bad dream (RB)

Earth 24
Rue's View

I see a voicemail from Y/n and I play it.

"Hey Rue, I'm calling to check on you. I'm worried about you, I'm stopping by at 2. I love you, bye." Y/n says.

I look at the time and it reads 2:03.

I hear a knock on my room door and Y/n comes in. I get up and hug her tightly.

"What's wrong?" Y/n asks as we sit on my bed.

"People keep talking shit about me." I say.

I try to keep my face up
But old friends wanna say stuff

"And I'm angry because I'm really fucking tired." I say.

"You haven't been getting any sleep?" Y/n asks.

"I stay up because I don't want to wake up." I say.

Ironic how I stay up
'Cause I don't wanna wake up

"I-I can't take it anymore." I say.

I feel my brain start to melt
I see I'm losin' myself

"Why didn't you talk to me?" Y/n asks.

I complain 'bout mental health
But I don't seek any help

"I didn't want to bother you." I say.

"Baby, you're not bothering me. Don't ever think that, I'm always gonna be here for you." She says.

I smile and she hugs me.

Time Skip

I go into the office and see Mrs Smith talking to Y/n.

"What was the reason for checking her out?" Mrs Smith asks.

"Family emergency." Y/n says.

"Sigh there for me." Mrs Smith says.

Y/n sighs her name and puts the pen down.

"Have a good day." Mrs Smith says.

Y/n smiles and we leave.

"Why can't you focus?" Y/n asks.

And it's hard for me to focus (Focus)

"I just have too much on my mind." I say.

Y/n opens the door for me and I get in the passenger seat. She closes the door and gets in the driver seat.

"I can't go home so you can drop me off at Fezco's." I say.

"You can come to my house. You know my family loves you. Shit, probably more than me." Y/n says.

I laugh and she smiles.

15 minutes later...

"You left a notebook last time you were here." Y/n says opening her desk drawer.

"I'm not gonna lie to you, I read it." Y/n says handing it to me.
I sigh and sit on her bed.

"I don't know why I started writing in it." I say.

And I don't know why I wrote this

"No, I do. Everything I write is everything I'm afraid to say." I say.

To be honest, everything I write is
Every other thing that should be spoken (Oh-oh)

"Why don't you ever tell me about this?" Y/n asks.

They ain't aware that I feel like this (No)
They ain't aware that I'm tryna fight this (No)

"Sometimes I just want to keep shit to myself." I say.

I don't talk 'cause I'm going through a crisis

"I'm not fucking happy, I never have been. Waking up every days is a nightmare." I say.

I don't think I'm happy
Wakin' up's a bad dream

"I'm surrounded by all this negative shit and the darkness is closing in. The only speck of light is you." I say.

Crowded by the bad things
Crowded by the— (Ayy)

"I see people smiling and laughing and it makes me sick. It hurts to see that everyone around me has their shit together and I don't." I say.

And I don't know what's happening
Seein' all them laughing
Feel some type of stabbing

"I don't know what's happening to me. I don't know why I am this way. I don't know why I'm not okay." I say as tears fill my eyes.

"It's okay to not be okay. It's okay to not know what's happening — all of that is okay. Admitting that you have no clue what's going on is the hardest thing a person can do." Y/n says.

"I'm here for you, it's me and you against the world. I'm gonna help you figure it out." She says.

"I don't want to figure it out, I just want everything to end!" I say.

You don't understand, wanna close the curtains

"I listen to people talk about me behind my back and act like it never happened every day. People try to make me seem worse than I already am." I say.

You don't understand, wanna close the curtains
People talk about me like they want me hurtin'
And everybody try to paint me as an awful person

"I don't want to live in a world where I have to deal with that." I say.

"Nobody is perfect and no one ever will be. That's because there is no example of perfect. You know who you are — you are Rue Bennett — an exceptional person. Don't let them cut you down." Y/n says.

Trying to not give a fuck 'cause nobody's perfect (Ayy, ayy)
And I know who I am, you don't gotta detest me

"It's high school, people aren't your friends anymore. People are gonna turn your back on you all the time. The only think you can do is say fuck them and move on." She says.

Try to love other people but they don't seem friendly
And the whole world loved me, now they turnin' against me
Homies that I thought I had started to be an enemy (Ayy, ayy)

"Me..." She says.

"And you against the world." We say at the same time.

I smile and hug her.

Time Skip

"You're still alive!" Lexi says hugging me.

"What?" I ask.

"I thought you died." Lexi says.

"Why would you think that?" I ask.

"Cassie said you ODed." Lexi says.

I walk away and Lexi follows me.

"Cassie." I say going in the bathroom.

"How are you gonna fucking lie on me?" I ask.

Damn, so that's how it is?

"What?" Kat asks.

"Didn't you, like, die?" Maddy asks.

"So now you're telling people I'm dead?" I ask.

"I-I never said that." Cassie says.

"You said she flatlined at the hospital." Lexi says.

"No, I didn't!" Cassie says.

"Let me be the first to tell you all. I have been clean for 8 months and I haven't even thought about doing drugs since." I say.

Fighting around people about things I never did (Oh, oh)

"I was an addict, I wanted to get lit every day. We all make mistakes and we have to count on our peers to not hold that against that. Looks like Cassie failed at something once again." I say.

Still making mistakes even though I ain't a kid
for the fun and get lit

"I am so tired of you and your lies. I'm gonna give you a 5 second head start." Maddy says.

Oh shit (Oh shit), here we go again

Cassie runs out of the bathroom and Maddy chases her.

"Maddy!" Kat says following them.

"I'm just so tired of people trying to act they like me and then lie on me. What do you gain from spreading rumors about me?" I say.

Here's another person tryna play pretend
It's another person tellin' me that I'm they friend

"People bare always trying to fuck me over." I say.

But I know they gonna fuck me over when we at the end, ayy

"I'm still gonna ride with you to the end." Lexi says.

Lexi hugs me and I smile.

Time Skip

"What's wrong?" Y/n asks.

"I can't hear my own thoughts." I say.

(And it's hard for me to focus)

"Do you ever feel that way?" I ask looking at Y/n.

"Look at you voicing your feelings." Y/n says.

(To be honest, everything I write is)
(Every other thing that should be spoken)

"Shut up." I say hitting Y/n.

Y/n laughs and I smile.

"Yeah, all the time. I usually just keep it to myself." Y/n says.

They ain't aware that I feel like this (No)
They ain't aware that I'm tryna fight this (No)
I don't talk 'cause I'm going through a crisis

"I don't think waking up is all that bad anymore." I say.

I don't think I'm happy
Wakin' up's a bad dream

"Really?" Y/n asks.

"I realized that I'm surrounded by light because I have you. There's just a speck of darkness." I say.

Crowded by the bad things
Crowded by the— (Ayy)

"Shit, I'm laughing and smiling now." I say.

And I don't know what's happening
Seein' all them laughing
Feel some type of stabbing

"I'm okay now." I say.

I don't know what— (Ayy)
And I don't know what's happening

"All because of you." I say.

I don't think I'm happy
Wakin' up's a bad dream (Wakin' up's a bad dream)

"I just told you where to go and you got there." Y/n says.

Crowded by the bad things
Crowded by the— (Ayy)

"Yeah but you're the reason I wanted to go there anyway." I say.

And I don't know what's happening
Seein' all them laughing (Seein' all them laughing)

"Touché." Y/n says.

Feel some type of stabbing

I laugh and she smiles.

I don't know what— (Ayy)

"I love you." I say.

And I don't know what's happening

Uh-uh, uh-uh

"I love you too." Y/n says.

Uh-uh, uh-uh

I smile and Y/n kisses me.

1580 Words

My 94 year-old great grandma used to make her kids go outside for a stupid reason and lock them out. Then she watched Maury and turned the volume up so she couldn't hear them

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