Chapter 1

Chapter 1




The fading light from the scented candle I lit earlier illuminated my room. I stayed in bed, enjoying the scent of red velvet and vanilla lingering around, daydreaming once again of Paris cafés that my Mama loved so much. Last year, we spent our Christmas in Paris. Though it's more of a business trip than a holiday vacation, I enjoyed the dreamy places that Mama and I went to, wearing matching Berta dresses and candy heels.


This year, from what I heard during their conversation, we're going to stay in the country and throw a Christmas party for the hacienda workers.


Hacienda De la Rua is one of the leading haciendas here in La Union. It's all thanks to my father, a clever businessman who managed to put up through the struggles of starting a business.


My parents' love story is indeed a fairytale. Mama came from a wealthy family with Spanish ancestors while Papa is a hacienda worker. Paulit-ulit ko nang narinig ang kwento nila pero hindi pa rin ako nagsasawa.


Ang sabi ni Papa, ayaw sa kaniya ng pamilya ni Mama kasi hindi siya mayaman. He's just a mere hacienda worker. But the two of them are so in love with each other that they eloped! La Abuelita must've fainted at that time. She's my strict grandmother who encouraged Mama to enroll me in ballet classes when I was still young. Anyway, they eloped at such a young age, and Mama got pregnant with me. Galit na galit ang pamilya ni Mama kay Papa. They demanded he marry her right away.


Papa had always promised Mama that he's going to give him the life that she deserves. Albeit Mama is very much contented in a simple life, Papa has high dreams for his family. That is why, a decade ago, he built his own hacienda from the scratch and after two big threats of bankruptcy, he's now running one of the most profitable haciendas in La Union.


Papa spoils my mother so much. I am happy to be born with parents who loved each other dearly. I've heard tragic stories of parents staying together for the sake of their children, and many are jealous of me for having such a wonderful family.


Still, I couldn't help but wonder... what if I'm such a disappointment to the De la Rua family? I know, even if my father hasn't mentioned anything about it, that he wants a son. Someone who will inherit and run the hacienda when the time comes. I can't be the son he wanted. Pinilit ko din naman ang sarili kong magka-interes sa hacienda pero wala ding nangyari. I tried horse riding with Papa but I fell and broke my ankle. Because of that, I wasn't able to dance ballet for three months and it made Mama sad. I can't satisfy the both of them, and even if they keep on saying that I am enough, I know I wouldn't be.


"We'll have a simple Christmas party, Anna, with the workers. Simple lang at pribado. Just a put some decorations on our Christmas tree, invite that wonderful chef again to cook for us, and then let Nora create a program that the kids of our workers can enjoy." Ani Papa, isang gabi habang kumakain kami sa dining hall.


"I'm sure Savannah would love to help me on this Christmas party, right dear?" Mama reached for my arms and squeezed it lightly, giving me a small, genuine smile. "And how would you like to give your toys and clothes to the daughters of our hacienda workers? You're fifteen now."


Tumango ako bilang sagot. Mama is so big in giving toys and clothes and foods to our hacienda workers and donating in charities. She's an elegant woman with a generous heart. It's no wonder that she's captured the hearts of almost everyone in our small town and she made Papa feel, every day, of how lucky he is to have her in his life.


"Pati din po yung old books ko, Mama. Dumadami na po sila sa kwarto ko." panggatong ko pa. Giving out some of my clothes and stuff doesn't really bother me. I grew up with generous parents, and wouldn't mind helping other people and putting a smile on their faces.


"You're really going to grow a generous woman, Savannah. Mama is so proud of you."


She kissed me on the forehead and it made me smile. If I couldn't have a pretty face like her, I could have a pretty heart. I think that's what's going to matter the most.


Naging abala na kami sa sumunod na mga linggo para sa paghahanda sa Christmas party. It was a bit of a relief that we are celebrating with the hacienda workers, and Papa is only going to invite the most important investors and business associates in his circles. I highly doubt girls like Shanna and Denise would like the idea of mingling with peasant workers. They think lowly of the hacienda workers and would even bully their children. Pati ako nga ay inaaway nila, ang mga anak pa kaya ng trabahador ng hacienda?


I got myself busy with helping Mama prepare the macaroons and moist cake in the kitchen that afternoon of the party. She surprised me earlier with a cute tweed jacket and pencil skirt from Chanel, saying it would look good on me and would make me look mature for my age. Napapansin siguro ni Mama na atat akong tumanda at lumaking kasingganda kagaya niya kaya niya ito ginagawa.


Manang Joji had been our housemaid since I was born and took care of me as a child. She's like a family to us now and despite her age, she still helps around the mansion even though Papa promised to pay for the tuition of all of her sons as a payment for her loyalty and service to the De la Rua family. Siya ang tumutulong sa amin ngayon na magluto. Mama is always asking advice from her, even though she's well knowledgeable in cuisine. She still thinks that no one can cook better than our very own Manang Joji.


"Naku, nagdadalaga na pala itong si Anna..." Manang Joji smiled upon seeing me, dressed in that tweed Chanel coordinates that my mother bought for me. It was a perfect fit and I liked it so much. "Baka magka-boyfriend na ito, Anastasia, ha?"


Tumawa si Mama sa tinuran ni Manang Joji at sinulyapan ako. "Hindi na po ako magtataka, Manang, kung maraming manliligaw sa batang iyan."


"Kamukhang-kamukha mo noong bata ka pa..."


Napanguso ako. I'm not sure if Manang Joji is just saying it to make me feel better. But it sure boosted my confidence that night. Gusto kong makipagkaibigan sa mga anak ng trabahante namin. Napapansin ko kasing sa tuwing naglalaro sila malapit sa cabin para sa mga kabayo, at tinantangka kong lumapit sa kanila ay kaagad silang umaalis.


They've been called out by their parents for their behavior, but it didn't stop them from ignoring me. Hindi ko alam kung anong mali sa akin, dahil wala naman akong balak na masama, pero hinayaan ko nalang sila. Maybe they all think that I'm just as mean as Shanna and Denise. Siguro ay natatakot lang sila sa akin. I hope this Christmas party will give me a chance to be friends with them.


Tumulong pa ako kina Mama bago ako lumabas ng kusina at sinubukang makihalubilo sa mga tao na nasa hardin. Unlike our previous party, as a celebration for Papa's bond with a new investor, this one is cozier and a lot less lavish. People are in their best casual clothes, and no one is wearing expensive Rolex and designer shoes.


The lovely scent from the rose garden put me in such a good mood. Nakita ko si Baste, mag-isang kumakain sa lamesa habang ang mga magulang niya ay nakikipag-usap sa iba pang mga trabahante at naisipan ko siyang lapitan. He's the son of our stableman, and he's very good in taking care of horses and riding one.


"Hi." Tipid kong bati sa kaniya, sabay ngiti sabay asang babatiin niya rin ako pabalik.


Instead, he just nodded.


I cleared my throat awkwardly and smiled once again. Halos hindi siya makatingin sa akin. And I know I am making him feel uncomfortable because he stopped eating all of a sudden.


"Kain ka pa, marami pa kaming foods na ilalabas ni Mama mamaya..." mahinhin kong wika sa kaniya.


"U-Uhm... salamat. Ayos lang."


I pouted. Hindi naman siya ganito katahimik kapag kausap niya ang ibang anak ng mga trabahante. In fact, he's the loudest in the group. I don't understand why he's acting so shy right now.


"Nagustuhan mo ba ang Christmas party? Mamaya, may palaro at maraming prizes na ibibigay."


Again, he just nodded. I sighed inwardly. This is getting a lot harder than I thought it would be.


Napalingon kami sa kabilang table nang biglang maghagalpakan ng tawa ang mga naroon, at nakita kong iilan sa mga kaibigan niya ay nakaupo doon. Ang ilan ay matamang nakatingin sa amin na may pagtatakang nakaukit sa mga mukha.


"Diba mga friends mo sila? Invite mo sila dito..." I tried again, but to no avail because he just nodded again and then started eating slowly.


Bumuntog-hininga ako. Something is really wrong with me. I don't get why I can't hype people up. I really lack social skills, even though it is taught to us during our ballet classes. Dancing ballet is about expressing and gracefulness. We were taught how to act, how to speak, and even what words to say. But none of them worked on me.


Resigned, I excused myself politely and wandered around. Nakita kong lumipat kaagad si Baste sa table. They are now talking in murmured voices. May iilan pang napatingin sa direksyon ko. I stared at them sadly, knowing that even if I am the daughter of Anastasia and Simone De la Rua, I will never be welcome in their group.


"Anna! There you are... been looking everywhere for you, dear."


Nginitian ko si Papa nang lapitan niya ako. Sumunod sa kaniya ang isang lalaking ka-edad lang niya at may maamong ngiti sa mukha. I smiled back at him politely. I think adults are way friendlier than the people my age.


Pero agad ding naglaho ang ngiti sa mga labi ko at napalitan ng sobrang kaba nang makita ko ang lalaking nakasunod sa kaniya. The same young man at the party last year! The one who shared the bottle of wine with me, took me to the rose garden, and disappeared right away. Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita siya.


"This is Cristophe Sobreval, hija. A good friend of your mother and I."


Of course, I know who the Sobreval family is. They're one of the richest and most powerful families in La Union and they're all politically-inclined, except for Cristophe Sobreval who chose to live his life discreetly and just like Papa, owns a hacienda too.


"Hello, Sir Sobreval..." magalang kong bati sa kaniya. Ramdam na ramdam ko ang presensiya ng lalaking nasa tabi niya lang at matalim na nakatitig sa akin ngayon.


"And this is his youngest son, Blake Sobreval..."


So Blake... his name is Blake.


"Hello, Blake." I said, barely audible.


I could see his smirk in the dancing shadows of fairy lights we put up for Christmas. Isang tango lang ang naging sagot niya sa akin. He's standing tall and lean next to his powerful father, and everything I assumed about him is true. The guy is filthy rich, must be a spoiled brat, and the part where I was given the impression that he's a womanizer... we'll see about that.


Nag-usap na si Papa at Cristophe Sobreval, unti-unti kaming iniiwanan dalawa ni Blake. It made me so uncomfortable, just standing in front of him and doing nothing. And I am starting to think that I looked ridiculous. He's just wearing a casual gray polo shirt with sleeves rolled up to his elbows while I am sporting a designer brand for a Christmas party intended for our workers. Siguro ay iniisip niyang spoiled brat din ako.


"Uhm... kumain ka na ba?" alanganin kong tanong sa kaniya, sa kadahilanang wala na akong ibang masabi pa.


"Bakit mo tinatanong? Girlfriend ba kita?"


Uminit nang husto ang mga pisngi ko sa tinuran niya. Lumawak ang ngisi ni Blake nang makita ang pula sa mga pisngi ko. He's clearly enjoying torturing me with his words.


"Uh... sige. Dun nalang muna ako." I said in a small voice, and was about to go when he grabbed my arms.


I almost leapt in surprise. Mabilis kong binawi ang braso ko nang maramdaman ang init mula sa kamay niya. I stared at him, shocked and with my heart pounding wildly.


"Why are you going so fast, Savannah?" sa mapanuksong boses na tanong niya sa akin. "Hindi ka rin naman nila pinapansin." He said, jerking a chin towards the table where the children of our hacienda workers are seated.


Ngumuso ako. I don't want to assume that he's been around here earlier, watching me get rejected and make a fool of myself by trying to be friends with the children of our hacienda workers.


"Sa taas nalang ako."


"No." he said firmly. "Stay here." Humakbang siya ng isang beses sa akin, dahilan upang manlaki ulit ang mga mata ko sa gulat. Ngayon ay amoy na amoy ko na ang panglalaki niyang pabango. And I never realized how much I missed it now that I am smelling him right here, and right now.


Humakbang ako palayo sa kaniya at magalang na ngumiti. I am starting to think of all the ways I could do to shoo him away, but I am not as witty as my mother who would've exited this very awkward conversation by now. I'm sure girls like Shanna and Denise would love to have a conversation with him, but I don't like how he's making me uncomfortable. I really feel so small when I am with him, despite the crazy shenanigan he pulled on me the first time we met without exchanging names.


True to his words, I stayed with him. We ate and conversed about art, as we happened to pass by one of Papa's paintings displayed at the grand parlor. And I was impressed of how well versed he is when it comes to arts and even the current affairs.


He's really intelligent and mature, but at times he'd slide in a few dirty jokes that it takes too long for me to understand. My innocence and naivety amused him and I couldn't blame Blake for it. He's been surrounded with hot, elegant girls who can flirt back at him fiercely while my cheeks burned at the mere mention of anything sexual.


Iyon ang naging simula ng pagkakaibigan namin. Blake is the only person who can put up to my awkwardness and even the occasional silent moments when I don't have any idea what to say next. Sa tuwing nagpapa-party si Mama at Papa ay siya palagi ang inaabangan ko.


And I watched him date different girls as I grew up. Every time their family is invited to a party, he's never with the same date twice.


"This is Polly, my girlfriend..." aniya, isang gabi nang makita ko siyang may kausap na babae habang papalabas ako sa bahay ng mga Sainz. We were invited to a corporate party and I was expecting to run into him, but not with a different girl this time.


Isang magalang na ngiti ang ibinigay ko sa kaniyang nobya. She doesn't look pleased to see me, but I appreciated her effort of returning my smile, albeit fake.


"Hello, Polly..."


"Polly mentioned about having ballerina friends. Maybe she should introduce them to you. Right, babe?" inakbayan pa ni Blake ang nobya. I couldn't help but frowned, which I quickly wiped away.


"Uh, yeah. Sure." She shrugged, sounding uninterested. I saw how she tugged twice at Blake's suit jacket, sending him a knowing look and I know I am being dismissed right away.


"Sige, Blake... doon lang muna ako."


"I'll see you around, Anna..." he ruffled my hair like a kid and then strode away lazily with his girlfriend.


I couldn't help but feel bitter as I watched the two of them mingle with their elite friends. None of Blake's girlfriend likes me. And none of them are genuine to me. They're the expensive daughters of famous businessmen and models but they lack manners and respect. And I have a distinct impression that they are wary of me being around with Blake. Siguro ay pakiramdam nila na may balak akong agawin si Blake sa kanila kahit wala naman. I'm just sad that the only person who's taken interest of me is slowly drifting away. Every time he's with his rich friends, I feel so out of place.


I'm already sixteen but I still haven't figured how to act properly. I don't know if it's a blessing or a curse. I get to have a peace of mind by being alone, but I get lonely at times especially when I realized that if this continues, I'll eventually grow up having no friends at all.


"Anna... kumain ka na?"


Nagulat ako nang biglang may nagsalita sa likuran ko. I turned and saw Baste. Over the years, he's gotten taller and leaner. His skin is a shade darker than mine, probably with all the time he spent with his father taking care of the horses in our hacienda. Napapansin ko ding sa nagdaan na mga panahon, unti-unti nang nagiging mainit ang pakikitungo niya sa akin.


"Thank you, Baste. Kumain na ako..." ani ko at nginitian siya. He and his father went with us in the party because Papa wanted to introduce his father to a friend who wants to give horse riding a try. Baste is wearing probably his best polo shirt tonight, a white cotton shirt and a pair of faded black pants.


Tumango siya. "Gusto mong magpahinga muna sa kotse?"


Umiling ako. "Ayos lang ako, Baste."


He nodded again and then cleared his throat. "Oo nga nga pala... ang g-ganda mo ngayong gabi."


I stared at him, shocked at his sudden compliment, and then nodded with my cheeks burning in embarrassment. It was so out of the blue and even Baste looked embarrassed. Mabilis siyang nagpaalam sa akin at lumayo na.


Nanatili akong nakatayo, pagkatapos ay binalingan ko kung saan naglaho sina Blake at Polly kanina. He's with his friends now, and they're laughing at something that is being shown on an iPhone by one of his friends. Naka-akbay si Blake sa nobya at hinahalik-halikan pa ito sa noo sa tuwing nabibigyan ng pagkakataon.


Sad and bitter, I decided to follow Baste towards the waiting car. I gave Blake one last glance and was startled to see him already staring darkly at me while he's holding his girlfriend.


Binigyan ko siya ng palakaibigang ngiti at mabilis na ding umalis. 

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