Chapter 10

Chapter 10




I walked through the land of the dead wearing a sheer white dress that dances around my ankles with each step I took. The wind was blowing softly against my cheeks, the cries of the crows only a muted background noise as I continued to drift past tombs and catacombs.


Nang makita ko na ang pakay ay huminto ako sa paglalakad. I glanced at the basket of flowers I bought and crouched down in front. The wind blew again, this time a little colder that it made me shudder a bit. Authoritative yet concerned emerald eyes glanced at me, questioning. I smiled weakly at him and stroked his head.


"I'm alright, Barin..." I said softly.


Far from alright. My mind is in chaos right now. I took a harsh deep breath and shut my eyes for a moment, hoping that the voices would go away. When it didn't, I just ignored it and lit the candles.


My gaze at the cursive letters spelling out his name was long and hard, as if any moment it would start burning and savage the entire cemetery in fire. Bumibigat din ang paghinga ko.


"I don't understand..." I glanced down as hot tears started blurring my vision. "I've done what I came here for. Bakit...?"


The rustling of the leaves followed by heavy footsteps startled me. I quickly wiped the unshed tears away until a shadow fell over me. The scent was too familiar that I didn't have to turn my gaze to confirm it was him. He followed me all the way here.


"I thought I'd find you here." Blake said.


I gestured to the empty patch of grass next to me, inviting him to sit. Sinunod niya naman ang pinapagawa ko at inokupa ang parteng iyon. I glanced at his set side profile. Nakatitig din siya sa kabaong. His eyes are darkening and his jaw is clenched.


"It's been so long..." I murmured, gathering my knees and hugging it close to my chest. Ipinatong ko ang baba sa tuhod at tumitig sa kawalan.


The words sat at the tip of my tongue. I wanted to tell him that even if Valerie's in jail right now, I still couldn't sit still. Something inside me keeps on telling that it isn't over yet. For so long, I waited for this day to come. And now that it's here, I don't know exactly what to feel.


I was so full of hatred towards that woman. I could never forgive her for everything she did to me and my family. But I don't have the stomach to kill her either. Maybe it was her last words that rang inside of my head when I visited her last night.


"You could've killed me instead of letting me rot in this jail!"


The sound of her sharp voice ringing nonstop in my head made me shudder. I hugged myself as the wind blew harder. Concern went in and out of Blake's eyes as he stared at me, unsure of what to do.


"Dad visits here sometimes," he said instead, dropping his gaze from my frail body and staring at the tomb in front of us. "Kahit papaano, naging mabuting kaibigan naman sa kaniya si Tito Simone."


I nodded and remained silent.


"Minsan bumibisita din ang pinsan mo dito. She's talked to my father a couple of times."


Hindi na ako nagulat sa sinabi ni Blake. Dad helped my cousin when her father died. He was a good friend and a good man to other people, but he was a terrible father to me.


"I know your father made some mistakes, Anna."


"Mistakes that made me suffer." I said through gritted teeth. My heart pounded violently in anger. Until now, I couldn't calm the turmoil inside of me. "He cheated on a wretched woman who killed my mother and grandparents. She pushed her luck on trying to kill me as well so she could get all the money. And she became my father's demise. His downfall. She took us one by one, Blake."


"I know."


"So don't get me started of talking about forgiveness and moving on because that woman never deserve my mercy! She's rotting in jail and that's what she deserves!" nanginig ang boses ko kasabay ng pag-ungol ng langit sa paparating na ulan. The atmosphere just got heavier as I glared at the tomb.


"Anna..."


"And look at this!" I gestured around the tomb. "Ni hindi man lang siya binisita ng magaling niyang asawa! Is she so busy spending the money she stole from us that she did not bother to even send someone to pull out the weeds from my father's tomb? I couldn't think of more a wicked woman than her!"


Blake sighed. Malaki na ang distansiya namin ngayong dalawa. I was panting in so much anger. That woman deserves to be vilified! So why the voices inside of my head won't shut up?


"I'll take you home, Anna." Blake murmured. I did not bother to protest when he held my waist and hauled me up. "Let's go. This place is..." he glanced around and sighed. "—depressing."


I remained silent as we reached his car and got inside. Even the drive back home was so silent and a bit awkward. O ako lang ang nakakaramdam. Blake doesn't seem to mind it. But I could see him stealing glances at me now and then as if he's trying to make sure I don't suddenly jump out of the car with a broken heart.


Nang makarating kami ulit sa mansion ay pinakain ko muna si Barin bago ako umakyat sa taas. The trucks and some of the men were still here. I contracted someone to get rid of Valerie's belongings from the mansion. Naabutan ko si Tina na mag-isang nakaupo sa couch, may binabasang makapal na libro. When she heard my footsteps, she glanced up and smiled at me.


"Kumusta ang lakad mo?"


I forced myself a weak smile. She insisted that I should go alone to visit my father's grave and that she didn't want to intrude. Lumipad ang tingin niya kay Blake na kasama ko na ngayon pero wala naman siyang sinabi.


"It's fine."


Valentina's eyes zeroed in on me, as if she's trying to dig the emotions I expertly concealed the moment I walked back into this mansion. My face stayed blank but my eyes could've betrayed me. Itinabi niya ang binabasang libro at bumuntong-hininga.


"Want to talk about it?"


I shifted my weight uncomfortably from one feet to another, not sure if I should call my therapist or surrender my problems to a surgeon. But then again, she's my cousin after all. She's family.


Naupo ako sa tabi niya at pinilit na pakalmahin ang nanginginig kong mga kamay. Blake had disappeared outside with Barin and some of the housekeepers, still shocked by the sudden change of ownership are standing by the door, waiting for any commands.


I dismissed them all and led my cousin to the grand staircase, entering my room and going straight to the balcony. It has been empty except for the queen-sized bed and the cherrywood side table. Kathleen left this mansion a long time ago and only Valerie and her son resided here for all the years I was gone.


Pushing the sliding door aside, I sighed in relief when the cold breeze hit my face. It was more comforting now, compared to the harshness earlier at the cemetery. And the drizzle made the world look a bit fuzzy to me, as if to completely blur out everything.


"I know there's something going on between you and Blake..." Valentina said, biting her lower lip. "And I know I'm not one to talk but I think you guys need a closure."


I placed my hands on the metal railings and gripped it hard that my knuckles turned white. My voice was shaky when I spoke, but I didn't mind it. With her, I could be vulnerable.


"I'm so messed up, Tina. I don't think getting back with him is a good idea."


"Why not?"


"Blake..." I bit my lower lip and let go of the railings. The power I put through sat at the tip of my fingertips, begging to claw upon something. "Blake is a man who needs strength from a woman in return, not distress. I know he's seen me as this strong, unbreakable girl who got revenge for her parents but really, that isn't the case at all. I'm on the verge of breaking down and I don't even know why! Something's bugging me... Valerie's already in jail and I could finally go back to Negros and show my face to my grandparents and mother that I couldn't save. I could finally say that I made it. I've avenged them."


Tumitig sa akin si Valentina. Her stare is long and steady and calculated, before she spoke softly.


"Alam mo, siguro may sumpa sa mga babaeng De la Rua..." she chuckled bitterly. I looked at her, confused. Valentina scraped a frustrated hand through her hair and blow in a heavy sigh. "Nasa sitwasyon din ako ngayon na hindi ko alam kung kaya ko pang magpatawad, Savia."


I swallowed. "What are you talking about...?"


"See that man with Blake? That's my ex. He's a surgeon, and probably the most talented one in the current industry. At first glance, you'll probably think he's had it all. I loved and still love him so much, you know? But he has to have such a wicked father. A murderer. He killed my father."


Umawang ang labi ko sa gulat. I heard of her father's death and was informed that it was due to health complications. What she's saying now doesn't make sense to me, but I tried to understand and listened patiently.


"He's the doctor who operated on my father. He opened up my father on the operating table while he was... he was intoxicated! Can you believe it? He killed my father, Savia! I've been living an empty life for so many years without him and the thought of revenge eats me every night. Hindi ko alam... hindi ko alam kung paanong nagawa mong ipakulong lang si Valerie pagkatapos ng lahat ng ginawa niya sa pamilya mo! Why did you contact me? Why couldn't just let her die of a heart attack? She deserves a painful death!"


Tears were streaming down her lovely, angry face as she ranted. Tina has always been composed and so sure of herself that seeing her like this shocked me to the core.


"I would never forgive Enzo's father! I will bring my hatred for him with me to my grave! And I will never... ever get back with Enzo when his face just reminds me of the person who killed my only family!"


I could hear the pain in her broken sobs, so I pulled her and hugged her tightly. Valentina cried on my shoulders. Her voice is muffled but I could feel the pain she's going through right now. The pain of losing your only family is immeasurable and completely devastating no matter how you put it.


Blinking back my own tears, I tried to calm her down. She may be a few years older than me, but a good cry is what she need. Valentina has been so strong for so long and I think she really needed this.


"I admire you for having the courage of not killing her when you'd have the chance. I could never do something like that."


Hinigpitan ko pa ang yakap sa kaniya saka tumulo ang mga luha ko.


"You know what? If there's something I learned, it's that justice were never ours to serve. Cruel, but that's just how it is."


The following days were long and hard after that. Some of the investigators came to the mansion for a meeting after I'd reported the arson case and handed down some evidence. My lawyer is also doing his job filing case after case towards Valerie, making sure she never has the chance to be free from the metal bars again.


I shifted comfortably in my bed. Even though I had some of my worst nightmares and bad memories here, I know in my heart that I will always yearn for this house. Not for permanent living maybe, but a place I could always visit from time to time.


Stretching out, I lazily reached for my silk robe and wrapped it around my body before stepping out of the bed. Inaayos ko pa ang buhok ko nang makalabas at naabutan ang matangkad na bultong nasa harapan ng kwarto kung saan natutulog si Valentina. I stared at the elusive Dr. Ciervo, hesitating to knock and talking to himself. Amused, I stared at him a little longer as the tip of his ears reddened. When I first saw him, I know he's a man built with arrogance and confidence. Based on his actions, gestures, and even choice of words, I knew he was raised well. I just can't imagine that his father would do something so horrible to my Uncle.


"Good morning, Dr. Ciervo."


He turned to me, completely startled. Nanlaki pa ang mga mata nang makita ako kaya nginisihan ko siya.


"Are you going to wake Valentina?"


"I... uh..." he glanced at the door nervously, then stuck his hands in the pockets of his jeans. I squinted my eyes and looked at him thoughtfully. The longer I stare, the more he becomes more attractive in my eyes. No wonder my cousin fell for him. He's arrogantly hot, the kind of guy you'd never suspect to be a surgeon.


"Go ahead and wake her up. Sa baba lang ako para maghanda ng agahan." I smiled at him softly, deciding to end my little torture with the poor guy. He nodded and I went down.


I was kind of expecting to see Blake around but only Barin greeted me downstairs. I run my fingers through his black jet fur and patted his head before heading to the kitchen. Palinga-linga pa rin ako sa paligid, halatang may hinahanap.


"Si Sir po ba ang hinahanap niyo, Senyorita Anna?"


"Lolita!" I gasped in surprise. She was one of the old housekeepers that remained even though Valerie ruled the mansion for a couple of years.


Lolita smiled at me kindly. "Umuwi na po si Sir, Ma'am. Narinig ko pong tinawagan siya ng Daddy niya."


"Kanina pa ba siya umalis?"


"Opo. Kaninang madaling araw."


I nodded, a bit sad that I didn't even had the chance to thank him. Alam kong malabo na makipagkita pa ulit sa akin si Blake, pagkatapos ng lahat ng nangyari. My thoughts weren't particularly calm, but he deserve some nice words from me after everything I've put him through.


I silently waited for the helpers to finish preparing the breakfast before I called Valentina and Dr. Ciervo downstairs. I supposed the poor guy didn't really manage to talk to my cousin after all, judging from the way he's been stealing glances at her every now and then.


"Will you be okay all alone here?" Valentina asked, snapping me out of my thoughts. I realized that my coffee grew cold and I haven't touched any of my garlic bread in the plate. "We're going to leave tomorrow."


I forced a small smile to ease the worries on her face but it didn't help. Valentina knows how bothered I am that it came to a point I was forced to take at least ten milligrams of Ambien just to sleep. She knows, she was the one who prescribed it for me.


"I'll be okay."


"Are you sure—"


"Sigurado akong ayos lang si Savia, Tina. Nandito naman si Blake, diba?"


Nagkatinginan kaming dalawa ni Tina sa sinabi ni Dr. Ciervo. He looks at us, a bit confused and then turned to my cousin, his eyes searching for answers.


"Aren't they dating—"


"Savia! I just remembered. Didn't Uncle Simone bought a villa near the San Juan beach a couple of years ago? Why don't we visit it?" Valentina cut him off, grinning widely at me. I could tell she's pinching Dr. Ciervo from under the table the way he grimaced and winced.


"Sure." I answered in a clipped tone. I didn't really care about the villa, and I heard it became Valerie's personal vacation house since my father died and she took over. I expected nothing more from a cheap imitation of a luxurious hotel she's trying to build with all the money she stole from my family.


We were silent the entire breakfast. Dr. Ciervo was deeply embarrassed and did not say another word after that. I excused myself upstairs to rest a bit in my room before packing things that I'm going to bring with me to the beach.


Bago ko pa naabot ang pakay ay hinila na ang atensiyon ko ng malaking pinto ng kwarto ni Valerie. I stared at it for a long time. It must have been years since I last stepped inside this room. Some of my quiet moments with my mother were spent here.


Sighing to myself, I pushed the door open and stepped inside. My heart sank. It was nothing like the elegant room that my mother decorated. The big, vintage painting was nowhere to be found and the cream wallpaper was replaced with bold red and black wall. I squinted at the huge bed filled with silk pillows and blankets in red and white. A tall rack displayed some of her designer bags and I'm guessing there is more to it when I open the little white door that leads to her walk-in closet.


I stared at the bags disapprovingly. She could've spent millions investing on these bags only to show it off to her so-called social circle. Before I go back to Russia, I'll make sure to sell these bags and donate the money to the charity. It would be a shame to let these sparkling things gather dust in here.


Hindi ko na inabalang tingnan ang mga bag isa-isa at nagtungo sa malaking tukador katabi ng rack. Most of her makeup and skincare products are neatly piled atop the surface. A small vintage mirror lay still on the desk, waiting for its owner that will never come back.


I pick up the mirror and stared at my reflection in the mirror, sighing when I saw how dull and empty my eyes are. Admiring its elegant design and excellent craftsmanship, the tip of my finger came across with a neat, little lock at the back of the mirror. I turned it back, clicking it and revealing a secret compartment.


Hesitation poured over me. I'm not sure if it is right for me to rummage over someone else's belongings but then again, it's my house. I frowned and pulled out the tiny film paper that's been folded and stored inside.


I unfolded the paper and lay before me a picture I never thought would have existed. I stared at it for a long time as emotions burst inside of me, exploding in my head and thundering in my chest as I stared at the small face of an innocent girl grinning with her kind-looking father carrying her. She's wearing a denim overalls with thick red sweater underneath. Her cute, tiny hands were full of mud and she's showing it to the camera with a grin of a champ while her father's cheeks were mopped with mud as well.


Hot tears blurred my vision. I bit my lower lip and dropped the mirror together with the picture, not being able to contain myself.


It was Valerie... and her father.


For so long I hated her so much that I dehumanized her. I forgot that she was once an innocent child and she was never born as a monster. She has a family, a loving father, and a happy childhood. I don't know what happened that drove her to be that kind of woman she is right now but I can't ignore this one single fact—she's still a human, after all.


I realized that it has been what's bothering me for so long. My internal quagmire was caused by the fact that I painted her as this horrible monster without considerations of her past because I was so blinded by rage. For years, whenever I heard her name or imagined her face I could only see a devil in designer's shoes.


I took a deep breath to calm myself. Dahan-dahan akong naupo sa dulo ng kama habang nakatitig sa kawalan. I seemed so lost right now to anyone who sees me but it's all coming down on me now.


No one was born a monster. 

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