Plagues of Earth

"Their planetary defense is strong, but they prepare for battle on a large scale.If we bring our troops to the surface in small drop ships, and lead their military carriers away by attacking their nearby colony. We will take the planet."


"What would be the point of this?"


"Humanity is held up as deity by the rest of the galaxy. As long as they fight, the GA fights with them. But if we destroy them, crush their planet at the source, then we crush the morale of the rest of the galaxy."


"Where do we drop out soldiers?"


"Everywhere, on every major landmass, near every major city. But we do it quietly, drop them into the wilderness first so the humans won't see them coming."


"If we can defeat the humans, we can defeat them all."


***


Location: Upper-Mid Merianda (Previous US/Canada border rocky mountain region)


The burg landed in the thick forests of the north. The human planet was lush and green, and the temperature was moderate, though it leaned slightly towards cold under the canopy of branches. There were sounds everywhere, the chattering of wildlife and strange flying creatures flitting through the trees. The nearest human residence was not far off, maybe a ten cycle march down hill.


They would reach it in no time, and make their sneak attack.


Their team commander barked his commands to the following Burg soldiers and together they began making their way down the hill.


None of them noticed when things began to go wrong.


They had never been to earth, and so were not aware of the sudden silence in the forest that comes before a coming storm.


You see, the Burg are similar to the Iotans, in that they give off a pungent smell. Not so pungent as it tends to affect humans, but pungent enough to affect the nearby wildlife. A wildlife that was not pleased with their presence.


It might have been fine, if they hadn't stumbled into the den.


It started with a light squeaking. A sound that gave them pause as they looked around for the source. One of the burg pushed aside a green fern to reveal a hole dug into the embankment. He would have investigated if it weren't for the loud piercing howl that echoed through the trees just to their right.


They all leaped upright in confusion and fear backing into a circle.


Another howl pierced the forest from their left, another form their right. Until they were surrounded by the sound. Shapes flitted through the trees, furry on all fours and hunched.


A howl from directly behind them.


They spun in place.


As the wolf leaped from the top of the embankment her teeth flashing.


As it turns out wolf pups are fond of Burg flesh


***


New Brazilia (Somewhere in what was once central Brazil, Border rain forest district)


This was the perfect climate, nice warm, dark and moist, shady below the trees that towered overhead in great twisting arcs. The foliage below them was very thick and hard to cut through as they made their way towards the human colonies. This was surely going to be their element, and they laughed at the idea of making the humans suffer as they waded their way through the trees.


The ground before them opened revealing an embankment on the side of a river. There was a hole in the foliage here, and the ground was dry. The burg stepped down onto this spot, their feet crunching slightly in the dirt.


One of them slapped absently at one of it's segmented legs, brushing away a small insect that had crawled onto its body. Another party member did the same.


One of them even shrieked in pain, "It bit me!"


They looked down brushing the little black bugs off their bodies, only to find that the ground was absolutely swarming with them. One of the Burg shrieked, and tried to run his entire body now covered with hundreds of these little black creatures, however he tripped and fell onto his face.


His entire body was black.


The others began to scream as well, swatting at their bodies and their weapons falling to the riverbed as they were overrun by a massive troop of army ants.


They would never make their destination.


***


United Slavic Districts (North/eastern Russia)


This forest was both humid and somewhat cold. It was early morning in the summer, and yet frost still built up on the leaves of the plants overhead. The burg weren't particularly pleased about this, but they were going to have to deal with it.


It was best to keep moving at times like this, and they hurried their way through thick banks of early morning fog towards the not-to-distant human civilization. Their feet were nearly silent over the frosty forest floor dirt compressing under foot.


They had been walking for some minutes when they heard the sound. A strange mournful cry from the woods almost like the cry of a human infant, though slightly deeper. THe sound made them excited. Where they were infants there were likely humans. And who knows that could be a human noise.


They followed the sound looking about the foggy forest.


The noise came again, so close.


Ah, and there it was, though they were disappointed to find it was not a human at all, but two fuzzy brown animals no bigger than waist height. They were so small, so pathetic and pitiful and they cried out in terror when the burg approached.


One of the burg raised it's weapon angry.


The bellow came echoing through the trees rending the very air around them and sending birds scattering into the sky.


The burg turned on their heels as the massive brown bear came charging out of the forest bellowing her teeth flashing.


As it seemed the great land, of what was once, Russia was not pleased with their presence.


***


East Trans African Belt (former Ethiopia)


It was hot and dry, and the burg didn't like it. But at least the ground was mostly flat, and the dirt was easy to navigate. Tall grasses raised to either side of the shallow river just to their left. Animals grunted off in the distance and the sky above was bright and blue. Dust rose up from their feet as they made their way towards the edge of the river, hoping that the water would help to moisten up the air around them.


The grunting grew louder.


They glanced over seeing large bulbous shapes in the water. It didn't much matter to them, and they mostly ignored the creatures, knowing that anything that big was likely to be equally slow. They were making their way up the riverbank now, and the creatures rested in the water just to their side.


Distant grunting grew louder.


One of the burg was standing just next to the bank now when the water exploded casing great droplets into the air as the Hippo burst from the river mouth open wide at it's four foot extension and bit down upon the unsuspecting burg dragging him violently into the water.


The others tried to run, slipped on the mud, and were set upon by the rest of the family.


***


Southern Indasia (India)


The river bank was calm, nothing but floating logs out on the distant water. One of the burg officers was listening to her communications. There were reports form all across the human's home planet, that many of their parties had gone radio silent. She wasn't entirely sure what that could mean but it worried her. Many of them had been traveling along river pathways just like her and her group, and she wondered if that had anything to do with their current situation.


One of the young burg stood at the edge of the water kicking stones into its murky green depths.


"We should definitely move along from this area." She was saying moving back up the bank and towards the forest of trees."


One of he logs had floated closer to shore.


The young burg agreed and bent down to retrieve his weapon from the bank.


A moment later his head had disappeared vanished inside the mouth of a crocodile who then began to spin violently dragging the burg into the water. Alerted to the frenzy others came as well racing up onto the bank.


There was never any evidence that the Burg had visited india, though there were reports about strange noises by the river that morning.


***


Australia (still just Australia)


They came as the sun was rising. A low mist had coated itself over the land, though the day was lucking to be annoyingly hot.


They were just coming up to the edge of the human settlement when they saw it. A distant shape silhouetted between two trees. At first it looked like a man, but as the fog drew back they found a strange creature staring back at them.


One of the burg snorted.


The thing looked like a Tesraki almost, but dumber and a bit taller with large pointy ears, an absolutely massive trunk, and a very long back tail that it used like a Tesraki to stand on iits back legs.


One of the Tesraki crouched down in the foliage resting his hand on a low garden wall.


"Just shoo it off." Their commander ordered, and two of the Burg moved up to confront the dumb looking creature.


Three things happened at once.


First the crouching burg cursed violently flicking his hand and tossing the angry funnel web spider into the bushes.


A hiss rose up from the leaves.


And the kangaroo violently kicked the first burg in the chest collapsing his carapace beyond repair before moving over to stomp his friend.


The death adder struck.


Two of the Burg were convulsing on the ground, another two lay silent and broken. The next two ran off in different directions, one towards the nearby beach and the other back into the forest.


No one is entirely sure what happened after that. All we know is one was found belly up at high tide near the docks where blue ringed octopus are known to be found, and the other was completely gone, though they did spot a rather bloated and very happy looking python chilling in the bushes not far from where the incident occurred.


More and more berg had stopped answering their calls.


Most of the burg would never find out what happened.


But we do.


Burg were found dead all over the world.


A young girl reported a burg attack in the outskirts of London, though her rottweiler had made quick work of that enlisting another pack of suburban dogs to protect the little girl from the freaky bug things.


Alligator attacks in Florida.


Six burg were found plowed over by a speeding bullet train in Japan.


in Lower Mid Mericanda, a group of self-claimed hillbillies with cutoff sleeves and unironic mullets were speeding through the forests on the back of four wheelers taking pot shots at anything remotely burg shaped. They had at least ten confirmed kills, and the creatures never made it out of the swamp.


Another group of burg had made the mistake of landing in one of the last nuclear fallout zones in eastern europe, and ended up cooked by the radiation, their bodies to remain rotting there until cleanup finally made it to the site. It was likely they didn't last more than twenty minutes.


A surfer off the coast of New Zealand watched a school of dolphins ravage a group of burg who had through a water approach would be more prudent. He had no idea how the dolphins knew the burg were intruders, but they seemed very interested in helping out.


One group of burg had managed to land themselves in a city in the european provinces, and found themselves beaten to death violently by a group of drunk civilians carrying improvised weapons, one of them even brandishing a pool cue.


Two more teams froze to death before they reached their destination.


Another was washed away by a minor flood.


One of the burg ended up tipped off a cliff by a massive eagle, falling to his death hundreds of feet below.


Another entire group managed to walk their way into a patch of poison ivy breaking out in horrible boils, which later necrosed as they lay paralyzed on the forest floor.


Somewhere someone was trampled by a moose, while their other friends were whisked over a waterfall.


In yellowstone (yeah it still hasn't blown up yet bc the vents are a good pressure release) at least another team of burg found themselves cooking in the natural hot springs after ignoring the signs that said (keep on the walkway).


Those who chose to land in the city were not greeted cordially either, packs of marauding street dogs, gangs, the homeless, drunk civilians, angry policemen, and a high school baseball team supported by the high school chess team.


Long and short of the story is that earth was-not-having-it.


The burg had made a grave mistake.


Mother earth was fond of her children, even the human ones. 

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