang kasi ako sa kanila, eh."


She nodded happily and went back to our groupmates. Ever since I've enrolled in this school, I never made real friends. Mas tumitindi ang pangungulila ko kay Jess sa tuwing nakikita kong walang interes makipag-usap sa akin ang mga kaklase ko. Except that time when they learned that I am the granddaughter of Ferdinand Villafuerte. They suddenly talked to me and kept on nagging if it's true that we keep a black puma in the mansion.


It's been two years and nothing has changed in me. I'm still the shy, timid girl who don't know how to protect herself. I still couldn't say no to other people. I still drain my energy trying to please others and I still feel uncomfortable in my own skin. I thought that the separation from my betraying father would do me good, but it didn't. Each time I think of him, my heart aches. My father choosing Valerie over his own family is an indication that even a woman as beautiful and intelligent as my mother isn't enough.


I was so lost in my own thoughts when I stepped outside. Two more weeks and I'll turn 18. I'm sure my grandmother would insist a debut party for me, and I'll be too ashamed to tell her that I don't have any friends at school that I could invite.


It was the laugh that caught me. Strong, male, and sexy. The familiarity of the baritone voice set a fire in my whole being, as I froze on the ground.


And there he is, standing tall and lean against an unfamiliar vehicle. His buttondown shirt is slightly damp from the drizzle, and the sleeves are rolled up to his elbows. A pair of expensive-looking sunglasses sits on the top of his messy hair and even when he's still a few feet away, I could smell his manly scent from here. May kausap siya sa cellphone, at ang mga mata'y nakatutok sa maliit naming eskwelahan.


My heart flattered, and even though I spent the last two years trying to hide my emotions, it quickly swarmed in my eyes as I stared at him with a dizzy head. Pinisil ko ang dulo ng mga daliri upang kumbinsihin na totoo siya, at totoo itong nakikita ko. I don't want to get to the point when I miss him so much and I'd start hallucinating his existence.


Then I remembered what my mother said. That it's best to cut ties with Blake and his family. His father and my father are good friends. Kapag nalaman ni Blake kung nasaan ako, maaaring sabihin niya ito sa kaniyang ama. And then my father would succeed in tracking us down.


Mabilis akong tumalikod at naglakad palayo. I was only two steps away when I heard him spoke again.


"I already saw you, Anna..."


I turned and saw him shoving his phone at his pockets. I could hardly stand his intense stare at me when he roamed his gaze from my head to two. Mas lalo lang akong kinabahan sa ginawa niya. Especially when a muscle in his jaw clenched.


Blake took three gigantic steps and immediately pulled me into a hug, his hand trailing the line of my spine as he buried his head at the crook of my neck. Hindi ako makahinga sa sobrang kaba at sa pagkabigla sa ginawa niya. I could see some of the students are staring at us, but the fright was gone and I was only comforted by his hug.


"Christ, I missed you so much..." he whispered to my ears when we pulled and then stared straight into my eyes. A crooked smile appeared on his lips, as he brushed a thumb on my cheeks. "Trying to run away from me again, huh?"

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