spencer reid

"she's been gone for four and a half days now. every lead we've had has hit a dead end. garcia found nothing on properties purchased in cash. we can't find the new car anywhere. he hasn't been seen anywhere since he took her. he dumped his cell. there's absolutely nothing in his old house. i don't know where to look anymore."

"reid, you gotta calm down kid. go home. get some sleep. seriously. we need your brain sharp and ready and you can't do that unless you get some sleep."

"i'll sleep when she's back home sleeping next to me, morgan. until then, i'm spending every waking moment searching for her."

"he's not going to kill her. but not sleeping like this, will kill you. don't worry about her, worry about yourself right now. you're not in the right mind." rossi inputs, making the rage burst through my chest.

"you don't even like her, rossi. from the moment she met you she's felt like you've been trying to snuff her out. she's tried so hard to get you to like her, to even tolerate her, yet you seem to only want to brush her off like she's nothing. she's the only person on this team that you don't give a damn about, and that's fine. but you don't get to tell me not to worry about her. you don't get to tell me that i'm not in the right mind. just because you'd rather sit by the hotel pool and risk letting her die just so you could have some rest and relaxation, doesn't mean i will." i scoff, before hotch leans over, grabbing my arm.

"reid. go back to the hotel. sleep. we know that he's not going to hurt her. he's far too invested in her to do that."

"he may not beat her, but there's no telling what he's doing to her right now. but she could be sitting in some cold basement somewhere and he's got his dirty hands all over her. she's the love of my life, hotch. she's the only girl that i'm ever gonna get. anyone on this team could tell you that girls were never my strong suit. but somehow i managed to get someone like jupiter to fall in love with me, and i let her slip through my fingers."

"you can't keep blaming yourself for this, reid. it wasn't your fault. you had no idea." emily sighs.

"she told me, emily. she knew that her parents house was the first place he'd go. for gods sake, statistically it'd be the first place he'd go. yet i was dumb enough to leave her there alone. and now look at us. sitting in this station, with no leads, no clues, and no jupiter."

everyone stops, looking at me with parted lips and wide eyes. justin stands, walking over to me and grabbing my arms.

"spencer. you, me, and ugly over here know jupiter better than anyone in this room-"

"hey!" casey and adrian complain in sync, making justin roll his eyes.

"did you just call me ugly?" julien asks, turning his head to his twin brother.

"yeah. dude, you're so ugly."

"we have the same face."

"guys, not the time." adrian sighs.

"we know her better than anyone in this room. we are the leads. we are the clues. and all three of us know that first of all, she'd want us rested and ready. and second of all, we know what makes her happy. we know how she thinks. we know where he thinks she'd want to go."

i look between justin and julien, sighing and nodding my head.

"yeah. okay."

everyone smiles, and nods their heads, gathering their things. i throw my bag over my shoulder and begin walking out the door when rossi grabs my arm.

"she really thinks that i don't like her?"

"we all think that, rossi." morgan butts in before turning around and walking out the door.

he drops his hand from my upper arm and i walk away, out the doors and into the car with morgan.

"i think you hurt his feelings."

"yeah, well, i can apologize after we find jupiter."

"she's rubbing off on you, you know?"

"what do you mean?" i breathe out, leaning my head back.

"pre-jupiter spencer would've never spoken like that. no matter the circumstances."

"yeah, well pre-jupiter spencer also didn't know about the chihuahua complex."

"chihuahua complex?"

"short and angry."

"oh i'm telling her you said that."

"go ahead, she came up with the name."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

i stare my reflection in the mirror, my hair a mess, my eyes puffy and dark. i could hear jupiter in my head, scolding me for not taking better care of myself. reaching into my pocket, i pull out my wallet. opening the bifold and pulling out the worn photo. my favorite photo. casey had taken up  photography as a hobby and decided to practice her skills on jupiter. jupiter had a cheap party store crown on her head and she was seated on her office desk, a bright smile on her face and her arms outstretched. she had just gotten her dream job in the bureau and casey had come in with her to decorate her office. this photo was taken the day i met the woman i'd spend the rest of my life with.

"i'll bring you home, jup. i promise."

after sliding the photo back into my wallet, i walk out of the hotel room, meeting derek in the car.

"day five." i sigh, sliding into the large black car.

"i got you coffee. you look like a mess." he smirks, pulling out of the parking lot.

"thank you?"

"a well rested mess, but a mess nonetheless."

"okay dr. suess." i sigh, sipping on the sweet coffee.

"listen, i was doing some thinking last night-"

"well that's never good." i mumble.

"considering i'm your best man-"

"that was never confirmed."

"jj and i confirmed it, so as far as i'm concerned, it's confirmed. anyways, do you want your bachelor party the night before, or two nights before?"

"are we really talking about this while-"

"kid, shut up. your wedding is in a month. and we're going to bring jupiter home and you're going to get married and have a little derek aaron reid."

"derek aaron reid, huh?" i chuckle, looking up from the case notes and over at morgan.

"oh yeah. my name comes first. and that's a fact."

i nod my head and he parks the car in front of the precinct. we walk into the building, taking a seat around the table and dereks phone rings in his pocket. he places the phone on speaker and penelope's voice floods the room.

"guys, what if he didn't buy any properties?"

"well good morning to you too, babygirl."

"what do you mean, garcia?" i ask, scooting in closer.

"what if he's renting? it'd make sense. if he's renting properties, the title wouldn't be in his name and the contract would be between renter and rentee."

"rentee isn't a word but i think you might be onto something. looks for checks cashed out in his name or money transfers in his bank statements. and look into properties that have been up for rental within the past month."

"already on it, sherlock."

the phone clicks and i stand up, taking my phone out of my pocket and dialing casey's number.

"spencer? it's 7 in the morning, dude. did you find her? no? then don't call me."

"casey, wait. we think he may be renting properties. i need you and adrian to come by and look through the list that's being sent to us and tell us what looks familiar."

"o-okay. yeah, i'll go get him and we'll be there in 20."

"alright, and uhh...be safe."

"...yeah. of course."

"bye"

"bye"

the call ends and i turn back to the group, hotch is pacing back and forth as derek bounces his leg.

"well, you wanted a lead. you got it, reid." rossi sighs, walking out of the room and towards the break room.

"what was that about?" i ask, gesturing towards the temperamental man.

"well you did rip him a new one last night." jj snickers, taking a sip of her coffee.

"he genuinely couldn't care less about jupiter. he really couldn't. look at how hard he was working when he didn't know this case was connected to jupiter and look at him now. taking coffee breaks and telling me not to worry so much. and i just don't understand it. i really don't." i scoff, throwing my hands up in defeat.

"i think she's a liability to this team."

our heads shoot up to see rossi in the doorway, a fresh mug in his hands.

"sorry. did you say a liability?" emily asks, cocking her head.

"yes. a liability. she's too emotional. she lets emotion get in the way of logic. morgan said it himself. and because of that, she makes the odd case that she actually is on, difficult. she's always contradicting me or correcting me-"

"it's because she's trying to get the right profile so she can save people! that's her job and she's damn good at it. her emotions are what make her so good at this job. she cares about these people. you know, she was so excited when she heard you were rejoining the bau. and when you just kept brushing her off, it broke her heart. she couldn't possibly understand what she did to make you dislike her." i scoff.

"no, her emotions hinder her ability to catch an unsub. because if she was so good at her job, she would've caught onto her little fan."

i stand there for a moment, taken aback by the words that just left rossi's mouth. for the first time in a long while, someone had rendered me speechless.

"rossi. i think you need to take a breather." hotch suggests, and rossi walks off, leaving the rest of the team bewildered.

"let's just be glad that the carbon copy cops weren't around to hear that." jj laughs awkwardly, attempting to diffuse the situation.

"that we didn't hear what?" julien asks, walking into the room.

"oh nothing. nothing at all." emily smiles, clicking her pen.

"you called casey, right?" hotch asks, looking over at me.

"yeah. she's grabbing adrian and they're heading over here."

"alright. meanwhile, captain, lieutenant, we'll fill you in."

"well call me a coloring book."

"justin i don't know how you became captain"

"it's because i'm the pretty one, julien."

"again...we look exactly the same."