jupiter aria beauliu

the pounding in my head grew the more i came to my senses. panic fled through my veins as i fully awoke, recalling the events that took place before. the soreness in my neck becoming more and more evident the longer i stay sitting up. i looked down at my hands and saw a black square cut diamond where spencer's circle three stone tiffany ring once sat. and as if on cue, i could hear him coming up the stairs and i had racked my brain of ways to take this situation. i could recall him repeatedly telling me that i'd forget. that soon we could be happy. so i quickly chose a plan of action before he reached the top of the stairs. i quickly sat up, messing up my hair slightly and looking around the room, an over exaggerated look of confusion on my face. he opens the door, a gentle smile on his face.

"you're awake. it's almost been four days. three and half but whatever. how do you feel?" he says quietly, setting down two cups of tea onto the bedside counter.

four days already? jesus. just breathe, jupiter. everything will be okay.

"w-where am i? who are you?" i ask, scooting away from him slightly.

his face noticeably brightens, before he chuckles, grabbing my hand. this was when i knew, i had chosen the right path.

"baby. it's colin. your fiancee. you took a nasty fall down in the backyard and it really scared me." he says, rubbing his thumb over my hand, reaching forward to touch the bump on my head.

i flinch backwards and he sighs.

"that's okay, babydoll. you'll be okay." he says, gently patting my knee.

"is this our house? i don't remember it" i ask, playing into my loss of memory.

"sort of. it's our new house. don't you like it? it's everything you wanted, remember?" he asks, leaning into me.

i think back to our many conversations. and i remember reminiscing with casey one night at the music bar. colin had sat next to me, intently listening in as casey and i talked about our childhood adventures in her childhood home. i had extended on the conversation about how her house was my dream home. my favorite place to be in all of north carolina.

"yeah...i remember. i told you about it on...a date? maybe?"

"yeah! yes. a date." he lets out excitedly, his face brightening with each word i said.

he had truly believed that whatever he was injecting into me had erased my memory. it was clear which one of us had become distracted in school. i look to the two cups of tea that had been placed on the bedside table and i point to one. as i extend my arm, i notice new needle marks in my arm and my throat closes up slightly.

"ummm...can i?" i ask, motioning to the cup closest to me.

"oh! yeah. here, lemon honey. just like you like." he smiles, carefully handing me the mug.

i take a sip, closing my eyes and enjoying the warmth cascading down my throat. as terrible as this situation was, i had to hand it to him, he made a good cup of tea.

"we don't...have any kids or anything like that. do we?" i ask, chuckling nervously.

"no. not yet anyways." he shrugs, leaning forward to grab his mug.

my stomach churns and i nearly gag at the thought of carrying his child. or any child that didn't belong to spencer.

"you okay? you're looking a little green." he pouts, leaning forward and pushing the stray hairs out of my eyes.

"i'm kind of nauseous." i say, setting the mug back down onto the bedside table.

"doctor said you had a concussion, so i'd assume so." he says, brushing my hair back.

the more he kept talking, the further it confused me. he no longer fit the profile that i had originally assumed. he was calm, collected. he was patient and welcoming. the more time i spent around him, the more i was confused.

"so...this may sound umm...stupid i guess. but can you tell me about us?" i ask, fiddling with my fingers and biting my lips, looking up at him through my lashes.

he lets out a short breath, softly smiling and nodding his head.

"of course, baby. whatever you need." he says, placing his hands on my knee.

i lean over, grabbing the tea and nodding my head.

"so, we met in college. about five or six years ago. you were studying to become a music therapist, and i was studying to work in the music industry any way i could. you were the only person who believed in my dream. we first met in our jazz theory class, but we had a lot of classes together. you sat next to me and the first thing i noticed was your socks. you kind of had an affinity for holiday socks. halloween, thanksgiving, christmas, fourth of july. if there was a holiday, you had a sock for it. anyways, we got really close, became good friends, and then we sang a duet for our vocal performance class and that was it for us. we fell hard and we fell fast. then you wrote me a song. the lyrics, at least. i helped you with the melody all night long. then we graduated, you took a job at the children's hospital working with autistic children and i did event planning for the music venues in town. and last christmas, i proposed to you downtown in the middle of all the christmas lights. it was the happiest night of my life. then we moved out here in the beginning of the year and here we are." he explains, making me even more nauseous.

he had really imagined a whole life with me in his head. he had everything planned and he lied so smoothly. if my memory really was gone, i would've believed him so easily. he made everything so simple. and that disgusted me.

"well, we sounded pretty in love."

"that's because we are." he smiles, clenching his jaw slightly.

ah, there it is.

"i just...i can't remember it. i'm sorry." i say, looking down at the mug, feigning a look of sadness.

he sighs, scooting closer to me and placing his hand on my cheek.

"i know. and i'm sorry. i know it's going to take time. i'll make you fall in love with me all over again if i have to."

that was his plan. he had planned to make me forget everything so that he could have a blank slate. so that i couldn't possibly remember spencer and i would be forced to believe that colin was the man i planned to spend my life with. well, much to his dismay, i didn't forget. and even if i did, spencer would always be the man who owned my heart. even amnesia couldn't make my heart forget the only man it's ever loved.

"i'm...i'm kind of hungry."

"yeah. of course. what do you feel like eating?" he asks, far too eagerly.

"honestly? ...a quesadilla." i chuckle.

he lets out a small laugh and nods his head.

"you got it." he says, but before walking out of the room, i call to him.

"i'm just gonna walk around. is that okay?"

"this is your house, my love. you don't need my permission." he smiles, leaving the door slightly open.

if he's holding me hostage, then i was at least going to get some food out of this. as soon as i heard him far enough down the hall downstairs, i hop out of bed. tip toeing quietly down the upstairs hall, walking into the other rooms. i could hear the jazz music continuing downstairs and the clanging of pans. i walk through the rooms, looking for a phone or a computer. sliding my hands over the closet walls and edges of window seals, attempting to find one of the panic buttons i knew were hidden somewhere in this house.

"come on, jup. mr. leland told you where one of them was. come on. remember." i growl, closing my eyes and attempting to bring back the memory.

alas, nothing had come to mind. i sigh, continuing my search before i hear the plates hitting the counter. i walk out of the room and make my way down the stairs. i walk slowly, looking into the rooms pretending that i didn't know where i was going. colin peeks his head out from the kitchen and waves me over.

"i'm in here, sweetie."

sweetie? ew. disgusting.

"oh! okay." i smile, walking into the kitchen and taking a seat at the bar.

"for my lady." he says, sliding over the plate of cheesy goodness.

"thank you." i nod my head, before taking a bite.

i breathe in cool air as i chew the molten hot cheese, making him chuckle.

"i never understood why you did that."

"all i know is that food is best when it's hot."

"even ice cream?" he tests, raising his eyebrow.

i'll slap you with this quesadilla, bitch.

"you know what i mean." i glare playfully, before taking another bite.

"yeah i know." he smiles, ripping off a piece of the tortilla and popping it into his mouth.

we sit in a comfortable silence before an idea pops into my head. i slowly look up at colin, a faint smile falling on my lips.

"what?" he chuckles, making me shake my head.

"nothing...i just...i can't remember you. but i remember a feeling. it's a good one." i admit shyly, making him smile wide.

"i knew it."

"huh?"

"oh. i just. i knew you'd remember."

smooth save, dickwad.

"yeah. well, maybe i'll remember more if we recreate one of our dates?"

he pauses for a moment, before nodding his head.

"yeah. well, your favorite date was when we broke into the piano hall and watched movies all night long. we played your favorite, 10 things i hate about you." he smiles.

he must be referring to the senior lock in when the entire class broke into the music hall the night before graduation. and my favorite movie is beetlejuice, dumb bitch.

"yeah...that sounds nice. what about tomorrow night?"

"i actually have to work tomorrow night. but i'm free the night after, on saturday."

"saturday night sounds great, baby."

he smiles widely at the pet name and he reaches over, grabbing my hand.

"you're gonna be just fine, my love."

fuck you.