story idea by @Lm12807248

(in this story, si yin already knows that mo yuan could tell that she was a female)

she was downing her fifth bottle of wine.

then the sixth.

then the seventh.

and then....

she didn't even know anymore. how much did she drink?

getting drunk and sleeping days away was common. it was becoming an almost daily affair now. even when si yin didn't drink, which was getting rarer and rarer, she couldn't sleep, couldn't eat.

and all she could think of was, is this all my fault?

____________
he was sitting there.

he'd sat there for who knows how long.

waiting for her.

he completely ignored the lady who sat next to him, the one that kept trying to get his attention. xuan nü, that was her name.

he played with his fingers again. was she ever going to come back down and meet him?

she won't, a small nagging voice in the back of his head said. you betrayed her. you let her down. you chose xuan nü over her. she will never love you again.

he put his head in his hands, not caring that xuan nü was still right next to him, calling his name, holding his hand.

and all he could think of was, this is my fault.

________
exactly what happened, mo yuan never knew until a few days later, when one of his disciples came to tell him that si yin was brooding by the lotus pond again.

and when he strode to the lotus pond to find her, he knew that he would finally get to understand why she had been in such a foul mood.

she was an open book to him. she never could hide anything from him.

he sat himself next to her, and she jumped a bit when she realised that he was next to her.

"are you okay, seventeenth?"

of course not, shifu.

"of course i'm fine."

"you don't have to hide anything from me, seventeenth, you know that."

"i know."

an uncomfortable pause.

"...it's about li jing."

_____________
kunlun mountain was the same as always today.

so was her agenda.

she was going down the slopes of the mountain, a smile gracing her face, as she anticipated meeting him.

and yet... she didn't know that what she would see there would break her heart.

and she wouldn't know how long it would take to fix it.